HARRY POTTER AND THE UNFORGIVEN
A Sixth Year Harry Potter Fanfiction
BY
Jayiin Mistaya
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
...never tickle a sleeping dragon
COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to Harry Potter. Those rights are held, exclusively, by JK Rowling, and any other entities, corporations, subsidiaries, or groups not named here possessing legal rights to the aforementioned books and/or trademark.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to everyone for the amazing response to the last chapter! 19 reviews on it alone! I hope for the same response for this chapter!
Thanks to everyone who has been reading, even if you haven't reviewed, and especially to those people who have me on author alert or favorites.
More information on Harry Potter and the Unforgiven can be found at my website, which is linked in my Author Profile. This includes update dates, hints about upcoming chapters, and even a few spoilers.
Feedback of any kind is always appreciated. Remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I post.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:Thanks to Elusive Evan for making me continue to post this and to ElvenLaughter for support and reviewing every single chapter to date.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
From the Inside
She had wanted to dream of Harry.
The Order remained stonily silent about what they knew, and day by day, Ginny was more and more convinced they knew what was going on. She had wanted to dream of him because she might see how he was really doing. His last letter had shaken her, leaving her convinced things were worse for him than she'd imagined. Scared that he was losing hope.
She was afraid she was starting to lose hope.
Part of her had hoped the Ministry might have scared the Dursleys into behaving, but the tone of his letter had shown her it was a false hope. Her only chance was to dream of him.
So she had gone to bed early, but before sleep came, she took hold of her own thoughts and opened her mind, peeling away layer upon layer of mental defenses. Occlumency wasn't so much shields around the mind, though that was as close a metaphor as many people could grasp. It was a way of thinking, a method of controlling, organizing and mastering thought.
She'd become rather adept at the art and it had been a long time since she'd had to consciously clear her mind. But that night, for the first time in four years, she shed her protections, and reached down the paths in her thoughts that lead outside herself.
Ironically, it had been Tom Riddle who had first taught her how to do this. She reached outside herself, towards Harry.
Then she had slept.
She had dreamed of Harry.
She had dreamed of mirrors and distorted faces and hissing voices. She had dreamed of whispered threats and disturbing promises and finally she had dreamed of pain.
Now, she was curled into a corner of her bed, her body aching with an echo of pain that wasn't hers. Her clothes were soaked in sweat, but she felt cold to her bones. If she closed her eyes, she could still see Harry staring into a mirror, his voice rising and falling with the strange sibilant, oddly melodic contortions of sound that was Parseltongue. She could still hear the voice that answered him, horrible and cold.
Little by little, Ginny re-constructed her mental defenses, closing her mind and forcing the dream away. The pain faded and so did the shaking.
She uncurled and forced herself to don her dressing robe and head downstairs to where the ever-present fire crackled in the hearth. Bill was asleep in an armchair, guarding the fire. She curled up on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest. She closed her eyes and breathed, trying to control her shaking.
I want him to be okay.
Even if it was just the life-debt...she wanted him to be okay.
She knew she shouldn't have lowered her defenses, but she had wanted to dream of him, if only to see him. And it wasn't like Occlumency had kept out the Harry dreams before.
She wondered what the Order would say if they knew the bond from the life-debt could get inside her Occlumency? That even with her mind fully protected, she still dreamed of Harry?
Probably not nearly as much as they'd say if they knew I'd opened my mind just to dream of him.
Part of her wondered what the wizarding world would think of the poor little Weasley girl being that intimately connected to the Boy Who Lived.
It had to be more than just the Wizarding Life Debt. Had it started before then? How could it have? He didn't know I existed!
But she had known about him.
She had always wondered about his story, wondered what it was like to grow up not knowing he had saved the world – her world – from a horrible monster's mad dreams. What would it feel like to enter the wizarding world? Would it be like coming home, or would it be an alien place?
What kind of person would he be? What kind of friends would he have?
She was only a little younger than him...maybe she could be his friend, if they went to the same magic school?
But the little girl daydreams became a schoolgirl crush as soon as she laid eyes on him in King's Cross. He had been handsome, for an eleven-year-old...lost, but with those beautiful green eyes that had tried to see everything at once. She'd known he was special, just looking at him.
Then he'd turned out to be Harry Potter, her brother's best friend. She had been so madly in love and terrified of him...and then he saved her life.
After, he had ignored the fact that she existed. Sometimes, she thought he hadn't had the chance to notice her. They didn't have any classes together; every time he started to talk to her, someone would get in the way. There would be a teacher there, or a brother or her parents.
Especially last summer. No one had let her speak to him alone for more than a few words. Nor had anyone let her be around him for longer than it took her mother to assign chores.
She had seen a glimpse of his world last summer at the Ministry, and when he had tried to send them away the desperate fear in his eyes had struck something in her.
She stared at the fire, waiting for any word.
She probably wouldn't hear anything.
There was a soft knocking sound, startling the red-headed girl. She jumped up, looking around the darkened room, and heard it again.
The front door?
She got up slowly, clutching her wand and peered out the window.
Ginny blinked in surprise when she saw Hermione's face.
Hermione? What is she doing here? I thought she was in Bulgaria!
She quickly opened the door. Hermione stepped inside and stopped right in front of Ginny.
"You were right," she said softly, "and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to forget."
Ginny hugged the older girl. "It's all right. But do you realize what time it is?"
"Of course I do," Hermione nodded. "I made Tonks bring me here anyway. It took all day, what with me not able to Apparate, and her not able to Side Along or make Portkeys."
Ginny blinked, just then noticing Tonks standing behind Hermione, levitating her trunk and looking more put-out than Hermione.
Hermione imperiously motioned Tonks past them, still looking at Ginny. "Where's Ron? We have to talk!"
Ginny gave a small smile, thinking she knew why Hermione had come to the Burrow. Maybe she read one of his letters after all?
"He's upstairs. Go...he misses you."
She gave Hermione's shoulder a gentle push.
"No!" She spun around. "I'm not here about me, or Ron! I'm here because of Harry! I saw him!"
Ginny's whole world stopped, and she sucked in air. "You saw him? You checked on him anyway?"
Hermione nodded, shutting the door behind her. "I saw him. I went to Privet Drive and his aunt...that horrible woman...I saw the cupboard where they're keeping him. And Crookshanks found this."
She thrust the bloody scrap of cloth into Ginny's hands. Ginny clutched it in her fist, cold certainty mingling with the anger that had been growing all summer. They have no right to do this to him.
"You saw him?" Ginny asked again. She was terrified of the answer, but she had to know.
Hermione looked shaken, and led Ginny to the couch, making her sit down before she would say anything.
