So, once again, Meow and Mango do not own Bleach or "Clementine".
Because we didn't update for a couple of days, this one is extra long, even the story.
Set in a parallel of the Turn Back the Pendulum Arc. That's why most of the people are OOC.
Enjoy!
~!#$%^&*() (That's just our new line break. We are not cussing at you.)
It was a typical date between Yoruichi and Urahara. Basically, they were in a room in the twelfth division barracks, passionately making out. They were just about to go a bit further than that when they were rather rudely interrupted by noise from the next room.
"MA COLD PIZZA!!!!!"
"NO, YOU HAD DA CEREAL, YA JERK!!!"
"GIMME BACK MA CHICKEN, LOSERS!!!!"
"LEGGO MY HAIR!!"
"THEN STOP PULLING MINE!!!!!"
"GUYS, STOP STEPPING ON THE DONUTS!!!!!!! THE COPS'LL GET MAD!!!!"
Some idiot (Urahara didn't want to know which) threw open the door and let in all of the workers from the lab.
"TAICHOU, MAKE HIM ST-"
"…"
"Wh…what are you…doing?"
"…What does it look like?!"
"Uh…you're trying to…scratch Lady Yoruichi's back?"
"……………………………………………………NO, YOU IDIOTS, GET OUT OF HERE!!!"
And the aforementioned idiots promptly ran away.
Urahara's eye twitched. He couldn't hold it in anymore. Pent up frustration was going to erupt, so he politely warned Yoruichi to leave.
Yoruichi's response: "Oh no. This is going to be good." And she took out her video camera, ready to film.
And then Kisuke lost control, his rage reaching the high heavens as he burst into song.
My division, my division,
What a bunch of stupid jerks!
They're clumsy, and they're morons,
And they come with no perks.
They break stuff, and they used up
All the funds for the lab.
So now we're flat broke,
And I can't even
Afford a stupid cab.
One's a monkey, one's psychotic,
One has horns on his head.
One's a worm, one has a topknot,*
And I wish they were all dead.
One kicked me in the crotch,
I had to break one out of jail.
One's useless, 'cept his horns,
So I make him open mail.
One's real ugly, and he's green,
And we have a sugar nut
Now I'm sorely, sorely tempted
To kick all of their butts.
And I can't even make out with
My own girlfriend!
I just wish that their worthless lives
Would come to an end.
So maybe I abuse them, so what?
They should suck it up.
That's just what they get for being
Stupid and corrupt.
They fight over all the food
That I ever give them.
Be it cold pizza, dry cereal,
Or moldy chicken.
But now I think they want revenge
I heard something about a cop.
So I'll run away to the Real World
And open an illegal shop. **
Yoruichi smirked. This was pure gold.
~!#$%^&*()
* Guess who we're talking about! Anyone who gets three or more right gets to suggest a theme for a song! And anyone who gets all five right gets The Legendary Cookie and the privilege of suggesting two new songs! And all suggestions will be used eventually, so be patient!
** That sells candy.
Thanks to all the reviewers!!!!! You make us feel all sunny inside. :D So you get cookies and cake baked by our internal sunnyness.
Mango would just like to clarify that she is not just the bumbling sidekick in these stories and our account. She is in fact the mastermind behind these songs of DOOM and pretty much any other story we write, unless Meow has stated that it is a Meow Original.
Meow Originals are probably less worth reading, but you might enjoy them anyway.
But as of now, this is our only story. So please respect Mango, or she will instruct her kindred to hurl themselves at you. So unless you wish to be pelted by mangoes with minds of their own, please give full credit to and respect Mango.
If you respect Mango, please review.
