Well, late update, what did you expect? Either way, thanks to everyone who applied for the beta position. I've chosen a wonderful beta that I'm sure will help improve this story. Unfortunately this chapter isn't updated, due to lack of communication. I figured you guys deserved a chapter, proof read or not.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me, especially with my lack of updates. I PROMISE, on my life I will update faster. Inspiration has hit!
Last Chapter (Ch13)
I'll just make this procedure and the feelings will go away once he's in another body, the feelings will just disappear.
Right?
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Blaze's POV
There are only so many words to describe being transferred into another body. Nerve-racking, tingling, floating…weird. My body feels different now. Leaner, somehow, a bit shorter too. I felt my fingers twitch, and someone's hand on my forehead. Yet I couldn't find a way to open my eyes.
But the greatest change of all: silence.
I didn't hear any Ian in my head. No snappy comebacks, ignorant comments, for the first time, I felt at peace. For the first time, I was alone. I wondered why they didn't just kill me, send me off to some different plant and be done with me. No one wanted me, surely. What help am I anyways? The others are dying, slowly; we hear their cries at night. We can all feel the pain hanging in the air, looming over our shoulders, watching our every move.
Then, there is the other part to their family that still remains a mystery. They are out there somewhere, hiding in the world of souls. And all we can do is simply sit here. Sit and wait to find out who of the family is killed off. I wonder which is worse. Having someone, but you know their dying. Or being totally oblivious to someone's death. A part of me says the second choice is the worse. Because you'll act as if nothing is wrong, while a love one is suffering someone out there, and you are unable and unaware to help them. But as I watched the emotions on Wander's face as she held Jamie's face in her tiny hands, I knew the truth.
I don't know how this whole transfer procedure works. I don't know how I'm able to remember so vividly. Souls were never violent, this world was supposed to be peaceful. But as I feel the adrenaline rush through as just the thought of it, I know this is far from peaceful. For we wait to find out who is the first to die in these tents, and who of their family will be found. We are all awaiting death. Yet, the hard part is, that I can't seem to move. All I can do is think, and so far, it's killing me.
I've been accepted by Wanderer, Melanie, and Sunny – Sunny to some extents – so I should feel like I belong. But I don't. Not only as a soul, but as a member. A member of their family. Wanderer and Sunny are like me, and that eases me somewhat. But they have survived together, they lived together, and they suffer together. Who am I to barge in on that? None the less, I remain where I am, because it's all I have left. Because I feel as if though there is a pull, that keeps me bound to this special group of souls and people. Like I am supposed to be here. Like I actually have a purpose.
Sometimes it's hard to explain why I'm here. I am free, I have the choice to walk away once this is completed and I regain control of my new host. But as I lay here, I know I'm meant to be here. I don't know what kind of force it is, I never had a preference. But as I have spent months here on earth in a body, I begin to wonder who created this mess. I've never been one for a higher being, like some supreme force that decides our paths before we even take the first step. But my experience with these people, seeing through suffering, hearing their cries and argument, I think there could be something more. Maybe things aren't set out for you, but at least planned. Like I'm here because I can help. I know I can, I feel it.
So here I am. I've travelled far, and throughout my lives, I never would have thought I'd end up here in this predicament. Just here, paralyzed and alive in a human body. I cannot move, but I want to badly. It's like a heavy force is holding me down, telling me to stay where I am. I feel myself, I feel the host; I just can't control it. I can feel my eyelids covering my eyes, and I want to open them.
"When will he wake?" A quiet voice whispered.
"It usually is quick, or sometimes it takes a while. It depends on the host." Another voice answered.
"The body is empty." A high pitched voice said. "I made sure of it. It's just Blaze now."
"What about Ian?" The quiet voice inquired again.
There was silence; it rang through the room like a deadly poison. It hung in the air, draping over us all like a looming shadow. The name made my hand twitch. No one noticed.
"He hasn't wakened yet," A voice said quietly, and I detected a hidden sadness in the voice.
"He should have," Someone whispered. "It's been a while."
I heard someone sniff. "I know."
"What's wrong, did we do something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong!" Someone shrieked.
I felt a soft touch on my cheek. "Blaze," Someone whispered. "Please wake up."
