DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH. I JUST MAKE THE CHARACTERS DO MY NAUGHTY BIDDING.
A/N: okay, here's more of Ichigo's emotional and moral torture. I hope you don't get too mad at me for torturing the poor berry. And I also included some stuff from both Ichigo and Stark's past, which I hope would answer some questions. =) and please don't forget to tell me what you think.
PS: I also put Stark under some stress kind of emotional stress.
Anyway, read on.
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Chapter 5
Heartbeat
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Ichigo's Apartment, Shibuya District
1:30am, June 16th
Ichigo woke up with a start. He felt nauseous; then he remembered with more than a little regret that he drunk more than a bottle's worth of alcohol earlier that evening. He didn't remember taking his clothes off though. He also noticed that there was a pleasant warm presence beside him, enveloping him in a protective cocoon. It was Stark.
Stark was also in the same degree of undress as him. The older man's arms were draped possessively around him, one arm around his shoulder and the other around his waist. His head was resting on the man's strong chest, where he could hear his heart beat. He realized then and there that it was the most beautiful sound he heard. It was the sound of another person's heart beating… but not just another person, but a man who he realized that he was slowly falling for.
He suddenly felt so torn and confused. Reason dictated he had a job to do, in which he was paid an unreasonable amount of money to accomplish, but his heart was also hurting at the thought of Stark's blood staining his hands. His head hurt even more, and it was not because of hangover.
He placed a hand on the man's chest, still listening to his heart beat, only to remember he had a blade hidden underneath the night stand. He imagined how it would look like stuck in the older man's chest, only to end up wanting to throw up. He gently and carefully removed those strong arms wrapped around him, though reluctantly. He badly wanted some space to think, to breathe, and to regroup.
After getting up from the bed and away from the warmth that was Stark, he suddenly felt so alone and so cold. He grabbed a shirt that was piled haphazardly on the dresser, then realized it was his lover's from the scent it gave off. He trembled. He felt even more distraught. He then wrapped his arms around himself as pressed the shirt to his chest, wanting to cry, but he held himself together, not wanting to wake up the older man.
The berry made his way to the en suite, grabbing a fluffy white bathrobe from the rack and wore it. He was still holding Stark's shirt. He smelled it again, reveled in it. He then threw the shirt away, and out of his sight. It was just too much for him to bear.
He then opened the tap to fill the tub. And as he was waiting for it to fill up, he sat on the porcelain goddess, staring at nothing at all.
He absently took off the bathrobe he was wearing, and then proceeded to soak himself in the tub. The warm water provided immediate relief from the stress, though he knew this was only temporary. He knew this was not the way to heal his breaking heart. He was also aware that he needed to make choice… and soon.
In the bedroom, Stark lay awake under the covers. He awoke as soon as he felt the lack of Ichigo's warmth beside him. He didn't bother looking for him, not just yet though. He knew the berry would come after him, though this was sooner than expected and for an entirely different reason too. He found out after much soul searching that he just wasn't ready to die yet.
The older man found the berry in the bathtub, soaking and in deep thought.
"There you are." The man turned to the sound of his voice. Ichigo looked so forlorn and conflicted. "What's wrong?"
Ichigo looked at his lap. "It's nothing."
The older man bent his legs so his weight rested on the balls of his feet, so he could look the berry in the eye. He rested one forearm on the rim of the tub for additional support. "You weren't doing so well when I arrived earlier tonight, you know. And it's just wrong to drink when you're alone…" The older man reached out to gently touch his jaw line.
The berry just couldn't look the man in the eye. Even his presence would send him reeling into confusion.
"I just wanted to think…"
"Alcohol does not help you think…"
The berry didn't answer. As much as he wanted to spill everything, he just couldn't jeopardize his mission. Yet his reluctance was costing him so much already.
Stark took his time studying the younger man. So beautiful… it really wasn't hard to fall for the berry. Perhaps he was hoping a tad too much that it wouldn't come to this…
"You'll get pneumonia if stay too long in there." The man said. "Let's get you to bed." He then grabbed the bathrobe the berry discarded earlier.
The berry stood up and waited for the other to put the robe on him. As soon Stark had done so, Ichigo wrapped his arms around the other's torso and grasped on his shoulder blades and whispered. "Hold me."
The older man complied and as he did so, smiled sadly. He tightened his arms around Ichigo a fraction. Then he remembered once more.
Eleven years ago, Stark led the group which ambushed mother and son. The woman yelled for her son to run, run away, as far away as he could get. He didn't really feel that he had to lift a finger, being the lazy bastard that he was; he just stayed in the car smoking his lungs off. Besides, his boys were doing well as he left them to their own devises. He felt a bit annoyed though that the brat indeed had gotten away. But it was just wasn't his cup of tea, to run after and kill a defenseless snot nosed brat, even if his boss had ordered it, due to some childish rivalry he had with the woman's brother.
