Adam hated to admit it, but he was impressed with the sheer number of people Hunter got to come to the bachelor party. Besides Shane, Shannon, Ashley and Amy, there was Hunter himself, Shawn, Evan, Trish, Victoria, Natalya, Mickie, Miz, Morrison, Randy, Cody, Ted, John, Phil, Mark, Glenn, Mickie, Jay, Tommy, JTG, Shad, Eve, Melina, Rob Van Dam, Primo, Carlito, Stephanie, Andrew (the producer of the Hardy Show) and Matt and Jeff's long time friends Marty Garner and David "Kimo" Clutter. "How the hell did you throw this together on such short notice?" he asked Hunter as he ate some chips. They were outside at Matt's house, having themselves a nice little barbeque. Nothing outrageously inappropriate had happened yet, but the party had only started a half hour ago, so there was still plenty of time for Hunter to pull out a few surprises.
Hunter shrugged. "I'm just fucking amazing like that." He put his arm around Adam's shoulders. "Although, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure how to plan a bachelor party when two of the future in-laws used to date and two hate each other's guts. It was very weird for me to do."
Adam nodded along. "Yeah, but do you want to know what could have possibly made this less awkward? Not inviting Amy. I mean, I'm still her friend and all, but she's kind of the reason Matt and I had our falling out."
"Well duh, I know that," Hunter said with a dramatic sigh. "I'm not stupid Adam. But Shannon blabbed the news to her and I figured that since she already knew, why not just invite her to the bachelor party? She's still our friend and her and Ashley want to celebrate Matt's sudden gayness."
Adam's response to that was cut off by Trish running over and knocking the wind out of him by giving him a hug. "Oh my God, I'm so happy for you guys!" she squealed. "Jeff said I could be his bridesmaid! Isn't that great?"
"I…can't…breathe…" Adam gasped out.
She let him go and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just couldn't help myself."
"It's okay," he assured her. "Just--"
"Oh my God!" Shawn yelled. "Fire! Fire! Matt, there's a fire!"
"Shawn, step away from my grill!" Matt ordered. "I'll handle this."
Adam turned to Hunter and shook his head. "Your boyfriend is such a ditz."
Hunter nodded. "Yeah, but he's got such a tight little ass on him that I can forgive him for it."
Adam got a few mental pictures in his head and immediately had to walk away from the Cerebral Assassin and go over to the bar that had been set up by Matt's hot tub. "I need a drink," he told Shane, who was playing bartender at the moment. "Actually, give me two just to be safe."
"Okay then," Shane said. He poured the drinks and handed them over. "Where did Jeff run off to? I thought he would be joined to you at the hip like usual."
Adam pointed to some trees off in a distance. From their spot on the porch, they could see Jeff and Shannon having a sword fight with a couple of branches. "I'm not getting in the middle of that," he told Shane. "Those two are going to end up hurting someone besides themselves."
Shane winced as Jeff accidentally caught Cody on the side of the head as he was swinging his branch. "Ouch, he's going to have a nasty bump later on."
Adam chuckled and then took a bottle of vodka and just drank right out of there. He was officially planning on getting totally shit faced tonight. The way he rationalized it was that since Phil wasn't drinking due to him being straight edge, he had to drink for the both of them. "Oh look, Randy is going over there to yell at them for hurting his baby. Now just give it a few minutes and Jeff will be coming over to tell me how mean Randy is being to him."
Sure enough, just moments later, Jeff was doing just that. "Addy, Randy yelled at me!" he whined. "Hit him!"
"Maybe later," Adam said. He handed Jeff the vodka. "Just drink up. If we can stand on our own two feet by the end of tonight then we are miserable failures."
Jeff giggled as he did what he was told. The party went on for another hour without too many more incidents. Then a drinking game got started. And with the with the exception of Phil, everyone got shit faced. Shot after shot was consumed, and the last four standing in the contest were Adam, Matt, Jeff and Chris. Adam was three sheets to the fucking wind by then, and he started missing his mouth as he tried to drink. "Why do my shirt steal my drink?" he asked Tommy. "That bad."
Tommy shook his head and took Adam's drink away from him. "Honestly, I think it's a good thing at this point. You are so fucking drunk."
Adam giggled insanely. He tried to regain control of himself but he couldn't. He stumbled and fell into Chris, which brought him out of his nearly passed out stupor. "Ouchie…Copeland…asshole," Chris slurred out.
Jeff rubbed his tummy. "My belly don't want no more," he whined. "It full."
Matt raised his arms in victory. "That means I win! I am…"
"Matt Hardy, pig fucking champion," Hunter finished for him.
"Matt Hardy, pig fucking champion!" Matt yelled loudly.
Marty burst out laughing. "Now that is just cruel."
JTG and Shad came from the front yard and they were dragging three giant cakes with them. "Ooooh, cake!" Jeff shouted happily. He started to run towards it, but fell down about halfway down. "Fuck! The ground hurt my knee!"
