Chapter 16: Illumination

Edward POV

I drove to school this morning on a mission, to confront Bella and set things straight between us. I only let her go Saturday morning because I thought she just needed a little time to think, and she would call me later; but the call never came.

I tried calling her, she never answered.

Email, no reply.

Text, same deal.

The last straw had been when I had gone to her house to make sure that she was alright and she actually had Charlie try to tell me that she was sick. He was about as good of a liar as his daughter was, and he looked regretful for telling me this. I hadn't seen a lot of Charlie but I had to say that I really liked the guy. He was a good man and Bella resorting to this was the last straw for me.

Or so I thought.

When I heard the Mustang pull up, my eyes locked on her as she parked and stepped out. She met my gaze, so I knew she could not pretend that she hadn't seen me. But then she walked right by me as if I wasn't even standing there. Alice and Rosalie both tried calming me but she had already ignited the fire.

That did it for me. Ignore me all weekend; I can handle that. Walk by me like I don't even exist... this shit was getting dealt with right now.

I stormed my way toward her locker and when I saw her, my anger rose. I never imagined myself capable of ever having this much anger toward Bella; that anything she could have done would ever push me to this point. But she wasn't playing this game with me anymore. I let her have her way Friday night. I kept everything to myself and this is where it left us. She was going to listen to me this time.

When I made it to her side, I slammed her locker door closed as she was putting her books in her bag. Her head spun around to face me and her eyes widened, almost looking afraid. "We need to talk, Bella," I seethed, and as she again tried to ignore me, I pushed harder so she couldn't open her locker.

I saw her glance at me without moving her head, seemingly pleading with me not to make a scene. "Not now, Edward. Please," she asked softly and her eyes fell to the floor.

I felt my jaw tense and I shook my head. "Yes, Isabella. Now."

I took her arm-I'll admit somewhat roughly-and led her down the hall toward the back of the school. I seemed to be on autopilot, barely conscious of my footsteps on the linoleum floor. The rage coursing through me was somewhat frightening. Why was she doing this? Did she regret what we had done so much that she didn't even feel that we could be friends? I intended to have my say. If she was going to push me away anyway, then I might as well go down fighting. I would tell her everything I felt, everything I should have told her the day I got home. I could see that waiting had been a mistake.

A mistake I was about to rectify.

We reached the exit that led out to the football field, and I pushed the heavy steel and glass doors open, practically dragging Bella through them. I was aware of her mumbling something beside me. I caught a 'stupid' and a 'big oaf' in there, but I ignored her. Crossing the field, I led us up the path that led to the forest beyond. The air was cool and wet, but this couldn't wait. I had to say these things now and I didn't want any interruptions.

After several minutes of walking, and seemingly endless stumbles for Bella, we finally arrived at our destination; a small meadow in a clearing of the trees. Her mouth was slightly agape as she took it in and I released her arm, turning her to face me.

"What the hell is going on?" I almost yelled at her. Bella wouldn't meet my eyes and she kept her face down, focusing on the ground and working her bottom lip between her teeth. "You don't answer my calls, my emails, my texts? You had your dad lie and say you were sick? I don't understand, Bella." She didn't answer and I could feel the tension pulsing around us. "Bella, please. Talk to me."

Her eyes still flickered around me, never meeting mine but her teeth finally released her lip and she appeared to be ready to say something. "Edward, we're going to be late for class, can't we just talk about this later?" she stammered slightly with a nervous shake of her head. Her gaze finally came to me, pleading to let this go; but I folded my arms over my chest and stared intently at her. She sighed, dropping her bag on the ground and walking a few feet away, her back facing me and head tilted down.

I walked toward her, stopping right behind her. "No Bella, we need to talk about this now. This has already gone on long enough. I want to know why you have been ignoring me all weekend, and why you walked by me without a word this morning."

"I thought that would be pretty obvious, Edward," she started and my anger hit a new peak, but before I could utter a single word, she began again. "You are who you are and I knew that going in, but I really never intended things to go so far between us. I have no reason to expect anything more from you than any other girl does, and now I've ruined everything. I just…" her voice trailed off and she let out a shuttered breath.