"Yes, I saw him. His aunt let something slip, about a gym where Harry and Dudley were training. I went there and tried to see him, but this great red-headed git wouldn't let me. I went across the street to call a cab so I could stake out his house, but then I saw him! He came out of the gym to catch a bus with an older woman. He seemed to trust her." She wiped at her eyes, annoyed at herself for crying again. "He looked...oh, god, he was so pale, so thin, and he had these bruises..."
"Who had what bruises?"
Ginny and Hermione both started and looked up at Ron, coming down the stairs, rubbing sleep from his eyes.
"I heard Hermione's voice, so I came down. When did you get here, anyway? I thought you were in Bulgaria." He took a breath, and looked like he was about to say something else, but one look at Hermione's face changed his mind.
"C'mere, you." He held out his arms to her; he didn't know much about comforting distraught girls, but he knew Hermione liked hugs, and she looked like she needed some kind of comfort right then. Hermione threw herself at him, holding on tightly. "Hey...shh, hey, it's okay." Ron said, surprised, awkwardly putting his arms around her. "Just start at the beginning..."
Hermione launched into a recap of what she had told Ginny. By then, she was back to sniffling, and Ron had sat her back down on the couch. She was still clutching him as if he were a lifeline.
"He was so...quiet. Not quiet like Harry normally is. It was...different. He held himself different, even moved different."
Ginny shivered, remembering the letter, how Harry had said he was changing.
Hermione sat up, pulling away from Ron, even though she was still leaning into him. "I saw him look up, and his eyes...were so empty and intense at the same time...and he had these bruises, great purple marks on his face and arms. His skin was horridly pale. He was so thin he was almost emaciated."
A note of anger was creeping back into her voice.
"I bloody well knew those Muggles would do something horrid like this." The three teens looked up to see Molly Weasley standing the doorway to her bedroom. Bill had long since woken up and was staring at them all thoughtfully.
"He was hurt, then?" Bill asked.
Hermione nodded, glaring at Tonks. "Yes."
Ron's face had darkened with anger and Ginny was pale with worry. Molly was nearly beside herself.
Hermione turned to Tonks. "Tell us what you know."
The young Auror was visibly torn. Her hair was cycling through colors and her face seemed to twist itself around. "I can't."
"You can't?" Hermione whispered, her voice crackling with sharp edges and subdued threat as she stood. "All your talk about giving the Order a chance meant nothing, then? This is your chance, Nymphadora Tonks. This is the Order's only chance. If you're not going to help us, then bloody well get out, because I won't have you telling the Order what we do next." She looked to Bill. "You too. Make your choice. This has gone far enough."
"Damn straight it has," Charlie said from the kitchen. "You vanished with barely a word, Hermione, and left us to search for you. You disobeyed orders, but you won't this time. You will stay right where you are, all of you. Tonks, go back and do your job. I'll deal with these three."
Ron was confused. Hermione had disappeared? There had been a search for her? He wasn't surprised no one had told them, but he was definitely upset about it. Just one more thing the Order of the Phoenix was going to have to answer for.
Hermione ignored Charlie and turned her gaze back to Tonks. "Make your choice."
Charlie took a step forward into the room, and Hermione's gaze shifted from Tonks to him. He just stopped moving when he met Hermione's eyes.
Tonks looked at Charlie with something akin to sympathy.
Hermione stared hard at Charlie, her eyes smoldering like heated steel. "Get out. You've no part in this. Ginny told me what you did, and I won't have you in our way. Like usual, the 'adults' have made a mess of things and we 'children' have to clean it up."
Charlie met Hermione's eyes for a long moment. "You don't want to do this, Hermione. You really don't."
"Yes. I do. I would have done it back in Little Whinging if Tonks hadn't stopped me. Harry needs us right now. I'm not leaving him there with those people a minute longer than I have to. He's living in a tiny cupboard under the stairs. He's sleeping on a cot stained with his blood. He wouldn't leave any one of us. We're not leaving him." Hermione had raised her wand and had it leveled at Charlie. "Get out."
Charlie sighed. "I really wish you weren't doing this. And I amsorry. Sorrier than you'll ever know." And he walked out of the room.
Ron stared at Hermione, and had to admit – he was impressed. Normally it was Harry who decided to do the stupidly heroic thing and rallied the troops. He saw her standing there, outlined by the firelight, her eyes smoldering with anger, her wand held out.
Damn. She's beautiful. But he wouldn't ever say that out loud. He was amused at himself for having such an out-of-place thought, but decided he really didn't mind having it.
Hermione sat back down next to Ron and put her hand on his arm as she re-directed her glare back to Tonks.
Tonks was wringing her hands and looking at Bill. He smiled slightly and nodded to her, speaking softly, as if only to her. "It's okay. You can tell them."
Ron looked at Bill, his blue eyes meeting Bill's. They were the only two of all the children to get their father's blue eyes, and Molly had often said they were two of a kind – except for schoolwork. "You're with us, then? You're not going to go rat us out to the Order?"
"I'm with you," Bill said. "I don't like him being there any more than you do."
Tonks threw her hands up in the air. "I am going to get into so much trouble."
Molly sat down next to Ron and Hermione and everyone scooted down to make room for her. "That's okay dear. So are we."
Tonks sat, and folded the invisibility cloak in her lap. "I've been assigned to keep an eye on Harry for the Order, alternating nights and days. It's been bad this summer. Umbridge was there the first day to tell the Dursleys they had a free hand, as per Fudge's little proclamation. And the Dursleys have taken every advantage of that."
Molly's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
"Harry's Uncle is beating him," Tonks answered almost before Molly had finished her question, her hair rapidly shifting through steadily darker colors before settling on a dark auburn. She'd wanted to tell someone for weeks now. "I don't think he's gotten much food, either. Not only that, but his cousin's been training to be a fistboxer, and Harry's been his practice dummy."
She looked at Hermione, hoping the girl would understand. "I haven't been allowed to do a damn thing about it. If I tried, they would have sent someone else to watch him. I wanted to be there for him, at least a little bit. I wanted it to be someone who at least cared."
Hermione's face softened as she saw some of the anguish Tonks had been through. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I did. I told Snape. Just like I was supposed to."
Molly's scowl deepened. "I see. Where do you fit into all of this, Hermione?"
Tonks had an answer for that, too: "Hermione here had been helping do some work for the Order in Bulgaria." Tonks looked over in time to see Ron seem to frown and cringe at the same time. Hermione looked over at him, and he forced a smiled for her. He saw the fear in her eyes – fear he was going to send her away for what she'd done.
He moved closer, put a hand on her forearm and whispered into her ear. "It's okay, 'Mione. We're okay. I promise."
Some of the tension left Hermione and she collapsed back against him, trying to hide the shame and guilt in her eyes.
Tonks was looking at Bill again, but Bill was watching Ginny. She was hugging herself and staring at nothing.
