Thank you for all the pretty reviews! (I love the long ones) I just need to answer a few questions…
Q: Why are the souls in this story so violent?
A: I am obliviously not Stephenie, so I can't really follow by the 'rules' she set for this story. After all it is fanfiction. Basically forget the whole 'souls are friends' deal, what I'm trying to do is not make souls in general evil characters, just the Seekers. I know that first bit to the story seemed too violent to be true, but hey, it's my story and I'm not Stephenie, if you want the real thing, read the book.
Q: Why are so many characters OOC?
A: Stephenie gets full credit for creating the characters, I altered most of their personalities because I need it to click in my story. But really, if you were stuck in their position, wouldn't you be a bit crazy too?
Q: Why does Blaze only center himself on Wanda and himself? Can't he care about the others?
A: I know in The Host, Wanda was able to care for the other humans, like Jamie and such, rather than just Jared. Well, honestly. I didn't look deeply into that topic, what I wanted to focus on was the angst between Wanderer and Blaze, featuring Ian. I'm going to try to go deeper into that…somehow.
Q: How did Blaze hate himself so quickly?
A: I realize that Blaze should be another oblivious soul, and you know, go on living their little soul lives. But the key is Ian. He already lived through that situation, therefore has the common knowledge. I don't know if I mention it a lot in my story, but Ian somewhat tortured Blaze. I purposely tried to portray Blaze's character as something close to 'self centered' I'm trying to make his character something like Chuck is from Gossip Girl, you know, dark, eerie, mysterious, yet entices you at the same time. Then I added my own personal flavours…hahah confusing.
Honestly, I like Blaze. I have a connection with him! Haha! Because he's the only character I created. Also, I know I have so many spelling and punctuation error. I absolutely suck at checking my work. I could reread it over and over, and find nothing wrong. I'm going to try something new though, hopefully it will help.
I am, and will continue to update late. Throw what you want! It won't change anything! Its not my fault though, I'm jam packed. Moving, exams, studying, homework, after school stuff, and I'm majorly behind in school, but it's not like I'm going to change that anytime soon.
Last Chapter (Ch12)
That was all I could bear, my heart could only manage so much. I shut my eyes and tried to zone out of this world. Trying to sleep again even though I wasn't tired. Sleep is my escape to pain, where I can zone out of my body and just float. At least…that's what I used to think. Before all my dreams are filled about her. Sometimes both my dreams and reality torture me to a point where I can't stand it.
When will I ever escape this twisted fate?
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Wanda's POV
"I say we get a Healer." Sunny's monotone voice said. Her eyes staring at me with that dull shine.
"I don't know if he'd really want a Healer, you know with the memories and all." I said slowly as we drove in the car.
"Tell him to suck it up. We need a Healer so we can get the others better. I'm not going to lose them because some bratty soul shows up." She snapped at me, her cheeks blazing red.
"I never said I didn't consider it." I amended softly, blushing. Melanie was right, Sunny wasn't herself. She was rude, she was obnoxious, and a flat out bitch. Melanie said that we should change her name to Tropical Storm, rather than Sunny. And now, I can't help but agree.
She glared at me and turned away, slouching in her seat.
"Let's try the hospital in the next town, that way we can get more medicine and catch a Healer." Melanie suggested from the back seat, her hair tumbling over her shoulders.
"I say we get a girl." Sunny said sarcastically, the first sign of emotion other than anger.
"I'm not getting Blaze a girl, Sunny." I rolled my eyes and kept to the speed limit.
"I'm just saying girls are more patience." She said again in that flat voice. Then she must be of the male gender I suppose, haha I'm so funny. I think the heart is getting to me.
"Blaze isn't patient, whatsoever." I mumbled and made a left into the next town.
"More reasons to get a girl." Sunny muttered and turned away again.
I sighed and made no comment. Life is a bitch. None of us are acting like ourselves; none of us can say that we are the same as we were when we lived back in the caves. We've all changed, some more than others. I really can't say I'm the same sweet, loving, innocent, Wanderer from back at the caves. The girl who thought her life was so perfect, that she so luckily stumbled upon the man she was meant to be with. That even though she was a soul, somehow in a twisted way, she belonged. This experience has taught me the truth. Open my eyes to what I couldn't see before. I don't belong. Not even a single bit. I'm the odd piece to the puzzle. The kind that you have to force in, the kind that doesn't fit naturally. I am not, and never will be, a human. My body may be human, but I am not. I am of a different kind. The deadly type, the type who have no rights or wrongs.
Souls are friends. Souls are kind. That what my life was when I first entered in Melanie's body. But souls aren't kind, they aren't friends. Though, I have to admit. There are souls who are oblivious to the wrongs in these situations. Souls who don't understand what we're doing. Why? Because that's what we're used to. We are already used to the life where we take different host, where we live among different planets, live different lives. I could be like them. I could be, if it weren't for Melanie.
