"Naruto, you can't kill them yet," Jiriaya told him. "They have information."
"We can get it from others," Naruto replied.
"Only a fool would take that chance."
"Only a fool would let them live." His Kage Keiri was still against the web holding the boulder.
"Five minutes, that is all I ask."
"Five minutes for S rank missing ninja to possibly escape."
"Naruto, give me a chance."
"...No. If they must be questioned, we will do it." He dropped down, shooting more webbing at them. Their hands and feet were bound and Itachi had his Sharigan covered. Naruto stood between them. "Rule one. We ask the question, you answer the question. We like the answer, you like the result. We don't like the answer, you don't like the result. So, save us the time and trouble. Who is your leader?"
"Screw you, brat!"
"...Itachi, what you are about to hear is why you will not like the result." Naruto formed a kunai in his and and stabbed it into Kisame's arm. He just scoffed at it before he began gritting his teeth and let out a howl of pain. "Kisame, what you feel, is a thousand, hair thin needles being shoved through your body. While there is no real damage, it obviously hurts like a bitch. Rule two. You answer the question and we don't like it, you are the one punished. Neither of you answer the question, you both are punished. Itachi, who is your leader?"
"...Uchiha Madara."
"See, was that so hard? Now Kisame, tell me about this Uchiha."
"I don't know him." Naruto frowned under his mask and raise his kunai again. "I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!"
"He is," Itachi said. "Madara is using the leader he knows as a pawn to get what he wants."
"Then you answer the question."
"He is one of the founding members of Konoha. He is still alive because he achieved what is known as the Eternal Mangekyo Sharigan. With unlimited power, it gave him immortality. He was the one that killed most of the Uchiha that night."
"Good. What does he want?"
"To turn each of the Bijuu into his tools. His Sharigan can control them. And with that..."
"He could take over the world. Who are your targets?"
Kisame swallowed, "Of the Bijuu, four are wild, five are in host like you. Well, not like you, that is for sure."
"And which are which?"
"The One Tails is in a boy from Suna named Gaara. The Two Tails resides in a Kumo nin named Nii Yugito. The Four Tails lives in an old man named Roushi. The Eight Tails is in the brother of the Raikage, Bii Kiraa, a.k.a. Killer Bee," Itachi told him.
"You are being very cooperative."
"I want Madara dead," he told him. "I believe the person that has a better chance at that than me should know what he is up against."
Naruto nodded. "So the other four would be the Three, the Five, Six, and Seven. Where is Roushi?"
"East Fire Country," Kisame said, sounding defeated.
"And who are you companions and which are they after."
"We are after you and Roushi," Kisame replied. "Deidara, explosives expert, and Sasori, puppet master able to use more than a hundred at once, are after the One and the Three. Kakuzu, able to use all five elements and has to die five times before actually dying, and Hidan, immortal and priest, are after the two and the five tails.
"The leader that I know is Pain, a man with six bodies and the Rinnegan Eye. His partner is Kohan, the only woman and is able to control paper. Orochimaru was a member, I don't know where he is now. And the last is Zetsu. You can't miss what he looks like. He is black on his left side and white on the other. A Venus fly trap covers most of his body."
"Where are they?"
"Amegakure," Itachi answered. "Pain killed the old Kage there to take the position. Naruto, can you kill Orochimaru..."
Naruto put a foot on his chest and pressed down, stopping him. "We ask the question, you answer the question. But, for your peace of mind, we have already killed Orochimaru."
Kisame gaped at him. "No wonder he beat us so fast. Even if he was the weakest of us."
"Now, we have one final question. Do you want to die by falling to your death or by the sword," Naruto took their headbands and tied the around his left arm.
"...You're a cold person," Itachi stated. "What happened?"
"We are working," Naruto supplied. "Falling or beheading. Those are the options. Nothing dramatic, nothing flashy, no going out with a bang, there is no help coming for you, and Jiriaya will not interfere this time."
"...I am a swordsman," Kisame stated. "Live by the sword..." He jerked when he felt something cold push in his chest and out his back.
"...Die by the sword," Naruto finished. "Your debt is paid, Hoshigaki Kisame. May you find peace in the afterlife."