Wanda's POV
"Please wake up." I whispered, tears cascading down my cheek. He laid motionless on the table, he looked almost dead. I turned my head and saw Ian lying not too far from where Blaze was, and I felt a pain in my chest. I was losing two at the same time. Never have I felt so alone in my life.
I must have done something wrong. Both were showing no signs of life. It was painful. The suspense, the waiting, the constant screams in my head telling me I had killed the two people in the world who dared to love me. I shut my eyes as a tear slipped from the corners, praying that if there really was a God, he'd save an innocent soul, and an innocent human. When I opened my eyes I looked down at my tiny hands, such fragile hands, but all I saw were hands of a murderer. I fell into a chair in the corner of the tent. We had combined two tents together in order to hold both Ian and Blaze.
I remember when everything was normal, and I had gone on raid with Ian, Kyle, and Melanie. We had stayed at a hotel, watched a show about two women who were unable to get their hands dirty. Squealing at the sight of sweat, revolted at the thought of surrendering their perfectly manicured hands to work. They lived a life of luxury, a life where everything was brought to them. I shook my head at their ignorance and egotistical minds. I knew that if they were put into the real world, the world would savagely devour over them. But of course that's too gory to put on TV these days, the whole nonviolent souls cover. I have seen things that will haunt me. I have fought my own kind, spat in their faces, and taunted their nature.
Nothing, no matter what planet we conquer next – though I pray that the next victims will not be as frail – will be immune to imperfection. As souls, we've had our good share of lives. Plant to planet we'd live, never once could anything be able to conquer us. Earth, this fragile little planet, full of humans with soft skin and breakable bones, was able to get under our skin. I looked over at Ian and felt a wave of emotion wash over me. Humans, no matter how strong we souls can claim to be, are able to weaken us. I am but a victim of this. Fallen head over heels for a man, forfeiting my eternity, my immortality. But I do it willingly; I'd give anything, even my own life for this man to have his.
Ian did not move. I stared at him, my eyes bearing into him, piercing through him. I dared him to move, I wanted him to regain his body and return to me. I sat up slowly, moving with timid steps towards Ian, no longer both Ian and Blaze, but just my Ian. Forever to hold in my arms, and eternally mine. I breathed a sigh of relief because I knew that once Blaze awakened his feelings for me would vanish. Like this air it would leave him, just as it did for Jared.
Jared.
His name nipped at my heart. My brother, my friend, my support, gone. But I cannot mourn for him, because as I told Melanie, he is in a better place. A place I hope I have a chance at, no matter where it is. I reached Ian, and I felt tears brim in my eyes. I exhaled a shaky breath, and slowly reached out and held his face tenderly in my hands.
This was my Ian. The man I love, and cherish. I ran my fingers through his hair softly, relishing at its softness and feeling. I smiled sadly, and shut my eyes. I did not want to open them and find my unresponsive Ian. I squeezed them shut and searched for a better time. I scanned my memories before finally resting upon one.
I always wondered what memories were. I heard it was once said that memories are our only way of time travel. For we lose ourselves to the emotion and time held within our minds. We ran away from the present and dance around in the past with no care. We relive moments we've been through, sometimes painful times and sometimes gleeful ones. I do not know how the beautiful art of memories work, but I'm glad. Though I do have things I never want to see, I also have moments that I never want to lose. My last hold at sanity and peace of mind.
I tried to reach the bar of soap perched at the top of the ledge that pierced out of the stone walls. I stood on my toes, my fingers only grazing the smooth texture. I narrowed my eyes and reached further, my eyebrows furrowed in concentration. It was unreasonable how incapable I am of doing the smallest responsibilities. Like reaching the bar of soap for example. I sighed in frustration and dropped back into my heels and glared upwards at the impossible task. My lack of height made the world a much more complicated place, also my weak body made my only possible job around these caves, laundry and the occasional cooking. But even laundry was a challenge! Everyone remembered to put the soaps low so I would be able to reach them, but someone so carelessly forgot this time, leaving me to this predicament.
I huffed and took the woven basket that sat next to me and turned in upside so I was able to step upon the sturdy side. I stepped up cautiously upon the basket, testing my weight. I knew it was going to holding me, seeming how I weighed very little. I balanced atop of it then tried once more to reach that bar of soap that taunted me. I reached up and grasped my hand around the soap. I grinned victoriously and held the soap firmly in my hand.