I'm different because I've lived with humans. I've talked with them, I've cared for them, and I love them. My experience with them has changed me and morphed me into what I am today. The odd one out of the humans and the odd ones out of the souls. Where do I fit in?
"Wanda you missed the exit." Melanie said quietly, her words snapping me back from my thoughts.
"Oh," I muttered pathetically. I twisted around into a U-turn, almost falling into a ditch, where I jerked to a stop.
"Watch where you're going." Sunny snapped at me.
"Sorry." I whispered again and hit on the gas, veering us forward onto the road. I turned into the exit that I missed and found that we were in a small town. I didn't bother asking where, nothing like that mattered anymore. When the lives of love ones are at hand, nothing else matters. Nothing at all.
"There should be a hospital just down the road." Melanie said softly. It seemed as if her voice could not go higher than but a whisper. But I can't blame her, pain effects us all, it makes our voices weak, our sight blurred, our hearts broken.
I saw a tall white building appear from within the heat, a building that automatically sent chills up my spine. As it got larger and larger as we approached it, and as did my fear. I was never fond of these tall buildings, filled with souls who aren't like me. I parked in the parking stall, and unlocked the doors.
"Don't we need an injury?" I whispered to Melanie as we walked slowly towards the automatic doors.
She shook her head. "They're holding a free medical training or something. I read it last time we came here. Sunny will sneak into the back while their occupied."
I nodded and felt my stomach twist in knots. The doors parted way as we approached and Melanie and Sunny entered more graciously than I. The lobby was filled with souls, and I saw Melanie go rigid, a scary position for a human. But I was at home. At home in a place I didn't belong. I don't belong anywhere. Not with humans, not with souls. I saw the bright red scar on Melanie's neck, just like mine.
"Don't look anyone in the eye." I whispered to her, "I'll do the talking."
Of course we insisted on leaving Melanie behind but she was persuasive and managed to come with us. A cut on her neck would do for now. The danger of doings this is enormous but she insisted. Sunny looked straight ahead, as if we weren't even here and a Healer strode into the room, a bright smile on her face.
"Welcome everyone!" She exclaimed, smiling proudly. "I am honoured that so many decided to join our introduction class! We'll start off with a quick tour, and then head down to the main lab for further instructions."
There was a murmur of excitement through the crowd and we slowly began to follow her through the hallways of my nightmare. There was so many, no one noticed when Sunny slipped away through an open door, her eyes catching mine for a moment. Melanie's shoulders were tense, and I gripped her hand tightly, telling her it was okay.
"Look at for a reasonable host, Wanda." She reminded me in a low voice. "A Healer."
I nodded slightly and directed my attention to the front. I felt nervous and clammy. My eyes scanned the crowd and noted that most of the crowd was female. I sighed and tried to be calm as we walked through the halls, the words from the Healers mouth never registering in my ears. We were led into a small libratory, where Healers surrounded us with their bright smiling faces, and I tried my best to return them. They gave us a speech on the benefits of being a Healer, their life stories and such. But movement in the corner caught my eye.
A shaggy haired man stumbled into the room; he looked young, maybe around our age with beautiful brown eyes. He smiled at us, but there was something about his smile that was different from the rests, it was warm, true. His eyes suddenly met mine and he smiled wider. A friendly person. Sunny was suddenly at my side, a duffle bag in her possession, and I knew it what it was filled with.
No one could tell what was in her bag, or even that she was missing. I leaned to her and whispered in her ear.
"I think I found our guy." I whispered, and she immediately began to search the crowd. "The Healer." I directed. "In the corner with the shaggy brown hair."
I saw her eyes glaze over and she tensed. I saw he was staring at her too, smiling still. He was a pretty face. Sharp bone structure and a lean body. His brown eyes were warm and bubbly, his hair, falling over his eyes, maybe a few inches taller than Melanie. Just by a single glance at him, you can tell he's sweet; he just has that sweet essence. I think that would be a nice change for Blaze.
"He's cute." She said, blushing. Finally! Emotion!
"He's a Healer too." I added quietly.
"I agree." She whispered, in somewhat a daze. "Good choice."
"Thanks." I replied smugly, and turned my eyes to the front. The Healer's mouth moved but I never heard the words, my mind was fuzzy and excited.
Suddenly, what seemed like hours, there was clapping, and I shook my head and began to clap too. I looked at Melanie from the corner of my eye, and she nodded at me, we headed towards the exit, weaving our way through the crowd. I grabbed Sunny's hand and tugged her along, I was short compared to the rest, but I didn't care, I pushed my way through.