He coughed up blood. "What...about my sword?"
"It goes to Zabuza," Naruto stated.
"Nah... That won't...do. You keep it brat. You killed me so...it is your's anyway."
Naruto nodded. "Itachi?" He remained silent. "We will decide for you."
"...No Uchiha may leave a body," Itachi stated. "Your offer of death by the sword is kind. But one I can't accept. Besides," he smirked a little, "I always wanted to fly. I doubt I'm going somewhere that I can."
Naruto nodded, shot a web up at the boulder. "Naruto," Jiriaya called. "What are you doing?"
"Your debt is paid, Uchiha Itachi," Naruto said as he pulled. He removed the web from his eyes and got out of the way.
"Naruto, Pain was once Jiriaya's student," Itachi said before the boulder dropped pass him, tearing the webs apart and dropping him down. Naruto stood on the wall, the body of Kisame on his shoulder. He watched Itachi until he could no longer see him. He then climbed back up.
"We could have questioned them!"
"We did," Naruto replied.
"You think it is that easy!? Just ask some questions and they talk!"
"Itachi wanted to die," Naruto told him. "He never forgave himself for having to kill his family. But he didn't want Akatsuki to win or what he knew to die with him." Naruto removed a scroll and sealed Kisame inside it. He then walked over to the blade that was embedded into the ground. Naruto reached out for it for a moment but hesitated. He knew the most out of any Konoha ninja about the Seven Swordsmen because of Haku. They were like family to her. And him now, he guessed. So he knew this sword had a temperament. "Kisame said you are ours now. What do you say?" He grasped the handle and removed it from the ground. It was heavier and longer than the Kage Keiri. It would take time to get used to it. He gave it an experimental swing, finding he was strong enough to wield it in one hand like the Keiri. He swung it around and crossed it over the Kage Keiri on his back.
"Itachi told us about Akatsuki and what they want. We'll explain as we walk."
—oo000oo—
Jiriaya did not like it but he admitted he would have been able to get little else of use from them. Though he was greatly surprised by Itachi's last words. None of his apprentices were still alive. The only one that might even come close to being one was the boy next to him. "...Jiriaya-sama, wait a minute." Venom walked into the bushes and came out a minute later. He was wearing black shinobi pants, black boots, a sleeveless black shirt, white bandages around the lower portion of his face and neck, his hands were still covered by his black and white gloves, and his chunin flak jacket, with the spider covering it and the hood. Still attached to his back was the Samehada and his headband was tied to his forehead at an angel. "Like this, we are Naruto." He brushed the two headbands on his arm.
Jiriaya smiled. The reason that no one knew who the ANBU were was because they often carried on their lives as who they were, the rank they were. He before him was the chunin Uzumaki Naruto, the Black Spider of Konoha. "What changed your mind?"
"Though we hate to admit it, we were just shouting that we were the same person. Far too many things that are unique to us."
"And the Kage Keiri?"
"We can get it back as we need, this we can't." He got back on the path and started walking. "You really should learn to web sling, Ero-sennin. It is much faster."
"I don't have a bloodline that makes me into a spider," Jiriaya countered.
Naruto nodded, "...Just to let you know, should you fail to bring her back for whatever reason you are being sent for, I am ordered to take her back to Konoha to pay back her debts to the 'Rosenberg Casino'."
He began to laugh. "The old man order you to? Kiddo, he wants to retire again. And Tsunade is the one for it. I am to try and convince her to agree. Seems he either doesn't believe in me or wants a plan B."
"Doesn't matter to us," Naruto told him. "Just so long as she returns. Although it will to her. Should we be forced to take her back, we must report that we have her." He smirked under his bandages. "She would do well to come willingly. We have seen how much she owes. It would empty our bank account left to us by our parents."
Jiriaya shook his head. "Do you honestly think you can fight and beat one of the Sannin?"
"Funny things about ranks. They only tell you information if that is the one they deserve. You still see us as that genin, don't you?"
"...You might have a point. Well, for the sake of the peace and quiet of Konoha, let us hope I can convince her." They entered the gambling town and Naruto took a look around. He memorize the picture of the woman he was hunting. His mission was to start when Jiriaya exhausted all possible ways to get her to join. And he knew he would be in some of them.
