Chapter 26: Trust

"Is she still up there?" Mrs. Potter asked worriedly, looking at the ceiling.

James looked up from his lunch at the ceiling as well, knowing that his mother was indicating Emily, who had been sitting on the roof since early that morning.

When Emily had gotten back from Grimmauld Place, unconscious in Sirius's arms, James had been worried and tried to question Sirius, but Sirius had just returned James's cloak and handed Emily over to him without saying anything, then apparated out.

If James had been curious before, the Emily's week silence and Sirius's lack of responses to James's letters made him anxious.

James had prepared himself for screaming and yelling from his sister –she was so good at it after all- but instead there was silence, too much silence. Emily was never silent when confronted about anything, especially when it was their mother who confronted her.

Joan Potter was at first concerned at her daughter's silence and had tried to talk to her, but Emily did not leave her room, even for meals. Joan had then begun to leave meals outside the door, but never made actual contact. She was still trying to communicate with her only daughter, but it was futile. As a result Joan looked wearier and wearier after every attempt.

For the first time in his life James could actually describe his mother as old. With her usual smile and cheerful aura James never thought much on her age. Even after his mother and father began to make frequent visits to the hospital for checkups he was never very concerned, but now…

He noticed how his mother had to strain herself to reach up and get a cup out of the cabinet. How his father's hands shook while he held things. How they had to pause while walking up the stairs to catch their breaths. The sad looks his mother had in her eyes as she stared off into space. The raspy sound of his father's voice as a result from the continuous cough that plagued him. And finally, the looks they shot each other whenever the topic of the future came up.

For the first time in a long time, James Potter was scared.

Was there something wrong?

Did something happen?

Was something going to happen?

James watched in silence as his mother picked up his now empty plate, her hand shaking violently from the strain.

"Here mum, I got it." James said, taking the plate from her and putting it in the sink.

Joan smiled and sat down. "Such a sweet boy." Her eyes trailed over his face, as if memorizing it, before she looked at the ceiling again, her thoughts returning to her daughter.

"Where's dad, mum?" James asked, trying to catch his mother's attention again and erase the sadness from her eyes.

Joan noticed her son's concern and put on a smile for him. "He's just on in for a check-up."

Check-up

"This is the third one this month…." James trailed off.

Joan waved a hand at the unasked question. "No, nothing's wrong. Don't worry James, everything is fine. Our healer just likes to have regular check-ups for his…older patients."

James sat next to his mother. "Mum, you-"

"Why don't you invite your friends over James, hm?" She interrupted. "You can all play Quidditch and I'll make you all lunch. I haven't seen Peter and Remus in a while; it'll be nice to have them over before the new school year starts."

James nodded slowly.

"Alright I expect your letters to come soon, and then we can go to Diagon Ally, I might as well get some new robes as well. I have no doubt you'll be Quidditch captain James, so why don't we buy you a new broom? And the O.W.L.s results will come too, and Emily's are probably top marks. We'll get her something as well."

Joan paused and looked sad again. "That is if she ever comes down."

"I'll get her down." James said determinedly.

"Will you?" Joan asked hopefully. "Oh, thank you James, I'm sure she'll come down then. She's always looked up to you."

James bit the inside of his cheek and clenched a fist behind his back. "Don't worry mum, I'll get her to come down." He left the kitchen and headed to his room.

Once inside his room he didn't break stride as he grabbed his broom and opened the large window doors. Stepping onto the balcony he mounted his broom and took flight, heading for the roof.

He hovered above it and stared down at the hunched form of his sister. She was staring off into the distance, her arms wrapped around her legs, her chin resting on her knees. She looked calm and relaxed, and it only made James angrier.

"Oi!"

Emily looked up sharply as someone shouted at her. She was surprised to see James landing on the roof and making his way towards her.

"Emily Ann Potter, you will leave this roof and go downstairs! You've been sulking for too long."

Emily looked away. "Leave me alone."

James threw down his broom and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Stop this! Do you realize what you're doing?"

"Of course I do!" Emily snapped angrily. "But I don't expect you to understand! Anything I do is my ownproblem, now leave me alone James!"

"I don't care what stupid mistakes you've made, but do you realize what you're doing to mum?!"

"Mum?" Emily whispered. "What does mum have to do with this?"

"Everything!" James burst. "While you retreat into yourself and lock yourself up in your room you're not only hurting yourself, but you're hurting mum too. She's worrying herself sick over you, literally, and if you care about her at all you'll go downstairs, get your lunch, and pretend that everything is fine!"

"But it's not James!" Emily yelled, standing up. "Everything is not fine. Everything is suddenly crazy and I don't know what to do. You expect me to do one thing, while others expect me to do something else. I just want to be alone for a while so that I can clear my head."

James pursed his lips. "You being alone isn't a good way to clear your head. I know you Emily, and when you're alone you think too much and what you think about aren't the happiest of thoughts."

"You don't know anything about me! Not anymore, James, and don't think that you understand anything-"

"I don't understand, Emily, and I probably never will, but right now I don't care, because right now mum is suffering because you're being a selfish brat who thinks her problems are greater than her family's!"

