T W E N T Y - S I X
*Shane's P.O.V*
The final chords of The Heart Never Lies began fading from my radio. I wasn't sure how many times I had listening to the song in the past 2 days, maybe 60, but I wasn't counting.
In the darkness of my bedroom with the lights off, curtains closed to the block the sunlight, I could see her face and nothing else. I missed her so much it actually hurt to think about it. Honestly, what had I been thinking? Did I really think Mitchie would just give me what I wanted and we would move on? I didn't expect to…fall in love with her.
It was crazy. I'd never been in love in my life. Mandy…was just puppy love and lust but these feeling for Mitchie, they burned me. I couldn't think about her without smiling, my stomach dunking with butterflies dancing around, and now my lips would tingle. I swear every time I hear her name my heart forgets to beat.
When I first saw her, it hurt like hell. I was just going to see why my mom was hysterical when she answered the door and there in my hallway was this beautiful stranger. But I knew who it was. I would know her anywhere even if it's been years. I just freaked because I thought I'd never see her again. But then the pain came crashing down like a ton of bricks on fire. That's why I yelled and treated her so bad. I was so frustrated I just couldn't think.
Then there was how she looked. Her eyes hadn't change at all. The same big, pools of dark brown with light twists of hazel in the sun. She hadn't grown much, which I thought was pretty funny. But…she was gorgeous. Her dark curls, porcelain, silky white skin, and that smile…the same infamous, thousand-watt Mitchie Torres smile.
Seeing her let alone how she looked, left me speechless. It wasn't the same 11 year old girl I last held before she walked onto a plane. But once I started talking to her again, nothing had changed. It amused me how she was the same with her stubborn ways, silly jokes, and kind nature. The same Mitchie, who, like I said, was just hotter.
I remember the first time I touched her, sitting on that bench. I went with something I was good at, seducing girls. I wasn't proud of it; in fact, it felt wrong to be doing it to Mitchie. I remember how frustrated I was in class when she didn't respond like everyone else, even like Alex had.
"I'm not 'all the other chicks' Shane. I'm Mitchie"
No she was nothing like any other girl. She understood me, got my jokes and played along like Taylor wouldn't. Mitchie was the only one that could calm down my temper, besides Jason. She could break down the walls I would put around myself. Those were some of the reasons why I loved her, but the list never ended.
Strangely everything she did stuck in my thoughts, mostly stupid stuff. Like the way she bit her lip when she was thinking or felt uncomfortable, nothing could be more adorable. And then her loud laugh that make my heart race uncontrollably. I loved how no matter what, she was so strong and had faith. But I think I loved her mostly because Mitchie made me want to be a better person. She was my guardian angel. When she was around, I didn't want to drink or even sleep with girls just for the pleasure. I wanted to be good, make her smile and proud of me.
Honestly, the fact Michelle was beautiful was just a bonus. I didn't focus on that, which was something I use to do, as a shallow jerk. But now I was slipping. I felt myself moving away from the person she made me. Without Mitchie here…I didn't know what to do and the pain became unbearable.
I've never felt so stupid and alone. When we became friends, after I told her everything, the bet never crossed my mind. It was forgotten because she meant so much more to me. I still couldn't believe I told her, how I just ruined the one thing that was special to me. Mitchie didn't deserve this…this heartache. She was too special, too beautiful, and too fragile. All she ever did was tried to help me and what did I do? Break her heart!
I don't what I was thinking—actually I wasn't thinking after she didn't want to kiss me. All I know is, it really, really hurt and I was so confused. I thought…I thought we were falling together but I guess it was just me…No. No, the way she kissed me back and looked at me with such pain, she loved me too.
Mitchie loved me…and I destroyed it.
With anger pumping through my veins, I threw off my blankets and went to get my guitar. When we were younger, Mitch and I took lessons together during the summer, but she also took piano and a little bit of drums. I thought it was amazing, the connection she had with music. Not to mention the voice she had.
I flung myself back onto the bed with my red songbook beside me and began playing not even bother to write anything down. It worked for her, it worked before. I needed to let out this pain somewhere.
