This is it. It's over, done, finally finished. And I'm so sad it had to end! I've loved writing this, and I want to thank everyone that's reviewed, favourited or subscribed to this story. It's been a massive encouragement, and I never thought I'd finish a multi-chapter story. If you've enjoyed this I'm working on several other multi-chapter things at the moment, though I can't promise they will be as funny. Thank you for reading!
Orange
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the Akatsuki, Finding Nemo or anything else Disney related
The Akatsuki, Suigetsu, Karin and Sasuke were all seated on a bandstand in the middle of the park. Once their attack on London had calmed down, the group had rigorously combed the area for any sign of a way to the next world. It proved fruitless, and now it was growing dark.
"Doesn't anyone have any ideas?" Konan asked them for about the thirtieth time that hour. The others hung their heads in shame. Kisame had blathered on about the strange bed again, but the others had rubbished that idea. Of course the only reason for that was every bed in ever Jashin damned house around had exactly the same type of bed in it.
Pain, growing bored of his subordinates took some chalk from his pocket and began to draw on the floor. Sasori and Deidara watched him slightly amused.
"That's pretty good, un" the blonde nodded at the scene that flowed from the man's chalk.
"Yeah, it's weird, I only have white chalk, but whenever I scribble with it these pictures come out," Pain admitted, not looking up. The others had begun to gather now and stared down at the little scene he was illustrating.
"Really?" Suigetsu leaned in close, clearly intrigued.
"Yep," Pain answered, "what's even weirder is when I showed Ma-" a glare from Konan made him catch what he was saying, "when I showed a friend, we could go to another place."
"Pain?" Konan asked in a tone that was far too sweet.
"Yes dear?" Pain panicked, what had he done wrong this time.
"Pain, you mean to tell me that you can draw portals to other worlds, something we have been trying to find all day, and you didn't tell us?" Konan's look was fierce, it was paper cut time. The pierced man's expression was curious as the realisation spread across it.
"Hey, uh, why don't I draw a picture and see if that takes us to Tobi?" he suggested brightly. The others shook their head at him.
"Yes, I think it's best you do that," Konan replied folding her arms.
The tank was filthy. Tobi could hardly see out of its sides anymore, it was so thick with green scum. The only fish who seemed bothered by this was the purple and yellow thing. But that guy seemed bothered by everything Tobi reasoned. The orange annoyance was currently pestering, peach the eBay starfish.
"And sempai's partner is Sasori, he's real grumpy! Especially when sempai..."
"Look kid, it's all very interesting, but I'm trying to watch the dentist give this guy a root canal," the pink star interrupted, trying to wave Tobi away. Tobi's smile didn't fade as he swam off to find Gill. The Moorish idol never seemed to tire of his presence.
"How're you doing kid?" the old fish asked Tobi as he swam cheerfully around the tank.
"Tobi is a good boy!" the clownfish replied predictably. "but Tobi is missing Zetsu and sempai and all Tobi's friends." The idiot's permanently happy face dropped a little at the end of the sentence, but perked up again as the black and white fish put a fin around him.
"Don't worry kid, soon we'll be outta the tank when it gets cleaned and heading for the big blue," Gill said. His eyes were glazed over dreamily. Tobi wasn't really listening, he was thinking about seeing Zetsu. Gill's black and white stripes had reminded him of his two toned master. He swam over to the side of the tank and mopped a little of the green scum away, gazing out beyond the window.
The picture had led them all back to the ocean. Upon stepping into it, the group was separated again. There were two rowboats and a pirate ship floating on the waves. Kakuzu, Hidan and Itachi had landed aboard it. Sasori and Deidara had landed in one of the smaller vessels while Pain, Konan and Sasuke had landed in the other. Kisame, Suigetsu, Karin and Zetsu were in the water, floating leisurely on its surface. For some reason, Kisame and Suigetsu found that their mermaid tails had returned. The younger swordsman splashed his around happily.
"You all know the plan right?" Pain said authoritatively, trying to reinstate his lapse of control on the group. They all nodded at him. Deidara and Sasori jumped out of their own little boat, heading skyward, they'd be searching from the air. Kakuzu, Hidan and Itachi would lead their way on the surface of the water, while Pain and Konan followed behind in their little rowboat. Suigetsu Kisame and Karin would be searching underwater, but still keeping an eye on the ships above, and Zetsu would be relaying information between all of the teams. In the far distance a very narrow grey strip signalled land. That's the way they would all be heading. Pain gave his signal and the teams set off.
"I can't wait to get out of this dress, un" Deidara commented to his partner happily. Sasori answered him with a blank look and circled the clay bird a few times. They soared through the air at a slow pace, pausing either to hover momentarily, or circle back and down to keep close with the rest of the group.
"You can watch me burn it if you like, it'll be so artistic Danna," Deidara spoke again.
"You brat, how many times do I have to tell you that art is eternal?" he snapped, breaking his silence.
Down below the others could hear the artists arguing and sighed. On the pirate ship Hidan turned to Itachi and laughed.
"Who the fuck would guessed it was you under there, huh?" he teased. Itachi swiped his scaly tale at the immortal who laughed even harder. Kakuzu grunted ignoring the younger members and steering his ship through the calm waters. He twirled the large wheel in his hands happily. If there were air in the sails they could have gone faster and get this nightmare over with already. A thought struck the old man. Hot air made things move!
"Hey Itachi, think you could blow some of that smoke into the sails?" the old ninja called out to his younger comrade. Itachi didn't answer, as he was setting fire to Hidan. While the white haired one screamed pleasure through his pain, the smoke coming off the pair of them filled the sails, propelling the ship through the water. Perfect.