He twisted to the side while he wasn't looking as a drunk about stumbled into him. He looked at her and almost couldn't believe his luck. "Long night," he asked her. She was gripping her forehead and had a finger to her lips, trying to silence him. "Problem?"
"Yes, you won't shut up."
"Here, let me help you," he said, offering his hand to help her stand. "Our name is Naruto."
"That name sounds familiar...where have I heard it?"
"We can't imagine where. We would remember if we met a woman as beautiful as you before."
Tsunade stood up and got a good look at him. "Shouldn't you still be at home with your mom?"
"If we had one, we could answer that. Come on, let's get you something for that hangover." He led her to a restaurant and asked for a mixed drink that he knew would help. "Just don't ask what is in it." Tsunade took it and gave a sour look when she smelled it. "Think of it like this, it can't hurt worst than your hangover."
"That's no lie," she said. She drank it all and slammed the glass back down. "God that was awful!" Naruto reached for the glass, letting a tendril of venom slip onto her when he brushed her hand. "Give it a few minutes though." Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell forward. It really did work, or so he was told.
Fifteen minutes later, Tsunade began to stir and Naruto pushed a cup of coffee to her. "How do you feel?"
"Better," she said, grabbing it. "Who are you again?"
"Naruto."
"Thanks," she said before drinking the coffee. "Now where is Shizune?"
"We don't know who you are talking about. So, you are our godmother?"
She snapped her head to him and took another look at his face. "...Excuse me?"
"We are Uzumaki Naruto, the son of Minato and Kushina. Sarutobi told us the truth when we were promoted."
She dropped her jaw, "Naruto...?" She smiled and reached across the table for him. She wrapped him in a hug and brought him to her chest. "I am so glad to see you! I though you were dead! Let me look at you!" She held him at arm's length. "You've gotten big! And you have your father's eyes! Take those off, let me look at you!"
Naruto pulled them down. "You accepted that awful fast."
"Because I knew from your heartbeat you were not lying." She just kept smiling. "You look so handsome, you probably have to beat the girls off with a stick."
"Just two," Naruto replied with a grin on his faces. "And as for hearing my name, have you heard of the Black Spider of Konoha?"
"Yes, supposedly, he is nearly unstoppable. No one can touch him. Why... You!?"
Naruto nodded. "We're here with Jiriaya. Although he is probably at the hot springs peeping."
She scowled. "Didn't he learn when I broke every bone in his body!?" She stormed out and Naruto flipped a coin to the man to pay for it before following her. She was out of his sight but he wasn't worried. He would find again when...
"IEEEE!" Naruto grinned as he pulled his bandages back up. He would find her when she found Jiriaya. Plus having a part of Venom on her as well helped. Naruto stepped up to the black and blue Jiriaya.
"You okay?"
"...No," he groaned.
"What was it this time?"
"I was flirting with this woman with black hair and a pig. Tsunade-hime saw me and then you appeared over me."
"Be glad you don't remember. I believe that she was Shizune. And if the bio we received was correct, she is related to Tsunade's love, Dan. His niece, we believe." He stepped over him. "We will be back later."
"You're just going to leave your godfather!?"
"Just what you deserve for flirting with family."
—oo000oo—
Haku was stepping through the hospital when she saw the ninja that had visited Naruto the night before you left. "What are you doing here?"
He looked at her, shocked. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you work here. I was visiting my brother."
"Well, we don't per say. We are here to sharpen our skills in medicine. Who is your brother?"
Sai motioned the door behind him. "He is in there and his name is Shin. He has a rare illness that no one here can cure. He is going to die soon. I am praying that Tsunade comes back before then."
Haku arched an eyebrow at him. "We thought Root destroyed emotion."
Sai grinned and chuckled. "Nah, can't with me, not yet at least. My brother and I are both in it and we keep each other sane, I guess." He grew grim, "I imagine I would become one of those robots if he died."
"And two nights ago?"
"That was work," Sai said, waving dismissively.
Haku smiled, "Well, maybe you can be okay. We are a registered medical ninja, maybe we can help." She walked inside and stopped Sai from following. "No, just us." She closed the door and turned around. "You awake, Shin-kun?"