Should've kissed you there
I should've held your face
I should've watched those eyes
Instead of run in place
I should've called you out
I should've said your name
I should've turned around
I should've looked again
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away
Should've held my ground
I could've been redeemed
For every second chance
That changed its mind on me
I should've spoken up
I should've proudly claimed
That oh my head's to blame
For my hearts mistakes
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away
And it's you
And it's you
And it's you
And it's you
And it's falling down
As you walk away
And it's on me now
As you go
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away
And it's falling down
As you walk away
And it's on me now
As you go
But oh, I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
I'm staring at the mess I made
As you turn, you take your heart and walk away
Sighing I set my guitar back onto the wooden floors. My bedroom door clicked open and warily Nate stepped inside. I was actually really happy he wasn't afraid to come in my room anymore, but he still looked unsure of how to act around me. I hated it because Nate and I use to me so close and now I sometimes feel like we're strangers. I only know he even likes Miley because of Mitchie.
I watched him slowly walked over and crouch beside my bed, dark eyes clogging with concern. "Hey...I heard your song. How are you feeling?" He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, instead of meeting my eyes, staring at my closed black curtains.
How am I feeling? Like someone tore out my heart and ran it over with a garbage truck before sticking it back it my chest, on fire. "I…I've been better." I shrugged but wondered if I should be honest. It was so long ago Nate and I had a one on one conversation. I missed my little brother.
Nate finally looked up with his sincere, sorrowful eyes. "I'm sorry, Shane that all of this crap happened. First Mandy did that and now Mitchie—"
"Whoa!" I cut him off. "Mitchie didn't do anything Nate!" How could he blame this on her?! I screwed up. Mitchie was just the victim. If that's what Nate thinks, we might be worse than I thought.
Nate frowned. "It's not all her fault, but Shane did you break your own heart?"
My lips pursed inhaling his words a little stubbornly. "I…no but…"
"Mitchie did hurt you. Yes, you hurt her too, probably worse, but she did hurt you."
I rolled my eyes. "Yes Nate, she did break my stupid heart. Whatever." I hated admitting it because somehow it made the reality of what happened sink in, piercing me. I tried really hard to not think about it, but it was difficult when I couldn't stop thinking about Mitchie. Did I mention I missed her like hell?
I sighed again deciding to remove myself from the spotlight. "So, what's going on will you and Miley?" I watched very amused as my little brother blushed and squirmed. But it wasn't enough to laugh. The pain was too suffocating to laugh.
"Um…I messed things up with her, Shane." Nate suddenly looked crushed. "How can I make things…better?" He pleaded so desperately my heart broke for my little brother. Crap, how did I not even know what he did? Wow I'm really that selfish moaning about Mitchie with my songs when Nate was miserable too. But it was worse that I didn't even know about it!
"Well can you tell me what happened?"
Nate shifted his eyes to the window again as he explained in a horribly pain soaked tone. "I love her, Shane. But Miley doesn't need to be with someone like me, yet…she wants to. I tried lying to her just to get her to get over me so I wouldn't break her heart, but it backfired. I'm still shocked she actually forgave me, but she's not ready for us to become anything but friends. What can I do to show her how much I do care?"
"Nate, Miley is an awesome girl, who's also very forgiving. But maybe right now all you guys can handle is friendship. She needs to trust you before anything can happen because how can you have a relationship if you don't trust that person with your heart? You two may love each other, but maybe it's just not the time. If friendship is what she wants, take it."
I stopped, all the things that just emptied from my crumpled heart flowing back to my head. There was the truth and I needed to swallow it. Mitchie and I just weren't ready for anything stronger than our friendship right now. Yes, I loved her more than anything, with all the broken pieces of my heart, but I didn't want her to not have faith in me. We would always fight and be miserable if we pushed things faster than they were ready to go.
Suddenly the pain didn't seem to be choking me anymore. I wanted Mitchie to trust me, which was more important than anything. If we love each other today won't we in a few months or even years? It would be hard, but I could do it for her.
Nate nodded. "Yeah I understand, but I don't want to lose her."
Crap. What if I lost Mitchie? Would she find someone better? Someone without a horrible temper, someone nicer and that could make her happier? NO! I couldn't let that happen! I loved her, dammit!