"You snag the bait; we'll wait for you to reel it in." I whispered to Sunny, giving her hand a quick squeeze before letting it go and following after Melanie. We pushed our way through the crowd, almost at the exit where suddenly a Healer stood in front of us, Melanie crashing into her.
She gasped quietly and instantly dropped her eyes to the ground, I felt myself freeze in fright.
"How did you ladies enjoy the program?" She asked brightly, her gray eyes lined with wrinkles. "I hope you two will be returning."
I smiled at her, the best smile I could manage that is. "It was very enlightening, the benefits of a Healer is infinite, a very satisfying passion."
She sighed. "That it is. A beautiful feeling you get. Will you two be signing up for the classes?"
I smiled kindly, and I saw Melanie shift her feet, uncomfortable. "I don't think this is our right path."
"Pity," She shook her head. "We need more help. With all the conflict going on we barely have enough hands."
This surprised me. Souls were never ones to be violent – except the outlaws like myself, and those dreadful Seekers – usually they were all kind.
"Conflicts?" I asked, wide eyed. "What kind of conflicts?"
She looked around for a moment, and then leaned in closer. "Humans. There have been mobs, and fights. The Seekers killed a few of them, but there's still more out there."
My eye sight blurred for a moment, and I wondered which of it was dead. And which of us were on the streets now, hiding. I imagined them hungry, devastated, hopeless. But then again, I wonder whose situation is worse. Back at camp we have people who are dying, and we can't do anything. We just have to watch the life slowly drip out of them.
"Oh my," I commented, trying to swallow the emotion climbing my throat. "We better get going then. We have a long journey ahead of us."
She smiled at us and nodded, I pulled Melanie out the door. She had tears streaming down her face and wiped at them frantically. We tried to walk casually towards our car, but our tense, shaking shoulders stood out from within the mob. We fell into the seats of the car, our faces blank with shock and fury.
"Who?" She wailed quietly. "Why do I always have to wait to find out who of my family is dead!"
She cried loudly into her hands, as I tried to be strong, and hold the tears back. But of course, a few escaped from within my hold. We are so torn. Our family is dying, our family is lost, yet I wonder whose fate is worse. I felt so weak, so helpless, in the situation.
Suddenly a loud knock outside the window drew me back to reality. Sunny waved frantically, her eyes wide, gesturing to an unconscious body below her. I opened the door quickly accidently hitting Sunny in the shin.
"Ow," She commented harshly.
"Sorry." I murmured, and looked down at the man below us. "How in the world, did you manage to do this?"
She raised an eyebrow cockily. "Are you questioning my capability?"
"You're not much taller than I am." I stated almost bitterly. (Is she?)
"There wasn't much to it actually." She shrugged her shoulders.
I sighed and opened the back door. "Help me get him in."
I looked around and noticed that the parking lot was empty. Have we been crying that long? Sunny and I lifted him in gently. Well I lifted him in gently; Sunny all but threw him in. I shut the door and climbed into the driver's seat, turning the car on.
I veered onto the highway as Melanie commented.
"He's cute."
I stared at her from the corner of my eye, but she only shrugged.
"Just commenting." She said, smiling slightly, wiping the remaining tears. She turned to look at Sunny. "What's his name?"
"Rider of the Stars." She answered lightly. (AN: Thank you Piby Weasley)
"Suits him well." Melanie commented. "Do you approve of him, Wanda?"
"I was the one who chose him." I replied, nodding slightly. "I'm sure Blaze wouldn't mind either."
Sunny scoffed and I glared at her through the rear-view mirror, but she only smirked.
"How much did you get?" Melanie asked Sunny.
"Enough," She shrugged. "The bag is full."
Melanie sloughed against her seat, her eyes clouded. "I hope it helps." She said in a weak voice.
"It will," I said softly, my voice cracking. "It has to."
"What if it doesn't?" Melanie insisted, facing me with her teary eyes. "What if it doesn't work? What will we do?"
Tears threatened to spill over, but I ignored them. I have to be strong. I have to pretend. "It will work." I said confidently.
"You don't know that for sure." Sunny said lazily from the back, staring at me through the mirror. "You don't know what you're saying."
I glared at her. "It will."
"It may not." She said, no emotion in her voice. "And if it doesn't. They all die."
Melanie broke out sobbing at her words and I stepped on the brakes angrily, the car jerking to a stop. I twisted in my seat, glowering at Sunny's shocked face.
"What's wrong with you?!" I hissed at her.
"I'm stating a fact." She whispered, her eyes wide.
"Well you're wrong!" I yelled at her angrily. "You're wrong!"
Angry tears spilled in her eyes and she leaned towards me, her fists clenched.
