Chapter 8: The Fairytale Life

Bella POV

"No one ever will be."

What the hell was that all about? Sure, he didn't go entirely caveman on me; just normal overprotective Edward. But honestly, did he never expect me to date? That the only men in my life would be him and my dad? All of this weighed on my mind during the drive to La Push with Jake.

"You're really quiet over there. Are you alright, Bells?" Jake said suddenly, pulling me abruptly from my thoughts. I smiled and nodded, trying to not let on on that anything was bothering me at all. Jake had been gracious enough to pick me up today to save me the trouble of bold-faced lying to my father about who I was attending the party with. My dad liked Jake, and liked it even more that we were simply good buddies. Like me and Edward. "I guess I expected you to be a little livelier with all you've been going on about Cullen coming home for the last two weeks now."

I chuckled embarrassedly and shrugged my shoulders. "It was good to see him. I missed him so much, but he just seemed… strange. Something was off about him and I couldn't put my finger on it," I replied somewhat abstractedly, picking lightly at the new jeans I had bought in Port Angeles with Alice last week when we went shopping for school clothes. They were a little pricey, but I couldn't argue with her. They fit me well, and were comfortable; can't get much better than that. After a moment of continued silence, I looked over to Jacob and he had a small amused smirk on his face. "I'm sure it's just that he's been away for so long, I'm not as attuned to him as I was before."

"Or maybe that you missed him more than you should?" Jake replied with a chuckle, wiggling his eyebrows at me and laughing out loud when I punched him in the arm. "Come on, Bells. It's so damn obvious. I don't know why you're even bothering with this date with Captain Pigtail tonight."

I rolled my eyes and flicked his tied off hair that continued well down his back. "You're not one to be making cracks there, hairboy."

"Hey! This is a ponytail, get it right!" Jake laughed, holding his finger up.

"And the difference is, smartass?" I countered, folding my arms over my chest and turning in my seat slightly toward him.

"They're longer with more substance," Jake grinned wickedly, casting me a sideways glance.

"Pigs are cute!"

"They squeal like girls!"

"They don't leave huge piles of shit everywhere!"

"Nah, they just roll in it."

"No one makes them their bitch and forces them to lug fat asses and heavy equipment everywhere."

"Of course not! Then they'd be too tough to eat. Bacon yummm."

"Ugh! Jake, that's it, I'm becoming a vegetarian," I huffed and turned in my seat, and looked out the window.

"In all seriousness, Bella. Why are you doing this? I know it's not because your feelings for Cullen have changed," Jake replied in a calm soft voice and my eyes returned to my lap. In the last few weeks that I had spent with Jake, we had talked about so much and shared our concerns, fears and our deepest hearts' desires. He was the first person I ever felt comfortable with talking about my affection for Edward. He didn't judge me or, until now, try to force my hand in anything. In fact, he never really even brought it up until now. "Come on, you can't still think that you're not good enough."

"As a matter of fact, Jacob. I'm really not. I'm not his type, and you of all people should know this," I snapped somewhat coldly, and although I instantly felt bad, I kept my eyes out the window. It hurt me to know that the first guy I had ever been attracted to in any way looked at me as just a buddy. At times, I even wondered if I was no more than a little sister in his eyes. His behavior tonight almost felt like it. An overprotective brother just realizing his baby sister has suddenly grown up right in front of him.

"Come on, B. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? If the guy doesn't see that you're a total hottie, he's blind or needs his head examined or something. Either that, or he's just a plain moron," Jake chuckled and gave me one of his infectious smiles. I was beginning to wonder if anything I did would ever be enough to make Jacob angry. Goodness knows I've pissed off Edward too many times to count and we were as close as you can get without being in involved. "Oh look, here comes the douche bag now."

I heard Jake grumble slightly from the driver's seat as we came to a stop in the parking lot, and I smiled slightly as I saw James walking toward the car as we approached. "You promised to be nice, Jacob," I said through my smile, my lips not moving at all.

"I will if he is," Jake replied in the same manner and we both stepped out of the car.

James' lips made an O as he walked up to me, whistling slightly. "Damn babe, look at you, huh?" he said with a Cheshire smile and lifted me into his arms, my feet leaving the ground. I giggled softly until he put me back down and draped his arm lazily across my shoulders. "Hey Jake, thanks for bringing her out."

"Uh huh," was all Jake managed to utter before walking away.

I slid my arm around James' waist and we walked together onto the beach, meeting up with some of his friends, and I swore I had never felt more out of place. The only thing any of us had in common was James. It wasn't like hanging out with Jake and his friends, and definitely nothing like being with Edward and my friends in Forks. But I had to move past Edward and whatever these feelings were that I held for him, and realize that we were only ever meant to be good friends.

"You alright, babe?" James asked me suddenly when apparently I remained quiet for too long, since everyone was staring at me.

I felt my cheeks flush but I managed a smile and nodded. "Yea, I'm fine. I think I'm just gonna go grab a Coke or something," I replied and began to move away.

James held tight to my shoulders and looked to his friends. "I'm gonna go take my girl to get a drink. Later," he said and when I tried to protest, not wanting to tear him away from his friends; he gave me a smile and kissed my temple. "I see them every day. We're supposed to be having a date, right?"

I blushed more deeply and bit my lip with a nod as we came to a cooler full of ice and cans of soda. After we both grabbed one, he took my hand and we walked to the far end of the beach and sat along the edge of the water. I slipped off my shoes so I could feel the cool water wash up over my feet. We talked more freely now that we were away from the crowd, and he really was a sweet guy. Very polite and considerate with one minor exception. I despised being called 'babe', but I let it slide because of all of his other wonderful qualities.

