Hello all!! Sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter!! I got frustrated with it the first time I wrote it and erased the entire thing and refused to touch it for a few days -.-; I'm still not entirely satisfied with the outcome but oh well!! :D Spock seems a little OOC to me in this chapter so I apologize if it throws anyone off!! Hope you enjoy it!! :D
Jim winced, opening his eyes slowly. It was a major accomplishment, one he'd been working toward for the better part of an hour (at least he guessed it was an hour; hard to tell time when you can't open your eyes to see a clock). He stared up at the white tiled ceiling above him, frowning in confusion for a second. Where the hell was he? He wanted to move his head but found that the very motion of blinking was exhausting so he figured laying still might be in his best interest for the time being. His mind felt fuzzy and useless, completely fogged over with whatever had happened in the past few...days? Weeks? How long had he even been here? And he still had yet to figure out where "here" was for that matter.
There was a flicker of movement from the corner of his eye but he couldn't move enough to see what it was. Damn joint stiffness. "The alterations in your breathing pattern suggests you have regained consciousness." A monotonous voice pointed out softly and Jim found himself frowning again.
He knew that voice, recognized it in the depths of his sub-conscious, but he couldn't think of a name right off hand. Instead, he shook his head slowly, an obvious mistake thanks to the stiffness in his neck and joints, and let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh. "Its way too early for big words like that..." He muttered, wincing at the roughness of his voice. He felt like he'd been gargling gravel for about a week. He tried to clear his throat, another mistake realized too late, and grit his teeth. There was a light pressure against his shoulder and he looked up to see a glass of water hovering above his head. Well, that was unusual...
A man a few years older than him appeared around the rim of the glass. His expression remained stoic and impassive but there was the briefest flicker of concern in his dark eyes. "Are you alright, Captain?"
Jim nodded slightly, wondering why he wouldn't be, and reached out to accept the glass. His arm felt heavy and weighted like something was tied to his wrist. Thin wires and tubes were taped to his forearm and wrist, threading into the skin and pulsing clear fluid into his body. It was surreal and startling to say the least. "The hell...?" He heard himself mumble, eyebrows knitting together in a confused knot.
A jumble of memories suddenly came flooding back like a tidal wave. Frank reappearing after being in prison for so many years...being blackmailed into resigning and threatening to destroy the ship if he didn't...the gun shot... "Shit!" Jim was suddenly completely upright, immediately regretting the decision. He sucked in a sharp breath, his ribs aching fiercely against him being vertical and his head swimming sickeningly. There was the distinct and uncomfortable pull of a bandaged wound in his side as well, a dull throb accentuating each breath. A firm yet surprisingly gentle hand was pressed against his chest and he was carefully pushed back down into a reclined position.
"Such strenuous movements are not recommended in your current condition, Captain." The man said, eying him carefully. "Re-opening your wounds would be very detrimental to the progress you have already made and I'm certain Doctor McCoy would not be pleased to learn of it either."
Jim allowed himself to relax against what he was pretty sure was a bed. He stared at the dark haired man for a long minute, blue eyes narrowing slightly. He vaguely recalled arguments with the man but couldn't remember why; it seemed oddly pointless now. He struggled for a second, the name almost within reach. "I know you..." He said finally, a nod of assertion following the statement.
"A comforting thought considering you have been unconscious for nearly ninety-seven hours." The man said, the faintest hint of smile settling across his features.
There was only one person Jim could think of that would use that kind of logic in every situation. "Spock." Upon receiving a nod from the man, Jim smiled. Another thought occurred to him then and the smile vanished. "Wait..." He did the math in his head quickly. "Four days?! I've been unconscious for four days?!"
Spock nodded solemnly. "Your survival was..." He paused, thinking of a more delicate word to use. "Unsure." He said finally, watching the younger man carefully. "There were at least two separate occasions in which you were nearly lost."
The cold reality sank in and Jim suddenly felt like he had an anvil sitting on his chest. It had been four days since he'd faced his step-father, four days he'd been stuck in this God-forsaken bed. What if Frank had managed to active the code and destroyed the ship? Was anyone injured? "Where's Frank?" He asked finally, a knot forming in his stomach.