What was she talking about? No reason to expect more from me than any other girl? My mind raced, trying to make sense of her words. Of course she was more to me; she knew that didn't she? Suddenly her words from Friday came back to me. "I know," she had said. She thought I was trying to tell her…but she couldn't think that. Didn't she know I loved her?

"Bella, what happened Friday was the most incredible moment of my life." I saw her look back down and shake her head.

"Edward. You don't have t-," she started.

"Yes I do. Just let me talk. Okay?" She let out a deep breath and I moved forward, placing my hand on her shoulder, letting her soft hair brush my fingertips.

"Making love to you," I spoke softly. "Was the sweetest, most intense thing I've ever experienced. You don't know how many times I dreamed about what we did. Touching you, you touching me... I've never felt that way before. But…I think there is some miscommunication. When you wouldn't let me say anything…I thought it was because you knew how I felt, and just weren't ready for me to say the words. If I knew…" I moved closer to her, my chest pressing against her back. It was time to say it.

She winced and shook her head. Her face turned ever so slightly enough that I could see the very edge of her profile and the tear that had escaped down her cheek. "Edward, you don't have to do this or say these things. I told you, you don't have to pretend for me. I just couldn't hear you say that you didn't... that Friday night was just..." She took a step away from me, removing my gentle hold on her shoulder and then finally turned around to face me. "I don't want to make this hard for you, Edward. When I came to see you, I told you the truth. That was exactly where I wanted to be. But when you said those things to me and you played me my song, and you were so sweet... I just wanted you so badly. I just wanted that one perfect night with you. I knew what I was doing and even though I might have messed things up between us... I could never regret or ever want to forget how you made me feel. But I don't want you to feel you have to protect me by saying things you don't mean."

"Alright, that's it," I snapped suddenly and moved toward her, taking her face gently between my hands. She wasn't going to stop me from saying what I needed to say, and what she needed to know this time. "It's my turn now. I have never and will never say anything to you that I don't mean with absolute sincerity. You know me better than that, Bella. Stop running away from me and listen. You could never be just another girl to me. I've had many girls in my bed and you know that, but you are the only one I ever made love to. It was never just about having your body, Bella. I wanted you.

"I don't... kiss normally during it all because that, to me, is far too intimate. And I always use protection. But all of this didn't apply to you because it wasn't about the sex, it was about us. You wouldn't let me tell you how I felt, so I tried to show you. With the song, with every kiss and every touch. Then waking up with you in my arms… I had never felt so happy. Ever. Just looking down and your face being the first thing I saw. Do you understand, Bella? I don't just want you for one night. I want you every night for the rest of my life," I said, watching her eyes tear up slightly but never looking away from me once.

We stood there for what seemed like several minutes until Bella closed her eyes, her forehead wrinkling slightly as if she were thinking hard about something.

"Edward." She opened her eyes and took a deep breath, but something was different. Her eyes were full with tears, but not tears of sadness. She looked up at me, and for the first time since waking up next to her, I felt hope "I was just so scared and I'm sorry for leaving the way I did. I know it must have hurt and I never want to do that. I wanted you to be my first, Edward. I've never felt this way about anyone and I could never give that to someone I didn't love."

A slow smile spread across my face, as the meaning of her words sunk in. I stroked her cheek gently with my thumb and leaned toward her slowly to brush a soft kiss against her lips.

And she didn't pull away.

Her lips actually leaned in for more as I gently pulled back to look at her. I took a breath as I prepared to speak, but she surprised me by bringing her hands up to my face and pressing her lips back to mine hungrily. Her body slid against me as her arms snaked around my neck, and she slowly raised herself up on her toes; as if she couldn't get close enough to me. Her kiss was passionate, moving her lips slowly against mine until she broke away and gazed into my eyes.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered. She closed her eyes as our foreheads rested against each other, nervously playing with the ends of my hair. I watched her swallow hard, almost as if bracing herself still.

"I knew you just wanted to beat me to the punch," I chuckled softly, trying to get her to relax some and she opened her eyes to look up at me. I kissed her gently again, sliding my arms around her waist and lifting her feet off the ground to bring her up eyelevel with me; breaking away to look at her seriously. "I love you, Bella. You're everything to me."