He coughed and tried to sit up. "Barely. You new here?" Haku forced him back down.
"Yes. But we are very good."
"We? Oh, I see, you are the second Uzumaki." He coughed again. "Going to give the condemned a last kiss? Nothing more I would want than that from a beautiful woman," he said with a chuckle.
"No," Haku said, smiling at him. "We are going to try something new. It shouldn't hurt and it shouldn't take long. But you need to go to sleep for it." She knew the type that Root are so when she prepared the needle and chemical, she made sure he saw exactly what everything was. She inserted the syringe in his forearm and sent the anesthetic into his blood system. "Count down from a hundred."
"One hundred, ninety nine, ninety eight...seventy two...apple..." His head fell back and he started snoring.
Haku checked his pulse to make sure. Nodding that he was fine, she turned to the window that Sai was looking through. "I have to close the curtain, Sai-kun."
"But..."
"No 'but'. This monitor is hooked up to a machine, if his heart rate drops too low, the alarm over the window as well at the office down the hall will activate." She went over to it and closed it. "Trust us." She made sure the curtain and door was secured and turned back to Shin. "Serum?" He asked what she wanted. "We want you to do heal him like you did with Ranmaru." She placed her hands over his chest and part of her symbiont slid from her hands to his chest and mouth. He went inside of him and began destroying the virus and infected cells while healing the damage done by it and the virus. Shin's heart rate rose but soon began to return to normal. He told her it was done before retracting into her arms.
Haku went back over to the window and door and opened them. "It is done. We will have to wait and see if it worked but if it did, he will wake up feeling right as rain."
Sai nodded to her. "Thank you. Why did you do this?"
"We hate to see almost anyone suffer." She walked to the next room and examined the chart before walking in. "Hello, we are Uzumaki Haku. We are going to be giving you your shot today."
Sai smiled and turned back to watch his brother. He knew right then that it had helped because he was not coughing in his sleep. "You lucky jerk," he said, "getting a pretty girl to nurse you back to good health. You always had the luck with women. Don't know why with that tiny dick you have."
—oo000oo—
"What has he done to her," Kiba demanded as both him and Shino tried defend themselves from Hinata in this spar. They knew where she had gotten these skills. Naruto, only person in this village that acted like this before. There was a rustle in the branch above them but they didn't bother looking at it. No doubt, she was already over ten feet away. "Shino, you stepped away from my back. Please get back in position," he said, sweating bullets. "Shino?" He turned around and found himself alone. "AAGH! Akamaru, where did he go!?" When he didn't hear a reply, he turned back around, afraid of what he would find. And he found nothing. "I'm a dead man."
Above him, Hinata tied Akamaru to the same tree as Shino. He began to whimper a little so Hinata scratched his head and gave him a kiss on the nose. "Sorry, but you are 'dead' now." She patted him on the head and looked to Shino. "You too."
"...What did Naruto do to you," Shino asked. She shrugged and leaned backwards, falling from the tree and vanishing.
Kiba wasn't jumping at every sound, for which he was grateful. That would only make him look like an idiot. He was jumping at the silence. She moved without ever making any noise unless she wanted too. That is why he ignored the shaking above him. He turned around, trying to catch her scent somewhere when he felt something hit his chest. He looked down and saw one of her webs. "SHE GOT MEEEE!"
Kurenai heard the cry and looked around. It was Hinata against all of them. And she had just eliminated her team. She swallowed before she cast a genjutsu to make herself invisible. After several minutes, Hinata appeared looking for her. Her eyes was closed and she was moving like she was following something else. "Kurenai-sensei? You do know that our Byakugan can see through this, right?" Despite her proclamation, she didn't activate it.
'She is trying to find me without it, to test herself,' Kurenai realized. She was more than willing to help her. A tree grew behind her and wrapped around her. Kurenai came out the top of it, training kunai in hand. She stabbed down at the bound genin...and Hinata caught her arms, her eyes stilled closed.
