Chapter 4 – Reckless
Sakura wasn't in art class the next day.
I had to be going crazy – because it seemed to me that the paints' colours were faded when she wasn't there.
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At lunch, Kaze started off ranting about gym class. To be honest, I was only half listening – firstly, we were in top physical condition, so it wasn't a stretch for her. Secondly, I was mulling over the things that Shadowless had said to us.
"No room for shadows…it is my job to keep the world shadowless."
"Leave me alone; you don't realize what you're doing."
But, most of all:
"I'm so happy to have finally met you…Jinsei."
What did it all mean?
Kaze stopped talking and frowned. "Is that…?"
I looked over, and felt a spark of delight—it was Sakura, approaching with a smile and a wave. I waved back; Kaze dropped her scowl, but her gaze was still hostile – and directed at me.
Damn it.
"Hi, Jinsei," said Sakura. "And you must be Miyamoto-san," she said, turning to Kaze. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Hiwatari Sakura."
'Hi," said Kaze stiffly.
"Where were you this morning?" I asked.
"I take the subway to school – I live on the other side of town – and there was a problem or something, so it was delayed." She brightened. "But I finished the drawing!"
"How? Wasn't it hard to draw me if I wasn't there?"
Sakura smiled and shook her head, sending her hair into a whirl of colours. "I've said it before: I've always been good at visualizing things…people…places…anyway, I have it in here, somewhere." She rummaged through her satchel, pulled out a folder, and began to flip through it.
I knew Kaze's eyes were on her; she was unsure what to make of Sakura's bright, cheerful demeanor, her tetracoloured hair, her bizarre dress – today's costume consisted of a white tank top, a brilliant red necktie, black rhinestone-studded short-shorts held up by bright yellow suspenders, enormous hop earrings, red high-tops, and thigh-high socks striped in every colour of the rainbow.
None of this, though, was reason to dislike her—a wild impulsive thought sprang to my mind: was Kaze jealous?
"Here it is!" exclaimed Sakura, drawing a sheet of paper from her portfolio before handing it to me.
I gasped – it was like looking in a mirror. Even in black and white, it was unmistakably me—from the ears to the ribbed grey sweater to the plume-like tail. And the eyes – wow. It was unbelievable what the held – the emotion, the knowledge, the mystery.
Is this how she sees me?
"It's unbelievable," I said.
"Is that a good thing?"
"Yes! Look, Kaze—"
"It's great," she said flatly.
"I'm so glad you like it!" Sakura cried. "I'd better go hand it in, or sensei won't accept in…after that, can I come and eat lunch with you?"
"Sure," I replied automatically, and I felt Kaze staring daggers at the back of my head.
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"I thought I told you to stay away from her."
I wouldn't look at Kaze. "It wasn't that simple."
"And why not?" she demanded.
When I didn't have an answer, I risked a glance up to meet her eyes; simultaneously, she turned away in disgust.
"Kaze—she's harmless."
She whirled around. "What about that drawing, Jinsei. She created a perfect image of you, from memory. That at least has to tell you she's going to notice when you're gone!"
Like looking in a mirror…
"Jinsei--? Christ, you're not even listening!"
"Kaze—"
"Forget it. Do what you will. But I'll make sure that it's you, and only you, who takes the fall for this."
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The next day, Sakura was subdued – for her, anyway. She wore a purple T-shirt and matching leg warmers, black flats, a skirt patterned to look like the keys of a piano. She was already in the art room, humming to herself as she drew multicoloured music notes in chalk pastel.
She looked up abruptly when I approached. Her hair was held back by a pair of glittery chopsticks, and I could see her chandelier earrings swinging from the sudden movement – a tiny eighth note hung from the end of each chain.
"Hey, Jinsei."
"Feeling musical today?" I asked. "I mean, the skirt, the earring, the humming, the drawing…"
"I'm always feeling musical," Sakura replied seriously.
"Do you play an instrument, then?"
"Acoustic guitar, flute, clarinet…but piano is my favourite," she replied. "I'm not that good, though."
"Well, if you're half as good at playing as you are at drawing, I'd love to hear you sometime."
"Well…" she paused. "You have an empty class next, right?"
"Yes…"
"Me, too. Come with me to the music room after this class – it's empty, but the sensei lets me practice in there."
"Okay…great!"
Not once during that whole exchange did I think of Kaze.
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Sakura's hands danced over the piano keys, igniting a rich, complex melody.
Immediately, I was full to bursting with a number of feelings I could not describe. I closed my eyes, and watched as my mind's eye beheld wave after wave of colour – brilliant reds and yellows, angry splashes of orange, and calming stripes of soothing purples and greens – stretched, twisted, and melded together over and over.
