Chapter 11: True Feelings

"My Hands Float Up Above Me, and you Whisper you Love me & I begin to Fade…into our secret place."

"Jasper I don't like the dark…"

"I won't let anything hurt you…follow me." He took my hand and I followed him…still scared, but trusting him completely.

"Natalia why are you so scared of the dark?" Jasper laughed as he continued guiding me on this adventure we were on.

"I've never liked it. I can't stand not being able to see where I'm going…I guess I'm a little afraid of the unknown." I shrugged.

"I guess you apply that to more than just one aspect of your life?" he mumbled.

"What was that?" I leaned closer to him, laughing because I was only catching bits and pieces of what he was saying.

"Nothing…come one, we're almost here." He smiled, pulling me a little bit more eagerly. I could smell the water before we even got there.

"Are you going swimming?" I joked and he just frowned.

"You see that over there?" he pointed across the lake to something.

"Um, no? I don't have super sight like you do." I reminded him.

"Oh…yes, I forgot. Well, can you just trust me when I say there's something there?"

"Do I have a choice…what is it?" I was intrigued.

"There's a little piece of land in the middle of the lake…and there's a tree there as well…that's where we're going."

"And how are we getting out there…it's a little too cold to swim." I grew a little nervous. I didn't want to freeze.

"Again, do you trust me?" he pulled me closer to him and this time, I could see his face a little bit clearer.

"Um, yes." I sighed.

"Great." He smiled and before I even registered what happened, I was up in his arms and I felt him sort of crouch down as if…as is he was about to jump.

"Jasper what are you doing!" I choked out, my grip tightening around his neck. He didn't answer me and I buried my face in his neck as I anticipated a big splash in the cold water. But, that didn't happen…all there was a soft thud on the ground.

"I thought you said you trust me." He laughed as he set me down gently. I couldn't believe it…he had jumped all that way over here?

"I do…I just wasn't expecting you to make that jump…I guess I underestimated you again." I blushed but thankfully in the dark he hopefully couldn't see it.

"Well, this is the surprise…" he stood to the side of me, letting me see the big tree for the first time.

"Oh, a willow tree…Jasper it's beautiful!" I beamed and he just nodded in silence. He motioned me to follow him and I did, where he moved some of the leaves so I could literally walk inside. We were surrounded by the leaves…where no one could see us and we could not see anything.

"I found it when we first moved here. I come sometimes when I want to be alone…just to think."

"It's sort of a random place to put a tree don't you think?" I asked, sitting down.

"I suppose so…but, isn't that what makes things so beautiful…when they're somewhere they don't belong and yet, still look perfect?" he sat beside me.

"Are you comparing me to a willow tree?" I laughed.

"Perhaps. After all, a willow tree does have a quiet, mysterious beauty to it." I had to give it to him, that was a good comeback.

"So how about it Miss Cullen…what did we need to talk about? Or, was that just an excuse to get me out of my house and away from your psycho brother?"

"My brother isn't psycho…" I smirked "and actually, now that we're here…I might as well tell you what's really been on my mind." I sighed.

"I'm listening…" he urged me to continue.

"Just listen for now okay? I have lots to say…I think." I frowned. He nodded and after a few seconds, I started rambling to him.

"I probably don't have to tell you this but, ever since I've met you, I've had some very conflicting emotions when I am around you. One minute I feel perfectly comfortable with you. Like I've known you all my life…and then there are other times where I'm petrified to be around you. I keep thinking about your story and how you said that you used to be able to take a life and not think twice about it. And, I don't mean to offend you but, you got to understand that is just a little bit hard to process. And then, there's the whole imprinting thing. You have no idea how that makes me feel. It makes me scared, knowing that you probably care about me way too much when you don't really know me all that well. I'm also intrigued by it because I'm such a plain Jane…nothing ever happens to me. It also makes me feel confused because, it's obvious how you feel about me…but, I can't help but wonder if you would feel the same way about me if you had never imprinted on me? Would you even care that I existed? That sounds pretty vain I'm sure but I just need to know Jasper. I need to know where we stand…what you want to become of us." I looked up at him and for a few moments, he was motionless, just processing in everything I had just told him. Then, he smiled and took my hand.

