So! I think this may just be the penultimate chapter of Finding Tobi! Has anyone been wondering where Pain was, and when he would appear? Because it's about to be revealed! Sorry I took so long in getting this chapter out. I had a lot of shit happen this past week, and I originally planned for this to be out on Sunday. I won't go into any detail about that, but I will say expect a bit of a wait between this and the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoy this
Orange

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, Mary Poppins or anything Disney related.


Screw being God. Pain had found a better calling in his life. The people in this city all spoke with adorable little accents. He could put up with them calling him Bert all day long. Why could he put up with this?

Well for starters, he seemed to have every single skill he wanted. Work was easy and he earned money any way he wanted to. If he wanted to draw on the street with chalk, he could; if he wanted to sweep chimneys and hold rooftop dance contests, he could; and if he wanted to become a one man band (and make no mistake Pain always entertained the idea of being a one man band) then he could. It was the life! Not to mention he was never short of friends. People who were actually pleased to see him had entered his life now.

There were no incessant whines, constant arguments, money worries, bomb worries or any of the troubles he had as part of the Akatsuki. Sure, he'd miss Konan, but since coming here there was this new woman called Mary, and she seemed to be pretty interested. Overall life was pretty sweet for the Akatsuki leader.

He chuckled to himself as he scooped a helping of roasted chestnuts into a paper bag for a customer. He twisted the bag closed and accepted the few copper coins from the man, who nodded to him and walked on. It turned out Tobi's idea may have been a good one after all. He didn't really care too much where his team had gone. Had he admitted that out loud to anyone else, he would live to regret it.


Konan held her head high. The ragtag group of assassins had been procuring dirty looks and whispered remarks the entire time they'd been in this city. After passing through its industrial sector they were now in the midst of the suburbs. All around them men wore suits, and women dresses in overly long, formal dresses. It was all very prim and proper. Konan didn't really care much for this, but what she did mind was that she, of all the people in her group was the one getting the worst remarks,

"Must be one of those suffragettes."

"Those women should know their place,"

"How dare she wear such things"

She found it astounding that people were complaining about her leggings when she was with Deidara and Hidan of all people. Itachi had reverted to his invisibility as the strolled by the large fencing of what appeared to be a leafy green park. Strangely enough, nobody seemed to notice that Kisame had blue skin, nor Suigetsu's clothing. As for Zetsu, she couldn't fathom how they were getting away with that one. Perhaps the people thought they were from the circus or something. Kakuzu's behaviour had become very strange indeed. After realising his new toy was something he could threaten Hidan with he took to rolling around objects and jumping at people, pointing the gun in their faces and laughing maniacally. And the others thought he was the mature one.

"Who do you think we will find in this world?" Sasori spoke quietly from the young woman's side. Kisame had heard him ask and put forward his opinion.

"I hope its Itachi!" the shark man grinned. Beside him, the invisible dragon made a clicking noise. "Yes Elliott! I'm excited too!" Kisame answered Itachi. He grunted in response.

"Ooh! Kites" squealed a voice behind them. Suigetsu was looking across the street. In front of the group was a hug park, upon its lawn stood people of all ages, flying the colourful objects high. Without waiting for anyone else he ran off in the direction of the park.

"Sasori no Danna, that looks so artistic, we should go and join in," Deidara cried in joy. He grabbed Sasori's hand and pulled him after the younger swordsman.

"Don't you wish you didn't have to be seen with them? We can take care of that you know," Zetsu smirked from behind Konan. It sent a shiver down her spine as she shook her head at the crocodile. "Your loss"

"We'd better fucking follow them," Hidan sighed, steering the crazed Kakuzu towards the park. With some reluctance the rest of the group went after them.


Pain had discarded his chestnut stand in favour of selling kites. The high winds today had made it the perfect day for flying the toys. He'd just sold a beautiful red kite with a multicoloured ribbon tail to one of the children Mary Poppins watched. He was now attempting to chat up the babysitter.

"Oh my Bert," the prim lady exclaimed, looking over his shoulder, "have you ever seen such a curious group?"

Pain looked around. Oh shit. He had seen such a curious group. He couldn't even blink before the white haired boy that liked to fight Kisame was on top of him, snatching one of his kites and running off again.

