Matt woke up with the worst hangover of his life. It literally felt like someone had strapped him down to a table and had beaten his head over and over again with Hunter's sledgehammer. He tried to keep his eyes shut because it felt like he was going to die when he opened them. But eventually, even keeping his eyes closed didn't help because the light coming in from the windows was too much. So he opened his eyes and his headache suddenly became even worse--but it wasn't because of the hangover. It was because of the state he had woken up in. He was not just naked in bed with Chris, because that wouldn't have bothered him. He woke up like that every morning. No, he was also naked in bed with Adam and Jeff. And they were also naked. He was naked in a bed with his brother and the most annoying man on the planet. "What the--" he started to remember the foursome. It all came rushing back at once and once he replayed it in his head a couple of times, he did the only thing he could do.
He screamed like he was getting killed in a horror movie.
"OW!" Adam groaned as he, Chris and Jeff all woke up. He rubbed his temples gingerly before turning to glare at Matt. "Why did you scream?"
Jeff looked at all of them before looking down at himself. "Why am I naked and covered in cum? And why is my ass so s--" His eyes widened and his mouth fell open in surprise. "HOLY SHIT!"
Chris groaned in pain but nodded. "Yeah, that about covers it."
Matt rolled out of bed just to get away from where the travesty had taken place. "How could I fuck you?" he asked Adam. "How could I think that was a good idea?" He glared at Jeff and Chris. "How could you guys let me do that? Did you both go insane?"
"I was drunk!" Chris said defensively. "I didn't know what the hell was going on! All I know is that Adam said you and I should join him and Jeff and then you and him kissed and things just went nuts from there."
Jeff tried to sit up, but he just whimpered in pain. "My ass hurts really bad," he complained. "I don't think double anal was such a good idea. I'm not going to be able to walk right for the rest of the day."
Adam sighed and slugged Chris on the chest.
"OW!" Chris yelped. "What was that for?"
"Who told you that you could fuck my fiancé? He's mine, not yours! You had him and then you gave him up for the ugly fucking bastard who's going to get his ass kicked for fucking me last night."
Matt stared at Adam incredulously. "Okay, you HAVE to still be drunk, because no sane person would ever say I was ugly."
Adam glared at him as he rolled out of bed. He winced in pain as he did this. His ass had to still be hurting from the fucking Matt had given it. "I am going to throttle you," he growled. "I am going to wrap my hands around your neck and squeeze until you--"
"Aw, the love birds have woken up! How romantic!"
The "love birds" in question all looked over to see that Hunter was grinning at all of them. "Oh God, does everyone know?" Jeff asked.
Hunter nodded happily. "This was the best bachelor party ever. Not only did we all get videos of you all dancing with strippers, but we have video proof of your foursome and we will dangle it over your heads for the rest of your lives."
Matt felt the blood drain out of his face. "Tell me you are lying Hunter. Tell me that is some sick and perverted joke only you find funny."
Hunter smirked. "I could tell you that Hardy, but that would be the lie and I'm trying to cut back on that." He chuckled. "Don't worry. We won't actually show the video to anyone else unless you really force our hand."
Jeff groaned and put his face in his hands. "We're going to be forced to do humiliating things, aren't we?"
"Hey! I never said that! What kind of person do you think I am?" Hunter asked. He looked out into the hallway. "That's going to be more of Ted and Randy's deal. "They're assholes like that you know." He started to back out of the room. "Oh and Matt, you should probably know in advance that your house has been completely trashed. The party kind of kept going after your foursome and things got a little out of hand."
A little out of hand proved to be the exaggeration of the year. It literally looked like a tornado had hit Matt's house. Furniture was overturned everywhere, the kitchen was flooded because someone had left the sink on, the food had been eaten, a small hole was now in the living room ceiling and someone had taken the liberty of throwing toilet paper absolutely everywhere. People were passed out everywhere, and little Lucas was taking the liberty of climbing all over each and every single one of them.
"Oh my God," Matt said in disbelief. "This is going to take all day to clean up."
"Yeah," Adam said. He patted Matt on the back. "Good luck with that." He grabbed Jeff and tried to make a hasty exit.
Chris grabbed the two of them and stopped them before they went too far. "You are two are not going anywhere," he said. "You and the rest of the crazy people in this house are going to stay right here and help us clean up."
"Except for me," Hunter said. "I get out of this, don't I guys?"
Matt glared at him. He was in no mood for the Game's antics. "You know what? I know you want to hold that tape over us and all that fun stuff, but we can easily just as tell Shawn about the time we found you dream talking and you kept moaning Randy's name over and over again."
Hunter's jaw dropped. "You can't do that! Shawn will get pissed!"
"And do you think we care?" Matt asked.
Hunter's shoulders slumped in defeat. "You are evil Matt Hardy," he grumbled.
"I know I am. Now start waking people up and get this place to start looking like my house again. I have something to say to Chris and the two stooges."
"Hey!" Adam and Jeff said at the same time.
Chris rubbed his temples. "Hey, stop with the yelling. That hurts my head."
Matt looked at all three of them very carefully, wanting to make sure he had their complete attention. "We are going to pretend that last night did not happen," he informed them. "This is the only conversation I want to have about it. Last night was a stupid, drunken mistake that we will never make again."
"You're damn right about that," Adam muttered. He put his arms around Jeff. "My baby has Y2J germs and I have Matt germs. We're going to have to go to a doctor just to make sure we haven't caught anything."
Matt and Chris glared at him. "We do not have diseases," Matt growled. "And if anyone here needs to get checked, it's me. I'm the one who fucked you after all."
Jeff put his hands on his hips. "Matthew Moore Hardy, are you implying that it's Adam who has the disease?"
"Oh, so he can imply that I have one but I can't imply that he has one?"
"Yes. Don't you understand how this works yet?"
"You tell him Jeff," Adam said.
Chris rolled his eyes. "Shut up Copeland. This is your fault anyway. You told us to join you and now you're bitching because we did."
"We are not bitching!" Jeff whined.
Matt held up his hands. "Enough! I'm not dealing with this! Just tell me we're in agreement about not talking about this ever again."
"Yes," Adam said immediately. "I agree.
"Me too," Jeff nodded.
Chris also nodded.
Matt sighed. "Good. Now let's help the evil people clean up and just get through these weddings. The sooner these are over, the happier we'll all be."