"He has been taken into custody." Spock answered indifferently though there was a hint of bitterness in his voice. The Vulcan turned to face him completely then, dark eyes leveling on his face. "Captain," He began quietly as if it was all he could do not to throw out a hundred different questions at once. "Why did you keep your whereabouts and complications with your step-father a secret? Your injuries..." He paused, regaining control of himself to prevent the anger from appearing in his voice. "This could have been avoided. Why did you feel that this was a burden you must carry yourself?"
Jim was silent for a second, unsure of how to answer. The mental shields he'd built up in his mind for years against the memories of Frank had now all but crumbled completely and he was left with nothing. He wanted to be angry, to tell his First Officer that it was none of his business, but he couldn't. Truth be told, it was Spock's business along with everyone else involved with the Enterprise. Everything he'd done was for them, it had never been for any other reason. The safety of his crew members had been the only thing circulating through his mind for the past few days. "Frank threatened to destroy the Enterprise if I didn't resign. He said he'd uploaded a code sequence that could destroy the ship from the inside out whit all of you inside..." He stopped, glaring at the wall a few feet away. "He'd managed to make a copy of my ID card and was keeping an eye on me from every angle of the Academy. He said that if I told anyone about his plan then he would active the code and destroy anyone and everything that happened to be in the Enterprise at the time..." There was another pause and he turned to face Spock. "That code is still in the ship."
The Vulcan frowned and shook his head. "To my knowledge an unidentified code was found a few days ago and removed with no complications. A complete systems check has been done multiple times since the discovery with no recurring problems."
Cold fury welled in the pit of Jim's stomach and he clenched his fist. "Son of a bitch...he used me..." He knew it was a possibility all along; that Frank had been lying and wielding Jim however he saw fit. He'd used him like a puppet to his every whim; the threat had been fake all along. "Part of me knew it was a bluff..." He said slowly, refusing to meet the Vulcan's gaze. "Part of me knew it was impossible to get past off the ship's security systems and implant something that dangerous on board...but I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk the off chance that it was true..."
Spock remained silent as Jim spoke, not wanting to interrupt the younger man's revelation. Still, it was difficult to watch the realization dawn on him and sit by quietly. "You say your reason behind your actions was to protect the ship and its crew but you never stopped to think of how that would affect the crew on board."
Jim frowned. "What do you mean?"
The Vulcan shrugged one shoulder half-hearted and continued. "As the Captain of a Starfleet ship, I understand the level of responsibility that has been placed upon you but also that, given your crew's loyalty to you, you should never have to approach a problem of this magnitude alone."
Jim sighed and shook his head. "I've been unconscious for four days Spock, the big words aren't filtering through quite right..."
"You aren't alone."
That did sink in and the younger man felt himself stop and look over. "What?"
"As Captain of the Enterprise you see it as your duty to protect your crew and your ship no matter what the cost."
"Yeah...?"
"Well, that can be expressed in both ways. As you protect this crew it is our duty to reflect the same civility." Upon seeing the younger man still staring at him, Spock continued. "You are our Captain, Jim. And as such, it would only be logical for us to protect you and defend you in the same way you have done for us. A troubled past can be a heavy burden to bear, but it is not one you must face alone. Not now, not ever."
For a long time Jim didn't know what to say. Everything that came to mind sounded too jumbled to make any real sense out of. He'd been a fool; he had been so focused on doing things his way without seeing what it was doing to everyone around him. Nearly dying (twice) couldn't have been good for the crew's morale either and God knows Bones probably had a field day with it. But Spock was right; he had to accept the fact that while he wanted nothing more than to keep everyone safe, they wanted the same for him. Ever having any doubts of that had been a huge mistake. "Thank you..." He said finally though the words sounded oddly useless to express his true gratitude.
The Vulcan simply nodded and leaned back in his chair again. He picked up the book that had been folded across his leg and began reading again. It was a clear indication that he wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon.
Jim smiled faintly to himself and relaxed back against the bed. No matter what happened in the future, they would face it together. That's what crews did. But for now hard to see the future through the fatigue that had once again settled around him. He fell asleep feeling better than he had in months. For the first time, he felt like he was home.
So was it okay?? If not just let me know, I'm up for any suggestions!! :D Last chapter coming up next!!
