Chapter 23: Being Someone Else

Emily stared at the invitation, reading it over again.

August 3rd.

Only a week away.

Emily had spent a good while trying to decide whether or not she wanted to go. She was no longer with Regulus, and she knew he would be there, so there was a chance that they would meet and a conflict would arise. However, she knew that she was going to be expected and if she didn't show up to the wedding it would seem like a direct insult to Bellatrix.

Emily wasn't an idiot; she knew that insulting Bellatrix Black was like signing a death wish.

Emily shivered, and knew that she didn't want Bellatrix mad at her. Emily was still trying to decide why Bellatrix had invited her in the first place. She was no longer dating Regulus, her only connection to the older girl. So Emily saw no reason for Bellatrix to invite her at all. In all actuality, Emily knew that Bellatrix didn't even notice her until she helped Narcissa with the photo predicament.

There was no benefit for Bellatrix by having my presence at her wedding, so what difference would it make if I went of not?

"Is it a test?" she whispered, rubbing her temple in frustration.

Is that it?

Was Bellatrix testing her loyalty? As graduation for the Slytherin grew nearer the pressure of joining the Dark Lord became greater. If Bellatrix expected Emily to join the Dark Lord's ranks then she would probably want some form of reassurance now that their connection through Regulus was broken. What better way then to invite Emily to her wedding and have a nice little chat?

Although, I doubt any chat with Bellatrix will be a pleasant one. As a Slytherin I'm expected to join You-Know-Who but I don't know if I want to. What benefit is there?

Power?

What is power given to you by someone else worth?

Money?

I have enough of that. I'd just be a servant anyway. Not to mention it'd only make my family hate me more.

Emily put the invitation down and stared at her hands.

My family…Becoming a Slytherin was one thing, but a Death Eater? Mother could no longer be able to stick up for me, or love me. Father would be more than happy to disown me then.

And James…

"He hates me enough as it is for even considering going to this wedding."

But what choice do I have? If I don't go then my loyalties to the Dark Lord and to Slytherin, if there are any, will be questioned and I will be in danger of being named a traitor.

Emily buried her head in her hands. "Either way I'll be a traitor."

A small thump made Emily look up and see the goblet of pumpkin juice that was placed in front of her.

She looked at the waiter and smiled a fake smile. "Thank you."

The young waiter smiled back. "Can I get you anything else?"

Emily shook her head and waved him off. "No thank you, I'm not hungry." She pulled a few sickles from her pocket and held then out. "The drink is all I need."

He seemed disappointed that she was waving him off, but the waiter took the money and left her alone again.

The smile dropped from her face and she looked back down at the invitation thoughtfully, sipping her drink absentmindedly. She was sitting in a shaded corner of the Leaky Caldron, where she decided to go to get away from James's interrogations. He was more anxious over Emily's decision then Emily was. As the date of the wedding got closer the more he bothered her.

She was beginning to get sick of him.

What also bothered her was that after James and Emily had the conversation before she retrieved the letter James had decided that his friendship with Sirius was too strong for James to stay mad at Sirius forever. The next day Emily had been unpleasantly surprised when she learned that Sirius would be joining the Potter family for Sunday lunch.

Emily had thought that once Sirius left their house to get his own place then she wouldn't have to see him until she got back to Hogwarts, but here he was over at the Potter household more then he was at his own. She figured that he only went back to his own place to sleep and then came back to her house to hang out with James.

She may not have had to see him every day, because most of the time the boys went outside to play Quidditch or went to explore Muggle London, but on the days they stayed anunpleasant feeling would arise within her when she knew that he was in her house.

The feeling was not something she wanted to dwell upon because Emily knew that any feelings and emotions related Sirius Black would only lead to trouble, as she had to find out the hard way.

"Eimly?"

Emily's eyes, which had closed as she had retreated into her thoughts, snapped open and she looked up, her blue eyes locking with the lighter blue ones of Narcissa Black.

She stood elegantly in powder blue robes, her long blond hair standing out nicely, her hand placed gently in the crook of the arm of the man next to her. Emily immediately recognized him as Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa's fiancé.

Emily observed him, the proud way he held himself, an air of arrogance around him as he surveyed the other occupants of the Leaky Caldron, a miniscule scowl in place on his pointed face as he compared the simple and dingy robes of the others to his own expensive looking ones, and his long, straight white-blond locks. Nothing on his person was rumpled or out of place, and that included the woman on his arm.

Emily looked at Narcissa again and nodded to her. "Narcissa, having lunch?"

