Title:Game Without Tears
Disclaimer: I do not own, wish I did, but I don't. I only own my plot line. Full disclaimer, first chapter.
Author: ShaeLynn Teelle
All other information: See first chapter.
Polite constructive criticism welcome. FLAMES WILL BE FED TO THE DRAGON IN MY BED.
Chapter 3: Until Wounds Are Healed
Down in the lower levels of Hogwarts, brilliant silver eyes snapped open and a figure sat straight up in bed, breathing heavily. Hands covered his face and his shoulders shook slightly as he fought back the sobs that threatened to break loose. A pale hand reached over and grabbed the wand lying under his pillow and cast a silencing spell around the room. Then, he gave vent to the sobs that came from the recurring memory.
A silent figure entered the dark room through the closed door and floated to the bed where the young man sat, crying. The translucent figure of a woman slipped through the boundaries of the silencing spell and heard the heart-breaking sobs coming from the young man, who currently looked more like a child with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head buried in his arms atop them as he cried.
"Hush, my little Komodo. Why do these nightmares never stop, Draco? We knew this would happen and I do not hate you for what I could not protect you from."
"It's hard to hear the other students talk about it. The Gryffindor's constantly remind me that you're gone and no one knows why or how. They keep saying that you just ran to get away from me. They don't even really bring Lucius into what they say, though he escaped last year. The Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws don't normally have anything to do with us Slytherins, unless it's on the Quidditch field, but even some of them are starting to make comments when I walk by," Draco confessed in quiet sobs, not raising his head from his knees.
"Harry doesn't seem to bring my disappearance up in any of the taunts that he sends at you, and beyond Ronald and Hermione, he would be the one to want to the most. Perhaps he knows more than he is letting on. You need to tell someone, Draco. Gregory and Vincent were initiated after you. No one knows what you were forced to do for your initiation beyond the inner circle and the Snake. Tell someone that has no idea at all about how the Malfoys work. Show someone that you aren't Lucius's son."
"I wasn't under the Imperius Curse. Voldemort wasn't holding my wand when I cast the curses at you. I wasn't forced to do what I did," Draco answered quietly, staring down at the dark green quilt that covered his four-poster bed.
Narcissa's spirit glanced about the room once, noting the lack of decorations, of anything misplaced. The room was more like a cell than a dorm room and beyond the single Slytherin tapestry one would not have even known what dormitory they were in. "Komodo, you didn't have a choice."
"Of course I had a choice! I didn't have to perform what he told me to! I didn't have to sit there and let him burn that ugly thing onto my arm!"
"The only choice you had was to do what he wanted or let him kill you! You had no choice, Draco. Either way I would have died. Whether by your hand or by his, it would have happened. I would much rather have died by yours than become another name to be added to his list. This is eating you alive from the inside out, Komodo. You have to tell someone."
Draco looked up at the ghost of his mother, "If I tell anyone now, Voldemort will find out and kill me. Besides, he can't find out that my pledge to him was a lie in itself until it's too late for him to do anything about it. He can't find out that the soul of a descendant of Morgana cannot die."
\/\/\/\/\/
"Good evening, students," Professor Albus Dumbledore began, standing from his place at the center of the Head Table and looking out amongst the assembled students as the setting sun lit the room brightly from the row of windows behind him. "As some of you may have noticed, there is a missing student from among you tonight. Voldemort has struck and once again taken one from our midst. The body of Morag MacDougal, seventh year, was found earlier this morning near the far side of the lake. Let us now raise our glasses in a toast to this fine student that will no longer study among us."
From his place at the Gryffindor table near the front of the Great Hall Harry looked across the room and noticed that Draco, his clinging girlfriend, and his two cronies refused to join in the toast, as did many of the sixth and fifth year Slytherins. Then, Draco caught Harry's eye and nodded slightly, no emotion at all on his face. Harry glared back, furious, but somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered why Draco wasn't gloating that a member of the Order had been killed, probably by Death Eaters. Harry thought back two weeks to when Draco had found out about Morag being part of the Order.
"There is a meeting, Morag. The password is Serendipity."
Morag nodded, "Why does Dumbledore need me there?"