"After Ginny contacted her, and McGonagall forbid her from contacting Harry, she vanished. We still don't know how she did it, but she vanished. She left a note, but we were afraid Death Eaters had gotten to her. Planted the note or somesuch. It wouldn't be the first time they've done something like that."
Ron slipped his arms around Hermione's waist, pulling her closer. To his surprise, she let him. He didn't like the idea of Hermione being taken by Death Eaters – or having to run away from the Order. He didn't want to think how she would react if the Order punished her over what she'd done.
But he was still proud of her for vanishing out from under McGonagall's nose.
Tonks rested her forehead against her hand. "Just when we're going to start a search for her, Hermione shows up in Little Whinging, and I almost don't recognize her until she just about charges across a crowded street to get to Harry. If she had," Tonks threw Hermione a glare, her eyes literally flashing red, "she would have broken the isolation Fudge imposed on him, giving the old fart more of a hold on him. So I grabbed her, and we...err...decided to come here. I couldn't Side-Along Apparate her or make a Portkey the Ministry couldn't track. The Knight Bus doesn't run here anymore, because of the wards, so it took a bit work to get us both here."
Hermione sat up. "Yes, you brought me here all right. After I disarmed you and held you at wand point."
Ron grinned proudly, and Molly Weasley stood up.
"Well, there's nothing to it, then." Molly radiated the quiet confidence and intensity, the staggering surety, of a mother about to do something to protect her children. "Ron, Ginny. Go get dressed and get your wands. We'll be going to get him out."
"I think not," a cold voice sneered.
They all looked up to see Severus Snape walking in the back door, followed by Charlie. Tall and sallow and contemptuous, he strode into the middle of the living room and sneered at everyone as if they were particularly stupid children caught doing something unpleasant.
Ginny stood, stared at the Potion's Master with undisguised anger. "Tonks said you know what they're doing to Harry. Why is he still there?"
Snape sighed impatiently. "Watch your tone, girl. Potter is perfectly safe, if worse for the wear. I'm sure his hide can withstand a few bruises, even if his ego cannot. The Headmaster was most explicit in his final instructions to the Order. Potter is to remain with his relatives until the start of term."
He glanced around the room. "Though it is readily apparent the Order will soon have two more empty seats, as Tonks and Granger obviously cannot be trusted not to break down every time Potter needs someone to wipe his nose."
Molly pointed her finger at Snape. "Now you listen here!"
"Be quiet and listen for once, Molly," Severus snapped. "We cannot remove or interfere with or even contact Potter because Cornelius Fudge, in all his great wisdom, will take him and lock him away in a place that would make the Dursleys seem like a garden resort. If you care about the boy at all, respect that those who know far more than you have already made decisions concerning the matter!"
"I will not let it be, Severus! What if the boy is seriously injured? Or injured too often? What then, do you propose?"
"Potter is one boy. If he dies, then Voldemort loses a target and the Order loses a liability. Be grateful we simply don't hand him to the Ministry! Yes, the boy is hurt, but he is also alive."
"For how long? How long until he can't take it anymore, or his Uncle takes things too far?" Ginny wanted to scream, to throttle the Professor, but she forced herself to at least try to sound civil.
"I hope we never find out. Now cease interfering in what is not your concern and return to your dull, quaint little lives!"
"No!" Ginny screamed. "You can't leave him there anymore, and if you do, we're going to go get him. You think you can stop us? Really stop us, without hurting us?"
"Get it through your thick skull, child. You will do nothing else. You will do nothing to attract attention. Tonks, Granger, this goes double for you. Do not leave the Burrow. Do not contact Harry Potter. The Headmaster will deal with you when he returns!"
"And just when will that be?" Molly asked in a soft, sweet voice her children knew meant certain death was approaching.
"Likely, whenever the headmaster feels like it. Which I am sure we will discover when he returns." Snape's lip curled as he continued to sneer at the Weasleys. "Do not make me force you to remain."
Bill stood and suddenly there was a sense of power and strength crackling about him like barely restrained static. In that moment, those who knew him well were reminded of Albus Dumbledore, who could do much the same thing – though compared to Dumbledore, Bill's power was a paltry thing.
Compared to Severus Snape's, his power was rather impressive.
"No. You won't." Bill's voice was soft. "You will not threaten my mother or any member of my family on our own home. And if you try something so utterly stupid as trying to keep me or my family from going where we wish, I'll show you exactly why even the Aurors are afraid of Curse Breakers."
Snape's sneer faltered as he met Bill's eyes, but he held his ground. He'd stood before the Dark Lord in all his rage and he'd stood before Dumbledore, his mind laid bare. He wouldn't be cowed by a Weasley, of all people.
"Take the boy from his relatives and he will be no longer be protected from the Dark Lord. He will be in Cornelius Fudge's hands, and even if, for some reason, Dolores Umbridge doesn't torture him into insanity, one of the many Death Eaters working for the Ministry would be delighted to take him before the Dark Lord." His sneer re-gained its former prominence as he turned back to Ginny and Hermione. "Potter will live through the summer. Who knows, maybe he'll actually learn to keep his mouth shut and that the world does not revolve around him."
"What makes you think he'll survive?" Hermione asked, refusing to flinch away from him. This wasn't Hogwarts. The only power he had over her here was what she chose to give him.
She gave him nothing.
"Fudge needs him alive," Snape drawled slowly, as if explaining to someone he suspected of being mentally challenged. "I would have thought, Granger, that you of all people would grasp what the Minister is doing?"
Hermione looked at Snape as if Snape were the stupid one. "Obviously. Harry will eventually do something to make his uncle mad enough to really hurt him. The Ministry steps in, 'rescues' him and Fudge is hailed as a hero, Professor Dumbledore is revealed as the one who left him there, defenseless, and he won't have a say in what happens to Harry anymore. His credibility will be damaged if not destroyed, and Fudge will have a much freer hand."
Snape almost looked somewhat mollified. "Perhaps you have a hope of understanding the situation, Granger. Now, just maybe, you can use that overly eager intellect of yours to figure out why you shouldn't so much as speak to Potter until he's removed from there?"
She smiled prettily at Snape, as if humoring him. "No need. As of tonight, Fudge has failed. Professor Dumbledore isn't around, so he can't be blamed. We go in, rescue him, and take with us proof Umbridge interfered with Harry. Petunia has a letter from Umbridge giving them carte blanch to keep Harry from the wizarding world and promises protection from the Order. I read it. We steal the letter and go to the media and the Wizengamot with our proof, showing that as soon as Harry was taken from Dumbledore's protection and as soon as Fudge interfered, he was beaten and starved. Fudge is hoisted on his own petard, and Harry is safe."
