Hello fanfictioners,
Okay, we're at about 80 and up reviews. LETS GO FOR 100! Just a small little request. I don't know how you'll do that. Maybe you could, oh I don't know. REVIEW? Or tell someone about it, I don't know. Just try at least xD.
Last Chapter (Ch8)
"Please," Ian sobbed, "Please! I love her…please." His voice was filled with agony, hurt, and betrayal.
"I just…I just can't. You don't understand. I've never felt this way before. I just…I just love her."
Ian did not answer me after that, but I felt his sadness deepening every minute. The pit of my stomach twisting at what I had caused. I looked back a Wanderer, her eyes still swimming with tears, tears I am causing. I know this is wrong… but I just can't.
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Chapter 9
Wanda's POV
I sat there, debating. A part of me, my logic sense I think, was telling me Melanie and Sunny found me, still…there was that part of me…my heart I'm guessing, that was telling me, Ian was here, that he loves me. My heart felt that piercing pain again. Stop it, I told myself, I'm only making things so much worst.
There was a sudden sound. The sound of a zipper. I watched as a familiar hand pulled it down, then, entered Ian O'shea. The love of my life. My heart lurched in my chest, beating a thousand times faster, tears of joy gathered in my eyes. I was just so happy to see him. His back was to me as he zipped it up again, a small gasp falling from my lips. He turned around quickly, his beautiful face meeting my frantic eyes. He was just as beautiful as I remembered; finally I couldn't take this much longer.
"Ian!" I exclaimed, his name burning my throat, I threw myself at him. Throwing my arms around his neck, I buried my head in his chest, breathing in his scent, that I had missed so much. The scent that has become my most favourite smell in the world. Sobs escaped from me, a tiny smile on my lips.
He had escaped!
My Ian, oh God, Ian was safe. He was here. I cried fore I was so happy, something I had not felt in such a long time. I sobbed into his chest loudly clinging myself to him. He felt so warm in my arms, how I had missed this feeling. The feeling of love. I lifted my face up to meet his, just how I remember. Wait…there was something. There was something that just wasn't Ian.
"How?" I whispered, that's when I saw it.
That silver gleam.
My face fell, and I sobbed for a different reason now. No, NO, how could they do this to Ian? My Ian? I pulled myself away from him, wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep myself together.
Loud sobs erupted from my chest, as cried "No!"
This pain was all new, this pain was a different type of pain. This pain was much, much worst.
"I am not your Ian," Ian's voice said, but I knew, that it was not Ian, it was simply his voice.
I cried, and I cried, the tears never stopping. My Ian was gone, and instead…instead one of me was shoved into him. I wept loudly because this soul inside of him, that soul…that soul is exactly like me. I, and him are two of the same kind. This, this right there just brought back the fact that Ian and I, even if there still was an Ian, are not suppose to be. We are not supposed to love each other. This soul did nothing wrong, I think, but it is I, who has done the faults. I am on the wrong side of the fight. I am a soul, yet I love a human. I love an enemy, I love Ian. Now, this man sitting there, was not Ian. It was Ian's body. Just like how my own body is not my own, I am simply using it. But Ian, Ian did nothing! He did not deserve this! I am just as bad as the soul who took his body, because I have taken someone's body too. Even though, she would not come back if I left, she was the one born in this body. The one who grew in this body, grew until I came. I am just as bad as the Healer who shoved the soul into Ian, I am just another intruder.
I lifted my head to see this soul who had taken my love's body. He looked like Ian, he was everything Ian was. But he was not Ian. Ian is never coming back. His beautiful blue eyes, and the silver gleam, were distant and widened slightly. He blinked hard a few times, and he flinched, as if someone bit him.
"W-who are you?" I whimpered, another sob breaking through me. I saw him flinch, but I did not care.
"I am Blaze of Fire," He said, his voice bringing on a whole new round of tears, "Blaze for short."
Blaze.
He is the one who has taken my Ian. My beautiful, innocent Ian. Suddenly, Blaze reached towards me, slowly bringing my hands down from my face. I stared at him blankly, my heart beat picking up. This was the first time he had touched me, well when I was conscious. He felt like Ian. He gently laid his hand upon my cheek, the heat from his hand spreading through me like wild fire. The familiar fire that I had felt so many times ago. The tears falling faster down my cheeks, as I shut my eye briefly.
"Ian," I whispered brokenly, it felt so much like him, like he use to touch me.
I felt his hand tense up, and I opened my eyes slowly. He winced, as if he was in pain. He was flinching slightly; his eyes seemed far away and clouded. He winced again, and his hands trembled.
"Blaze?" I asked quietly, but he did not seem to hear me.
"Wanda!" He cried, and pulled me towards him, my face buried in his chest, and his arms around my shoulders. Oh, how it felt so familiar. How I missed this embrace so much…
"Wha-"I asked but I was cut off.