"It's about the contacts that you deal with and—"
Harry stopped as he felt eyes on his back. He spun about to see a scowling Draco standing at the end of the dead end hallway. Draco had roughly brushed past the two and had almost rounded the next corner when Harry found his voice again.
"Where did you come from, Malfoy?" Harry demanded, knowing that there were no doors at that end of the hall way and the Marauder's Map showed no hidden passages.
"I came from the wall, Potter. Didn't you know? I can walk through walls," Draco smirked and left.
Harry was still glaring at Draco when Ron finally got his attention.
"What's wrong, Harry?" the red-head asked, glancing at the two enemies.
"They just sat there, Ron. Malfoy and his cronies. They just sat there, not caring that a fellow student was killed. I'm sure if it had been a Slytherin they would have been outraged if one of us hadn't participated in a toast," Harry whispered harshly, still angry with the four.
"Just ignore him, Harry. We're meeting Hermione in the library tonight about that Defense assignment we got this morning. You're going to need to be able to think so we can get through that thing," Ron reminded him with a knowing look in his eyes.
Harry nodded at the subtle reminder that there was an Order meeting an hour after dinner. Though, how he could forget when Hermione was in the library finishing an essay rather than at the table was still a mystery. Ever since the fiasco in fifth year and recently, when Ron had been accepted into the Order, the youngest boy in a family of six sons had matured greatly.
The added responsibility of keeping anything that had to do with Sirius's death and Order business secret had made Ron think more before he acted. It also gave him a bit more confidence as the Order had allowed him in on the basis of who he was and his own assets, not what family or whom he was friends with.
After what had happened fifth year, Dumbledore had taken to keeping Harry informed of what was really happening with the Order with Harry's promise that he would not speak of it to anyone and Harry hadn't. The messages that summer had always been delivered by Fawkes so no one could tamper with the information. Then, at the end of sixth year Dumbledore had asked Harry to join the Order when he became of age and could use his magic outside of school.
It hadn't taken long over that summer for Dumbledore to accept Hermione into the Order when Harry began asking her questions about things no one could quite determine and she would give him her perspective on it, usually solving the problem. Of course, Harry hadn't told her what it was for at the time, but it helped Dumbledore to understand just how important she was to the cause and to keep Harry out of trouble.
The only other member that was still in school was Ron. When Harry and Hermione had explained that anything they did that required strategy was planned out by Ron, Dumbledore had spoken with the Gryffindor himself and even lost a game of wizarding chess to him. Dumbledore had asked and Ron had accepted immediately. It had been near the beginning of seventh year and all three had proved that they were mature enough to handle what was happening. Ron's reminder of the Order meeting reminded Harry of the private meeting he had with Dumbledore as he watched the Professor leave the Head table.
"Ron, I'm going to go for a walk to calm myself down. I'll meet you and Hermione in the library later."
"Okay, mate. Don't forget or we'll never get this project done," Ron answered, knowing better than to try and get the real reason Harry was leaving early from the meal.
Harry nodded and stood from the table. He had only gotten a few steps away when he heard his name being called from behind him. He turned to see Professor McGonagall striding down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables towards him.
"Mr. Potter, you will follow me," she said, fixing Harry with a stern gaze before turning and striding in the direction she had just come from.
Harry followed her without question, knowing that it looked to the rest of the Great Hall as if he were in trouble yet again for something. It was his cover. If anyone saw him going to the Professor's office now, they would just assume he had gotten into trouble with McGonagall rather than on his way to a meeting. The Professor led him to her office where Dumbledore was already waiting. McGonagall closed the plain wooden door and placed several very strong privacy charms about the room.
"Ah, Harry. Please, sit. Would you care for a Lemon Drop?"
Dumbledore asked as McGonagall took a seat in front of her desk beside Harry whom sat in his usual chair with the worn red velvet cushion on it. The office was filled mostly with shelves that held varying books on transfiguration and some tasteful cat figures. There was a simple shield bearing the Gryffindor crest on it above the entrance, but nothing else to show that McGonagall was the Head of Gryffindor House. Harry politely declined the Lemon Drop and waited for whatever information Dumbledore was about to tell him.
"I'm afraid I have some rather unsettling news about Morag MacDougal. I thank you for writing down your dream this morning and sending it to me immediately. We found the Dark Mark on Morag's arm. This, and what I will tell you in a moment is information that is only going to be shared with those that are deepest in the Order. This information cannot get out into the open as it will undoubtedly be to our disadvantage and will likely cause another death like what has just happened.