She laughed. "No, we would never stay to have lunch in a dingy place like this. Lucius and I were just about to go into Diagon Ally to shop. I don't think you've ever met Lucius, have you Emily?"

Emily shook her head stiffly. "Never formally."

"Well, Emily I would like you to meet Lucius Malfoy, my fiancé." Narcissa said proudly, putting pressure on Lucius's arm. "Lucius, this is Emily Potter."

Finally his sharp gray gaze fell on Emily and he smirked, extending a hand to her. "Miss Potter, it's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard much about you."

Emily plastered a charming smile on her face and she stood, taking his hand and letting his kiss the back of it. "Likewise Mr. Malfoy, and please call me Emily."

He nodded. "Then return the favor and call me Lucius."

Emily nodded and took her hand back. "Alright."

"Out shopping as well Emily?" Narcissa asked.

"I'm not sure." Emily said. "I originally came just to get out. I couldn't stand to be in the house with my brother and his friend for one more moment."

Narcissa nodded. "It's understandable. I see how he is at school with my so called cousin, but to be alone with them in the same house, dreadful."

"It's a pity the rest of your family are such blood traitors." Lucius commented with smile, looking into Emily's eyes intently. "Thankfully, at least one is going the proper path."

"Yes, thankfully." Emily replied stiffly.

Narcissa, ever oblivious to the tension that suddenly materialized around Emily and Lucius as he looked down at Emily mockingly, spotted the invitation lying innocently on the table and smiled.

"Ah, you got it. When you didn't respond to the invitation I was worried that you didn't get it." The blond girl looked at Emily, suddenly frowning. "You are going to come, aren't you? It was Bellatrix who told me to send you an invitation. She's looking forward to seeing you."

"Well, I don't know if I'll be able to-"

"It's highly insulting to attend someone's engagement party, but not attend the actual wedding when invited." Lucius said, smiling coldly.

Emily pursed her lips in irritation and stared up at him. "I understand that, Lucius, but I was unprepared for the invitation considering that I am no longer in a relationship with Regulus, Bellarix's cousin."

"That, however, doesn't seem to matter much to the bride-to-be as she invited you anyway. Besides, you've had more than enough time to decide whether or not you wish to attend. So, Emily, is there another reason you don't want to come?"

Emily kept her face black, but her eyes showed her anger. "No, there is no other reason." She ground out.

Lucius smirked. "Then I suppose we'll see you there."

"I suppose so." She replied.

Narcissa smiled. "Oh, wonderful, Bellatrix will be very happy to hear that."

Emily faked a smile. "Please give her my thanks for inviting me."

Narcissa nodded and opened her mouth, but Lucius cut her off.

"We should go Narcissa, there are many things we have to do today."

Narcissa nodded. "Of course, Lucius." She looked at Emily again and nodded. "Well, I'll see you on the 3rd then, right?"

Emily nodded. "Yes, see you both then."

Emily watched the blond pair walk away until they were out of sight, entering the room joining the bar and the entrance to Diagon Ally. She sat back down in her booth heavily, her smile gone.

"I guess I don't have to make a decision anymore." Emily sighed and leaned back in her seat.

"Wonderful."


Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Geez, regular chess is so boring."

"Yeah, but mum finds wizards chess barbaric and won't buy a set."

Sirius groaned and sunk lower in his chair. "Well it's boring."

"Right, and you're not one who's used to being bored." James said with a roll of his eyes as he reset the chessboard.

"Until recently. No, I wasn't."

James paused and looked at Sirius. "Padfoot, I told you…"

Sirius waved a hand and sat up straight. "I wasn't accusing Prongs, I was just thinking on how much I disliked it."

James nodded and a smirk slowly grew. "Well no worries Pads, 'cause you don't have to worry about that."

A sudden thump made the boys look up at the ceiling. It sounded as though something had fallen.

"Just ignore it." James said returning his attention to the chessboard. "It's just Emily."

"What is she doing?" Sirius asked curiously as another thump sounded.

James's face darkened. "Getting ready."

"Ready?"

James nodded, not looking up from the chessboard. "I'm sure you've heard about what's happening today."

"No," Sirius said slowly, confused. "Why would I know?"

"It concerns one of your ex-family members."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Why the hell would I know anything that has to do with my family?" He spat.

James glanced up at him. "Well, a certain member of the Black family is joining a Lestrange in holy matrimony. The event of the year, or so I'm told."

Sirius's eyes widened and he glanced up. "She's not…"

James looked back down. "She is."

He sighed. "I tried to tell her not to go, that she would only get hurt, but she won't listen to me. I thought that she wasn't going to accept, but a week back she came back home from Diagon Ally with new dress robes, saying that she was going and wasn't going to change her mind."

James ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to do with her Padfoot."

Silence.

James looked up, but Sirius wasn't there.


Emily cursed and hopped on one foot, the other in her hands, the big toe red from where she kicked her dresser accidentally.

Emily plopped down of the cushioned chair in her dressing table and mirror, putting her foot up of the table and examining it.

She pocked the red spot and winced. "Ow."

Sighing, she placed her foot back on the ground and looked at her self in the mirror, tilting her head. Her head looked humongous with all the rollers in it and quite ridiculous with the pink towel that was wrapped around her. Placing an elbow on the table and resting her chin in her hand Emily stared at herself.

"Is this really worth it?"

Picking up her magical make-up kit she had purchased a week back, she began the grueling task of putting it on.

After her surprise meeting with Narcissa and Lucius, Emily knew that there was no excuse that she could give to get out of going to the wedding. Not when the sister of the bride got a confirmation that she was going. So Emily had spent time brooding in the Leaky Caldron before sucking it up and going into Diagon Ally to get dress robes for the special occasion.

She had been tempted to buy a set of black robes with a veil to hide her face, the wedding could be considered her funeral after all if she did anything bad, but she changed her mind and decided on forest green robes made of a silky material that hugged her tall figure nicely. One long sleeve flowed down her right arm and tied at her left shoulder, leaving her left arm bare.

The skirts reached the floor, but it was easy to walk in, so if she needed to make a break for it at all during the wedding or the reception she could. She also decided on wearing a pair of black flats on her feet.

Heels were too hard to run in.

Emily smiled in amusement and finally put down the make-up brush, surveying herself with a frown. She looked so foreign to herself. Besides the fact that her hair was still being held up by the giant pink rollers, the stuff on her face made her feel like she was wearing a mask; a painted mask.

Her cheeks had a sparkly whitish shimmer, her lips were painted with a pink gloss, her eyelids were smoothed other with a green powder the matched her dress, and her eyelashes stood out darker and seemingly longer than before.

She looked nice, the make-up bringing out her features, but she wasn't herself.

"But it's not about being myself, is it?" Emily questioned herself. "It's about being who they want me to be."

Walking over to her wardrobe, Emily took out her dress and laid it on her bed, putting the hanger back in the closet. Unwrapping the towel and standing only in her underwear and strapless bra she set off to put on her dress, but paused and turned her back to the mirror, looking over her shoulder at her back.

Suddenly, the door to her room banged open and Sirius Black came barging in.

"Emily! Don't…" He trailed off and his eyes widened, taking in the half naked girl in the room. He stood rooted to the spot, not able to look away. It wasn't her body that caught his attention, for Sirius Black had seen many girls' bodies, some with greater bodies than Emily's, but the scars- claw marks- that ran from her right shoulder to her left hip.

He brought his eyes to meet Emily's wide blue ones, his own just as wide. He had never actually seen how bad the scars from Remus had been, until now.

Emily got over her shock and let out a blood-curdling scream.

"BLACK, GET OUT!"

The scream seemed to have caught James's attention from downstairs, and the next moment he was there as well.

"What's going on?!" He caught sight of Emily, practically naked and covered his eyes.

"Ah, put some clothes on!"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Emily screamed while throwing her hairbrush and any other objects she could get her hands on at the two boys.

James was the first to retreat, but Sirius had yet to move, trying to block the onslaught on inanimate objects and look at Emily.

"SIRIUS!" James roared as he saw this. "STOP LOOKING AT MY SISTER!"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Emily screamed again, finally picking up the chair and throwing it at Sirius.

Sirius's eyes widened and he dived out of the way, scrambling out of the room after James. Emily ran over and slammed the door, picking up the chair she'd thrown and wedging it against the door.

"Ugh! What I would give for a lock!"

She glared at the door, her breath coming out in pants as her heartbeat slowed down again, her cheeks red. She finally calmed down and sat on her bed, next to her dress, her head in her hands.

He saw…he saw how ugly I am.

Tears prickled in the corner of her eyes and she quickly wiped them away before her make-up began to run.

She turned her attention to her dress and picked it up, laying it across her lap, her hand running over the silky material.

This is too beautiful for me.

Closing her eyes she suppressed more tears and stood up, slipping into the dress; it fit like a glove

She stood in front of the mirror and began taking the rollers out of her hair and placing them on her table, her black hair coming out as soft ringlets. When finished she stared at herself in the mirror blankly, not liking how she looked nothing like herself.

"I'm what they want me to be." She whispered.

"Is that all I'll ever be?"