"You know I'm not wrong! You know that our chances are so small! But you don't care!" She screamed at me, her words biting through my skin. "You don't care anything other than your poor innocent Ian, trapped in a stupid body! You don`t care that our family is out there! Our family is dying!
"I don't know where Kyle is." She said, her voice cracking, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I don't know if he's safe. If he's even alive. But you! You have Ian! Your even have Blaze! Have it ever came to you that every time you look at Blaze, and see Ian, that it hurts him? That maybe he has feelings, maybe you should give Blaze a chance!"
Tears spilled over, and I stared at her. "How can you say that?" I whispered, hurt making my throat tight. "That's Ian's body."
"Is this my body?" She asked me rhetorically. "Is that yours?"
"No but –"
"It's the way things are." She hissed. "Only Ian is there. But Blaze is there too. He didn't choose this; he didn't want to fall in love with you. Sometimes things just happen."
"When did you ever like Blaze?" I yelled furiously. "You never approved of him! Don't you tell me what to do because you are the one who's been snapping at me, making things harder than they have to be! You're the one who –"
"Maybe I'm trying to be strong!" She yelled weakly, sobbing into her hand. "Maybe I'm scared."
"We're all scared, Sunny." I whispered irritably.
"Not like I am." She sobbed. "Jared is safe, Melanie. You don't have to worry about him. Ian is here. Where's Kyle? W-Where is he? He's not here! I don't know what happened to him!"
"It still doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do." I insisted, tears still streaming down my face. "I don't love Blaze."
"I'm not asking you to." She whimpered. "Just stop being so hard on him."
"When was I ever hard on him?!" I yelled angrily.
Her head snapped up, and her tear filled eyes met mine. "Every time you touch him. Every time you smile at him. Every time you say his name."
"You want me to stop being nice to him? Is that what you want?"
"I know what it's like when you're not wanted." She told me brokenly. "Kyle was looking for Jodi. He never wanted me! I'm last minute substitution. Second best. Last resort."
"Blaze loves you, that's all. It's not our fault. Kyle never wanted me. He just had to settle for me, but I think maybe, he learned to love me in return. But I'll never know! And all you can do is focus on your little Ian! Did it ever occur to you that Blaze is hurting?" She cried loudly. "I know what it's like to be unwanted."
I bit my lip as her sobs filled the car. "I can't force myself to love him." I whispered finally.
"I know, I'm sorry." She sobbed and I knew it wasn't about Blaze, nor was it about me. It was about her and Kyle. We're all hurting. We lose ourselves at some point. Her sobs were torturing, tearing through my heart. The sound of my friend, so hurt and lost, it was unbearable. I felt so helpless; I wondered how we could ever escape this. If things will ever get better.
I reached over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder calmly, the tears coming to a stop, but the pain still remaining. "It's not your fault."
"I d-don't know where h-he is!" She cried. "I don't know how I can live without him."
"You can." Melanie spoke softly, her eyes streaming with tears as well. "You can, Sunny."
She lifted her head, their eyes meeting. "How do you know?" She whispered.
"Because he still loves you." She answered, smiling at me. "He's still with you now. At least his love is."
Sunny sniffed and rubbed her eyes. "I guess so."
A moment passed between them and I felt the need to look away. I felt uneasy being here, as if I didn't belong. Sunny had a point. I was hurting Blaze more than I realized, and it's time I stopped. I'll just make this procedure and the feelings will go away once he's in another body, the feelings will just disappear.
Right?
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I know there are REALLY out of character, oh well, its not the real deal, its fanfiction. Yay! The other characters shall soon make their grand entrance! But who have already been killed? Who are the survivors? Dun dun dun!
Okay, this is really embarrassing. This is like the most OBLIVIOUS question I'm going to ask for my little helpers our there: How old is Wanda? Melanie? Sunny? Ian? And it would help if I had the age of the other characters…at least the main ones.
Second: PLEASE PLEASE someone describe SUNNY to me! I mean I read the book and I always thought of her as blonde but apparently she's a brunette? True? False? These questions may be really stupid but currently my HOST book is in a freaking box! ALONG WITH THE REST OF MY BOOKS! Which is just driving me CRAZY! (I've just moved)
Third: HOW TALL IS MELANIE? Hahah! I mean not the EXACT height but could you please put the characters in order from tallest to shortest? Not ALL the characters, just the main.
If these questions could be answered it would be really appreciated! It's hard for me to write when I don't know the details about my characters, so I can't describe them well. And truthfully, I am a bigger twilight fan then the host, so I've probably memorized Twilight by now so I don't need help with the characters, but this one is a bit trickier.
By the way, I wrote a really cute Twilight ONE SHOT/SONG-FIC, in my opinion I really like it. It's based on the song What If You? By Joshua Radin.
REVIEW!
