"Hey! You're back!" Carly greeted and hugged her best friend. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Fredjerk was all over it." Sam replied.
"Am I the only one that notices she's been using new nicknames?" Freddie lifted his arms.
"What's your point, Fredapus?" She looked at him.
"Ugh, I'm going home." He said; that was the weakest thing Sam'd never seen Freddie do since they were younger, leave in the middle of a fight.
"Night." Carly called.
"Kay." He said back.
As soon as he was gone, the two girls surrounded Sam. "What happened?" Carly asked. "We didn't hear much shouting."
"Tell us everything!" Massie exclaimed. "How many Gossip Points is it worth?"
Sam raised an eyebrow. "Gossip Points?"
"Yeah, rate how juicy the story is with a number, and you score points. The PC and I did it all the time." Massie explained.
"Oh, well in that case, no." Sam spoke the last word in flat monotone. "Nothing really happened. We talked. He told me things he probably shouldn't trust me with, and then we came upstairs." Sam paused. "You have any Fat Cakes?"
"Sam! This is no time for Cakes of Fat. What's so secret that he shouldn't trust you with?" Carly laughed.
"Nah, can't tell. He's probably watching us right now." She mumbled, looking directly at the Pie Camera on the cabinet. Who would've thought it could be used? I guess they all thought it was so useless they didn't really think to stop and wonder.
"What? Tell us! Puh-lease!" Massie begged.
Sam sighed and shook her head. Her phone vibrated.
FREDDIE: Tell them. Its ok :)
SAM: Ok but U asked 4 it
"All right, Freddie put his Pie Camera in here and knows everything we're doing. As I suspected, he's been watching us this whole time." Sam breathed.
Carly raised an eyebrow. "Freddie? Is that true? You… you perv!" She fumed.
"Relax, Carls. He doesn't want to peep on you. He's just spying. Eavesdropping really." Sam slumped into a beanbag. "Did you buy some meat? I'm starving."
"Still!" Carly sounded at the verge of tears. "He has no right to be spying on us! He sees us everyday. And it's illegal isn't it? He could get arrested!"
"I guess we should assume Freddip got possessed by me then." Sam smiled pleasantly.
Massie giggled but hushed up when she saw the warning look on Carly's face. She was the alpha now, not Massie. And oh, Massie hated that. "This is serious! I don't want him to get arrested, but I kind of do, but I don't really!" Carly was always indecisive when she was upset.
"Fredturd!" Sam called. "You better stop spying or Carls'll call the cops!" Her phone vibrated.
FREDDIE: Coming over
SAM: Prepare to die. Ur perfect Carly wants Ur head. :)
FREDDIE: She isn't my perfect Carly
SAM: ?
FREDDIE: Man Ur slow
Sam put her phone away when she heard a knock on the door. "I'll get it." She stood up. And walked in slow-motion towards the door. She smirked and Freddie rolled his eyes. When she finally got there, she made a huge show of unlocking and opening the door.
"I hate you." He shook his head.
"Hey, I'm slow." She grinned and walked over to Carly. "Fredina would like to talk to you." (A/N: All right, how good am I with the Freddie names? :P)
"Oh would he?" Carly glared. For once in Sam's life, she was the only one that didn't hate Freddie.
"Carly, I'm sorry I-" Freddie started.
"Save it! I don't want your apology! Like I told Sam about kidnapping, it's illegal and rude! You shouldn't have done that! We should arrest you! We should-" Carly got cut off by Sam's groan.
"Is this how annoying it is when me and Fredward fight?" She complained. "You guys are good friends. No matter how big the fight is, you'll eventually make up. So just shut up and let me sleep!" Sam took a second to give the two a warning glance before lying back in the beanbag.
Massie smiled toward Sam; she was the true alpha in this situation. "My dorky tomboy sister is right." Massie smiled. "You guys get along so well, I'd say you were best friends."
Sam shot up. "Number one, I'm Carly's best friend, not Benson. Number two, did you really just call me dorky?" She glared at the little annoying preppy.
"Uh-huh." Massie smirked. "I said you were a dork, you have all that time to tease Freddie; you must have like no social life."
Freddie leaned in. "You might want to run; Sam isn't afraid to hurt family members." He whispered.
Massie looked at Sam who had her right fist clenched. "Call me a dork one more time. I dare you." She smiled.
Massie was always willing to take chances. "You're a dork. A dorky, tomboy, insane, violent LBR."
Sam smiled. "Well, you know what I think?" Sam pulled her fist back, preparing to make contact. Someone's arms grabbed hers. "Let go of me Frednerd! Let me at her!"
"Sam, no!" Carly said. "Run, Massie! Sam, calm down. Come on, breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out."