And this feeling – it was like the music was in me, and I was riding molten waves of liquid sound.
Sakura finished, letting the last few notes linger, then turned to me.
All I could say was, "Do you really think you're 'not that good'?"
"No," Sakura admitted. "But there is always more for me to learn.
"Music is my true passion," she explained. "That's why art comes so easily to me – it's like music you can see."
I thought of the colours I'd seen, and I replied, "I agree. That song – did you write it?"
"Yes…how did you guess?"
"It was just a hunch."
"So…what did you think? You can be honest…"
"It was incredible," I replied. "Every note was just so…alive."
Sakura grinned. "You're the first to describe it that way."
"It was a compliment!"
"I know…but most people say the same things: good, great, nice, etc., etc. To say it's 'alive'…" she looked thoughtful. "Do you want to try?"
"Playing, you mean?"
"Yes."
"I don't know that first thing about music!"
"You obviously have a feel for it." She slid over to one side of the piano bench and indicated the space next to her. "Come sit down, and just try it."
"Okay…but this is going to be hard."
"That's what you said when we were doing portraits, but you did great!"
"It was nothing compared to yours," I replied.
"It's not a contest," said Sakura firmly. "So, come sit down, and give it a try. I'll help you."
I sat down on the bench, and lightly placed my hands on the yellowed keys. Carefully, I pressed a few, listening to the notes ring and resonate deep in the piano. I pressed them again, faster: I had created a simple melody.
Those few notes were like a code that unlocked something in me. Somehow, everything about the piano made sense to me, and I knew what to do. My right hand skimmed the keys to form a melody, increasingly more complex, and my left hand added a few bass chords. The song was nothing like Sakura's; nowhere near as good – but it was far more than I'd thought I could do. On my right-hand side, Sakura added her own touch, and trilling groups of sixteenth notes rose and fell with my part.
We were in perfect tune, perfect harmony – it was an amazing, exhilarating feeling. Something within me stirred; I opened my mouth and was surprised to discover I was singing.
A new world that I don't know
Nowhere to turn, nowhere to go
Until, ahead, like an unseen glow—
I was interrupted by the bell, and I stopped with a jolt, lifting my hands from the keyboard. Sakura, however, continued for a few seconds, slowing the song and bringing it to an end, reaching across me to strike some of the lower notes.
She turned to face me, her cheeks flushed slightly. "What did I tell you? I knew you had it in you!"
"I didn't," I replied, stunned at what I'd created. The music – the notes, the chords, the words; they'd all leapt into my head of their own accord.
Sakura rose from the bench, slinging her satchel over her shoulder. "I'll see you in history, then?"
"You won't have lunch with me and Kaze?"
"I don't get the impression Miyamoto-san likes me very much."
There was no use denying it. "I have no idea why she's taken a dislike—but you shouldn't let it stop you."
"That's okay—I'd rather not intrude," replied Sakura.
Her voice held finality. "All right," I conceded. "See you in history."
She smiled. "Will you come back here tomorrow?"
The music – the way it had seemed to possess me – it was amazing, incredible, intoxicating. "Yes," I replied hoarsely.
"Then I'll see you then, too."
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Once we were back at our apartment, Kaze was civil enough, but she would barely speak to me. She was still irritated with me, but I could sense that there was something else bothering her. However, I decided not to press her – for now.
There was another energy burst that night, and the tension in the air thickened to almost suffocating levels.
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After art class, Sakura led me back to the music room in a maelstrom of colour – red-and-white striped tights, black combat boots, a neon-green hooded sweater, a skirt made up of about fifty layers of rainbow-coloured chiffon, and two different earrings: one was a large silver eighth note; the other was an eighth note as well, but small, black, and hanging from a thin chain. The colours of her clothes reminded me of the music in my mind's eye…
Once we reached the music room, she unzipped her sweater and draped it over a chair. Her white t-shirt was adorned with a single black treble clef, under which it read: Music is what emotion sounds like.
I couldn't agree more.
I sat down at the piano, but Sakura hung back. "Aren't you going to play?" I asked.
"I'm just going to listen, for now," she replied. "I want to focus on your singing. You have a good voice."
"I do?"
"Yes—a beautiful tenor."
"Well—thanks. Do you sing?"
"Not really."
"Can you sing?"
"Not really. Now, come on, play!"
I did; the music was born from my fingertips and rang throughout the room.
"You're a natural," said Sakura after a while.
"It feels so – right," I admitted.
"What music is wrong?" she asked seriously.
I didn't have an answer.
"Why don't you sing something?" Sakura suggested.
"I don't really know any songs…"
"What about the one from yesterday?"
"That just—came to me. Besides, it's a good thing the bell interrupted me, because I was out of words," I said jokingly.
