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Chapter 9: Something Isn't Right

"Once it's been dealt with…you feel like you've been touched by something angelic"

~Jasper POV~

Every moment that I spent away with her was almost unbearable. I was sort of annoyed by this to be honest. I mean, yes…I enjoyed my time fully when she was around but what was getting to me was that I didn't know why! Details of imprinting were unknown to me. I had only heard things in the past. I felt like I was constantly watching her, like I was her stalker her or something. I hardly believed that she liked it when I stared at her like that. I decided that enough was enough…that I had to be around her…nothing really made sense when she wasn't. Was it always going to be like this? I got into my car and sped down the streets…in hopes that I would find her. I was about to turn into the long driveway that led to her house when I noticed someone standing there…someone utterly familiar. I pulled up alongside her and rolled down the window.

"What are you doing out in the rain darlin'?" I called out to her and was a little surprised that her feelings suddenly changed into that of peacefulness. Usually when I was around her, her emotions were very conflicted…as if her head was telling her to do the logical thing but her heart was telling her different. She climbed into my car and just smiled at me, but her face was marked with tears. I frowned deeply and silently turned on the heater as I flipped around and headed back to my house. She didn't object, she just sat there in silence, looking out the window. Something wasn't right. Her brother must have told her something again. But, I had a feeling that this had nothing to do with me. When we got to the house, I opened the door for her and she wordlessly followed me into the house.

"Hi Natalia!" Rosalie's voice called as we walked past her bedroom. Natalia just looked up at her and waved, a small smile on her lips. I shrugged as I followed behind her. My room was down at the end of the hall, I let her in and watched her take it all in before turning to look at me.

"Do I want to know what happened?" I try to joke with her, but she didn't say anything…she just walked closer to me, until she was only a few inches away from me. Her hands made their way across my face and then up into my hair. It was amazing…to have her touch me like that. Next thing I knew, she was attempting to push me back towards the bed. There was no humanly way she could do it, so I just gave in and moved when she pushed me until I was sitting on the bed. Sill not saying anything, she ran her hands up the front of my shirt, grabbing the hem of it…obviously trying to get her point across. I, still a little reluctant, eventually obliged and took it off. She stalled for a few seconds, obviously seeing all the scars of what my life used to be but she didn't say anything. Her body was against me in an instant, kissing every part that had been covered up the shirt, never looking back at me as she started taking off the sweater she was wearing. My eyes caught glimpse of some deep markings on the upper parts of her arms and I tried to say something but nothing came out. I'd be lying if I said that what she was doing was nothing short of amazing. But, as much as I was enjoying this, it didn't seem right…why the sudden change of heart? Things all snapped into place when I felt her hands stop on the top of my jeans.

You idiot Jasper! She doesn't want this…she's doing what she thinks you want from her. No, we can't do this…it isn't right. She would only hate herself more later…Stop her!

My mind kept shouting at me and it took me a good thirty seconds for me to finally grab her hands and pull her away from me.

"Natalia…I don't think we should do this?" I instantly felt her rejected feelings.

"But…" her breathing was a little uneven "isn't this what you wanted from me Jasper…all this time.." she eyed me. I couldn't lie to her and she knew it.

"Yes, but…you don't. And, there is no way that I will hurt you like that." It was like I didn't have to say anymore…her body was against mine again but this time, she was looking for comfort. I could feel her tears seeping onto my skin as I just held her.

"He said that my mom would be so disappointed in me…" she mumbled and I didn't understand. "And, I figured, he already thought I was some sort of slut..why not make it true?" she said and I instantly pulled her away from me.

"He called you a what?" I said, my teeth clenching.

"Well, he didn't exactly call me that…but he did say that my mother would have been so disappointed in me…that hurt so much Jasper. He always thinks I'm off doing something that I shouldn't be doing. I can't believe he would throw in my dead mother into a conversation that had nothing to do with her!" I looked down at her. Her mother had died? Poor girl…then how did she end up with these Cullen people? I stared at her harder for another moment when I noticed some more marks on her shoulders. But, this time I knew that they were bruise. A low hiss escaped my lips as I stared down at them. Those were clearly someone's hand marks. I knew exactly whose! She must have seen what I was staring because she suddenly holding her hands up at me, in what looked like surrender.

"He didn't mean it Jasper…sometimes he just forgets that he's much stronger than I am." She was defending him! This had to be the most selfless girl I had ever met.

"But he hurt you!" I said but then it hit me. I had hurt her too that first day of school…not on purpose of course but it just showed how fragile she was.

"I'm not a porcelain doll…the bruises will go away…no bones were broken." She shook her head at me. She did have a point I suppose but, I could just be being biased again. Gently, I leaned down and I kissed each shoulder…where each bruise was. I could feel her blushing and I smiled. She had never let me get so close to her before. And, even though I could feel her fear, I could still feel that peace from earlier.

"Would you like to take a nap?" I offered her, pointing to my bed…"I never use it to sleep…but I'm sure that it would be quite comfortable to you."

"That would be nice…do you think I can borrow a sweatshirt or something though? I'm sort of cold…" she frowned. I nodded and picked up the shirt of mine she had thrown to the ground and handed it to her.

"I'm so sorry about that…I don't know what came over me." She muttered, pulling the shirt over her head.

"It's quite alright…just, never feel like you have to do something that you think others want you to do." I laughed, grabbing another shirt from my dresser and buttoning it.

"I like when you were those kinds of shirts." She slipped out and then covered her mouth in utter embarrassment.

"Really? Would you like to switch?" I teased her and she blushed even more.