Sam followed the instructions as Massie crept her way to the door. "I'll get you, kid!" She snarled.
Freddie finally let go. "That wasn't very nice, Sam." He panted.
"You know my temper, Fredward. You know not to mess with me." Sam continued her breathing exercises.
"Yeah, but she doesn't." He said.
"Then I need to teach her." Sam growled. Freddie grabbed her shoulders and pushed her into a beanbag chair. Sam sighed and slunk in it yet again. "Damn I hate her. I save her life then my thanks is insults." She shook her head.
"You saved her life?" Carly asked.
"Eh, just beat up some high schoolers."
"Oh my god! What happened?" Carly's eyes widened.
"They wanted to… rape her… no big deal really. There were only three of them."
"Well, did you report them to Principal Franklin?" Freddie asked.
"And what? Get in trouble for violence again?" Sam shook his head.
"He would've believed you." Carly said.
"No he wouldn't." Sam sighed.
"Well, we're proud of you." Freddie smiled. "You did the right thing protecting her."
"Yeah, but seriously. I am starving. Can we get something at B.F. Wang's?" Sam whined.
'So typical Sam' Freddie laughed to himself. "Sure." Carly rolled her eyes.
"Yes!" Sam jumped up.
Massie locked herself in the bathroom and conference called the Pretty Committee. "Guys! I am in deep! My sister threatened to assault me! And she would've if Freddie hadn't held her back!" Massie cried. "And I have zero calls or texts from Gibby! And the show was over an hour ago!"
"Calm down, Mass." Alicia said in a soothing voice. "Take a deep breath and listen to us."
Dylan talked first. "Sam is very aggressive; I looked her bio up on the web. She loves to fight and will openly hurt anyone. I heard she kicked a teacher because she got an F on a paper that she never did. The teacher changed her grade to a B+ and is still afraid of Samantha Puckett. Teachers she hates include Miss Briggs and Mr. Howard."
"Who wrote her bio?" Kristen asked. From what she's heard about Sam, who would want to write about her?
"Some guy name Fredrick BC. That's the name on his profile. His username is tech-wizard." Dylan answered.
"Ehmagawd, it was Freddie!" Massie squealed. "He totally has a crush on her!"
"No way. They hate each other." Claire said, Massie could tell she was shaking her head.
"Trust me, if you could see them, you would believe."
"I think they would make a cute couple." Leesh was quick to agree.
"Puh-lease! They are complete opposites!" Dylan laughed.
"Opposites attract in magnetism." Kristen contradicted.
"Listen, I'll give you Sam's and Freddie's numbers. Alicia and Claire, text Sam messages like 'Isn't Freddie so hawt today?' Dyl and Kris, you take Freddie." Massie ordered. It felt good to be in charge again.
"What if she calls the cops?" Claire whisper-panicked.
"Puh-lease!" Dylan and Massie said at the same time.
"She's been arrested three times." Dylan explained. Massie knew she must be rolling her eyes. "If anything, she'd try to stay away from the po-po." The girls giggled.
"Fine, I'll do it…" Claire mumbled. Massie knew she must be biting her nails, doing anything to get IN with TPC.
"Perfect. Did you see me on iCarly?"
"Ehmagawd, yes! If that doesn't win back your beloved Gibby, he's not worth it." Kristen said. Massie wanted to suggest that he was, but would never stoop so low as to sound desperate in front of the PC. Nev-ah.
"Ah man! This is heaven!" Sam licked her lips, staring at the huge plate of sushi in front of her. She dug in.
"Slow down, pig." Freddie laughed.
"Dork."
"Jerk."
"Benson."
"Puckett."
They glared at each other for a minute. "Get your own sushi." Sam finally said. Freddie shrugged. Suddenly his phone vibrated.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Isn't Sam just so cute today?
FREDDIE: No
UNKNOWN NUMBER: But look at her. Check out all that can fit in her mouth.
FREDDIE: Perv.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: But isn't it so hot though? I know U think that.
FREDDIE: Who R U?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: No1
Dylan snickered as she typed.
FREDDIE: Bye
Freddie put his phone away. The girls were looking at him. "Come on, Fredwart, place your order." Sam said.
"Oh sorry about that… I'll have the Wangburger and a side of ham."
"Nice choice, Fredward. I admire your choice in food." Sam smiled. She could give him a bit of respect. Freddie was a little freaked out by the texts. Isn't Sam so cute today? She was pretty decent when she smiled. And any teenage guy would admit to enjoying the amount that she could fit in her mouth, no matter how much they try to hide their perverse nature.
"Thanks, Puckett. I learn from the best." That was meant to be a teasing insult.