Snape looked taken aback. "Where would you put him, Granger, that the Dark Lord could not reach him?"
Hermione held up her hand and ticked off fingers. "Hogwarts. The muggle world – it's easy to hide someone in a hotel behind a false name and a paper trail. Durmstrang. We have allies there now. I helped see to that." She looked at Bill. "I'm sure Gringotts has places even his minions can't find we could use, for a price." Then she shrugged. "Or, really, anywhere. Because I'm suresomeone in the Order can cast a Fidelius Charm."
"Very well, Miss Granger. How do you propose to block the Ministry from preventing your little rescue? They have plenty of agents watching Privet Drive." Snape was sounding less and less smug.
Ginny's eyes blazed like hot coals. So Fudge's little goons were watching him too? Is Percy one of them? Is he enjoying watching Harry get beaten?
Hermione rolled her eyes at Snape. "One person Harry trusts sneaks in under an invisibility cloak, we Disillusion his things, Harry hides in his own cloak, and we sneak back out."
Ron grinned at Hermione. She was good.
"It's a workable plan," Bill said calmly.
Snape smiled. It was a cold, bitter, triumphant expression. "Yes. And if Miss Granger had bothered to put half as much thought into her earlier search as she did this plan, it might have worked. But while she was dragging Tonks across England, Potter vanished. As we did not have a guard to follow him, we no longer know where he is. The instruments in Dumbledore's office show he is not at Privet Drive, and nothing I or Kingsley Shacklebolt have done has revealed his location." His eyes fell back on Hermione. "This is exactly the sort of thing I would normally classify as an 'emergency' and would therefore contact the Headmaster. However, as someone has already used our only way of contacting him, I cannot."
Hermione slumped back in her chair with a horrified gasp. What had she done? Ron put his arms back around her. But even as she swam through the guilt, another thought slipped through.
Dumbledore was still gone. No one had heard from him yet. She wasn't sure what it meant, especially in light of her letter to him, but she didn't like it. She'd expected him to have sent word by now, at least to the rest of the Order. If only to tell them what to do about her.
Molly stood, and to everyone's satisfaction, Snape took an involuntary step back at the fury in her eyes. "If you're so all knowing, I suggest you find him! Immediately!"
Snape sniffed contemptuously. "Sit down, woman. Fortunately, until this point, Tonks has performed her duty, and I know enough about Potter's habits to have already begun a search. Arabella Figg and Mundungus Fletcher are watching Privet Drive. Moody and Shacklebolt are watching the gym. If, by tomorrow morning, Potter has not re-appeared, we will widen the search. Once he is located, then you can attempt Granger's plan, if you still believe a bit of actual discipline is harmful to Potter's health." He smiled his twisted smile again. "If I bother to inform any of you as to his whereabouts."
Snape whirled to stride back out the door, but Bill was already standing in front of it. No one had noticed him move. His wand was in his hand, held loosely at his side.
"You knew what was happening to him. If he's really been hurt, I'm holding you personally responsible."
The threat hung in the air for a moment before Snape responded. It wasn't lost on anyone watching that his sneer was less than enthusiastic.
"You act as if he were your family, Weasley. He's not."
Bill's smile lacked any emotion at all. "You let us decide who is or isn't family. It's safer for you that way."
"This is the last time I will allow you to threaten me, Weasley," Snape hissed.
"I've never once threatened you, Severus," Bill said coolly. "I've just told you what would happen. If you've let your juvenile grudge against Harry's father blind you to his danger, then you'll have proven us right about you. We'll know you're a coward and a liar and a man so petty he won't let go of something that happened before Harry was born. You'll pay for it and not a single one of us will have to lift a wand."
"How dare you judge me!" Snape's hand twitched as if he desperately wanted to go for his wand.
"Bill, that's enough!" Charlie said.
"Shut up, Charlie. You've done enough damage." Bill's words snapped through the air like a whip.
Charlie actually shrank back from the tone in his brother's voice.
Bill and Snape glared at each other. Finally, Snape broke away. "I will inform you when I learn where Potter is. Until then, wait here."
Bill smiled again. "Thank you, Severus. I'll expect to hear from you soon. If I don't, I'll come find you." And he got out Snape's way.
As the door closed behind Snape, Molly looked at Charlie, her eyes sad. "Charlie, I think it would be best if you went back to Fleur for a few days, until this is all sorted out. We'll talk about this later."
There is something about the disappointment of one's mother that can hurt, even when one has full faith in what they are doing and why they're doing it. That pain showed clearly on Charlie's face as he nodded.
"Sure, Mum," he tentatively gave his mother a hug. "I really am sorry, you know. I just think interfering in this is the wrong thing to do."
Molly held her son for a moment. "I know, dear, I know. But you're wrong about this and you're wrong about Harry, no matter what Fleur saw."
Charlie pulled back and shrugged. "I want to be wrong, I really do. So does she."
Molly patted him on the cheek. "Go on, then."
Charlie walked outside, looking for all the world like a man walking into exile.
Ron and Hermione shared a glance. Fleur had seen something? And what about Harry was Charlie wrong about?
Hermione and Ron both looked over at Ginny, who nodded at them. She'd noticed it too. As usual, there was more going on than even the adults they nominally trusted was willing to share, and as usual, it was about Harry.
Does he ever get a break? Ginny wondered.
Molly plied the three of them with hot chocolate and biscuits, got Ron to carry Hermione's bag upstairs, and the adults retired to the kitchen to talk amongst themselves about things they didn't think the children needed to know.
Hermione watched them in disgust. The Order had forfeited their chance. As usual, it would be the 'children' who would deal with things. They would save Harry, despite the Order and despite the Ministry. She had no faith in Snape to tell them truth about Harry, even if he could be found. She had some small hope Molly would tell them, but she wasn't going to count on it.
Fine, she thought, scooping up Crookshanks, if this is how they want it, then this it how it will be.
- 0 -
Five years of habitually hiding from the adults to clandestinely discuss whatever current or impending crises loomed over their heads had given Ron and Hermione lots of practice in sneaking about and hiding what they were doing.
They met in Fred and George's old room, despite the risk of booby-traps and leftover pranks, because they were fairly sure the twins would have found and removed any way for the Order to listen in, to say nothing of whatever other protections the twins had come up with. Not being able to use magic over the summer had never stopped those Fred and George.
They sat as far from the door as they could, huddled in a corner. Hermione sat in against the back wall with Ron and Ginny on either side of her. None of them had their backs to the door.
Crookshanks was lying in front of the door. If anyone came too close, he'd wake up and they would know. They kept the lights off to hide the fact they were in the room at all.
"For five years now," Hermione said, "I have tried to advocate caution. I've always said we should talk to the professors, trust the fully-trained witches and wizards to take care of things. But they never seem to. It's always come down to us, in the end. I don't know why it does, really, but it's readily apparent it's down to us again."
