Hey guys!! I'm so sorry this build up is taking so long and I fully intended to start my Jim whumpage in this chapter but I felt the mental anxiety needed to be stressed just a bit more. I wanted to make it as realistic as possible so I hope no one minds if this chapter doesn't have much drama or angst just yet O.o Mental angst galore though!! Also, I wanted him to have a bit more interaction with some of the crew members. Alot more of that to come as well!! Hope you like it!! :D
The academy halls felt constricting, overbearing and closing in all around him at every turn. Every hallway offered a hiding place, every cadet appeared to be an enemy, the air felt heavy and hard to breathe. Jim Kirk was on edge, his back tense as he walked. He kept his head held high, darkened eyes trained forward as he carefully navigated his way through the twisting and turning corridors of the academy. He was here…He'd found him…After ten years, the man he'd struggled everyday to rid from his nightmares was back in the flesh…Jim felt physically sick just thinking about it, a heavy weight forming in the pit of his stomach as he rounded another corner and walked straight into Sulu.
"Whoa, sorry about that Captain." The lieutenant laughed, stepping back as Jim stumbled into the wall.
"Christ Sulu…" Jim breathed, closing his eyes and squeezing the bridge of his nose tightly. "I'm going to put a bell around your neck, I swear…" The younger man looked visibly shaken and he took several deep breaths in order to calm himself.
Sulu's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked Jim up and down carefully. "I'm sorry…" He began hesitantly, concern lingering on the edge of his voice as he spoke. "Are you alright?"
Jim seemed confused for a second, his eyebrows knitting together a little. Then, recovering almost as quickly, he smiled and nodded. "Yeah, sorry. You just surprised me is all. I had a million things going on in my mind at one time; Captain's responsibilities, you know?" He smirked and patted the other man on the shoulder. "Nothing to worry about." Without waiting for Sulu to question him more, he turned down a different hallway and disappeared behind a set of revolving doors.
After a quick scan of the room, making sure that no other members of his crew were there to witness his miniature anxiety attack, Jim leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. "God…get it together, Kirk…" He muttered to himself, forcing himself to breathe evenly and push away the nagging coldness that had seeped into his veins. It figured Frank would show up now, after everything had been going well for once. Frank had been quite possibly the worst thing that happened to his family since his father died, an event Jim didn't even remember. Frank was ruthless, dangerous, and worst of all he was here at the academy. He knew Jim was here. Oh, this was soo bad…
Pushing himself off the wall once more, Jim made his way back to his room. He needed somewhere safe, somewhere familiar. The hallway stretched on before him but this one didn't feel quite as foreboding as the others; this one felt like home. He swiped his ID card through the slot next to the door and waited for the lock to slide open. After about two seconds too long, the lock opened with a low hum of turning gears and wires. Jim pushed the door open and stepped into the small room he and Bones shared. The room was spotless on Bones' side, all of the clothes and books put away in a neat and orderly fashion. Jim's side on the other hand was a wreck. Clean and dirty clothes mixed together on the floor and the desk on his side of the room was cluttered with papers and logs from past and current missions. The closet door was partially open, various articles of clothing sticking out in odd angles from being hung up in a hurry. The bathroom door was closed and the sound of a shower running could be heard from behind the door,
Jim let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and sank onto his unmade bed, running a hand through his hair absently. His sleeve slipped just enough to show off the tip of a jagged scar that traveled the length of his forearm, wrist to elbow. He stopped, pulling the edge of his sleeve back a little further so he could see the scar clearly. It was deep and old, ten years at least, and the scar tissue was thick and raised along the boney ridge of his arm. Jim ran his fingers up the length of the scar, unwanted memories returning with the trace. Broken wood…muffled cries for help…blood gushing from various wounds at an alarming rate…There were plenty of scars to chose from if given the option. Long and short, shallow and deep, straight and jagged; the patchwork scrawled all over his body, a physical map of all the times he hadn't managed to dodge quick enough. Jim closed his eyes again, fighting back the bile rising in his throat.
A few more minutes passed and the shower shut off, replaced by a heavy silence that filled the room. It was nearly to the point where Jim couldn't take it anymore when the whistling began. Despite his current concerns, Jim found himself smiling faintly, his breath leaving in a long tired, sigh. Bones whistled in the shower; no one knew but Jim and if anyone else were to ever figure that out…well, being best friends with a doctor could be hazardous to one's health given the right circumstances. The whistling continued for a few minutes, the sink turning on and off behind the door.
The older man emerged from the bathroom room a few minutes later, dressed in a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt. It was odd to see anyone from the academy out of their typical uniform but civilian clothes were allowed in the rooms for down time. "Hey…" Bones said by way of greeting, ruffling a towel through his still damp hair. "When did you get here?"