She seemed to study my face for several minutes, tracing her fingertips along my cheek and jaw. Her mouth twitched slightly into a tiny smile and then her lips met mine again passionately. At first, it was the same slow and testing movements she was making before, but she gradually melted into it and pulled herself against me as close as she could get.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," she whimpered against my lips, wrapping her legs around my waist as we stood in the middle of the meadow.

"Don't."

I captured her mouth again, our lips parting and our tongues gently caressing each other. My entire being soared again; there was no misinterpretation this time. She loved me but she was scared. Scared of being just another number to me, scared I didn't share the intense feelings on Friday and scared of rejection. But she took a chance with me today; put herself out there and trusted me. And standing here in the meadow with her, holding and kissing her, feeling everything I was feeling, I knew this was where I belonged. Here with her, in her arms, always.

Our kiss soon intensified and her hips ground against mine. I groaned as her action ignited arousal within me and I lowered one of my arms down around her hips and pressed back against her; eliciting a moan from her as well. Her hand almost timidly slid down my abdomen between us, and slowed as it came in contact with the growing bulge of my pants. I instantly hardened more under her touch and we groaned simultaneously. She pulled away from my lips and I was almost scared to open my eyes; afraid she was retreating again. The moment I did, I met her desire filled gaze and felt her hand gently squeeze my erection through my jeans. Although she was still somewhat timid, passion and lust soon overshadowed everything. "Will you make love to me again, Edward?"

Hearing her say those words to me sent a thrill of excitement up my spine and I captured her lips again. I wanted to... God, how I wanted to.

"Yes," I replied breathily in between kisses. "But not now, Bella. Not here. It's too cold for you."

She pulled away, running her nails through the hair on the side of my head and a small smirk appeared on her face. "My dad's at work all day," she replied somewhat wickedly, biting her lip in such an irresistibly cute way... she was the lethal combination of sweet and conniving and I loved every moment of it.

I loosened my hold on her slightly to slide back down my body and walked with her to retrieve her bag. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as we began to walk, kissing her hair firmly as we did. She hugged herself against my side, peppering occasional kisses on my chest as we made our way out of the woods and back to the school parking lot.

I tried to move toward my car, but she held tight to me. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked and I silently gestured with my hand to my car. She shook her head and smirked, reaching into her jacket pocket and holding out her keys. "I'll even let you drive her and everything.

We pulled up to Bella's house and I was more than relieved to note the absence of the Chief's cruiser in the driveway. A glance down at my car stereo showed it was only 9:15. We had the whole day to spend alone together and I almost chuckled in anticipation. We had spent the entire drive smiling, exchanging knowing glances and stealing the occasional kiss. At every light or stop sign, I would lean over and quickly, or at times not so quickly, and place a kiss somewhere on her adorable face and I was rewarded with huge smiles and laughter; even the occasional squeal. I was acting like a lovesick fool, and I didn't care. I couldn't stop myself and I leaned over the center console, once again claiming Bella's lips in a passionate kiss. Being with her in this way felt so natural and I knew I would never tire of it. Her hands came up to my face sweetly and I felt her smile against my lips. She was just as happy as I was, and my heart swelled with love for this amazing girl.

Before we got too carried away, I broke the kiss and rushed around the side of the car, opening her door and helping her out. Bella surprised me by standing up on her toes, wrapping her arms around my waist and kissing me softly. She pulled back slowly and while looking in my eyes whispered, "I love you, Edward."

I closed my eyes, overcome with powerful elation at her words. Then I smiled down at her, "Say it again."

She placed her hands on my face, her eyes meeting mine and smiled back. "I love you, Edward."

I had dreamed of hearing her say those words for so long, and they were more beautiful than I had ever imagined. She loved me, and my entire world was perfect in that moment. Pulling her to me, I lightly brushed her lips with mine.

"I love you," she said again, leaning in and kissing me slightly longer this time. "I love you." Again, she pressed her lips to mine, giggling. "I love you."

