Matt looked at the door to Todd's apartment wondering whether he should knock or use the key. With a sigh he decided to use his key. He pulled the key from his back pocket and, with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, fit the key into the lock.

"Todd?" Matt called softly as he stepped into the apartment. There was no answer. The red-head searched the apartment checking the kitchen, then the bathroom, and finally the bedroom where he found his friend laying on his back, eyes closed. A needle and vial of morphine lay next to him. Matt picked up the vial to try and estimate how much his friend may have taken.

"Don't touch that." Todd opened his eyes and was staring at the ceiling.

Without a word Matt placed the needle and morphine on the floor and sat on the bed, staring at the space between his legs.

"Give it back." Todd said quietly. "I'm not finished with it yet."

"Why? I thought you were better than that." Matt shook his head sadly.

Todd laughed under his breath. "You still think I'm the same guy you met when you first got here. Things have changed. I've changed. I'm not the innocent Todd you met on the streets."

"I know things have changed but why the drugs? You don't need them. I remember you could handle anything so… why?" Matt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Todd simply looked at him for a moment before choosing to speak. "The answer should be obvious to you. I was alone."

Matt looked up sharply and faced his friend. "No you weren't. I was there and I asked if you wanted to move in but you refused. Then I told you that you could come stay if you ever changed your mind."

"And I did but the landlord said you had left with a guy. By the description I knew it was Mello. I didn't know what to do after that. I was hungry all the time. I found Mikey and that's how I got into prostitution."

"Shit, Todd." Matt groaned. He held his head in his hands. "You could have tried to find me. You know I would have helped you out."

"You always talked about how much Mello meant to you and how there was no one for you but him. I didn't want to get between you in anyway. It wasn't all bad though."

"It sounds bad to me."

"For example, that guy you saw at the parking lot is a doctor. I was his personal favorite for awhile. He used to pay in cash but then pretty soon he started to pay with drugs. I just saw him not too long ago and he gave me that morphine. It didn't take much either. Todd gave a euphoric smirk.

Matt slapped him suddenly and without warning. He sat atop his friend, straddling him and pinning his arms to the bed. "You're an idiot."

"No. I'm alone." The blow didn't even seem to bother him.

"I'm right here." Matt yelled.

"No. You're with Mello." Todd responded, deadpan.

"You wanted me to go with Mello." Matt replied angrily.

"Because you could never love me."

"I do love you. Without you I don't think I could have lasted this long." Matt watched as his tears fell and hit Todd's cheek.

Todd, however, seemed unfazed and spoke without emotion. "You don't love me the way you love him. When you're with him and you're happy your eyes light up, your smile gets wider and it's enough to make my heart skip beats. And when you're with him you… glow with a light that hurts to look at because I know that I could never make you look like that. The way you look at me pales in comparison to the way you look at him."

Matt continued to hold him down without thinking about it, his eyes were wide with shock and his mouth was slightly agape. "What are you trying to say?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a genius? I'm surprised you haven't figured it out sooner. I love you Mail Jeevas."

"You…you can't." He stammered. "I—"

"You love Mello and you don't want to ruin our friendship." Todd looked at him with dead eyes. "I know what you're thinking. Just hand me the morphine and leave."

"Just the way you know what I'm thinking I know what you're thinking. I'm not leaving you alone to do something stupid." Matt kept a firm grip on Todd least he try and escape.

"Fine." Todd replied. "Let me up and I'll leave."

"Stop being an idiot." Matt growled. "You're better than this."

"Don't tell me what to do." Todd got angry suddenly but calmed down quickly and returned to his depressive state. "It'll only hurt worse the second time around. Either you let me do this or I go back to the streets. A strange body next to me is better than nobody at all."

"No it's not." Matt said with certainty.

"I refuse to be alone again." Todd yelled.

"You're not alone." Matt cried. "I won't leave you alone. I'll call Near if I have to just to make sure you're never alone."

Todd went quiet –emotionless- again. "So you would leave me? And here I thought you had wanted me around. I guess I am an idiot." He looked at Matt with a tiny smirk. "If you do call Near make sure he sends Gevanni. I could use the company."

"You don't mean that." Matt replied angrily, pressing Todd firmly against the mattress with his body.

"Don't I?" Todd raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell are you even here anyway? Get the fuck off me."

"I'm here because you're my friend and I care about you. I won't let you go until you promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"I'm not fucking promising you anything." Todd struggled in Matt's grasp for a moment before going completely still. "Let me go or I'll kill you." He warned with a chilling glare.

"No you won't." Matt spoke with absolute certainty.

In a flash Todd broke Matt's hold and reversed their positions. Leaning close he whispered in Matt's ear, "I hate you." With that he grabbed the needle and morphine and made his way quickly to the bathroom.

Those words were like a blow to the stomach for the red-head. In the years Matt had known Todd, never had he heard those words ever uttered in the same sentence. Matt brushed off his friend's words, knowing that he could never mean it, and followed him to the bathroom where, as he expected, the door was locked.

"Go away Matt. Go back to Mello." Todd's voice was muted by the door.

"I'm not leaving you alone. Open the fucking door." Matt pounded on the door with both fists. It soon became apparent Todd had no intentions of opening the door himself. Matt pulled out his cell phone and, in a split-second decision, dialed in a number.

"Yes?" Came Near's emotionless voice.

"Near, help me please. It's Todd. I can't make him stop. Please just come, he'll listen to you." Matt sobbed. An awful feeling settled in his stomach as he thought of what his friend might be doing at that very second.

"I'm coming. Hold on for a minute." Near said quickly and hung up.

"Todd, hold on for a little longer. Please." Matt rested his head against the door. "Talk to me. Don't make me feel alone in here."

All was quiet for a moment. "I didn't lie." Todd's voice was barely audible and Matt had to strain to hear. "I do love you and I do hate you. I love you because there is no one with the same constant and passionate soul as you. But I hate you because no matter what you will never love me and I can't get you out my system." Todd laughed hysterically all of a sudden. "You like a fucking drug."

A/N – anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm thinking 2 or 3 left and I'm done. Maybe I'll write a sequel or something if I don't kill them off in some horrible explosion (insert evil laughter here)…