Tears rolled down Emily's cheeks. "I…I thought that it would….would be b-better if I just s-stayed away from everyone."

"No, especially when the people who love you don't understand what you're going through." James said softly, taking a step away from her. "So you can either tell mum what you've been doing-"

"She'll hate me!" Emily sobbed.

"Or you pretend that everything is fine." James continued as if she hadn't spoken.

"But it's not!"

"Mum and dad don't have very long to find out how bad things have gotten!"

Emily sucked in a quick breath. "They're…dying?"

"They're old, Emily, and they're not as healthy as they used to be. Have you noticed all the check-up and hospital visits? How they've become so weak that they can hardly pick up anything without their hands shaking, how they can't bend down without hurting their backs, or how they can't get up from a chair or climb up the stairs without losing their breath?"

"That just means that they just have to take it easy. Then…then-"

"Then what? They'll get better? Old age isn't a disease, and soon they're going to-"

"Don't say it!" Emily yelled. "How can you even think like this?! You're talking about our parents dying! I know they're old, but I'm still, we're still young! They can't leave us so early."

"Yelling at me isn't going to change it Emily. I won't let the inevitable stop me from enjoying the time that's left with my parents."

"What's the point of having magic if it can't stop death?" Emily asked bitterly.

"Magic can't fix everything Emily." James said sadly. "It can be used to heal almost everything, but mum and dad aren't sick. It's…" He struggled to finish. "…better for them to go naturally. Not everyone has that choice in times like these."

"But what about us James?! What are we supposed to do?" Emily asked shrilly. "It's easy for them to up and die, but they're leaving us to fend for ourselves. What are we supposed to do?!"

"WHO CARES?! Who care what we'll do! Our parents are dying Emily and all you care about is what's going to happen to you?! Stop being selfish and start caring for someone else other than yourself. You make it seem like the only one you can trust is yourself, and the only one who loves you is yourself. But more people love you than you think! Mum is worrying herself sick and I'm sick of you avoiding her just cause you think it's for the best. YOU'RE NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD SO STOP ACTING LIKE IT!"

"I KNOW JAMES, BUT I'M TRYING TO THINK REALISTICALLY!"

"STOP TRYING TO BE SMART AND STOP THINKING!"

"I CAN'T!"

"WHY?!"

"BECAUSE!" Emily clenched her fists and looked away. "Because I can't be like you James. I can't do anything for myself. So far everyone has chosen my life for me, and all I have left are my own thoughts."

James sighed. "Emily…I know that I haven't been the best brother recently, but…but you haven't been the best sister either!"

"Is this another one of those 'Because you're a Potter you should be a Gryffindor' speeches? Cause if it is I don't want to hear it." Emily snapped.

"No, it's more of a 'I don't give a bloody fuck if you're a Slytherin, but if you throw your life away for nothing I'll never forgive you' type of speech." James rebutted.

Emily paused. "It…it won't be for nothing."

James grabbed her shoulders again and looked her straight in the eye. "Emily. You can trust me, okay. No matter what happens I'll be here for you. I don't care what path you chose. I swear I won't turn my back on you. Just promise me that you won't live you life by someone else's plan. Do what you want and I'll be here for you. Trust me."

"Trust you." Emily said slowly. "You want me to trust you? The most judgmental person in the world? You want me to trust you not to judge me?"

"No, I want you to trust me that's all. I'll always be here for you."

Emily bit her lip. "Really?"

James nodded determinedly. "You're my sister and I'll protect you."

Emily slowly smiled. "Prove it."

"How-"

But Emily had already broken away and was running towards the edge of the roof. She stopped at the bordering railing and turned back to face James, her hands grasping the railing.

"I'll trust you if you prove you'll be there for me." She let go of the railing and slowly fell back, her arms held out.

James's eyes widened. "EMILY!"

Reacting quickly he ran forward, picking up his broom as he went and jumped off the roof after Emily. He leaned forward on the broom and sped up after her. She was at least ten feet from hitting the ground when he caught her around the waist and pulled up on the broom, stopping it midair.

"Are you crazy?!" James screamed, looking down at the girl in his arms. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"I was just seeing if I could trust you with my life." Emily replied, but added. "Also, that was something I always wanted to do."

"You've always wanted to jump off the roof?!" James shouted.

"Yes." She said simply.

"You are crazy!"

"Would you stop yelling? I would very much like to have my hearing intact." Emily said, covering the ear he shouted into. "And can you put me down?"

"Fine." James huffed. "But I'm letting you off on the ground. In cause you have any other fantasy involving heights."

Emily smiled. "'Course."

James flew down and softly landed, setting Emily down and getting off his broom. He shouldered his broom and looked down at his sister, who almost matched him in height by three or so inches.

"So you're okay?"

"No." Emily smiled. "But for now, I guess I can stop thinking about myself and think of those more important." She headed towards the front door. "Our parents."

James watched her for a moment before sighing in relief and following.

That worked out better than I hoped.


"Ten O.W.L.s! Oh Emmy this is wonderful. I knew you would do well. That's two more than your brother got, and you made prefect again, also something James didn't get." Joan gushed over breakfast the next morning.