This time, I didn't let her pull away. I deepened the embrace, holding her lips to mine; both of us still smiling. She began to push us towards the house, not breaking the kiss, even as I stumbled up the front step. Bella reached for the key and unlocked the door, never losing contact with my lips. Somehow, we managed to get inside and close the door behind us.

Our kiss was soft and playful, filled with the same love and passion we felt Friday night.

"I love you, baby," I whispered, brushing my lips against her soft skin. "I've loved you for so long." I closed my eyes, letting my forehead rest against hers. "Bella? I'm going to ask you something silly, and you have to promise not to laugh at me. Okay?"

"Okay," she sighed happily. "No laughing. Scouts honor."

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

It sounded even dumber than I thought and I found myself chuckling at the absurdity of the situation. We had just professed our love to each other and here I was asking if she would be my girlfriend. But even with the things we had said, I still wanted to make it clear. To her, to me, to everyone that this woman was mine.

No miscommunication.

Bella bit her lip to keep herself from chuckling but when she looked up into my eyes, all of the joking was gone. "There's nothing I want more. I would love to be your girlfriend, Edward."

She took my hand and led me up the stairs. I'm sure if I could have seen my face, I would have laughed out loud. I was grinning like an idiot as we walked into her bedroom.

She turned to me with a devilish smirk on her face. "Now, wasn't there something you said you were going to do to me?"

I felt my heart begin to pound and I became hard instantly. Pulling her to me, I placed my hands on each side of her face and kissed her, her fingers tangling in my hair and a groan escaping her lips. Our tongues glided against each other as I deepened the kiss and she ran her hands down my neck, slowly pushing my jacket off my shoulders until it landed on the floor near my feet. I moved my lips from Bella's mouth and slowly made my way down her neck. My breath caught as she ran her fingertips down my chest and stomach, slipping them under the hem of my shirt and I groaned into her mouth.

"I can't wait to feel you, Bella," I said softly into her ear, placing tiny kisses as I spoke. "I can't stop thinking about how you felt. About how perfectly our bodies fit together, like you were made only for me."

She moaned my name as my mouth moved lower, across her collarbone and over her shirt to her breast. Ever so gently, I skimmed the palm of my hand against her, eliciting a moan from each of us as her nipple hardened under my touch. Opening my mouth, I took the hard point inside, gently sucking on it through her shirt. Her head fell back and with her fingers in my hair, she pulled me to her; as if I couldn't get close enough for her. I lavished the same attention on her other breast and slid my hands down to the hem of her shirt.

"This has to go," I said, desire apparent in my voice. I pulled her shirt up over her head, tossing it somewhere behind me.

"Beautiful," I mumbled into the soft skin between her breasts.

"Then so does this," she said back.

She met my eyes, her bottom lip between her teeth and slowly repeated my movement, throwing my shirt to the floor. God she was sexy. I pulled her back into me, pressing my painfully hard erection against her.

"God…I love you, Edward." It came out as a groan and I felt her push her hips into me.

"I love you too, baby," I moaned into her open mouth. Fisting my hands into her beautiful hair, I kissed her harder. Soft sounds escaped from each of us and broke the silence of the empty house. With the lightest touch, my fingertips drifted down the back of her neck, along her spine and to the clasp of her bra. Once unhooked, I let my fingers wander along the edge, around her ribs; pulling it with me as I went. Goose bumps erupted on every inch of skin I passed and I let the straps fall from her shoulders, baring her delicious breasts to me. They were even more perfect than I remembered. Her nipples brushed against my chest, sending electricity through my body. My skin was on fire and I wanted to feel our bodies pressed fully together, nothing between us.

I walked us towards the bed and gently pushed Bella down; our kisses were deep and lingering. She ran her hands along my chest and down to the waist of my pants. I smiled against her lips as her trembling hands struggled with the button.

"Don't tease," she pouted against my kiss, finally managing to undo my pants and pushing them down with her feet, leaving me only in my boxers. "There happens to be a beautiful man here who has me all flustered."

"Oh really?" I chuckled, crawling down her neck slowly and leaving a trail of wet kisses. "Well you better hope I don't find him. You're mine, and I'm not sharing."