Ginny's mouth twitched into a half-smile. "Seems odd it always ends up being a bunch of kids who save the day, doesn't it?"
Hermione sighed. "I hate this. We've done so much, been through so much and they still don't trust us to do anything. Even with everything I figured out, they're still hiding secrets about Harry. It always comes down to him, you know. Always. And I think I know why."
She launched into a quick recap of the conclusions she'd reached in Bulgaria: the prophecy the Order had been guarding was about Harry and Voldemort, and it proved Harry could defeat him, and because of that, Harry would always be the crux of events concerning Voldemort.
"Even when Sirius escaped, it was about Voldemort and Harry," Hermione didn't even notice she didn't always stutter when she said the name these days. Ron and Ginny didn't so much as twitch. "Peter Pettigrew escaped and went on to bring his master back. Prophecies are conditions of possible – or likely – future events. I don't understand it all yet. I need to research Voldemort and research prophecies and divination," Hermione said this last with distaste, "and figure things out. Still, that's neither here nor there. Until they find Harry, we can't do anything to help him, but I want to test a theory."
"What theory is that?" Ron asked.
Hermione looked at him, and could see the curiosity – and hurt – in his bright blue eyes. Even in the dark, she could see their color. They were sitting close enough for her to feel the heat from his body, and it made her shiver.
This wasn't like Ron. He was acting like everything was forgiven. He hadn't once mentioned her letter or her going to Bulgaria.
It's just because he's more worried about Harry than he is mad at me. She knew he was eventually going to say something about her letter, and when he did, she knew the argument would be explosive, even for them. But maybe after, he really will forgive me.
Until then, she had to focus on Harry. "I want Ginny to see if she can sense if Harry's okay or not. I think their connection has grown strong enough that Ginny has been sensing Harry being in danger all summer, and I think if she concentrates, she can sense if he's in danger now."
Hermione didn't mention her building fears about that connection or why it had suddenly grown so strong. It seemed to grow with his link to Voldemort, and was manifesting in the wake of his failed Occlumency training.
Ginny paled. Hermione was more right than she knew. "There's nothing to test. I can sense if he's in danger or if something's a danger to him." She briefly explained the feelings she'd had during the meeting the Weasley children had held and how she'd dreamed of him that night.
The older girl looked at Ginny, and saw the expression her face. It was the same expression that had been there as long as Hermione had known Ginny – an expression for feelings Hermione thought Ginny had sworn away.
"Ginny, there's one thing I don't understand, that might make a difference in things, believe it or not. I thought you'd gotten over Harry?"
"I said I'd given up." Ginny whispered. "I never got over him. I tried. I dated Michael Corner. I wanted to date Dean Thomas. I was forcing myself to see him as just another brother. He was acting so stupid all last year, especially over Cho Chang."
Hermione nodded, glancing over at Ron. But from his expression, nothing Ginny was saying was new to him. If Ginny's okay talking about this in front of Ron...
"Only, he wasn't acting stupid. Not really," Ginny continued quietly. "He didn't know any better with Cho. How could he know anything about dating or girls? Where would he have learned it?"
"I don't know," Hermione answered. "I didn't give that much thought until much later. I was too focused on OWLS and the DA last year. I missed things I should have seen."
"I don't know that he would have let us in, even if we'd known to try," Ron said. "Ever since the Third Task, he's been closed off. We didn't help much, not writing to him last summer. I think it damaged his trust in us. This summer's been no better, really, with only Ginny able to send him a letter."
Ron had tried, after Hermione's letter had come, but Pig had always come back with the letter still attached to his leg.
"So? You're both human." Ginny scoffed. "You're mortal, just like the rest of us. You made mistakes. Just like him. He's forgiven you, you've forgiven him. And I don't know that you could have helped him last year. I don't know that any of us could. The DA was as close as we could get." She gave Hermione a steady look. "And that was all you."
"Why do you think we couldn't have done more?" Hermione had always known relationships were complicated; relationships with or around the Boy Who Lived were bound to be worse. His life – their lives – were already dangerous and complicated and confusing; adding romance and relationships into the mix made it more so.
Ginny sighed. "He was so angry, so hurt, last year. But he had a right to be." Ginny started ticking things off on her fingers. "He knows – everyone knows – Tom is out to kill him, and no one will tell him anything he needs to know. The one person he needs the most – Professor Dumbledore – wouldn't even look at him. Almost everyone thought he was crazy or a liar or worse, and because of Umbridge, he wasn't allowed to defend himself. He even got in trouble for saving his cousin from the Dementors." She paused. "Then despite everything he's done, he's denied being a Prefect, which only makes people think Dumbledore had lost confidence in him. If I were Harry, I'd think so too. If he'd been made Prefect, people would have seen it as a sign Dumbledore trusted him."
Hermione nodded. "Without Dumbledore's support, Harry lost confidence in himself."
Ron winced. They all knew what Dumbledore meant to Harry and how much he relied on the Headmaster's support and quiet guidance. Without it, Harry had lost his anchor. "If he thought Dumbledore didn't trust him, there's nothing we could have said or done. He wouldn't have let us in."
It didn't make his failure to be there for his friend hurt any less, but at least he was starting to understand something of what had been going through Harry's head. He didn't know if Ginny's insight came from the bond or from the letters, but he was glad for it.
Hermione thought about telling her friends her worries about Dumbledore still being out of contact, but decided to save those for later. Dumbledore could take care of himself, and likely had a good reason for staying away.
Ginny continued quietly. "Umbridge tortured him for speaking out. For defending himself. He will never lose that scar."
"He won't?" Hermione asked. "How would you know that?"
Ginny shook her head. "I looked up the blood quill in Hogwarts' library. It's as permanent as the scar Tom gave him."
"Bloody hell," Ron said. "What about Lee Jordan and the others?"
"They'll be fine," Ginny said, "they didn't have nearly as much exposure to it as Harry did. But the pain of it, and the pressures of OWLS and the hell of studying Occlumency with a bastard like Snape..."
Hermione pursed her lips. "Ginny, I'm not sure how much of his trouble learning Occlumency was Snape or his own resistance to the idea."
"Considering how Snape feels about Harry, there is no way for learning Occlumency to be easy. It would have about killed him each time."
Sighing, Hermione bit her lower lip, trying to find a way to politely phrase her question. "Ginny, how would you know what studying Occlumency is like?"
"Because I learned it," Ginny stated flatly. "The summer after my first year. Bill taught me."
Hermione blinked. "What?"