When the sun began to set, we sat silently and watched it go down into the water. The first shiver that ran through me caused him to remove his leather jacket and wrap it around my shoulders. I felt like a girl in the fifties, giddy because she was wearing her boyfriend's letterman jacket and they were that much closer to 'going steady'. All I needed was his class ring and I was golden.

Music started behind us and there were torches lighting up along the beach. James looked to me and smiled. "Need another?" he asked, pointing to my now empty can of Coke and I nodded.

As I stood, I slid my arms inside the sleeves of his jacket, feeling like an idiot for not remembering my own. James simply chuckled and wrapped his arm around me, rubbing my arm briskly in an attempt to warm me, and suddenly my mind wasn't in the moment anymore.

Edward always did that, as I frequently chilled easily here after living in Phoenix for so long. However, there was always so much more comfort in the gesture when it was Edward. A warmth beyond the physical aspect. That same warmth I felt when his arms came around me at the airport, in his bedroom; anytime I was in his arms.

But that was exactly why I was here tonight and I needed to keep reminding myself of that. James saw me in a way that Edward never would.

Before I could stop myself, I yawned and covered my mouth with the back of my hand. I was exhausted since I hadn't slept well the night before in anticipation of Edward coming home and seeing him.

"Hmm, maybe I should take you home," James said in a concerned voice.

But before I could answer, Jake was at my side. "I'll take care of that," he retorted, startling me slightly with his sudden presence. James looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but Jake simply smiled. "Wouldn't want to make the Chief suspicious by a strange guy bringing his little girl home, now would we? Come on, Bells."

"I'll be there in a sec," I called back to him as he headed for the car. I turned back to look at James as I shrugged off his jacket and handed it back to him. "I had a really good time tonight. Thank you for asking me."

James draped his jacket over one arm, and took my hand with the other as we walked together over to Jake's car. "I had a great time tonight too, Bella. I really hope we can do it again sometime."

I bit my lip to suppress a grin as we stopped by the passenger door. "Would that be a discreet way of asking me for a second date?" I teased lightly with chuckle, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

James' eyes twinkled as he laughed and licked his bottom lip while he nodded. "Yea, I guess it is. I really like you, Bella," he said softly, releasing my hand and bringing his up to brush my cheek gently. "You really are amazing."

I felt my throat tighten almost uncomfortably as his hand came to rest on the side of my neck gently and his face moved slowly toward mine. I closed my eyes just seconds before his lips came into gentle contact with mine, but it was not at all what I was expecting. He wasn't a horrible kisser like my first kiss; he was actually quite a good kisser. His lips were soft and gentle against mine but my heart didn't start racing, my toes didn't curl and it didn't spark the same desire deep inside of me that Edward's kiss had. When it ended, I didn't feel like I wanted to cry. I simply nodded and said goodnight, settling into Jake's car.

All the way home, my mind was once again far off somewhere on the other side of Forks; where I should have been tonight. After months of waiting, Edward was finally home and I had been in La Push. What a way to welcome him home. Suddenly I began missing him all over again and I pulled my phone out of my pocket to text him.

I really have missed you this summer. Are we on for tomorrow?

I hit send and sighed heavily, glancing over at Jake when I heard him chuckling softly. "You've got it so bad," he laughed and shook his head.

I looked down into the center console and found a stray bottle cap in the cup holder, and picked it up and chucked it at his head. "Shut up, Jacob. I was just telling him goodnight."

"Sure sure, keep telling yourself that," Jake replied with that grin still in place, irritating the crap out of me all the way home.

Edward POV

I couldn't concentrate on anything tonight. Everything seemed so wrong and out of place without Bella there. She was the main thing I was looking forward to coming back to; and the one thing missing tonight.

As soon as everyone had gone for the night, only leaving my parents and brother there, I decided to go out to the pool. I had to admit, I was absolutely floored at what my parents had done for me while I was gone, and I couldn't help but wonder how much of it was my mother's idea to keep me in Forks. My dad would be retiring at the end of this year from the Army after twenty-five years of service and they had decided that this was where they were going to settle for good. But the one thing that might have had a chance of keeping me in this place I despised was off on a date tonight; proving Tanya's theories completely null and void.

I dove into the water and as I pushed my body as hard as I could, to work muscles long forgotten, I began to think that maybe it was better this way. She was far too young and innocent to be dragged into this world I was creating for myself, and I shouldn't be so selfish as to want to subject her to that. She deserved the fairytale life; the perfect man, the perfect wedding, the house with the 2.5 children.

Nothing resembling anything I could give her.

But that didn't stop me from wanting it; from wanting her. And the jealousy I felt pulsing through my body all night was nothing like anything I had ever felt before. Was he touching her? Holding her hand? Did he notice the very faint gold flecks in her otherwise dark chocolate eyes? The small birthmark behind her right ear? Was he making her laugh? Was he kissing her goodnight, feeling those full soft lips…

Dammit Cullen, stop tormenting yourself like this, I mentally scolded as I pulled myself up the ladder and out of the pool, grabbing my towel to dry off. I looked down at my phone as I was drying off my hair and saw that I had received a message while I was swimming. I opened it and a smile instantly came to my lips.

I really have missed you this summer. Are we on for tomorrow?

I chuckled softly, and just like that, all my cares and worries seemed to subside momentarily. I would always have my Bella, no matter what or in what form and I swore to remind myself at least once every day that that was the most important thing to remember.

I've missed you too. I'll see you tomorrow morning, I'll bring breakfast. Sleep well, firecracker.