She giggled softly in response, but took a sudden intake of breath as my tongue encircled her nipple and my lips closed around it. Her hands tightened in my hair and she arched her back slightly to press her breast more firmly against my mouth, eliciting a deep moan from me.

"Baby, do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" I asked, my words muffled by her breasts.

"And do you have any idea how much I love it when you call me baby?" she groaned. Just to emphasize her point, she thrust her hips up against my arousal and let out a long sound that could only be considered a growl.

"Oh you do?" I asked again. "Well, I'm glad because that's what you are to me. I love you more than anything in this entire world and I'd do anything to keep you safe. You're my baby. Only mine."

"Only yours," she sighed, gazing at me with the sweetest expression on her face. Just hearing those words from her set off a primal instinct I hadn't even known I possessed. She was mine. The words fueled my lust and my mouth worked its way lower to the waistband of her jeans. I slid my tongue back and forth along the denim edge and moving my fingers slowly toward the button, causing her stomach muscles to tighten and a gasp to escape her mouth. I lowered the zipper and watched as her hips rose slightly off the mattress, seeking out my touch. I pulled her jeans and panties from her body in one movement, running my hands back up her creamy, soft skin. Her legs spread before me and it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. I kissed my way up her thighs, moving slowly towards her center. Sensing what I wanted to do, Bella placed her hand on my hair.

"Edward no. I-..." she started but I halted her by placing my finger over her lips gently.

"Baby, it's okay. If you don't want me to, I won't. I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable," I whispered sincerely.

"It's just that…I've never…and what if…and you don't have…" she said timidly, her cheeks blazing crimson. She was embarrassed and I was an ass because I thought it was adorable. I would never rush her, of course, or ask her to do anything she was against, but something told me it was more the fear of the unknown than anything, that was holding her back. I knew she would enjoy it and I wanted more than anything to please her.

I moved up to the side of her body, my fingers delicately tracing her nipples. "Bella, baby," I said softly, looking in her eyes, "I just want to make you feel good. And I want to taste you more than anything but I won't if you ask me not to. Do you think you'd like to try?"

Her breath caught and I felt her nipples tighten. I hoped I wasn't pushing her into this, but it didn't seem as if I was. She just needed to get past feeling as if she were doing something wrong. My fingers moved down between her breasts, over her navel and traced her clit lightly as Bella's eyes danced over my features. I could see it so clearly written all over her face how innocent she still was in so many ways. Her hips began to move against my hand, seemingly craving my touch. Our eyes met and still chewing on her lip, she blushed and nodded. A huge smile crossed my face and I leaned in to kiss her, sucking on her lip as my fingers moved even lower to her entrance.

"God you're so wet, baby," I moaned into her mouth and I gently plunged my finger inside of her.

"Edward," she gasped, throwing her head back into the pillow and exposing her neck to me. I kissed along her cheek to her ear, moving slowly down to her breasts. Taking one pink nipple into my mouth, I teased it with my teeth and earned a long moan from her. Her hands clung to my hair and pushed my head to her other breast and I treated it with as much affection. Slowly I made my way down her stomach, tracing tiny circles with my tongue.

When I reached her center, I felt her stiffen slightly and I looked up at her.

"If you don't like it and want me to stop, just say so. Okay?"

She nodded once, and I placed a soft kiss on the apex of her hip. Gently I ran my tongue along her and when she seemed more relaxed, I lightly flicked her clit with my tongue. She moaned loudly and her hips pushed up against my face, forcing my tongue more firmly against her.

"Easy baby," I said soothingly and used one hand to lift her leg over my shoulder. Slowly, I worked my way up and down and I moaned as the taste of her filled my mouth. The vibrations caused Bella to thrust up again and she began rocking her hips up to meet my mouth, one of her hands running through my hair. I glanced up to find her eyes closed, her head thrown back and her free hand gripping onto the headboard. It was the hottest thing I had ever seen and my mind suddenly filled with another use for that headboard. I could feel myself throbbing at the thought, and I prayed I would be able to make this last for her. Bella began to pant, her head tossing back and forth and her long hair spread out on the pillows. I could tell she was close and I groaned into her. Seeing her like this was fucking killing me.