Nate suddenly smirked. "Ok there have been rumors flying around the school like insanely, so I need the truth. What happened with you and Mitchie during last period 2 days ago?"
Automatically I smiled just thinking about it, butterflies firing up my stomach. "I kissed her."
He laughed shaking his head like he expected nothing less. "I knew something was going on between you two, but did she kiss you back?"
My smile expanded. "Yeah, we made out like God…Nate it was so freaking hot, but she kinda got pissed after and told me she wasn't ready, like Miley. That 'we can't build a relationship on a lie'."
Ugh, there I go again, being pulled under by her words. Another sigh blew from my lips. "Hey Nate, thanks for listening but can you leave me alone for a little while? I think I'm gonna go out anyway."
Nate nodded standing back up."Sure, feel better, bro."
I grinned as he walked out and shut the door. It was great that we were finally talking again, but it sucked that it had to include pain. I decided I had a long overdue visit to the hospital.
*No One's P.O.V*
Miley listened to her flip flops smack against the concrete as she strode to the white, 2 story house just a few more feet away. She took a sharp inhale, collecting her thoughts for what was about to be done. Her manicured finger pressed the doorbell shakily, rocking back and forth on her heels until the door opened and the two 16-year-olds smiled sadly in synchronization. "Hi."
"Oh Miley!" Alex cried devouring her best friend in a smothering hug. Both of the girls had tears pooling down their faces, but they laughed too together. "This whole thing was so stupid, I'm sorry!"
Miley snorted leaning back but clutched onto her hands. "You don't have to apologize, Lex! I'm so sorry for just ditching you because I was jealous of you and Nate." She sniffled.
"You don't have to be jealous of us at all. Miles, he's like insanely in love with you!" Alex laughed. The air felt so much lighter, things shifting back to a happier time when everyone was friends before the high school drama.
Miley swiped her tears. "I know," She smiled. "I love him too."
The girls talked for a few more minutes, Miley slowly breaking down everything that happened between her and Nate before going into Smitchie up to when Mitchie called the previous night sobbing. It was all such a twisted mess…
But messes can be cleaned up.
"Oh my gosh," Alex gasped. "That's crazy but I agree with her. Miles, we have to check on Mitchie like right now!"
Miley laughed and nodded both girls rushing to Alex's car even when both of them barely looked presentable and sped to their best friend's house when she needed them.
*Shane's P.O.V*
As soon as the ding of the elevator beeped, I gulped a deep breath. I wasn't nervous, but I felt the need to relax myself. The door opened and I swiftly strode through the hallways until I reached room 602 and slowly creaked opened the door.
Jason was lying there but with a card in his hand, reading it and smiling like it was a gift from an angel. Seeing all he's been through with this disease and he can still smile, made my problems seem like nothing.
Hesitantly I stepped inside, closing the door and walked over to the leather chair beside him and took a seat. Jason looked up, not at all surprised to see me sitting her, but he did study my eyes for a few seconds, still smiling. "Hello Shane."
I twisted my silver purity ring around my finger. I wasn't even sure why I still wore it. "Hi Jason, how are you?" I asked awkwardly but peeked at the card in his hand. All I could see was that it was white with pink sparkles and bright colored flowers decorated on it.
Jason chuckled, knowing his health wasn't the reason why I was here, but I still cared. "I'm great, thank you. What about you, Shane? You don't exactly look like Mr. Ball of Sunshine."
I half-smiled at his words. "That's actually why I came here, Jason. I…it's Mitchie."
He nodded making it seem like he knew every detail already before I spoke a word. "I figured. She visited me not too long ago. We had a nice, long talk about you."
My cheeks warmed over with a heavy blush. God, I haven't blushed since I was like 13 and now Mitchie has me doing it all the time! But oh great, Mitchie visits my brother and they talk about me! It's so nice of them to notify me about that.
"Don't worry," Jason smirked gently. "Nothing bad, she just needed a friend to listen, which I'm guessing is what you need, your brother to listen. I'm here Shane, and I always will be. Now your eyes look like someone ripped you apart, what happened?"