Dumbledore leaned forward over the large mahogany desk he sat at, the ever-present twinkle in his eyes gone and his years showing on his face, "Morag's contacts were not legitimate. As soon as we discovered the mark, the advanced members of the Order investigated. Every one of Morag's contacts was a Death Eater. Minor ones, but this proves that there was betrayal in the Order's midst. Even though Morag was only privy to the least information possible, every plan of action that Morag had known about was countered in some way by Voldemort's men."
Harry looked at the Headmaster in confusion, "But Morag never once told us anything about what the Death Eaters were doing. Professor, in my dream Voldemort called Morag a traitor, but if Morag was a Death Eater and was the one betraying us, why would Voldemort have believed that Morag was betraying him?"
"I don't know, Harry, but I received this on my desk when I awoke this morning," Dumbledore said, handing Harry a piece of parchment that had been folded in half.
Harry opened it with a bit of trepidation until he recognized the handwriting as the same writing that had been used on every note that had correctly warned the Order about several of Voldemort's more sinister plans. The notes were from an unknown contact that knew about the Order, though not even Dumbledore knew who the person was. The latest warning had been the attack on the Burrow just that past Saturday night. The attack that Morag supposedly warned the Order about, but hadn't.
Headmaster, you may not know this yet, but Morag MacDougal was a Death Eater. This traitor was double-crossing the Order by giving information to Voldemort freely. Morag was not under the Imperious at any time. I have ensured that Morag is eliminated, as Voldemort cannot win. No, I am not a member of the Order. I am a Death Eater, though if I was not who I am, I would not be. Do not restrict him from living as he wishes, but do watch Harry most carefully. Voldemort is planning something, most assuredly.
Harry, I am certain that you are reading this. Just remember that appearances can be deceiving and that the presence, or absence, of the Dark Mark makes neither a foe nor an ally. Not all of us can conduct our lives how we want, but must behave as we are expected or forced to. Be on your guard. I am doing all I can to ensure Voldemort loses from my side, but you all must prepare yourselves from your side as well. Your closest friends and your greatest foes will never betray.
"I don't understand some of this, Professor. The contact has never been anything but straightforward in what he tells us, but half of this letter is written in near riddles. The way these sentences are phrased is not how one would expect. I don't understand," Harry said, almost to himself as he handed the letter back to Dumbledore.
"Ahh, you are referring to the part where the contact is speaking to you. This contact is a student, it can be no faculty member or I would know without a doubt. He also seems to know a lot about you and how you do things around this school. I have my suspicions of at least the house of this contact, however, voicing them now would possibly be fatal to the contact.
"We should not rule out anyone, though I do not believe that it could be a Gryffindor. I don't say that because I believe that Gryffindors are not able to become Voldemort's servants, but rather that they are not made for this kind of struggle at such a young age. There is a reason why so few Gryffindors are allowed into the Order before they have graduated. Even Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley have no knowledge of just how far into the Order you are, unless you have told them…" Dumbledore trailed off, watching Harry over the top of his glasses.
"No, Professor. The less they know of my involvement beyond where they are, the safer they will be if something… happens," Harry mumbled the last word, hardly able to think of what could happen, much less say it out loud.
"I didn't believe you had said anything, but one cannot be sure of everything in such trying times. This contact also knows much of the intricacies of the Order, while they have even admitted that they are not part of the Order, but instead are a Death Eater. The contact's missives have been discovered by numerous faculty members that are in the Order and few people outside of the faculty were even aware that Morag MacDougal was a part of the Order. Filius, Minerva, and Severus have all received the contact's mysteriously appearing messages as well as myself."
"How is it that this contact is able to find out these things and leave these warnings without even one of the Order seeing him? I was positive that the offices and chambers of all faculty, especially in the Order were charmed against anyone coming or going without alerting the Professor to the movement," Harry said, looking to his left at McGonagall for the answer. She nodded and let Professor Dumbledore answer further.