"No, I like the way this one smells." She admitted after a few moments.

"I see…well you can keep it if you wish. I have hundreds…" I shrugged and watched her get comfortable on the bed. She looked like she was in awe of it.

"Your bed is so comfortable." She sighed, feelings of contentment rolling off of her. I had never seen a human so excited about a bed.

"Interesting." I sat beside her. She was staring at the deep blue comforter…a personal favorite color of mine. She grabbed the blanket that was of the same color and marveled at how soft it was.

"Do you ever get cold?"

"No…I bought it because I liked how it was soft. We are not used to soft things." I explained. I then remembered the marks she had on her arms…

"Natalia…what happened to your mother?" I asked her and her eyes widened. She had not been expecting me to ask her apparently.

"She died…a year ago." She said quickly.

"And…" I looked at her intently "did her death have anything to do with those marks on your arms?"

"No…" she lied.

"I think it'd be best if you told me the truth." I said, a little bit harsher than intended.

"I don't have to tell you anything I don't want to." She said, but on the inside I could feel that she wanted to tell me. It had caused her a lot of pain…whatever she had done.

"Can't I just take that nap you offered me…"

"I'll let you take it if you tell me what happened first."

"You can't do that." She smirked.

"Oh yea?" I grabbed her hand, sending her waves of excitement, nerves…anything that would keep a person up for hours on end.

"Hey!" she yelped as everything hit her "that isn't fair Jasper…stop that." Her voice shook a little. Oops, maybe that was too much. I let her go and she instantly leaned back.

"Cheater." She closed her eyes.

"Tell me." I asked her again. I could sense that there was some sort of brick wall she had built up and she was desperately trying to break it down. It amazed me she was doing all this for me. A guy who she didn't completely know and trust.

"Fine…but no one outside of this room ever knows." She looked at me, her eyes holding a sudden sadness.

"I swear."

(A/N: I was going to end the chapter right there…but, I decided that wouldn't be very nice of me…)

"So, about a year ago, my mom and I were on our way home one night…you see we lived in Oregon at the time and there was a very hard thunderstorm that night. My mom had been trying to drive at the safest rate possible…which meant she was driving a little slower…and a car behind us attempted to cut us off but he ended up skidding back very fast back into our lane and slammed against our car, causing it to crash down the hill we were driving alongside of. Things are a little fuzzy at this point…I know that my mom was thrown from the car…and I was trapped inside the car. I needed to save my mother…she was all I had. And so, I guess in a moment of pure adrenaline , I somehow managed to kick the window out with my leg…" she trailed off as she reached forward and pulled up the leg on her jeans…just high enough so she could show me the long, jagged scar on the back of her leg. I cringed a little at that. Such a beautiful girl..with some many painful reminders.

"Anyways." She started up again "the next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital…with a nice looking doctor reviewing my chart. It turned out to be Carlisle. He was the one who told me that my mother hadn't survived…and that she had asked him to take me in as part of your family. Needless to say, I grew very depressed after that. All of my mother's family still lived in Mexico and I had no one else. There was a few weeks gap between the time she died to when I moved in with Carlisle and his family. So, alone and in a deep depression…I started to hurt myself." She whispered.

"Why?" I looked at her

"Because…when everything around you becomes too much, you begin to shut yourself off from the world…and, doing it made me feel this sort of release…like I was finally in control of something again…not just this weakling who had nothing anymore."

"And Carlisle…he knows?"

"Yes of course. He's the one who found me the night it went a little too far. If he hadn't shown up at my house that night…I probably wouldn't be here." I felt a jab of something dull inside of me. The thought of her not being here right now…it was quite unsettling to me.

"I'm glad that he found you Natalia…" I said softly.

"And that's pretty much what happened….I have never told anyone this before…well besides the Cullens." She shrugged.

"I'm glad you could trust me enough to tell me."

"Yea, even though I don't know why…I still trust you."

"I think you've earned that nap." I smiled, breaking the tension.

"Thank you!" she sighed over dramatically.

"I can sit on the couch over there is you wish." I motioned over to it across the room.

"No…this is your bed…you can lay here if you want to."

"You won't feel uncomfortable?"

"I doubt that's possible…especially with what happened earlier…" she frowned "and, no matter how hard I'm trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be doing this, something inside of me wants you to." I needed no more invitation. I settled in beside her, still leaving a little bit of space between us.

"Jasper?" she yawned, her eyelids droopy.

"Yes?" I looked over at her.

"Thank you for dragging my story out of me…I think I needed to tell someone…just to have someone listen to me…"

"I'm glad I could be of service." I patted her hand gently.

"Mmhm." She sighed, her head gently leaning on the pillow. After about twenty minutes, she was in a deep sleep…physically exhausted from everything she told me. I felt her stirring in her sleep, feelings of confusion and tension flying off of her as she moved her hand around the pillow, trying to hold onto it…but not getting what she wanted. So, in spite of everything that was telling me NOT to do it, I pulled her body slowly towards me, until she was against my side and her head and hand lying on my chest. The heat from her body felt quite nice against my always cold one. I felt her emotions instantly going at ease…her mind at peace. They do say that when you sleep, your true desires and feelings come out.

"Sleep…nothing can hurt you now sweetheart." I murmured against her hair. I started to think that all she needed was someone who could comfort her. And, I was more than willing to be that person for her but, there was something deep down inside that wanted her to want something more. But, if this was she wanted at the moment, I would give it to her…for the time being.

~How was it? If anyone has any suggestions for future chapters (what you'd like to see happen or have someone do)…please feel free to let me know!~