"Naruto-kun is a little better," Hinata said, opening her eyes, "at hiding his presence. Thank you, sensei." She leaned back, swinging her legs up and planted them on her chest, knocking her backwards and releasing the genjutsu. She stood there, her team defeated, wanting more. The adrenaline rush wasn't enough. "Need more opponents. Stronger ones, too."
Kurenai shook her head, clearing it. "A month training with him and you can do all that?"
"We know," Hinata told her. She jumped up into the trees and came back, moments later, with Kiba, Shino, and Akamaru.
"Damn," Kiba said, standing up. "A tough little cookie and a righteous babe all in one."
Hinata smiled under her mask. "We're taken, Kiba."
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
"But he will hurt you if he ever finds out," Shino stated. "Remember, he is the one of the few of us to make chunin. And there is that rumor."
"There has never been an ANBU at the age of thirteen," Kiba said. Kurenai smirked, she could think of a few actually.
"Well, if Hinata can get this strong with the proper motivation and training, maybe she will be the first." Hinata smirked as well, she knew Naruto made it. Of course he made it, nothing he wanted was out of reach.
"We're sorry, Kiba, we're just not interested." She turned to Kurenai. "Thank you, sensei, for the lesson. Will that be all for today?"
"Yes it is, Hinata."
"Then we're going to go play in forty four." She walked away, waving behind back to them just like a certain blond.
"That idiot is having a bad effect on my Hinata," Kiba complained.
"Your Hinata," Kurenai asked.
"Yes, my..." He was thrown backwards when a ball of webbing hit his face.
—oo000oo—
"So, tell me about these 'two'," Tsunade said to Naruto.
"Do we have to," Naruto complained. Before he was given a pinch on the face and pulled to the side. "Alright, alright, we have!"
Shizune giggled while Tsunade grinned in triumph. "Talk," his godmother told him.
"First is Haku-chan," Naruto told her, defeated. "She is actually from the Uzumaki clan and we are in an arranged marriage with her." When he saw the look Tsunade was giving, he raised his hands to calm her. "Not that it is a bad thing. We care for Haku-chan very much. Which is also the problem."
"How is that a problem," Shizune asked.
"Because of the second girl, Hinata-chan. We care for her very much as well. And...can't choose between them. Both are content for now to wait for us to settle our feelings but for how long?"
Tsunade leaned back in her chair and rubbed her forehead. "It's a curse," she stated. "Anyone that pervert gets close to becomes one."
Naruto didn't need to ask which pervert she meant. "But we aren't close to Ero-sennin."
"No, but your father was. He was a father to him."
Naruto's face fell slack. "Our father was a pervert!?"
Shizune blushed a little. "He kept it in check but yes he was."
"Barely," Tsunade continued. "Although once he met your mother, the only time he peeped on the bathhouse was when she was in it."
Naruto tried the imagine the Fourth Hokage atop the Tower, telescope in hand, lecherous grin on his face, looking at the distant hot springs. And, oddly enough, he found it very easy. "We're humiliated. Who is going to take a hunter ninja and future Hokage serious if they ever find that out?" He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.
"You want to be one of those men and women," Tsunade asked. "Don't, they are never right afterwards."
"Haku-chan was a hunter ninja and we are already one." He shook his head, sighed, and motioned to the headbands on his arm. "Kisame and Itachi, both S rank missing ninja. We had to kill them both, coming here." He snapped his fingers, "We forgot." He took out his Bingo Book and and made a circle with an X through it over their pages. He planned to use this one until they were all gone. And when he was done, he hoped that all of them had a circle with the X as that would mean he brought them in.
Shizune was shocked when she saw the sword on the back of the person that could be her little brother on the picture of the famous Kiri missing ninja. "You killed one of the Seven Swordsmen," she asked while swallowing the lump in her throat.
"Yes. We wish we didn't have to but he was out to kill us." He shook his head again. "Momichi Zabuza was the guardian of Haku-chan before she came to Konoha. We feel like we owe him. He has found several of his former comrades and now we have to tell him that one of them is never coming back."
"Not something I would look forward to. That is why I would never be Hokage," Tsunade said offhand.
"Funny you would mention that," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head. "You did hear us when we said we were going to be Hokage, right?"
"...Actually, no I did," Tsunade told him. "What are you thinking!? Everyone of those fools all died or will die a pointless death far too young!"