"They are indeed, but not all of these messages have been left in the open, like they have been on my desk. It is possible the contact was at one time in my office alone with enough time to place a homing spell upon the corner top for just such a purpose. There are many spells upon my desk, Harry and even I am unaware of all of them as the desk has been there since before I became a Headmaster. Only one teacher has actually found the notes in his chambers and only the Professors know where his chambers are actually located. The members of his own house only know about a decoy room where they can get into contact with their Head-of-House. I realize this is a lot of information to take in right now, but it will give you something to think about when you are alone in the common room," Dumbledore's voice gave off the impression that he knew what Harry usually did at night, and Harry was not surprised.
McGonagall looked closely at Harry and saw the light circles under his eyes. "Perhaps you would like a copy of your half of the letter to discuss with Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley as they know that we have gotten these for a while now? If the night becomes an exceptionally long one, Harry, do not hesitate to use a Dreamless Sleep potion. That is why they were given to you. Everyone needs a chance to have uninterrupted sleep at some time," she said.
Harry nodded, not wanting to tell her that he had used all four of the vials over the past month just so he could get some sleep. Nor did he want to tell her that no potion worked if he had visions, and he'd been having more of them lately than actual nightmares.
"You will inform me if you have any suspicions about the contact, correct?" Dumbledore asked, quickly copying the portion of the letter that McGonagall had suggested and handing it over to Harry.
Harry, in turn, nodded and accepted the folded parchment, "I know that this is the only contact left that has proven completely reliable and I will not even speak of this to anyone without taking extreme precautions. We need to save as many lives as we can and I will do all I can to ensure that there are no more incidents like last night."
"Very good, Harry."
Harry stood and nodded to the two Professors, then, waited for McGonagall to undo the charms about the room. He wasn't surprised that she had said very little during the important part of the rather brief meeting. She usually didn't say anything unless it was about his well-being or about a mission that she thought would be far too dangerous for him or any other younger Order member.
After Harry had left, both Professors tiredly leaned back in their respective chairs. McGonagall looked over at Dumbledore, "This war is going to do more damage than we really anticipated, Albus. Especially to the youths that have become entangled in this mess."
"I know, Minerva. I know."
"He's only seventeen. He's just barely an adult, many of them are, and they are all being expected to act far older, especially Harry. He's still learning, Albus. Not just about magic, but about himself and about our world. A world that seems to expect him to be able to do everything and anything that is asked of him."
"I agree with you, my dear. Harry has always shown that he can handle the stress, but it is still too much pressure placed upon a mind as young as his. Which is generally why I have always allowed him to do as much as he does without punishment. Harry has often taken to walks by the lake at night. Some nights he returns to his dorm room and others he moves to an abandoned room at the top of the south-east tower. Hedwig keeps him company in both places and I have the Merfolk and Firenze watching out for him during these excursions," Dumbledore could see a protest forming from the Gryffindor Head of House and continued.
"It helps ease the stress if he is not confined where others will question if he does something out of the ordinary. He does most of his class work in the tower room which is why he seems to be doing slightly better in some classes. Also, Harry is afraid to sleep at night. During the afternoons he naps when he hasn't slept decently and the nightmares and visions don't seem to come as frequently and he can sleep much better because of it. Mr. Weasley, his sister, Mr. Longbottom, whom you know is actually a very light sleeper, and Miss Granger are all keeping me informed of his activities when they can," Dumbledore paused.
"Severus has also made another batch of Dreamless Sleep Potion for Harry. Do not worry, Minerva," Dumbledore said, holding up a hand when he saw her about to protest. "Harry knows that he can become dependant on the potion and is very careful about how often he takes it. Once a week is not giving him as much sleep as he needs, but at least he's getting more now than he was at the start of term."
"You mean that he hasn't been sleeping since September first? Albus, it's already a month before the Christmas holidays!"
"Yes, and from what I've been able to get out of Harry, he hasn't slept well at the Dursleys' since the Triwizard Tournament, not even mentioning what happened fifth year. Even when Peter Pettigrew is captured and brought before the Ministry, all it will do is bring Harry a small peace of mind that our world will know Sirius was never what they assumed him to be. As you said, Minerva, our world will not allow him to simply be a normal teenager and after everything that's been written about him, even with Fudge admitting that Voldemort had returned, there are a lot of people that are still wary of anything Harry says or does. Come, the meeting will be starting soon."
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