"Wanda?"
I cry of surprise escape my lips and I lost my balance, tumbling backwards to the cold hard ground. I braced myself of impact, the soap falling from my hand. Stupid, tiny, little, unreasonable, body. I shut my eyes and awaited the sharp pain of the ground when it would collide with my frail body.
But instead I found myself in large, strong arms. I opened one eye hesitantly and found myself staring at Ian's grinning face. I then opened both eyes and glared at him, my eyes met his icy blue ones and I was lost in the waves. I floated out to sea, losing the security of land. I shook myself out of my daze and narrowed my eyes. He helped me to my feet chuckling softly.
"You made me fall," I pouted.
He grinned boldly. "Actually, I think I caught you."
I huffed and turned away from him, scanning the ground for the missing bar of soap. Ian place a hand on my shoulder and opened his palm, revealing the soap sitting in his hand. I sighed and reached with my tiny hands to grab the some from his large ones.
"Thanks," I muttered and held the soap firmly in my hand, glaring at it. This stupid little soap, the cause to such chaos.
"No problem," He said cheerily, obliviously entertained in my mental battle with such a futile object.
I crouched down by the small stream and proceed my simply task of laundry.
"More laundry?" Ian remarked in surprise, sitting down next to me as I worked.
"It's all I'm good for," I said quietly, and tried to focus on my task.
"Not everything," He replied, smiling softly. His boyish grin sent free the butterflies in my stomach and I bit my lip. He reached out tenderly and stroked my soft cheek. My eyes darted to his, and I was overwhelmed by the emotions held within them. He leaned forward very slowly, his eyes never leaving mine for a moment. I heard him intake a breath, and the clothing fell from my hands, landing in the water with a splash. Our lips hovered just inches away, as if hesitant yet passionate. He shut his eyes and leaned forward to feel the remaining space that made us ache.
I could almost taste him when a cough came from behind us. We whirled around to find a very amused Melanie and a grinning Jared. My eyes fell towards their entwined hands and I felt happy that my sister was no longer separated by my presence. Melanie gave me knowing look.
"Well, Wanda. If you didn't want to do the laundry, you certainly didn't have to." She said, grinning.
I blushed a furious red, and allowed my blond tendrils of hair to cover my embarrassed face. I heard Ian laugh beside me, and I glared at him, playfully.
"N-No," I mumbled and reached in the water to pick up the shirt I had dropped. "I want to."
Melanie laughed. "Oh, I'm just teasing. You should have seen both of your faces."
With that both she and Jared walked out into another hallway, hand in hand. I stared after them, a certain feeling tugging at my heart. I watched as these two humans loved each other with such passion. I dropped my eyes and bit my lip, turning back to my task. I looked at my reflection in the water.
Ian was doing the same, and when he caught my eye in the small stream, he smiled at me. Our reflections were blurred by the rushing water, but I could still make out that one detail that nipped at my heart. I stared at Ian's eyes, so pure, and so innocently beautiful. They pierced through me; they snapped me like a twig. I then turned my attention to my own. Beautiful, sure. But the silver stream that surrounded the pupil screamed at me. It called me a freak, an outsider. I felt tears cloud my eyes as I compared both our eyes. The natural beauty present within Ian's wondrous eyes, and the monstrous imposer in my own.
"What's wrong?" Ian said, his husky voice surprised and alarmed. He reached over and wiped a lone tear from my cheek and I turned to look into his eyes. As much as they stunned me, they filled me with pain because it was but a reminder of how I was not right.
"Why can't I be normal?" I whispered, my eyes blinking quickly. "It would be so much easier."
"You are normal," He answered, but I shot him a look, and he turned sullen. "Maybe not normal, but who is?"
"You," I pointed at, and looked away. "Every single human being on earth."
"Your human too, Wanderer." He whispered.
I snorted. "Please," I said sarcastically. "My host may be, I, am not."
He messaged his face in frustration. "We already went through this Wanderer."
I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. "I don't want you, ever, ever to be human."