Carly laughed. "You two are so funny. By the way, who was that, Freddie?"
Freddie shrugged. "I don't know. Someone must've found my number online."
"My bad." Sam shrugged.
"You put my phone number on the internet? The World Wide Web? Are you fucking insane?" Freddie shouted.
"Relax, I'm just kidding. Sheesh, you can't take a joke." Sam sipped at her Diet Mountain Fizz. Sam's phone beeped.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Doesn't Freddie look so hot?
SAM: Um, how do I put this bluntly? No.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Seriously though. The way he's so far away thinking deeply. What if he's thinking of U?
Alicia squealed as she typed. She was practically talking to a celebrity, which did nawt happen everyday. Not even if her father was a famous lawyer.
SAM: The only thing he better be thinking about me is, "Man, Sam is so scary. I better leave her alone and never be a dork in front of her ever again."
UNKNOWN NUMBER: What if he's thinking, "Sam is so hot, I just want 2 kiss her?"
SAM: I'd punch him in the gut.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: U R so funny. I know U really like him.
Sam paused and thought of what to say.
SAM: And what makes U an expert on me. U don't even know me!
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I have my witnesses. I have people who live there in Seattle, and they clue me in. Did U know Freddie wrote a bio about U?
SAM: No he didn't.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: /samantha+puckett=bio (A/N: don't click the link!)
SAM: I doubt it.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Check it out. Its so sweet
SAM: And I care… Y?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Bcuz U luuuuuuuuuuuuv him
SAM: Massie, seriously lose my # I don't want 2 talk 2 U
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I'm not Massie
SAM: Then who R U?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Buh-bye
Sam put her phone violently in her pocket. "Who was that, Sam?" Carly asked.
"Some creep." She shrugged.
"Probably the same person who text me." Freddie commented. Sam looked at him "Doesn't Freddie look so hot?" Sam chuckled to herself. Hot he was far from. If anything he was… cute. Nah, he was just nothing. Sam had to stop thinking about him.
Massie called Gibby on Sam's home phone, just so he wouldn't have her caller ID. "Hullo?" He answered.
"Gibby!" She said. "Did you watch iCarly tonight?"
"Yeah."
"Did you hear me sing?" She crossed her fingers.
"No." Gibby sounded so serious, but at least he was talking to her.
"Well… go to iCarly and watch tonight's show. I sang all for you."
"I gotta go." He said in a monotonic voice.
"Wait-" But the line was already dead. Massie started crying again. How could she have been so stupid? "Gibby…" She whispered.
There was a slumber party at the Shay's loft. "Can we play truth or dare?" Massie suggested.
"Isn't that like… a little girls' game?" Sam yawned.
Carly sympathized for Massie. "Come on, a small game won't hurt."
"Ugh… fine." Sam said.
Massie smiled. "Freddie! Truth or dare?"
Freddie shrugged. "I'm too tired to do anything so… truth."
"Have you ever kissed anyone?"
Sam stiffened in her beanbag. "Uh, didn't you see the iCarly where I openly told the world he didn't?" She said.
"Yeah, but since then. Have you?" Massie smiled at Freddie.
"Yes…" He mumbled.
"Really?" Carly asked. "Who?"
"A person. With a name which I will not speak." Freddie stuttered.
"Next." Sam was quick to change the subject.
"Come on Freddie! That's the whole point of the game!" Massie smiled.
Carly batted her eyes. "Come on, Freddie. Tell us. Please, for me?"
"It's not gonna work. I promised I wouldn't tell a soul." He mumbled.
"So this person, hates you?" Carly concluded. He shrugged. "Interesting." Her eyes shifted to Sam. "My turn." She smiled. "Sam truth or dare?"
"Dare." Sam mumbled, hoping for something dangerous, eager to get her mind off-
"I dare you to tell us who your first kiss was." Carly smiled.
"You know that guy… I dated… Pete." Sam was able to paste a fake blush on her face. "He kisses like a madman."
Carly raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought you said you kissed someone before Pete even moved to Seattle."
"No I didn't. I was still as kissless as Freddwarf is. Poor little girl." Sam smirked as realistic as she could.
Freddie frowned. "You know who kissed me? Shannon. Then I dumped some apple juice on her head, and she told me that we never kissed and no one could know about it. I had no problem with that."
"You dumped apple juice on Shannon's head!" Sam busted out laughing louder than she needed to. Carly and Massie stared at her. "What? I don't like people. The girl is insane." Sam lay back in her beanbag. "At least that's over with…" She thought to herself before dozing off to sleep.
Chapter six? is complete! Please review and tell me what you think! This is by far the longest fic I've written (for now!) Thanks for reading so much of a crossover… I feel nauseous. :(