"Bill taught me Occlumency after Tom possessed me, when we were in Egypt that summer. I was so scared of it happening again...he saw me one night, after a nightmare, and we talked. He taught me." Her eyes narrowed. "Don't tell anyone. No one knows, but you, Bill and Ron." She swallowed hard and her eyes lost focus. She seemed to be talking to herself. "I'll tell Harry myself. I promised. No secrets."
She shook herself out of it and looked back at Hermione. "But it means I do have an idea of what Harry went through to learn from Snape. The kinds of places Snape went in his mind."
Hermione wasn't sure what to say. Or to think. How had she missed so much of what was going on? How could I have not known how deeply her first year had affected her?
Ron looked at his sister. "After you told me, it finally made sense why Bill asked us to come visit him in Egypt. I think he suspected you'd need him."
Ginny nodded. She and Bill had always been close, even though he'd spent most of his life away from her. He wasn't as protective as the rest of her brothers and never seemed to loose patience with her like their parents had. But with seven children, who could blame them for being overwhelmed sometimes?
Hermione couldn't stop staring at Ginny. She'd always thought of Ginny as something of a silly child. A girl with a girlish obsession, but also as her only female friend, and the only person who had a clue of understanding how she felt about her two best friends – especially the redheaded one.
Now I learn that Ginny has knowledge and abilities I don't. I didn't even think to look up the blood quill, let alone know what Occlumency was like for Harry.
"How bad was it for him?" Ron was the one to ask, and it shamed Hermione that she was afraid to.
The question seemed to fall flat, and Hermione felt she should say something to Ginny about her first year, her own Occlumency studies, but she couldn't bring herself to.
"Rape," Ginny whispered. "Tom Riddle raped my mind and my soul. He twisted me and hurt me and manipulated me until my mind was weak enough to take over. Bit by bit, stage by stage, he eroded away the part of me that made me who I am by working inside out. Memory by memory, feeling by feeling. He destroyed the natural walls every person has that makes their mind their own. Bill had to enter my mind and walk me back through everything, every memory and emotion, and help me order them, focus them, control them. I love and trust my brother, Hermione. I know he would never hurt me, but it was like being raped all over again when he walked me through it.
"Snape hates Harry. It's a soul-deep hatred. He already uses everything that happens to Harry or around Harry as a weapon. Now he knows Harry's darkest thoughts and feelings, the memories he never shared with anyone, the things that he probably doesn't like to share with himself. With each bit of knowledge of Harry that Snape got, he would understand Harry better, how to go deeper into his mind. I don't think Snape would hesitate to use any of that knowledge to hurt Harry."
"No." Hermione, despite her distrust of the Order, didn't want to believe even Snape would be that vindictive. "He wouldn't do that. Not even him."
"Yeah," Ron said, "he would."
"We have to face what he might be like when we get him back," Ginny said. None of them wanted to think they wouldn't get him back. Even if he had gone missing, the Order would find him and they'd rescue him and bring him to the Burrow. None of them were willing to consider the alternative. "He's been kept isolated all summer. Between his Uncle and his cousin beating him, starvation rations, living in a cupboard, on top of everything else that's happened..."
It was Hermione's turn to shiver. She'd read enough to know what kind of conditions Ginny was describing. "They're trying to break him. If Fudge got a hold of him after all that...he'd be weak, vulnerable."
Ginny shook her head. "No. He'd be angry. He'd lash out. Harry doesn't do weak. Not like that."
Hermione wasn't so sure she agreed. She'd read enough psychology to know what that kind of treatment could do the human mind.
Ron cut in. "What about what Mum said, about Charlie and Fleur? What could it have meant?"
"We know Fleur's part-Veela. Their natural magic is very subtle and most of it is focused on the mind and emotions. There's been a lot of part-Veela who had visions," Hermione said carefully. "It's possible Fleur had some kind of a vision. Though of what, I can't guess, except that it involved Harry."
"How do we find out? They're not telling us anything." Ginny was hugging herself again.
"The same way we always do," Ron said. "We ask questions when they aren't expecting them. We sneak around, eavesdrop and keep putting together the pieces until we figure it out."
Ginny felt a warm flush as she realized Ron was including her.
Hermione looked at Ginny. "Do you think you can sense him through the bond?"
Ginny shook her head. "No. Not even if I stopped using Occlumency. I don't think it really works like that. I think I'd know if he were in imminent danger, but I don't think I'd know more than that, unless I dreamed about him." She hugged herself and whispered. "I'm afraid to do that again...Harry is so close to Tom that he might sense me. And I don't know I'd be strong enough to keep him out, not if he got me with my defenses down."
"Damn," Ron said.
Hermione looked thoughtful. "This is ephemeral magic, which means we really don't know how it works or even why. But I think we can take it as a good sign Ginny doesn't think he's in imminent danger."
They were desperate for every shred of hope, no matter how slim it was.
Ron stood up. "I don't think there's much more we can do until we find out where he is, and we won't be able to help him if we're dead on our feet." He held out his hands and helped both girls stand.
He hugged his sister and Hermione, but as they all slipped out the door, he said: "I hope you're right about that prophecy, Hermione."
"How could you say such a thing?" She was horrified at Ron, but he just shook his head.
"He's gonna try to kill Harry whether or not your right. If you are right, then we know for sure Harry's got a chance."
Neither Ginny or Hermione could think of anything to say.
- 0 -
Ginny and Hermione settled in Ginny's room, but neither girl could sleep.
They sat on the floor in the darkness.
"Ron hates me, doesn't, he?" Hermione finally said.
"No," Ginny shook her head. "He doesn't hate you. He's hurt, badly, by what you wrote, but I don't think he could ever hate you."
Hermione pulled her knees up to her chest. "How can I fix it?"
Ginny sat cross-legged and was suddenly struck by something Harry had said in one of his letters, about secrets and how they destroyed people. "Tell him the truth, Hermione. It's the only thing you really can do."
"I don't know if I can," she whispered. "I think the truth might be worse than a lie this time."
"Why?" Ginny asked, at the same time wondering why Hermione had written her with the truth of what she was doing in Bulgaria instead of Ron.
"We went to Bulgaria to create contacts and supply lines for the Order," Hermione explained. "Officially, the government there takes no position on Voldemort. Unofficially, they support him. More than half the Bulgarian Ministry are Death Eaters, and many more are sympathetic to his cause. Victor and Karkaroff are the leaders of the resistance there, and neither one of them trusted the Order. I went with Minerva, erm, Professor McGonagall because Victor trusts me. I used his affection for me to get him to meet with Min – Professor McGonagall and to work with the Order."
"They used you," Ginny stated simply.
"Yes," Hermione said. "I'm not upset at them about it. I knew what was happening going into it. Defeating Voldemort is more important than my being upset about being used. Even if our Ministry were willing to really work against him, they couldn't contact the Bulgarian resistance, because it's strictly illegal."
"Why not?" Ginny was honestly confused.