Of course, Aizen-sama just had to make it a point that he should've killed the boy as well. Rubbed it in, in fact, that it was his fucking fault in the first place. And the fool Barragan happily joined in the fray, just so he could watch him squirm uncomfortably. He was just so freaking bitter about some ambitious upstart upstaging him at his age. Yet he reluctantly looked for the boy during the next few days anyway, finally discovering him in an abandoned building in downtown Karakura.
The boy was no doubt exhausted after running scared shitless. He was sleeping soundly on a makeshift cardboard futon. And he looked like he needed a bath and a big meal. It would have been pretty easy to just slit the brat's throat then and there; he just couldn't bring himself to do it. How troublesome this human concept of conscience was.
Unconventional though it might seem, and traitorous too, if one thought about it, he decided the only way to get rid of the troublesome brat without laying a finger on him was to hand him over to his uncle, Kisuke Urahara. He probably would die if he so much got within fifty feet of the bastard. Whatever. He would contact him anyway.
"To what do we owe the pleasure?" the blond man said, though his eyes were glinting dangerously under that stupid green and white striped hat.
The younger man knew he was treading on dangerous ground. Here he was, in the proverbial lion's den, surrounded by the enemy on all sides. Behind the blond man was Renji, a boy barely into his teens, who he knew was personally trained by Urahara himself. Tessai, Urahara's right hand man was on his left side. To his right, there was Soi Fon. And behind him he knew was Yoruichi, the only women in his team and were rumored to be lovers. He knew that before he could even make a break for it, he would probably be sliced to ribbons first.
"I got something you might want to hear."
"Well, go on… before I change my mind." the man encouraged, belying the threat.
"Your nephew's still alive."
He heard a sharp intake of breath from behind him. He didn't really care who did it, but he was glad he got their attention and good. "I know where your nephew is", he continued.
Suddenly, Yoruichi spoke. "So, what prompted you to do this?"
"It's not just my thing to kill innocent snot nosed brats." Yoruichi scoffed. "You're telling us you're different from your mentor?" she asked incredulously.
"Urahara-san, this could very well be a trap." Soi Fon piped in.
The blond man remained silent, probably calculating the odds of him lying and such. The man then smiled, though it nothing friendly. It was more like ice slicing through his heart.
"Pray tell us where he is." Or you will regret it magnificently, the blond seemed to say. Again, that smile was just plain scary. Stark had no doubt that if he didn't play this well, he would be dead in matter of minutes without the man lifting a finger.
Well, he didn't really have a choice, did he?
"He's hiding in an abandoned building in downtown Karakura. 2nd floor, 3rd door on the left."
"Does anyone else know about this?" the blond man asked.
"No."
All of a sudden he felt the edge of a knife at the base of his skull. Truly, Yoruichi's reputation as the fastest woman in the business preceded her. "You will stay here."
"I must get going then… I'll see you in about an hour or two." Urahara cheerfully said, as if he was just going on some random errand.
Tessai spoke, in low rumbling tones. "Tenchou, I'll go."
"Huh?! But Tessai…" the blond man pouted, like a child who was told by his mom to stay at home.
"I'll go. If this is indeed a trap, then better to lose me than you."
The blond man reluctantly agreed, though Stark supposed that if it was a trap, which it is indeed not, then the man himself would most certainly carve him up like a steak and serve him to the dogs.
He took to watching the clock on the far wall as Soi Fon watched him like a hawk from the corner of her eye, while Urahara himself lay on the love seat, staring at the ceiling, his legs dangling over one arm rest. Yoruichi in the meantime was sitting right beside him, using the knife she just held against the back of his neck to clean her fingernails. The youngest member of this motley crew, Renji was sitting on the floor, back resting against the couch the blond man was on.
Everything was just uncomfortably quiet, and now he was having second thoughts about handing the brat over, if it was really worth it.
It has already been a quarter past two in the morning, which was more than a couple of hours since Tessai left. He'd lost a lot of sleep already. And that big guy was not yet back. He got slightly worried, because they might take the delay the wrong way, which was most inconvenient for him.
A discreet knock broke the silence. Renji scrambled to get up from where he was sitting, but Soi Fon signaled for him to stay put, taking out the gun that was strapped to her thigh. Tessai finally arrived carrying a shivering bundle curled against his chest which he assumed was Urahara's nephew, which was a relief, more on his part though.
There was also obvious relief on Urahara's face. He then spoke. "Tessai, will you please take Ichigo upstairs? There are some shirts in the drawer that I don't use, he could change into that. And please do see to it that he eats something before you tuck him to bed."
The man just nodded his acquiesce.
Urahara then gave him that ice cold smile before Stark felt a whack to the back of his skull and he passed out. He woke up the next day in a hospital room, with a throbbing headache.
Both men lay on Ichigo's bed, the berry already sleeping soundly, his soft relaxed breathing the only sound in the room. He supposed that the reason why he was even alive was because he handed Ichigo over. Now that boy had grown up to be a beautiful young man, he was again having second thoughts. If he had killed him that day eleven years ago, he would not be in this mess. He wouldn't have fallen for him now. But he never regretted it, not ever.
Stark held Ichigo tighter against him. He knew time was running out.
