Chapter 2

As little Bethie Turner grew into being a mature for her age 10 year old, the dreams had stopped haunting her and a quiet certainty entered her mind. She didn't quite know how or even why, but she felt safe. Always.

She had a guardian. Finally, after years of pooh-poohing it, her mother just simply smiled and that was all the confirmation Beth would ever have. It was like a shadow, but somehow a warmth of feeling would overtake her sometimes and of course, no shadow – even Peter Pan's – ever had an enveloping feel to it as this one did.

Could he be an angel? She watched movies and tv as she grew up. There was a lot about guardian angels. Yes, that's what he must be, although were angels of one particular sex? For this one was most certainly male. Sometimes, as she turned 14, her dreams returned, only now they had become sex-tinged – almost – giggling and saying it silently to herself – erotic. Yes, she had discovered she was in love with a faceless, nameless angel. He didn't look like David Boreanz nor even Nicolas Cage. But he was dreamy and like it was 1982, she felt the utter comfort of someone holding her in his arms and telling her she was safe. And then she would kiss him and would shatter into little pieces from just that.

She tried to find him – to talk to her guardian angel – but no one ever answered. Yet she distinctly remembered hearing his voice, comforting her after taking her away from "the scary woman". Then she tried finding boys but the voice and the kissing left so much to be desired. Finally, at private finishing school in England, she met a horseman! He was an older man. Almost 20! But he was dark haired and tall, a Scots, and he could kiss. She knew he would only be her first, most certainly not the last. But still he seemed to meet the general requirements of what she thought HE would look like.

There were other men in college and then she met Josh. He was a good man, funny, smart, great kisser and they had clicked. And Beth stopped trying to find her angel and just simply accepted that he would never, ever show himself again. And she was content.