Emily looked at James across the table and smirked smugly, looking like a cat that'd caught a mouse.

"Hey!" James protested. "It's not my fault I only took the required nine classes and didn't strive to get a position that gives others detentions and stuff, and really, who care about History of Magic? Everyone fails that on the O.W.L.s."

"I didn't." Emily mocked, holding up her O.W.L. results.

"Yes, James. Don't give me that excuse. You got a 'Dreadful' and your sister got an 'Outstanding', how do you explain that?"

"Well obviously she's a freak with no life." He mumbled, stabbing at his pancakes.

"Hey!" Emily said, having heard him. "Just because I spend my time studying and doing my homework when I'm supposed to instead of spending all my time thinking about Quidditch and Lily Evans doesn't mean I'm a freak. You just don't know how to organize your time right."

James turned red. "Shut up, I don't spend all my time thinking about Evans."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Sure, but you spend enough time staring at her, and when are you going to figure out that girls don't like to be called by their last names?"

James glared.

"Who's this Lily Evans?" Joan asked suddenly, causing Emily to grin and James to pale.

"No one!" James said loudly as Emily opened her mouth.

Joan raised an eyebrow.

"She's the girl that James is madly in love with, and who he's been asking to go out with him for the last three years."

James bowed his head and Joan smiled widely.

"Oh James, how wonderful. You should invite this girl over so I can meet her. I'd love to meet the girl you're in love with."

"I'm not in love with her!" James said, his face beet red.

"Don't worry mum, I'll point her out when we go to Kings Cross. She's easily findable, what with her bright red hair and all." Emily said, still smirking at her embarrassed brother.

"Oh, how wonderful, she must be a lovely girl if my Jamesy likes her so much." Joan said smiling innocently at her son. "How did you meet her James?"

"Oh, she's in his House." Emily said. "They met the first day of school. Poor boy didn't realize he liked her until his fourth year. He spent the first three years confronting his crush through pranks and teasing."

"Oh how adorable!" Joan said.

Emily nodded. "Yes, and she tries so hard to keep James in his place. She knows how to handle him and get him to stop all his tomfoolery."

"Tomfoolery?" James muttered, shaking his head.

"I like this girl even more. Now I must meet her. You'll have to introduce me after Emily points her out." Joan said, turning to her son.

"No!" James stood, looking irritated. "No one will be meeting anybody!"

Emily turned her attention to her breakfast and attempted to stifle her giggles while Joan hid her smile.

"Alright James, honey, no one will be meeting anybody. Now why don't you open your letter so I can have your booklist."

James huffed and sat back down, tearing his still sealed envelope open. "Stupid women and their obsession with meeting other women. If dad were here and not at the Ministry he'd stop them. They don't even know-"

He stopped his mumbling and stared at his letter, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.

"James?" Joan said, noticing his horrified look. "Is something wrong?"

"Maybe he was expelled." Emily inputted with a smirk. "All the pranks catching up to him."

"Emily, hush." Joan said shushing her. "What's the matter James?"

"I…I…I'm…"

Emily snatched the letter out of his grasp. "Must be good if he's incapable of speech." She read the letter herself and her smile instantly dropped, her own eyes widening.

"No…this can't be…" reaching forward she grabbed the envelope and turned it over. Onto the table fell the book list, a shiny gold captain's badge, and another gold badge.

Joan gasped and picked up the second badge. "Oh, James…this is…you're…"

"You got Head Boy?!" Emily yelled, shocked, re-reading the letter. "How?!"

James shook himself out of his daze and glared. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly how it sounds." Emily said. "How does someone like you, who spent most at his time at Hogwarts doing pranks on others get the highest student position?"

James opened his mouth to object, but then smirked. "Does this mean that I get to tell you what to do?"

Emily glared. "No."

James chuckled gleefully. "Yes, it does. You're only a Prefect, and I'm Head Boy, meaning I'm your superior. I get to tell you what to do. Ha! This doesn't seem that bad after all!"

"Bad?" Joan repeated. "My son made Head Boy, that's far from bad!" She slowly got up and threw her arms around him. "Oh James! I'm so proud of you! This is amazing, I never thought I'd see the day!"

James patted her back and looked over her shoulder to throw Emily a smug smile.

"Who's the favorite now?" He mouthed.

Emily glared, but suddenly smirked. "Oh, this is wonderful, because I can only assume who'll be Head Girl."

James narrowed his eyes and Joan turned to her daughter.

"Who dear?"

"Lily Evans!"

"Oh, James, this is even better!" Joan gushed. "Now I have to meet this girl! Especially since you two will be sharing the Head positions for your seventh year." Joan continued to suggest things for James, who was now glaring at Emily.

Emily smirked and mouthed. "Ha. Ha."

James glared harder before looking away, trying to get his mother to quit directing his personal life.

Emily smiled and pushed the sausages around her plate with her fork, glancing at her mother and brother then down at the Hogwarts letters and badges that cluttered the table; her own and James's.

This year will be interesting.

For better or worse?

Emily didn't know.