"Time for your flying lesson Karin!" it cackled

"Suigetsu! You ass, let me go!" wailed Karin.

Pain had barely gotten off the floor when he was tackled again by the bomber in blue.

"Look Danna, un! Look who I found!" Deidara proclaimed loudly to his partner.

"Well done brat," Sasori sighed, thoroughly unimpressed.

"Bert, you certainly are a popular gentleman today," quipped Mary, "come along children, we have a kite to fly," the nanny grabbed her dress in one hand and used the other to lead away her young charges. And then Konan arrived.

"Who was she?" she glared at Pain, her tone icy.

"That, that was just a lady, no one special," Pain lied nervously, trying to save his skin. Konan evidently didn't believe him, but grabbed onto his hand.

"Oh well then. Now that we've found you we can get on to the next world. I wonder where the portal will be this time," the blue haired female trilled briskly. Pain yanked his hand back out of her grasp as the rest of the group gathered around him. He tried to ignore their odd clothing as he protested.

"No way, I'm not leaving," he told his blue haired partner firmly.

"What do you mean you aren't leaving? Pain, we have a job to do, we still need to find Tobi and Itachi. You acting like this isn't helping," Konan countered.

"What do you mean?" the orange haired man answered, "Itachi is stood right there," he nodded to indicate the dragon. Everyone else stared at him. Deidara was the first to move, pointing and laughing.

"Ha ha, man and I thought I looked stupid!" he brayed. Itachi harrumphed indignantly, his expression sour. Kisame was speechless, and had begun to blush, changing his skin to an odd purple tone.

"Yeah Itachi is the dragon and his kid brother is that bug sat on your shoulder. Didn't you guys realise that?"

"You know what, that doesn't matter, you're coming with us. We have a mission that was your idea. Or did you forget that?" Konan argued.

"I didn't forget," their leader shrugged, "but I'm happier in this world, it's peaceful and I can do anything I want. If I wanted to be a chimney sweep I could, if I wanted to be a cart driver I could. I'm jack of all trades Konan, it's wonderful,"

The sounds of music seemed to permeate the air, as the pierced man stepped away from them. Suigetsu ears pricked up, he wanted in on this. He sprinted over letting the kite he'd had float down to the floor.

"when trying to find peace Konan, it's simply quite absurd
relying on immortal men, or one who flies on birds
I've noticed catching bijou, is wearing pretty thin
cause we all need a change of pace, from the world we were in

it's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"

Pain sang merrily, tap dancing around them as he did so. Some of the others were banging their heads against nearby objects. Not another song. Suigetsu was grinning widely, ready to join in.

"oh I used to go out training when I was just a lad
my brother taught me of the swords and for that I was glad
but then Mangetsu died y'see and I was all alone
from that day on I changed my quest and this is how it goes!"

Pain linked arms with the boy they sang once more.

"oh supercalifragili-"

"No!" screamed Konan. "I've had enough of your singing. Boys we are going to find Tobi, we are going home to our base, and you three," she pointed to the taka members, "are getting the hell away from me,"

Everyone stared at her little tantrum. Several people in the park were looking at her too. it was embarrassing. Until Konan saw that woman with those horrible children again. She'd had enough.

"Pain, you have five more minutes, get your things sorted you are coming with us or you and I are through," she threatened. Pain shook his head childishly, throwing a tantrum of his own.

"Right then," Konan spoke decisively. "Deidara, do your thing on that woman over there; Hidan, Kakuzu, those kids said Jashin sucks and tried to steal your hat; Kisame just use that pointy forky thingy you have ok?"

Not wanting to risk her wrath the men immediately sprang to de her bidding. Deidara was bombing like his life depended on it. Hidan was yelling out his religion's scriptures (complete with curse words) as he impaled a child on a railing.

"Nobody touches my hat!" Kakuzu let out an almighty yell, discharging his gun into the air angrily. Kisame looked from his trident to Suigetsu and tripped him up. He hoped that would satiate the blue haired kunoichi. Said female was currently standing over her whimpering boyfriend, sheets of paper in hand. Pain cowered, paper cuts were his only fear.

"I give in, we'll go, we'll go!" he cried out, covering his head with his arms. Konan backed off and smiled sweetly.

"I knew you would see it my way."