Suddenly his lips were on mine. Kissing me the way Ian did. Only it was ferocious, and hard. His lips felt so warm against mine, just like they did. His lips were harder against my own, pushing my lips open. But I did not move fore I was afraid. This was not my Ian! How dare he touch me like he would? How dare he put me through more misery? He pulled away, hurt written across his face. New sobs broke out of me. It hurt so much! How could he do this to me? It felt so much like Ian, like he had kissed me. But that's impossible now. Ian is gone.
"I'm sorry," Blaze apologized, sounding regretful.
I nodded, as I felt my heart slowly pull a part…although it was never complete to begin with, but at least it was still manageable. Now…now all the tiny pieces I had left, all shattered. Life was so cruel, so evil. Sometimes I just wonder, why me? Ian would be so much better without me, he'd have a life. I, am out of nature. I am not supposed to be here! If only there was some way to disappear, to never feel this pain again. One way came to mind. One terrifying way.
Death.
That was the way I could break out from this aching life. No longer would I cry, would I hurt. I wouldn't have to feel regret, sorrow, sadness, anger, ever again. Nothing. Yet also, at the same time, I would never experience love, joy, happiness, excitement, none of those things. I could never smile again, never laugh, never hug. So many things I would lose in the process, so many people I would miss. But none of those things could compare to Ian. Nothing in the world could compare to Ian. Life is not worth living without him. Though he is here…his body. He's still not really him. It was not Ian who had kissed me. It was the soul. Blaze. I longed for Ian, I wanted to his words, but it was all too much. He was so close…but still so far away.
Then a memory caught up with me, and I watched it with tears in my eyes.
"No!" I screamed my voice high. The tears came fast blurring my vision, but I could still see Ian's face. Helplessly I reached out to him, and he did the same, out fingers meeting at the briefest instant. And then just as quickly as it had happened we were pulled away. He thrashed against the Seekers, but there were three on him.
"Wanderer!" He screamed, tears also streaming down his face. I struggled with all my strength, but it was a waste. I watched as they dragged him into a room,
"I love you Ian. I swear I do. I'll never stop, I promise." I yelled brokenly, my voice cracking. My blonde hair stuck to my face from my tears which flowed faster and faster, desperate sobs breaking out of my chest.
"Wanderer, be strong. I love-" There was a slap, and he never got to finish his sentence.
"Never stop fighting Ian. Never stop!" I yelled to him
My promise. Yes my promise. I would never stop loving him, which I can keep. I will never stop. Be strong he had told me. I'm sorry Ian I whimpered silently I cannot be strong. I can't hold on any longer.
"Wanderer," Blaze whispered, his voice shooting me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him slowly, wiping away my tears. "I…I know you probably don't…want to talk about this now. But…I need to know."
I stared into his eyes, lost again in its familiar gaze, as if Ian was actually watching me from behind those eyes.
"How did you get here Wanderer?" He asked, his voice trembling. "I mean…in the memories, I only saw of…" He tailed off, but I did not need him to tell me. He flinched twice, as if someone was yelling at him.
"I…" I cleared my throat, "Sunny saved me."
I saw him flinched slightly, and a wave of relief washed over his face.
"H-How?" He asked, his eyes blank, as if he was having some sort of vision problem…
"She just…persuaded the…Seekers" flinch, "To let me go and it was all a misunderstanding. But she…we…couldn't get to Ian. Or…we didn't know how." I whispered, tears gathering in my eyes but I brushed them away. I looked up to his face, breathing a sigh. Then my words caught up with me, and I instantly began to panic, it started from my toes and crept its way up to my face, my eyes widening.
"Y-you're not going to turn me in are you!? I mean, I know you're-we're- souls, but you don't have to listen to them! I didn't," And look where that got me, "You don't have to either! Oh, please Blaze. Think. Go through Ian's memories, you'll see. Please." My breaths were fast, my body trembling slightly. His eyes widen the slightest bit, his face hurt as if I had insulted him.
"I would never do that my Wanderer." My Wanderer, damn him to hell. His words brought back those wonderful memories, of Ian and I. It was Ian's voice, so clear, so sure. Tears brimmed over, but I rubbed them away.
"Wanderer." Her corrected himself quickly, noticing my tears. "I ran away from the Seekers."
My head shot up, surprised.
"You ran away?" I breathed,
He nodded staring down at his hands.
"They…they wanted me to join the Seekers, and help them capture…the rest of my-Ian's- family. But…but as I went through his memories, as I saw how he loves them, I just…I just couldn't do it."
I smiled gently, knowing that I've been through the exact same. He flinched again, twice.
"Why do you keep doing that?" I questioned,
"What?" He mumbled, wincing again.
"That. You keep flinching, like you're in pain."
"It's just…hard that all."
Ha, souls were never good liars.
"I know exactly how it is." I told him, trying to comfort him. "To have someone tell you one thing, but it's not what your heart wants. I had to go through that before, but I'm sure you already know that. "
He nodded, "Indeed I do, I know quite a lot about you Wanderer. It's quite amazing actually, all you've been through."