"Now, we see a problem right there," Naruto said, pointing at her. "Your sensei, Sarutobi, has been at it longer than most ninja live. So how can you say that?"
She grimaced. "You have a point there but only one."
"So, if you were offered the position right now, you would?"
"Turn it down of course!"
"That's too bad, Tsunade-hime," Jiriaya said, walking in and sitting down at their table. "Because you are being offered it. Until Naruto is ready for it, of course."
"Name one reason I would let my godson become one of those sacrificial lambs!?"
"Because it is his dream, his life, and his want. Like it or not, the only way your are going to stop him is if you became Hokage and denied him," Jiriaya said with a grin.
"How can you say this!? My family, my entire family, has died over that damn title and so has your student! And you are just going to stand there and let another person march right up to the headsman's ax!?"
"We are going to become Hokage," Naruto told her. "We said we would become a hunter ninja and we are. Now, we are going to become Hokage and we will."
"Naruto, you are young so I understand. You think that it is a great thing to be Hokage but it isn't!"
"We know. Most of the time, it is not about life or death. It is about paperwork, making sure that the village survives the SSDD, same shit, different day. But we swore that we would protect those around us. Every time we fight, it is to make sure someone else doesn't have to fight a battle not meant for them. You say they gave up their lives as a waste? We say they gave up their lives for a dream. That one day, no one else will. That is why we will become Hokage."
Tsunade stood up, slamming her hands down on the table. "I will see you Hokage when I am dead and buried!"
Naruto stood up as well. "What are you going to do to stop us!? We have fought two S ninja at once and walked away with their headbands! You aren't going to convince us not too with fist! Nor will words work!"
"Just because you are good at killing doesn't make you Hokage material! I know what it takes! You have to be able to face down opponents that are stronger than you, faster than you, smarter than you! You have to..."
"We have faced down someone stronger, faster, and probably smarter than us," Naruto interrupted. "He is the one summon to ever resist the contract and kill the man that summoned him! Scarmory, the Steel Raven, is my friend and ally, when at first, he was my enemy!" Naruto sat back down. "We also killed the one man the Hokage couldn't. We faced him down in the one place we should have never won and still did. Orochimaru is dead by our hands."
She looked stunned, enough that she dropped back into her chair. "...Great Kami."
"How can someone have this kind of power," Shizune asked, intimidated by this revelation. "Is what he said true, Jiriaya-sama?"
"The Old Man can attest to it. I am certain he would have considered Naruto for the job if he wouldn't have been more needed our here. Naruto is a first class tracker and has made the Forest of Death his personal playground."
"We're not all powerful, Ero-sennin," Naruto stated, still able to recall the pain when he grew arrogant and attacked someone with sounds.
"Could fool me," he replied. "If you aren't his son, no one is. Hell, you might as well be his reincarnation."
"We are Naruto," Naruto said. "And if Tsunade-kaasan doesn't accept, we are Naruto, the Fifth Hokage."
"Excuse me!? I was the one offered that position!"
"We don't see you wanting it," Naruto stated.
She growled. She realized that they were trying to make her accept but she would be damned if she let someone else she cared about die for that blasted chair! "Like hell I won't! The next Hokage is me!"
"Good," Naruto said, smiling under his bandages. "Very good, now we don't have to turn you over to Rosenberg's." She paled at the thought of that.
"You would do that?"
"We wouldn't like it but our orders are that if you did not accept, you were to be forced back and made to pay." Naruto smiled. "Which is why we tried so hard to get you to come willingly."
—oo000oo—
Author's notes: I know, not very original, having Tsunade become Hokage but we feel sorry for Sarutobi. Who wouldn't. So, like we said in another story, Let Tsunade have it!
Here is something hard to believe, at least for us. When we started Konoha's Black Spider, we did not think that it would beat out Sound of a Jinchuuriki. But it did! KBS is more popular by far. To date, there has been 221 favs for it against 189. 307 alerts against 206. Damn, no? And even though S of a J is older by several months, it only leads in reviews by 14. It has 268 while KBS has 254.
And yes, we know we are still speaking in plural.
See ya space cowboy.
