Doumeki doesn't like Watanuki.

To say that he liked Watanuki would be wrong. Liking someone meant that you respected them, meant that you allowed them to be with you because you found them acceptable, liking meant a deeper shade of tolerance.

Watanuki would never accept tolerance. Doumeki would never accept tolerance. Tolerance was simply beyond shallow. Tolerance was just a lighter shade of dislike, of apathy, which was worse than hate. Tolerance was denying that you hated, trying to put a different name to it, just to make it feel alright. Tolerance was not what Doumeki did. Doumeki did not tolerate Watanuki's rants, did not tolerate Watanuki being hurt, did not tolerate the other teen's denial. He listened, he loathed, he disliked, he felt. For Watanuki, his feelings are not so tepid, not so petty, or shallow, as tolerance. Doumeki is often called cold, stone faced, emotionless but where Watanuki was concerned, he was anything but. Doumeki does not like Watanuki.

There are things that only Watanuki can do. Only Watanuki can make food good enough that Doumeki will eat everything on the plate with enthusiasm. He's used to eating everything on his plate, it's not like he's the type to waste food if he doesn't like it, but usually he doesn't like food. He simply eats out of necessity. Doumeki is pretty sure that Watanuki's cooking affects others the same. Any way he looked at it, it wasn't possible that Yuuko had always been eating as much in the proportions she did with Watanuki. Even that wasn't possible.

Only Watanuki.

Only Watanuki can make Doumeki worried. In general, he is the type of person who lets things come as they will. Fate is fate and that is all there is to it. Sure, it is simple stupidity to let life pass by unchecked, but for the most part Doumeki just did what he was supposed to do and let everything else work out by itself. But Watanuki makes him want to challenge fate. The feeling is a little thrilling, and a little scary – but then, Doumeki is no coward.

But it doesn't mean he isn't scared still.

Watanuki came into his life like a hurricane, kicking and screaming (quite literally.) And while Doumeki did accept occurrences quite easily, it's not like the boy's sudden appearance in his life was easy. He still had a feeling of vertigo every time Watanuki did something stupid (which he did do, and still did, on a regular basis.) And he still feels like any misstep could cause Watanuki to hate him. Not that Doumeki would leave Watanuki to his own devices if Watanuki hated him.

If someone were to ask Doumeki to describe Watanuki, he would have no idea what to say. Well, he would, but anything he did say would feel inadequate in his mind. He knows how Watanuki thinks he would respond; "A spaz." And Watanuki is probably right. But he doesn't know Doumeki's mind, and in Doumeki's mind he would be answering the question ten thousand times over. A spaz, a wonderful cook, a loyal friend, entertaining, helpful, polite... a wonderful mix of contradictions. Well, in truth, Doumeki would probably say nothing to the inquirer; if they didn't know already, they did not deserve to know.

--

Watanuki doesn't like Doumeki.

Watanuki hates the way that Doumeki looms over his shoulder when he's cooking, setting him off on long winded rants that will sometimes last long enough for the water to boil and he'll have to rush to cut the vegetables and then they'll be cut unevenly and cook just as unevenly or he'll have to add more water to the pot and then he'll have to wait another minute while the added water boils too.

Watanuki hates the way that Doumeki always walks on the side with the most pedestrians or, if they're closer to the busy part of the city, nearest to the street. He hates how even when there are no spirits around, Doumeki seems to be protecting him. He hates it because there is nothing he can do; Doumeki does it regardless.

There are things that only Doumeki can do. Only Doumeki can get Watanuki so angry that he forgets the presence of other people; composure is the only reason his neighbors and classmates never looked at him in askance when there was a spirit bothering him, he was usually so calm and prim of course he'd have to have an outlet like running, right?

Only Doumeki.

Only Doumeki can make him feel completely safe. The people around him; Yuuko, Mugetsu, Himawari, Haruka, Syaoran and his friends, Marudashi and Morodashi (he was still trying to convince Yuuko to stop calling them that), everyone of the spirit world, they were important too. But somehow, when Doumeki isn't there, he finds it difficult to concentrate on anything and there was a constant feeling of loss, right behind him and at his side. At home he finds himself calling into the emptiness, expecting to hear a rumbling voice, maybe to request more food or maybe to say something sarcastic. He hates it because he doesn't hate it at all.

Because maybe he doesn't dislike liking Doumeki after all.

It's like the stoic boy simply dropped out of the sky, all perfection and calmness, intensity and drive. Oh sure, Watanuki talks with Haruka and he supposes that he is close to Doumeki, but everything seems to revolve around Watanuki – bad things that happen, or their next job. Any time Watauki starts to learn about Doumeki, they're interrupted, assaulted, or in danger, or or or... or something, like he and Doumeki were a couple and the entirety of Cosmos was a third wheel.

If someone were to ask Watanuki to describe Doumeki, he'd be hard pressed to do so. Of course he'd immediately respond with "he's a big oaf, a glutton, irresponsible, irrational, irritating and a stalker"; even if it isn't true (except maybe the part about being a stalker,) it's his immediate, involuntary, conditioned response. He isn't ungrateful, but he still has yet to break the habit of pretending to be annoyed with Doumeki. In reality, he knows that Doumeki is caring, kind, gentle, understanding, and dedicated – or stubborn as it were. Of course it would never occur to Watanuki that Doumeki feels the same way.