"The Bulgarian Ministry and ours are technically allies. If our Ministry contacted an illegal group inside Bulgaria, it might be enough to push the Bulgarians into openly supporting Voldemort. That's why the Order is necessary, for all their flaws. They can do what the Ministry can't."
"What's going on between you and Victor, then?" Ginny was starting to see some of why Hermione didn't want to tell Ron the truth – Ron had never been reasonable where Victor Krum was concerned.
"Nothing, really. He tried to romance me a bit, but when I was hesitant, he backed off. He was too busy organizing the Bulgarian resistance to woo a British schoolgirl. He knew why I was there, too. He even admitted he wouldn't have trusted anyone but me or Harry."
"Why Harry?"
"Because he's fought Voldemort face to face so many times. Victor figures if there's anyone he can trust to do what's right in the fight against him, it's Harry."
Ginny nodded. Hermione could barely make out the motion in the dark.
"So why tell me the truth and not Ron?"
"I wanted one of us to know what was going on. I couldn't get a letter to Harry and I didn't know how Ron would react, so that left you. And because I couldn't trust Ron not to overreact and do something to endanger our mission, I had to keep him from interfering. So I sent him that letter."
Ginny frowned at Hermione. "You risked your friendship with Ron to protect the Order?"
"Yes," Hermione said, her voice soft. "Ginny, more people are going to die and be hurt by this war than just us. Muggles can't defend themselves against Voldemort or Death Eaters. Most witches and wizards can't, either. They don't have Harry teaching them how to fight. This is bigger than any one of us."
Ginny nodded again. She didn't like it, but Hermione was right. "I still think you should tell him the truth. Give him a chance."
"If he doesn't understand?"
"We cross that bridge if we come to it. Until then, try to give him the benefit of the doubt. From the way he was acting tonight, I don't think he hates you."
"Yeah," Hermione said, remembering how Ron had held her. "I guess not. I'm just afraid." She rubbed her eyes. "Sometimes I think they only want me around because I'm smart..." She sighed. "I hate wondering that...but they're all I have, you know?"
Ginny sighed, and awkwardly rubbed Hermione's back. "Trust me, they want you there. Do you know how often they defend you against people who badmouth you? Or how often the two of them worry about you being holed up in the library? Or that they go up to the library and sit, pretending to study so you won't be alone?"
Hermione blinked in surprise. "Really? And how would you know all that?"
Ginny blushed. "Because I don't have many friends in my year...especially not after I started dating Michael. So I tag along with Ron and Harry...I don't think they notice. At least, I try really hard to keep them from noticing."
"Oh." Hermione looked a little guilty. "I didn't know you were so lonely...I mean, I thought you and Colin were close..."
Ginny shook her head. "Not since the Tournament. He's never forgiven me for not going to the ball with Harry, no matter what it would have done to Neville."
Hermione was genuinely confused. "Why not?"
Ginny pulled away, unable to look at Hermione. "Because he's the one who had to calm me down after Ron asked Harry to take me to the Yule Ball the way he did. And he's the one who had to keep me from killing Parvati for leaving him standing there. He's the one who held me while I cried about Harry Potter yet again. He said he couldn't...wouldn't...watch me do that to myself."
Hermione nodded. "I imagine that would be hard for him...and I imagine he has some romantic idea that you and Harry are meant to be, or would be perfect for each other."
"No," Ginny answered, her voice barely a whisper. "He thinks I'm the only girl besides you that cares about Harry's happiness."
Hermione felt a chill. Ginny was dangerously preoccupied with Harry – new revelations notwithstanding, she was dedicating her life to someone who might never see her as more than a little sister. "Ginny, this isn't healthy. This isn't safe. You need to let go of this obsession with Harry before it destroys you. Figure out where the bond ends and your feelings begin."
"How?" Ginny asked, hiding her face behind her hair. "How do I get over this kind of feeling? I can see him and feel him in my dreams...I dreamed he was hurt, beaten – and now you and Tonks tell me I was right. Tonight I dreamed Voldemort was torturing him in his dreams...how do you get over it when you can see right into him?"
"You dreamed about him? You dreamed he was hurt?" Stunned, Hermione felt dizzy. How could she see him in her dreams? Let alone dream the truth?
She'd known Ginny and Harry were exchanging letters. Everyone in the Order knew that, and McGonagall had told her Snape had overheard Ginny talking about dreams, but for those dreams to be real?
"I dream about him at least once a summer. Sometimes at Hogwarts. It's always just one little detail that ends up true. The scar on his hand. Or the bruises all over him. But the dreams are so real. We talk, sometimes. Other times, we just sit. Or hold each other. I can feel him in the dreams, just like I can feel the carpet here. So how can I get over him when those dreams – dreams with some element of truth to them – keep giving me hope?"
The bond. It has to be the bond. Hermione shook her head. "I don't know, Ginny. I can't even imagine."
Ginny shivered, and hugged herself. "He saved me, Hermione. Then at the Ministry...I saw what it must be like for him all the time. I was so afraid...Neville, Luna – they wouldn't have come without me convincing him. If they got hurt, that would be my fault. And then when you went down, and the brain went after Ron..." She drew her knees up to her chest. "It's harder now because I think I'm beginning to understand him. I can't help but want to make his pain go away."
Hermione looked thoughtful for a long moment. "Then why did you date Michael Corner and Dean Thomas?"
Ginny shrugged. "I told you. I'd given up. It was a hopeless cause. It never meant the feelings went away." She looked up. "Mum's right. Someone has to be there for him – not because of Voldemort, or because he might save us all or because of anything else but him."
Sighing, Hermione raised an eyebrow and took on her best lecturing tone. She had to test Ginny, to see how real this was. "I really don't think that's a good idea, Ginny, for you to try to do that. He's already very selfish as it is sometimes..."
"He has to be." Ginny whispered. "He would have to be to survive...and look at what he's survived so far. And he's selfish, yes. He wants all his pain for himself. He doesn't want to share it and make everyone else hurt. He'd cut us all off and push away if he thought it would save us, and he would blame himself for us being in danger."
Hermione looked at Ginny, re-evaluating the redhead's relationship with Harry. I have to ask her. I have to know, if only for Harry's sake.
"Do you want Harry Potter or the Boy Who Lived?" Hermione asked softly.
The redheaded girl shrugged. "Harry is one and the same. He just doesn't know it."
Hermione blinked. Ginny's insight had more merit than she wanted to admit.
"Do you think you love him?"
Ginny sighed, and climbed into bed. "The emotion's not like that. Not like what you think. This isn't some crush, or some attraction, or some great romance I think I have to have." She looked down at the older girl. "This is about me knowing that he would do anything to save any one of us from what he is willingly putting himself through. I just wish I knew why he was doing this to himself. He's smart enough to figure out how to escape if he wanted to."