"Dude, it was like whoa, and then whoa, like whoa totally,"
"Oh dude, you know like, whoa? dude?"
"Dude"
"Sweet"
Kisame and Karin looked from Suigetsu to the turtle. Apparently they were talking to each other. The blue man thought it a very odd sight to behold. He also wondered if he could converse with sea creatures at will. He did look like one after all.
"It was most excellent my man," the turtle nodded at the mermaid.
"Awesome dude," Suigetsu grinned back at the creature.
There was a whoosh and several more turtles zoomed past Karin and Kisame, diving straight for the other turtle. They were much smaller in comparison. They hung back while the white haired boy discussed something with the animals, before it looked like he was ready to go.
"Remember you gotta rinse it, roll it and punch it dude!" came a little squeak from the smallest turtle. Suigetsu gave the animal a thumbs up.
"Lay some fin on me dude," the boy slapped his tail fins against that of the older turtle.
"Yo, noggin," the turtle replied and the pair bumped their heads together stupidly.
"Dude" they let out slowly and happily before waving and swimming away from each other.
"So, what did you and the moron turtle discuss," Karin snipped icily. Suigetsu scowled at her,
"Have some respect for your elders Karin, he's over a hundred and fifty," he turned to Kisame, his sharp teeth stretched in a wide grin, "got us some info on your friend."
Pain leisurely shifted the oars through the water, and the little boat glided along. Konan was stretched out at the other end, regarding her man happily. From his perch on her shoulder, Sasuke began to wonder which one was the real leader her. He'd have voiced this but nobody seemed to understand his chirping. Konan sat up as she felt Pain slow the boat slightly. A large shape was looming in the water next to the boat. As they stopped, so did Zetsu, finally breaking the ocean's surface.
"Just got this from Kisame's team. They could have given us something more useful. Like one of those tasty little turtles. You know the shell on those things are impossible." The crocodile handed the orange haired one an object before submerging again, arguing with himself about seafood.
The two akatsuki and the little cricket regarded the object curiously. It appeared to be a pair of goggles. There was an address inked onto the back of the strap. They straightened the strap out and looked it over, the ink had run slightly with the damp, but the wording was still legible. This must be where Tobi was. It was time to get their masked moron back.
The tank fish were depressed. They'd all awoken to find the scum from their home was gone. The dentist had installed a new tank filter overnight, and it had been hard at work by the looks of things.
"Does this mean Tobi won't get to see sempai again?" mused the little orange fish sadly. His question was answered sooner than he anticipated as there was suddenly a massive commotion about the tank. The dentist, and his patient, had jumped to their feet in shock. The fish watched the drama unfold through the glass.
"Now see here mate," the dentist began, only to be met with a face full of fist. His patient ran from the room in fear. The man who'd punched the dentist cracked his knuckles before shouting.
"So, where the fuck is the little shit?" Hidan said. Deidara stormed into the room angrily and began looking about for the errant member.
"Tobi! Show yourself now, un? I am sick of wearing this shit! You have a lot to answer for, un!" he yelled. Tobi watched, the tears of sadness he had turning into ones of joy. His friends had arrived! All of the fish looked horrified to see the team piling into the dentists room. First the albino in leather, then the man in the blue dress, holding a dirty apron in one had. Then there was the redhead, wearing skin-tight lime green, and sitting comfortably in the dentist's chair. He was followed by two calm people, a female with blue hair, and a man with blue skin. Hanging off the blue skinned one was a grinning white haired mermaid, and what appeared to be a crab in glasses. There was also a sad looking man dressed in old fashioned clothing, but many piercings. He was followed by the most crazed looking, a tanned pirate firing a gun into the air randomly.
The puffer fish looked to the other side of the tank in the waiting room. Apparently they'd left their pets, a dragon and a two toned crocodile, in the vicinity. Tobi was waving his fins happily at them all.
"Sempai! Tobi is here sempai!" he called out.
The akatsuki stopped their search for him and glanced over at the tank. Was that clownfish waving at them? And talking? Now that they thought about it those swirls looked familiar.
Pain acted quickly, grabbing a cup from the dentists equipment and fishing Tobi from the tank.
"Tobi, what the hell is going on?" the leader asked him.
"Tobi was just trying to help. Tobi thought if he gave you the magical bedknob then you could just wish for all the bijou," the fish supplied.
"So that magic bedknob granted our wishes? And that was how we all found each other?" Konan spoke, but really only to herself. Tobi nodded.
"How do we get out of this?" the orange haired man asked the fish.
"Tobi! You'd better tell him, I am not happy with wearing this dress any longer!" Deidara interrupted, waving the last of his clay threateningly. Tobi squeaked and splashed away from the mad bomber, inadvertently getting some water on Kakuzu's headgear.
"Nobody touches my hat!" the stitched one yelled insanely, letting another round loose into the air. Tobi swam to the bottom of his cup in fear.
"You just need to find the bedknob! Tobi is sorry!" they heard the little fish squeal, terrified.
Out in the waiting room, Itachi eyed a small object under the coffee table. Huh, it was really that easy. They should have wished for home all along. He grabbed the bedknob from where he'd spotted it, glad of the luck they seemed to be having. He let out a final puff of smoke, before thinking fondly.
Nothing happened.
"You're doing it wrong!" Tobi scolded in his cup of water. You need the magic words.
"Which are?" pressed the others.
"Treguna Mekoides Trecorum Satis Dee"
And suddenly, they were home.
THE END