Ah the golden question: What happened? I sighed for the billionth time and readjusted myself in the chair, knowing this would take a while. "Well the short version is, I love Mitchie but I broke her heart and we can't be together."
Jason shook his head smiling. "Shane I'm gonna need more information than that. As I'm sure you can imagine, I don't have anything to do in this hospital room besides when Mom visits, so why are you giving me the short version?"
"Ok, it started off with a bet from my 'friends'. We made a bet that I had to get Mitchie to…sleep with me or I would have to sleep with this guy, Chad. It was all so stupid and I really wish I didn't go along with it but I did. That's when Mitchie and I started flirting and be friends, no feelings. But…then she asked me about Mandy and I told her, trusting her and…she never let me down. After the truth why I 'hated' her was out, we became best friends again and without knowing it, I started falling for her."
Dammit, I was blushing again and smiling like a moron. But I continued. "So then we were hanging out at the beach and I don't know what I was thinking. You know how I do things without thinking, I tried to kiss her and she freaked, but I don't blame her. It was all really fast and if I was Mitchie, I would be kinda scared too. After that my stupid temper exploded and I told her accidentally that our friendship started by a bet and…told her I never really cared about her."
I had to stop there, rummaging my fingers through my hair. I still couldn't believe how fucking brainless I was that night. Jason didn't say anything yet, probably knowing the "story" wasn't over so I kept going.
"Well after that we just fell apart. I felt so…like lost without her. Anyway, I ended up kissing her and we made out after that but she was still angry and hurt, which I still can't blame her for. But she said we couldn't be together because 'relationships can't be built on a lie' and now here I am feeling stupid and heartbroken."
I shook my head in complete disgust. "Mitchie didn't deserve this. Neither did Nate or Alex or Miley. I screwed everything up Jason. They could have all been happy if it wasn't for me and…I destroyed everything."
Finally I looked up, Jason's greenish hazel eyes never leaving my face. His face was so calm, so sure everything was going to be ok. Again, he smiled, but right now his eyes seemed so full of wisdom and I was listening.
"You see this card, Shane?" He held up the white, sparkly card to show me and I nodded, not understanding. "Mitchie gave me this card. She gave it out of her sweet, loving heart along with money to pay for some medication I needed. But Shane, she didn't ask for anything in return."
Frazzled, I just gawked at my brother only getting from this that I was a completely asshole and Mitchie was an amazing angel that deserved a thousand times better than me. Thanks Jason.
"Shane, Mitchie changed you, right? She made you into a better person, even better than who you use to be before she left. But she didn't have to. She did it without asking for anything in return and she never left your side through anything that happened. What makes you think she's gone? Here you are thinking that you've destroyed, but everything's not lost, Shane."
His words began to fill my thoughts, making perfect sense. Jason smiled and continued. "Messes are a part of life Shane, but they can be cleaned up and things can return back to normal. Mitchie loved you when you were a jerk, you yelled at her, ignored her, blamed your pain on her, but she was still there. Shane, you're my brother and Mitchie has always been like a sister to me. I want you two to be happy and you can't be happy without each other. Don't just sit there and let life keep you down. You really love Mitchie, prove that to her."
His words left me speechless. Jason was right. He was so right! I smiled, fully though I thought I never would again and jumped out of my chair to hug my brother. He laughed and squeezed me back. "Wow Jason…thank-you. You're right." My face felt sculpted into a permanent smile as I hugged him one more time, promising to visit again and walked out of the door with a new hope glowing through my body.
Everything's Not Lost.
Trust me, the drama is not over. I know you guys want to kill me, wanting everyone happy and Smitchie together already and I promise we will get there. I have everything planned out and we have about 3-4 chapters left. =( I really don't want this story to end, but it will give me the opportunity to work on new stories so I'm excited about that.
Thank you, for your awesome reviews as usual. I probably wouldn't have gotten this story so far if it wasn't for your reviews and support. =) So thank you.
Questions/Suggestions:
What should I do with Jason's character? (I feel like I've neglected him)
Should Justin and Alex get together or work on friendship?
How should Nate make it up to Miley? Should he leave her alone?
Did you like Shane's mind?
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P.S. Song is called Mess I Made by Parachute