"Uh…just now. I just sat down actually." Jim smiled brightly, rolling his shoulders back and forcing himself to sit a little straighter. He pulled his shirt sleeve down nonchalantly, pretending to have been adjusting his sleeves. The last thing he wanted to do was explain the scar. Lying usually worked when it was noticed and he had to talk about it but right now, given the situation, he would be perfectly fine forgetting the incident that had led to the injury. "Going somewhere?" He asked, smiling casually and relaxing his shoulders against the wall.
Bones, however, wasn't fooled. He leveled his gaze at Jim for a minute, debating on what to say first. Jim looked tired, the same way he did on the way back to Starfleet, but more than anything he looked uncomfortable. He kept unconsciously glancing to the door, one foot bouncing by the side of his bed; a nervous habit Jim had developed over the years. Something was wrong. "How did the Review Board go?"
"Uh…good. Great actually. McNeil was there…he's in a wheelchair." Jim cursed himself mentally. He was rambling uselessly now; an automatic red flag for Bones.
The older man's eyes narrowed a little more and he frowned. "You okay?"
"Yes."
"Liar."
Jim sighed and shrugged, knowing his attempt to throw off suspicion was going down in flames. "Just tired…long day, you know? I'm fine, really." He smiled again, praying to any God that happened to be listening that the lie would work and Bones would drop it. Truth be told, he was anything but fine. In fact, fine was the total opposite of how he felt. He felt caged and restless.
Bones clearly didn't believe him but he let it go with a shrug and tossed the used towel into a hamper on his side of the room. "Some of us were going out for drinks tonight." He started, answering Jim's previous question and turning to him. "Feel like coming?"
Jim hesitated for a second before he shook his head. There was up side and a down side to going to a bar right now. The up side: plenty of people; the down side: Frank was still somewhere on the academy grounds. In this case, bad outweighed good. The less people who found out about his ex-step-father, the better. "No, its okay. I have plans already tonight…" It was a lie but he didn't care.
"Oh yeah? Who is she?" Bones asked, smirking slightly as he spoke. He was trying to get a rise out of the younger man, hoping the usual banter about Jim's many one-night stands would loosen him up. However, Jim just smiled and shook his head slowly.
"No one, Bones. I just have something else I need to do…"
"Good God man, you could at least give the poor girl a name."
This did get a small laugh from Jim and Bones smiled in return. Jim may live to make his life a new kind of fresh hell everyday but he hated seeing the younger man upset. He walked over and patted Jim on the shoulder before digging out a pair of shoes from the tiny closet they shared. "Well, if you change your mind let me know." He offered, slipping on the shoes and then pulling on a worn leather jacket over the t-shirt he wore. Jim had never taken Bones to be someone who wore leather so the first time he ever saw the jacket he nearly burst out laughing. It fit him well though so Jim didn't have much to say after that.
The younger man nodded and smiled again. "Will do. Go have fun." For a horrifying second, Bones hesitated at the door as if he were going to round back at Jim and bombard him with one of his patented rant/questionnaires but he didn't, he just looked him up and down carefully. Damn doctor's instinct…
"Alright…" He sighed, still not completely satisfied with Jim's answer but letting it go for the moment. "Have a good night." And with that the door closed and Jim was left alone in the room.
A few minutes passed in silence before he was able to move. "This is crazy…I'm hiding in my room like a little kid…" Jim muttered to himself, pacing the room in long strides. He wanted out, wanted to forget the encounter had ever happened, but that didn't appear to be an option anytime soon. He walked to the door, back to the closet, back to the door, looked out the window, back to the door. Jim let out a frustrated sigh and scrubbed at his face with his hands. "Ugh…Goddamn you, Frank…"
Just then, there was soft chirp from the computer hanging in the middle of the wall above their beds. It acted as an all in one alarm clock, telephone, email account, and announcement center for the academy. Every room had one but the individual personal accounts were not given out to the public. Usually, the only messages ever received through the computer system were from the campus's main browser, an easily recognizable feed. However, at the bottom of the screen in green letters, the word '1 new message' gleamed bright and clear, the words 'unknown account' flashing next to it. Quirking an eyebrow, Jim walked over to the monitor and carefully touched the screen, opening the message.
The message was simple and straightforward and Jim felt his stomach drop again. 'We need to talk, Jim. Maverick's; 7:30.' Even the written words held a certain coldness that projected clearly through the virtual inbox. Well, looks like I have plans tonight after all…
Yay, a meeting Jim really shouldn't go to!! But he will because he's a badass and becuase I promised you all some good old fashioned Jim beat down. I'm such a sick person...O.o Hope you liked it!!