"Fuck…Edward!" she screamed and I felt her clench around my fingers. I kissed my way back up her body as she tried to catch her breath.

"Bella you naughty girl, you just swore at me," I teased her brushed my lips teasingly over her earlobe. She blushed and placed her hand over her face, giggling. "Hey don't be embarrassed. That was by far the fucking sexiest thing I've ever seen. And I'm not done with you yet." I wiggled my eyebrows and nuzzled her hair, causing Bella to groan and pulled me to her mouth. She sucked on my bottom lip and let her teeth drag as she released it, sending pleasure straight to my erection.

"God, baby." I gasped. "You're driving me crazy, Bella."

"Edward, I want to feel you inside me. I've missed you so much. Please," she moaned into my mouth, panting as her hands moved to the waist of my boxers and began pushing them over my hips.

"Come here, baby," I whispered softly against her lips, sliding my hands under her shoulder blades and pulling us up to kneel on the bed. I removed my boxers the rest of the way as I kissed her gently. "Turn around, Bella."

She gave me a slightly timid look, but eventually complied. I kissed across her shoulder as my hands ran down her arms until my palms covered her hands and I laced our fingers together. I brought them up to the top of the headboard, pressing my body flush against her back and my arousal teasing her between her legs. I kissed up her neck to her ear, drawing a beautiful melody of soft sighs and gentle moans from my sweet Bella. Her body was relaxing, not nearly as rigid and I positioned myself at her entrance.

"I love you... baby," I whispered in her ear, watching the side of her mouth twitch upward slightly until her mouth fell open as I slowly slid inside her. I wanted to take our time and enjoy every moment of this, even more than Friday night. It wouldn't be nearly as excruciating for her and once her body adjusted to me, she would be fine. But God, she was tight around me; like a glove. She sheathed me so perfectly that when I was finally all the way inside of her, we both let out a simultaneous groan of pleasure. I released her hands and wrapped my arms around her body as I began to move inside her, kissing the back of her neck where her hair had fallen aside.

"Edward... ungh..." Bella moaned in a beautiful guttural moan as I began rolling my hips against her, driving myself deeper inside her. I could feel that something was awakening in her, something so natural and primal. I could see and feel Bella's love for me in every look and touch since the meadow, but now I saw something just as amazing. Her lust for me, her body's longing for mine. "God... mmm..."

I watched her biting her lip and pinching her eyes closed, trying to keep quiet. "Baby, there's no one here. I want to hear you. Don't be afraid to tell me what you want," I whispered huskily in her ear and saw her hands tighten on the headboard as I continued thrusting inside her. "You're safe with me, Bella."

Again, she seemed to relax and leaned her head back on my shoulder, as her lip slid out from between her lips. "More... I want... more..." she panted breathily arching her back slightly and shifting her hips slightly so I drove deeper still inside of her. "Oh yes... Touch me, baby... please..."

This drove me absolutely insane and deliciously so. My Bella was so instinctively sexual once allowed to break free. My hand slid down her abdomen and in between her legs, my fingertips lightly teasing her clit.

"Like this, Bella?"

She whimpered softly and nodded, moving her hips more; both to feel me drive deeper inside her and to give herself over to the pleasure and pressure of my fingertips. She wanted release and it made me smile. I pressed a little more firmly and rubbed briskly against her.

"Or this."

"God Edward, fuck!" she screamed, her head flying back again as her body began trembling in erotic ecstasy and she clenched around me tightly.

"Bella..." I growled as she shoved me over the edge and I erupted into the most intense orgasm I'd ever had, my hips jerking roughly against hers.

My hands ran over her abdomen and breasts gently as she still clung to the headboard, catching her breath. I moved my body away from hers and lay down on the bed beside her and she crumpled against my side, draping her leg over mine and kissing my chest. We lay there silently, watching our hands come together and intertwine again. Then she looked up at me and I leaned down to kiss her gently, watching her smile grow.

"Mine," she whispered, gazing into my eyes lovingly.

"Only yours," I repeated her words from earlier and captured her lips again in a tender kiss.