And now, I thought, it seems like I'm on the opposite side of the situation. Now. I know how Jared felt. I know exactly how he hated me, how he despised my every move. How hard it is to watch the one you love, be controlled, to be taken. It's like watching them dye in front of your eyes, but so much worse. Because in a way, they do die. They die, but yet they still walk among us, but it's not them.
It strings so terribly to watch them live on, knowing it's not them. But still every move they make, reminds you of them, but you know that it is not them. To hold them, knowing it's not the same, because it's not him. Every time you long to hold them, you know it's impossible, because they are no longer there. Instead you are being tortured and tormented, as if people purposely did this, just to watch us suffer.
Almost as if the world decided that it was my turn to suffer. It was my turn to have the situation twisted. To see how it felt. And so far world, I don't like it. Not one tiny bit.
Blaze seemed to be in pain for a moment, concentrating on something very hard. His eyebrows pulled down, sweat forming on his forehead, his mouth bent down in a frown. I wondered if he was seeing a memory, like I did before. I remember how the memories seemed so real. The pain was real, everything was real. All the feelings your host went through, you felt. The pain, the misery, the torture, the joys, the happiness, the…love. Then I realized, wondered, mostly, if Blaze felt the way Ian did? Did he…? I remember how it felt, when I saw Jared, when I first met him. How every touch made my skin bubble? I wondered, if it was the same for him. I smiled softly, as I remembered how Melanie would fume against my reactions, how she would be so angry, and how it would always me flinch-
No. Impossible.
"I-Ian?" I whispered brokenly,
"I'm Blaze," He whispered back, "I am sorry."
"N-no, i-is, he t-there?" I asked tears pooling down my cheeks. I didn't really consider that as an option, but still, something about it made everything seem right. Everything seemed to be put together now, everything made sense. Ian was there, I felt it.
"Is he there!?" I demanded, yelling. He flinched at my anger but did not answer.
"ANSWER ME!" I yelled, my voice high.
He dropped his eyes down to the carpet, his mouth closed shut.
Ian's POV.
I watched Wanda, her eyes red from her tears. Her tears which I longed to wipe away. How I longed to wrap my arms around her, and tell her I love her. I wanted to do that, not Blaze doing it for me. This body is no longer mine, it is no longer Ian, now, and it is Blaze. Ian is gone. I am gone. I felt like I was intruding, like some stalker in the background. Everyone going on with their lives, not knowing that someone is watching them. A third wheel. A misfit. I don't belong here. Wanda is a soul, Blaze is a soul. She doesn't even know I'm here!
"Ask her how she escape," I urged Blaze.
And so he did. So here I was, listening to their conversation, letting Blaze run through my memories. So vulnerable, so helpless.
"Wanda," I whimpered,
I watched her through someone else's eyes, and I watched how his words had hurt her. I wished I was there, so badly I wish I was there. I know my pain bother Blaze. Well good. He winced every so often, when my sorrow would flood through us. My thoughts also his. Wanda and Blaze are the same, they are the same. Now I knew, how Melanie felt. To feel so helpless, trapped inside your own body. To want to hold them, but you can't because you can no longer control your own body. We watch our lives pass by. We just stay in here and watch. Watch as the person we love cry, watch as she stares at you the way she would. I wonder if she knows I'm in here, if maybe she just knew, because she loves me.
"Love conquers everything, Ian." She had told me once, "We'll always be together." Always. I stared at her as she talked, her lips trembling every second or so. I sighed with relief that she was safe. That she was okay. Even if I am trapped inside here, I'm glad. I'm glad because my Wanderer is okay. She's alive, she's here. She's here…but not within my reach.
As if a glass wall is placed between us, separating us. But still at the same time forcing us to stare into each other's eyes. To see that the person is there, but we just can't get to them. My sadness grew stronger, and Blaze winced again. Then suddenly, Wanda asked the question that made my heart-if I still had one- explode.
"Ian?" She breathed,
"I'm Blaze." He answered automatically, "I am sorry."
"No is he there?" Her voice was trembling, tears in her eyes.
"YES!" I screamed, "I'M HERE WANDA! I'M HERE!"
Blaze did not answer, he dropped his eyes to the ground, regret creeping up.
"Is he there!?" She yelled, her voice loud, never have I saw her this angry.
"ANSWER ME!" She screeched, her eyes deadly.
He did not.
"ANSWER HER! TELL HER I'M HERE!" I yelled along with her. "TELL HER. NOW!"
Tears gathered in his eyes but he wiped them away. He opened his mouth to speak, his words, and my fate soon following after.
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Hahah, ooo cliffy. Oh and just for the record, no, Wanda is not suicidal. I'm just hating Blaze so for how about you? Also, another tiny favour. Get my stories out there would ya? I wrote another story Perfectly Fine, which I think is pretty good, so please read it and review. And tell people! So far, I am still yet to be discovered. Really, tell people. Please?
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