I shut my mouth, and stared at him in confusion…and slightly offended. "Why? Wouldn't it be easier? Wouldn't it make us so much more sim-"
"If you and I were both normal," He whispered with intensity. "How boring would that be? It's the little imperfections that make you beautiful. Soul or human."
I relaxed and felt a sudden rush of love run through me. Why did he have to be so romantic? He grinned with satisfaction and finally leaned forward, pressing his lips against my own.
I knew then, that even though I didn't fit in, there was one place I always had a home. A place no matter what the circumstances, I had a place reserved from me.
As his hands ran through my hair, I glided my hand and placed it where we both knew that home was. Sliding along his shoulders, over his neck, and down his chest, my hand found its destination. Resting just above the thumping and rapid beating that I felt under my touch, like the buzz of a humming bird's wings. My own beat in the same rhythm as his. I found home.
I opened my eyes and pulled myself out of the memory. I touched my cheek and realized I had tears streaming down my face. I brushed them away with the back of my hand and then looked down upon Ian. What I found stabbed into my heart once more. No change. I turned to look at Blaze, his floppy brown hair falling over his face, still no change. My insides screamed in pain and I returned to my usual seat at the corner of the room, removing my hand from Ian's cheek.
I sank into the chair, and buried my head in my hands. One of the worse pains of all is waiting. The torture of minutes ticking by, life continuing on as you sit and wait. All you can do is hope. I faintly heard the voices of Sunny outside the tent, your quick words but blurs in my ear. I head Melanie respond softly.
"I don't think it's suppose to take this long." Melanie whispered. "It should be quick."
"I don't understand it," Sunny replied. "Why must everything be so complicated?"
"I don't know," Melanie croaked. "Let's go check on the others."
I heard their footsteps fade away, but the wind still carried their voices towards me.
"Should we get Wanda?" Melanie asked.
There was a moment of silence, and I listened intently. "No," Sunny mumbled. "She needs to be there right now."
"It must be so hard," Melanie remarked softly. "It seems like we've hit rock bottom."
"There is no rock bottom for us." Sunny said, "Rather a bottomless hole."
"It never stops does it?"
"Never." Was the answer.
I shut my eyes painfully and tried to drown out their voice. I sobbed into my hands quietly. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shake both of their shoulders and demand they wake up and return to me. Order them to awake and regain life, direct them to hold me so I won't fall apart. So cruel this twisted fate that I live in. Such a horrid life, every single step we take, hoping to regain happiness, leads us further and further away from security and we are lost in this whirl of problems. We are stuck in this hole and instead of going upwards, we are just digging ourselves in deeper.
Is there ever an escape? Freedom from this torturous pain? I imaged my family returning, remarkably showing up at camp. Sunny will have Kyle again, and Melanie will regain her relatives. Those who are on their sickbeds, awaiting death, so close to never opening their eyes again, will get better. And then Ian will open his eyes, and I will looking into them and feel that emotion I have been longing for. Blaze will open his, and we shall be one family once more. Hope is a hard thing to maintain when you are in the midst of desperation. Where everything turns to gray and every sound turns into a bitter scream. Pain that has you on your knees, begging for mercy. I needed for them to awake; I need to see their eyes again. I wanted to talk to Blaze, have him help us with the others since his host was a healer. I want to hold Ian once more, and know that it is him who holds me in return. Then in the middle of my rant, a single voice pierced through the room. Just one voice.
"Wanderer?"
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Ah ha. So who is it hmm? May I just have a show of hands who wants it to be Ian and who wants it to be Blaze? I'm still torn between who I should awaken. I do miss Ian though. You know Wanderer's memory? The whole too short for soap thing, yup true story. I couldn't reach the damn soap, only the difference is that I didn't have anyone to catch me, just dropped to the ground. I'm 4'11, and Wanda is about…5'4? At least that's what you guys said, if THAT'S short, then what am I? Haha =)
So I promise to update quicker! But while you wait, I have created a Two-Shot, which I think, is pretty good.
Second Chance:
"That's why Edward, Heaven is giving you a second chance." – Edward is given a second chance at eternity with Bella. Only he will have to make a choice that will forever change Bella's life. Their love is tested. TWO-SHOT. Based in New Moon
Please review – at least vote who I should revive hmm? They help me decide faster.