"Well, I'll stop talking, and maybe something will 'come to you' again."
"But, last time, you were playing with me…"
"Do you think that will help?"
"Maybe."
"Well, okay." She smiled. "Slide over."
A minute later, four-part harmonies spiralled into the air, carrying a myriad of images and emotions: darkness, sunlight, fog, clarity, a wandering path, confusion, hope.
And then the words came.
What is this that's happening to me?
For so long in darkness, I think I finally see
A brand-new side to everything I knew
Or thought I did, but now my sight
No longer betrayed, beholds the light
Shapes and sounds, in my mind, ring true.
We let the song run its course and end on its own volition.
"Is it normal to be able to improvise like that?" I asked.
'Does it matter if it's normal? It sounds amazing. Alive." She laughed.
When she laughed – the sound, combined with the lingering remnants of our music, seemed to shimmer in the air around her…
We'd been in flawless synchronization…
…meaning, we were perfect together…
…right?
Overwhelmed by a desire that barely seemed my own, I leaned over and kissed Sakura lightly on the lips.
I'd only meant it to last a moment, but she immediately pulled back and got to her feet.
"We should go – the bell will ring soon." She was turned away from me, and her hair hid her face, but I could tell she was flustered.
All I could do was sit, shocked, trying to grapple with these strange new feelings, and the immediate rejection that had followed.
I overheard Sakura as she yanked her sweater off the chair, the zipper scraping the molded plastic, and her footsteps as she walked quickly towards the door. Suddenly, they stopped, and, for a long minute, all was still.
Then, Sakura's voice, quiet and uncertain: "Jinsei?"
I stood and turned; she was already walking back. In one fluid movement, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and placed her lips against mine.
My whole being came alive, then, vibrating with a kind of electric sensation. I placed one hand gently on the back of her head, running my fingers through her hair. I closed my eyes, savouring the moment.
When we finally pulled apart, and I opened my eyes, she was smiling at me.
'I'll see you later," she said, lifting her arms from my shoulders.
'Yes," I responded, barely able to speak louder than a whisper.
And then she was gone, leaving me alone, in even greater turmoil than before.
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Kaze…
Shouldn't I be feeling these things for Kaze? My partner, my Fighter, my Namesharer…
I should be…but I can't.
Why?
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As it turned out, we'd run out of food, so Kaze and I walked down to the market.
It was extremely busy; the aisles were crowded with people. The incessant murmur of their voices masked our disquieted silence.
Kaze methodically pulled items off the shelves and dropped them into the basket. We weren't going to buy a lot of things: Seven Voices had provided us with money, but, if all went well, we weren't going to be in the city for much longer.
When I leave...
...Sakura...
"Grab a few cans of oolong tea, would you?" said Kaze, startling me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah...sure," I replied, slightly dazed.
But, when I turned around, I knocked into a girl who was behind me, knocking her to the ground.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" I cried. I reached down and grabbed her hand to help her up.
When I touched her hand, though, a kind of jolt shot up my arm. At the same time, I saw a blue diamond glittering in the corner of her ear.
I let go of her hand as quickly as I would a red-hot iron bar. She staggered back a step, turning her face up to impale me with brilliant blue eyes.
Shadowless!
Of all the times...
She turned and strode back down the aisle, making her way back through the crowd. Her pace was casual, but she was moving definitely towards the exit.
I nudged Kaze and pointed out our quarry.
The basket hit the ground with a crash, scattering food items across the floor, and Kaze was shoving her way through the people in a breakneck frenzy; I followed closely.
Shadowless looked back at us and increased her own pace slightly. The instant she stepped over the threshold of the sliding glass doors, she hit the ground running. Kaze and I were about a half a dozen steps behind her.
The sky glowed orange in the west, casting long shadows over the streets.
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A/N: There you have it, people. Chapter Four, and a nice cliffhanger for you *grins evilly* I hope that you will review…
Oh, and I stole Justine's earrings for one of Sakura's outfits…the mismatched eighth notes are yours, I'm sorry. But seeing as I only stole them in spirit, I hope I'll be forgiven.
I love coming up with outfits for Sakura…I would totally wear them, too, if I had the stuff (I wish I had a rainbow petticoat-skirt!).
And so Jinsei learns to play music…and he likes Sakura, now, too. Or does he? Does he really like her, or is it just an "I'm-a-slave-to-the-music-and-I-have-no-control-over-my-actions" kind of thing? What do you want it to be? Jinsei/Kaze or Jinsei/Sakura…I'm very interested to know.
I'm looking forward to posting the next chapter…the ending will be very random and guaranteed to make you go "wtf?!?!?!?!" Heehee… *another evil grin* So, I hope to update soon, and I'll see y'all then!
~Raye Lynne