Hermione rested her chin on her fist. "Yes, he is and he could. Only, for some reason, he's not. The catch is that Harry can be punished for causing adult wizards to interfere in his domestic situation, but he can't get in trouble for voluntarily leaving his domestic situation."
Ginny rolled over again, unable to get comfortable. "And Dumbledore's got him convinced he can't leave. So he won't. And of course, Dumbledore won't tell us what he's told Harry to convince him to stay."
Hermione made an indignant 'hmph' noise. "I know, I know...it's just there's something more between them now. I saw it after the Ministry, when we left Hogwarts for the summer. They've always been closer than they've let on, but this goes beyond that, and Ihate being left out of the loop! How am I supposed to help him if he doesn't let me?!"
Ginny shrugged. "Easy. Don't let him alone, or let him hide. Make him deal with the fact that we're here and aren't going anywhere."
Hermione mumbled back: "Good luck. That's not the best way to deal with Harry."
Ginny scoffed. "You mean pestering him and asking questions until his head is ready to explode? I meant just go and sit with him while he broods. Give him a hug, offer him a shoulder to lean on, for just a few minutes, at least!"
Slightly offended, Hermione rolled away from Ginny. "I do not pester. And he shouldn't brood!"
"Why not?" Ginny asked. "How else is he supposed to figure anything out for himself if he doesn't sit there and think about it? And what's so hard about just sitting there and rubbing his back or giving him a shoulder to lean on while he thinks?"
Hermione ticked reasons off on her fingers. "First off, Harry refuses almost all physical contact that's not forced on him. Even his kiss with Cho was her initiative and his response. Second, when he goes to brood, he doesn't want to be found. If there's anyone who can hide in plain sight, it's Harry. And third, there's nothing wrong with it...except that it does him no good!"
Ginny rolled her eyes and sat up. "Oh? So what does help? Forcing him to go read and research and analyze until he's sick to his stomach? Is it too much to ask that he be allowed to just sit and think about some of what he's been through?"
"If that's all Harry was doing, it would be fine. If he's just wallowing and blaming himself, like last Christmas, it's not. Harry's never been taught how to deal with his emotions, and he usually ends up handling things like Cedric and Sirius poorly."
"Then what do you suggest?" Ginny asked.
"Harry copes best when he has something to concentrate on. The DA, for example, or training for Quidditch or the Tournament. If I'm right and he's really going to be the one to kill Voldemort, then he needs to train. He's a powerful wizard, Ginny, but he's not a skilled wizard. This next year, I plan to help him train. Focus him on beating Voldemort and keeping him from killing too many more."
Ginny had to admit she was impressed. It was a good idea, and one Harry would be receptive to. "What did you have in mind?"
"The DA," Hermione said. "I'm going to try to get him to continue it, because we could all use the extra training and practice, because we'll be fighting too. Someone has to guard his back. It'll be a good way to get Harry to study and practice the skills he needs. I'll tell him what I'm doing, of course, but it's obvious at this point Dumbledore can't or won't train him for whatever reason. That leaves us."
"How? How can we train Harry enough to defeat Tom? He's powerful, Hermione. Even at sixteen, he had such power and knowledge. Dumbledore is the only who's ever been able to stand against him."
"Exactly," Hermione said. "I plan to study Dumbledore's life and see if I can't re-create some of what he studied and went through to defeat Gindelwald. And Harry has something 'Tom' never did."
"Us," Ginny said. "Harry's not alone."
Hermione smiled. "If I'm right about the prophecy, Harry can do this. He can learn what he needs to know and become powerful and knowledgeable enough to win. We just have to convince him of it."
- 0 -
As Ron, Ginny and Hermione went upstairs, no doubt to plot how to rescue Harry despite him being missing and in spite of Severus Snape, Tonks slipped quietly outside, wishing she could be a part of that rescue. It was the least she owed Harry Potter.
Bill followed her outside, closing the door quietly behind him.
The night air was cooler than it'd been all summer and the sky was clear; the stars hung in the sky, glittering like a hundred thousand tears suspended in the air.
Tonks was standing on the edge of the porch, her hair slowly shifting through dark colors. She was staring at the ground, and Bill could see the tear-tracks on her pale cheeks.
He slowly walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She smiled a bit, but didn't look up. Neither one of them said anything for a bit, but Bill took a step closer, until his chest was nearly touching her back.
"I failed," she whispered. "I always knew I would, but why now? Why this?"
"How did you fail, Nymph?"
It was a token of how upset she was that she didn't scold him for using a variation of her hated first name.
"How didn't I fail? I stood there and watched his Uncle beat him, and that was just what happened in the backyard. I stood there and watched him fight his cousin. I saw him getting paler and thinner and more worn down every day and I did nothing, because 'it was the right thing to do'. Because that was my job." She didn't bother trying to hide the bitterness in her voice. "My job is supposed to be protecting people, not letting them get hurt." Her voice was thick with suppressed sobs, but she kept talking. "Hermione was right. We're being so stupid. I'm a trained Auror. I'm not the best, but I'm pretty good. I should have been able to take her, but I couldn't because I assumed she was just a kid. I assumed she wouldn't use magic. Who would expect Hermione to break the rules?"
Bill put his other hand on her other shoulder. "No one, least of all us. She got into the Order partially because we thought she'd follow the rules."
Tonks nodded and leaned back into him, taking comfort from his warm and solid presence. Bill started massaging her lightly, his thumbs running up and down the back of her neck.
"Is that what we've been doing all along? Just assuming they're kids and can't do anything, even though they've proven the can? I saw the mess they made of the Department of Mysteries. They led some of Voldemort's best on a merry chase and took down more than a few on their own."
Bill shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. But part of the Order's job is to protect the people in the most danger, and that's Harry and his friends." He left it unspoken that several of those friends were his younger siblings. "I don't think we're handling things right, though. I don't really know what to do different, but I know something has to change."
Tonks nodded, bowing her head to give his hands better access. "I still failed. I even failed the Order by telling what I knew."
"It shouldn't have been kept secret in the first place," Bill said softly. "Hermione figured out a way to get Harry out of there. I'd like to think the Order is at least as smart as a bright schoolgirl and could have figured out the same thing."
Tonks turned around and put her hands flat on his chest. "Could we?"
"I'd really hope so," Bill said, sounding both amused and serious. He let his arms go around her, and she leaned into him, letting herself be held. Bill felt her tears soak into his shirt. "You didn't fail, Nymph. The Order – the rest of us – we failed you, by making you deal with it alone. We failed you by making you do what we did." He tightened his arms around her. "I'm sorry."
He just stood there and held her while she cried silently into his chest.
End Chapter
Revised 01-16-08