"I want…" he grabbed the other one "whatever it is that you want. If you were to tell me right now that you just wanted me to be your best friend, I would in a second. Because, as much as I care about you and want you to be with me forever, I'm letting you decide. Even if you choose to not want to be with me in any manner, I will respect every decision you make."

"That's just the thing! A part of me is saying that we can never be together because I'm a mere human and you're someone who's going to live forever…but another part of me wants you to never leave my side. This may sound weird but, when you aren't around me Jasper, I feel a little incomplete and I don't understand why. You & I make total and complete utter sense in my mind. But then, when I look at it from a realistic point of view…I just don't know how we could be possible." My voice was cracking by now.

"What do you want at this very moment?"

"But…"

"No…don't think about tomorrow…or a year or ten years from now. This exact moment Natalia. What do you want from me? Because at this point, I'm willing to do whatever it is you ask of me." I thought about it for a few minutes, fighting myself with every right and wrong.

"I want…" I swallowed nervously "I want to be with you…and have you tell me that you're never going to let me go."

"Perfect." He whispered before he leaned in closer and pressed his lips against mine. I didn't fight him off…I just let the moment happen. My hands slid their way out of his and to his neck, bringing him as close as possible to me. Maybe I was in too much in the moment because I found myself pushing him back to the ground (which he complied to obviously) and kissed him deeper as my legs rested on either side of him. After a few minutes, I had to pull away from him…a wave of guilt hitting me instantly.

"I'm sorry Jasper…I didn't mean to get so carried away…" I said.

"No need to apologize…you know your limits…you're just going to have to let me be aware of them." He said honestly. At least he was being honest and not taking advantage right?

"Well…well that I have you full attention." I smiled down at him "there's something I need to tell you and I better say it now before I chicken out." I blushed.

"What is it sweetheart?" he grabbed one of my hands from his position on the floor.

"I think that I'm irrevocably in love with you Jasper Hale." I breathed out after I said it, but actually glad that it was finally off my chest. His eyes had widened a little when I said it.

"Are you sure you love me?" he whispered. And, I didn't know if he was joking or not.

"yes, I think I'd know love when it was right in front of me. I've just been so scared to tell you…because I know that you're always saying that we're destined and all that and it was frightening to me. But, I don't really care anymore. I am not going to be around forever and I want to spend as much time as I can with you Jasper…knowing you, getting the chance to properly fall in love with you." I giggled.

"Well then." He kissed my hand "I guess it should be the right time to tell you Natalia, even though I think you already know that I am so much in love with you…that sometimes I can't think straight. I can't focus when you aren't around me…when you're with me, I have clarity & purpose." He explained.

"Oh…well then I guess that is my gift to you isn't it? I am your breath of fresh air." I smiled.

"Oh, you are so much more than that." He tugged my hand and brought me back to him, my hair all around his face, sort of covering the two of us in this little moment.

"See, you are like this willow tree…hiding us from the rest of the world…where it can just be the two of us in here." He laughed.

"You're too much with this whole tree business." I sighed as I bent down to kiss him quickly.

"So does this mean we're official?" he finally sat up and held me against his side.

"I suppose so…" I joked. "We should start heading back soon." I looked over at him.

"You know Edward is going to kill us…" he frowned.

"You know what? Maybe we can just stay here a little while longer…" I started to grow a little nervous. But, with a kiss on the forehead and a wave of peace, I felt much better.

"Don't worry….I'll protect you." He whispered against me.

"You better. Isn't that sort of your job description Mr. imprinter?"

"Yes, it's my job to make sure you are completely happy and to never let anything bad happen to you…" he said, a little too serious.

"Well, you're doing a pretty good job at the moment."

"We will eventually have to tell him, and you're parents, and my sisters." He pointed out.

"I know, I know…can we just stay like this for awhile…"

"Of course…and this can be our secret place if you will? From when we have to hide from Edward." He laughed.

"Okay." I sighed.

With a secure arm around me, the two of us lay there against the tree…not saying anything. Just absorbing this moment. A moment of peace and tranquility. I couldn't but wonder though…even though we were good at the moment, what would the future hold for us? Just how long would Natalia and Jasper last? There were so many questions…but, just for tonight, I wasn't going to worry about it…just let this moment be the one that only mattered.

*REVIEWS please…lol..I tried to make it romantic & sweet…*