For the next two weeks, Adam spent almost every minute of his life with Jeff. And honestly, he had never been happier. The Charismatic Enigma had filled a void in his life that he hadn't even realized had been there before. It didn't take him long to realize that he didn't just love Jeff; he had fallen completely in love with the man. And in his mind, there was only one thing that he should do next. There was really only one logical thing to do. But that logical thing was going to get him shot by Matt Hardy, so he needed some protection.
"Hey Randy, where can I get a bulletproof vest and helmet?" he asked. He and Randy were sitting in a Subway together. Jeff and Cody had been there to, but they had run to the gas station next door to buy some candy.
Randy frowned. "Why would you need those things?"
"I want to propose to Jeff."
That led to the Legend Killer nearly choking on his sandwich. "Don't you think you're moving a little fast?" he asked as he regained his breath.
"Maybe, but I don't care. I'm fucking head over heels for him Randy, but if I propose, I am going to get shot by Matt."
"Just don't tell Matt."
Adam frowned. "How would I keep something like this from Jeff's self appointed body guard? He'll see the ring and then probably kill me."
Randy nodded. "Okay, I see your point. You might want to buy a bullet proof cup for your nuts while you're at it too. He might shoot those off just to torture you."
Adam looked down at his crotch and whimpered. "My poor boys," he said sadly. "They've never done anything wrong."
"Okay, that was mildly disturbing to listen to and watch," Randy said slowly. "I'm not sure if I've ever seen a man talk to his own crotch before." He shook off that little weirdness from Adam and tried to get serious for a minute. "Maybe you should ask Matt how he would feel about you marrying Jeff."
Adam snorted. "Yeah, that will end terribly Randy. Either Matt will kill me for even suggesting it, or Jeff will scream at me because that's insinuating Matt owns him."
"But I don't think Jeff knows what insinuating means."
"Yes he does. He's not stupid Randy…he just pretends to be sometimes so Matt won't be on his case quite as much."
"Well just go by him a damn ring and propose, and just run from Matt if he goes for a gun."
"You're coming with me though."
"Why?"
"I can't do this on my own. I'm nervous."
"But what will we do with Cody and Jeff? We just can't leave them alone."
"There's a carnival in the mall parking lot today. We can just leave them there while we go in and get the ring."
Randy looked horrified. "You want to leave the two of them alone at a carnival? Are you insane?"
Adam sighed. "Well what else are we supposed to do Randy? I want to do this as soon as possible before I let the thought of Matt killing psych me out."
Jeff and Cody finally came back. They had three plastic sacks full of candy with them now. "What are you guys talking about?" Jeff asked as he sat down next to Adam. "Is it a secret? Can you tell me?"
"Actually, Randy and I have to pick something up at the mall," Adam told him. "And we were thinking that you and Cody could go to the carnival out there while we pick it up."
Jeff frowned. "Why can't I help you pick it out?"
"Because it's a present for you."
"Really?" Jeff started bouncing up and down in his seat. "I like presents!"
Cody rolled his eyes. "Oh God, why do I have to be alone with him at a carnival? He's going to kill me Randy!"
Randy patted his shoulder sympathetically. "I'm sorry baby. I would help you out, but evil Adam is making me come with him."
Adam flipped him off and then the four of them were off to the mall. It was absolutely crowded because of the carnival, but Adam managed to find a parking space at the very end of the parking lot. "Now you two behave!" he yelled as Jeff dragged Cody towards the ticket booth. "Don't get into any trouble!"
"I can't believe you're making me help you with this," Randy muttered as he followed Adam into the mall. "I hate shopping!"
"Why? Shopping can be fun."
"Well if I don't come out with something for Cody now, he's going to get all pissy at me. And if he's pissy at me, my chances of getting laid tonight go right down the drain."
Adam considered that. That was a good point. "Well we'll stop and pick him up something before we leave. First we're getting the ring."
They went into the jewelry store and started looking around. It didn't take Adam long to find the perfect ring. It was a gold ring that had diamonds encrusted all around it. "That one," he said. He started poking at the glass like a maniac. "I need that one."
Randy came over (he was now holding a diamond watch that was probably meant for Cody) and looked at it. "Damn Adam. If Matt kills both you and Jeff for this, I can make a fortune off that ring."
Adam slugged his friend on the arm and had one of the store employees get the ring for him. He paid for it and then he and Randy headed back outside to the carnival. It took them awhile, but they found Jeff and Cody playing some of the games. They both had their faces painted like tigers and Jeff had a gigantic stuffed hippo with him. "What you get me? What you get me?" Jeff asked as Adam approached him.
Adam grinned. "I'll show you later. This isn't the right time."
"Why not?"
"It's a romantic present."
Jeff's eyes widened. "Furry handcuffs?"
"Uh no, it's better than that."
Randy frowned. "How are furry handcuffs romantic?"
"Because they're furry and they don't rub my wrists all raw like regular handcuffs," Jeff explained.
Cody shook his head. "I didn't need to hear that. I really didn't need to hear that."
Adam laughed as he put his arm around Jeff. The ring was safe in his pocket for the moment, and it would stay there until the opportunity to propose properly presented itself later that night. Now he just had to hope Matt wouldn't kill him for it. Maybe I'll have Hunter make him die of embarrassment first. That would make my life so much easier.