Adam tried to go over to Jeff, but he was so startled by people jumping out of the cakes that he fell backwards and had to be caught by Matt. Jeff squealed in delight and got to his feet. "Strippers! We have strippers!" He started dancing with the strippers as they began removing their clothes, completely oblivious to the stares he was getting, the giggles the girls were sharing or the fact that Hunter, Kimo, Shannon and Ted were all filming it.
Chris chuckled and joined Jeff. "Come on Matt!" he drunkenly. "Dance with us and the strippers! They like us!"
Matt not so nicely shoved Adam away before joining the impromptu dance party. Adam almost fell down, but was caught by Randy just in time. "Maybe you should sit down," the Legend Killer suggested.
"And maybe you should just go drown in grass," Adam replied. He pulled himself out of Randy's grasp and walked over to Jeff. "Jeffey! Don't love the strippers more than me! The strippers will steal you from me and I'll be sad!"
Jeff giggled and put his arms around the blonde. "Don't worry Addy. I won't let the strippers take me away. I's luz you too much for that."
Adam grinned and kissed Jeff sloppily. He felt Jeff pressing his groin up against his, and it made his so damn horny. Feeling more than a little frisky, he quickly started dragging Jeff into the house. "Need to be in you," he excitedly. "Want to fuck you. Will fuck your brains out."
Jeff nodded along. "Yup. You fuck me brains out. I will have no brains." He giggled and nearly tripped while they went upstairs. "I think we're being followed Addy."
Adam didn't really care about that at the moment. He just opened up the first door he saw and dragged Jeff in there. But before he could get the door shut, Matt and Chris barged into the room. "What?" Adam said in confusion. "Why are you here?"
"My room," Matt grumbled. "This is my room. I have sex here, not you!"
Adam blinked a few times and looked around. He was so drunk that he really didn't recognize the room he was in at the moment. "Oh. Well you join us then."
Matt stared at him dumbly. "What?"
Jeff gave Adam a look before nodding eagerly. Needing no more encouragement, Adam grabbed Matt by the shirt and gave him a rough kiss. In what was a shocking turn of events (none of them could realize it of course), Matt didn't punch Adam right in the face. In fact, he responded by kissing the blonde back. Adam groaned as he was pushed back against the wall. Matt was totally dominating him at the moment, which was completely new to him. He had always been the dominant one when it came to this stuff.
"Wow, that is so hot," Jeff muttered.
"Yeah," Chris agreed. "It's amazing."
Matt broke the kiss and looked over at the spectators. "Did anyone say the two of you could just stand there?" he asked. "Get your asses over here right now."
"Yeah," Adam said with a nod.
"Shut up Copeland."
Adam began to pout, but that didn't last long. Jeff and Chris walked over to them and things began to get confusing. Hands started going everywhere and it was hard to tell who was touching who. Adam knew he kissed everyone at least a couple of times, and as they started stumbling to the bed, he knew that not only was he kissing Jeff, but he had a hand pulling Matt's hair and another groping Chris.
Somehow, they all managed to get their clothes off before they got on to the bed completely. Adam's mind started fading in and out a little bit, so while one minute he was watching Chris and Matt go at it, the next he and Jeff were doing it. It wasn't until Matt started fucking the hell out of him that he managed to remain somewhat conscious and coherent. "OW! Gentle you lug!" he shouted angrily.
Matt grabbed him by the hair and yanked on it roughly. "No gentle. We fuck rough, you dying llama."
"Fuck you fucker," Adam replied. He looked over at Jeff, who was getting fucked by Chris. "You like that Jeffey?" he asked. "You like Chris's cock?"
Jeff whined and clawed at Chris's back. "Want you too Addy," he moaned. "I want you and Chris both in me."
What happened next showed just how drunk Matt really was. Sober Matt would have killed everyone who wanted to go double anal on Jeff. Drunk Matt actually shoved Adam towards Jeff and helped position Adam's dick at the already stuffed entrance. Without too much warning, Matt thrusted back into Adam, which in turn caused Adam to enter Jeff. Everybody groaned, especially Jeff. He shut his eyes tightly and hissed in pain, but Adam also heard the all too familiar mewl that meant Jeff had actually liked that.
"Damn," Chris said. He was trying to regain his breath. "My dick is getting choked so bad right now."
Jeff threw his head back and rested it on Adam's shoulder. "Fuck me," he moaned. "Please, fuck me, tear me, bleed me, just move already!"
Adam kissed Jeff's neck as Chris and Matt set the pace. The sensations that were overtaking him were overwhelming, to say the least. He reached down and started stroking Jeff's dick in time with the thrusts. None of them were going to last long. They were all too far gone to try to prolong anything.
It was hard to tell who came first. Adam thought it might have been Jeff because he felt his fiance's warm, sticky seed on his hands, but the face Chris could have meant that he did. All Adam knew was that he came when Matt did, and he collapsed in exhaustion afterwards. "Fuck," he muttered as he pulled Jeff into his arms.
"Mmmhmmm," Jeff mumbled as he closed his eyes.
Adam chuckled and closed his eyes. He could have sworn he had heard somebody talking on the other side of the bedroom door, but he didn't think too much about it. He was too tired to care. Right now, he was going to pass out, and nobody was going to stop him.
