AN: To answer your question: yes, Goodenough is a last name. And yes, it is spelled exactly that way. And yes, I had a teacher named Mr. Goodenough, and he was cute.
Chapter 5: The Flirty Teachers
When you came in the air went out.
And every shadow filled up with doubt.
I don't know who you think you are,
But before the night is through,
I wanna do bad things with you.
- Bad Things by Jace Everett
"I feel like we are always at the doctor's office. What could he possibly tell us this week that he couldn't last week?" I grumble in the waiting room. Kim flicked through a magazine.
"The sex of the baby."
"Oh yeah," I said turning to her, excitement flushing my body. I was gonna know if I was having a boy or girl today. That's awesome. I'm also kinda nervous. I don't know what I want. I have a feeling that having a boy would be easier than a girl. I'd have to worry about boys trying to date my daughter and just the thought of that irritated me. A boy could be simple. I knew what they liked, plus, I wouldn't have to worry about their dates. "What do you want?"
Kim put down her magazine abruptly. "Vanilla chocolate cheesecake."
"I'm being serious."
"Me too, it just came to me. That's what I want."
"I meant: a boy or girl."
"Yes. Right, I knew that," she hesitates, grabbing my hand. She opens her mouth to continue when a nurse pops her head out of the door that lead to the room.
"Kim, come on in," she says. Kim jumps up, dropping my hand. She quickly walks through the door and I follow suit, feeling a bit put-off by her unwillingness to talk to me about it. Once we're in the room she quickly undresses into the hospital gown and I take a seat on the swivel chair, waiting for the doctor to enter. There's a soft knock on the door, Kim settles into the chair. She tells the doctor that she's ready. Dr. Madden enters. Unfortunately, he hasn't lost half his face in a regrettable smelting accident – he's still good-looking. I heard Kim telling Rachel that he was incredibly 'gorgeous' (her word, not mine), so I was on my guard when he was around my wife. I had to be. I've watched TV; girls always fell for the beautiful doctors.
"So, today's the day I'm telling you two the sex of the baby right?" he said, getting all the ultra-sound stuff ready. Kim half-lay there with her stomach exposed. I took her hand like I always did. It was the only way I felt involved at these appointments.
Dr. Madden squirted jelly onto her belly and got that controller, glidy thing rolling over her large stomach. Damn, it was big. I'd never admit it to Kim, but she was huge. Not that she was unattractive, I still found her incredibly sexy. Oddly, more so in some ways.
The beat of our baby's heart thudded loudly so we could hear. It was such an odd heart beat; it was strong and was constantly a thud-thud-thud. The doctor frowned as he moved the controller around her stomach some more. Why was he frowning?
The picture of our baby on the screen was odd. I never quite understood all of it, and I always had to have the baby's body parts pointed out to me.
"Huh," uttered the doctor.
"'Huh?' Huh, what?" I said, worry creeping up on me. I hated when I got like this. I was such a girl. Kim looked calm. But she was frowning too, staring at the screen.
"What the fuck is that?" she asked. What could they see that I couldn't?
"It seems that both heart beats are at the exact same time, which was why I couldn't see it before..."
"What?" Kim balked. "By two, you mean mine and the baby's right?" she clarified.
"What do you mean?" I ask, looking from her and the doctor.
"Jared, that is one baby," he pointed to the screen, I could see the head of the baby and then he moved the controller to the different part of her stomach. "And that is your other one."
...
...
"Wait...what?" I asked. Kim's hand went limp in my own. She breathed in deeply.
"You're having twins. Would you like to know the sex?" Dr. Madden looked at us, his expression cautious as we both stared at him blankly. Kim was shaking.
"Twins?"
"Yes."
"Twins."
"Two."
"Two babies?"
"Mm-hmm," I answer her questions. But I don't find how they can be helpful. Twins. Twins.
"Are you sure?" Kim's voice cracked. Oh please, don't cry.
"I'm very sure, Kim. How about I give you two a minute?" The doctor stood up slowly, pulling off his rubber gloves and exiting the room.
"Oh, Jared," Kim sighed. She put her palm to her forehead and rubbed it. "Oh, Jared, Jared, Jared." I didn't know what to say to her, except this:
"Oh, Kim, Kim, Kim."
"Ugh!" she hid her face completely. "We can't afford two. We didn't even want one."
"It's not ideal," I agree, dumbly. We don't say anything for a while until eventually the doctor re-enters and asks if we're okay. Kim nods and he sits back down.
"Would you like to know the sex?"
"For both or just one?" she mutters bitterly.
"Whatever you'd like," Dr. Madden looked a bit guilty, but it wasn't his fault. It was mine. Mine and my stupid dick. Cheap bastard.
"Fine, just tell us," Kim groans, throwing her head back and staring up at the ceiling.
The doctor's lips thinned and he looked into our file. "You'll be having two boys."
"Wonderful. Can we go now?" she asks, he nods. She jumps off the chair, grabs her clothes, speedily gets dressed and leaves the room with me trailing behind her, dumbfounded. Before I could exit, the doctor stopped me.
"I hope you'll be able to calm her down, Jared. Her stress level is above average. Just help her see the positive side. You need to help her through this," he places a hand on my shoulder. I feel as if he's being condescending. I just nod anyway, leaving the room, feeling very confused.
My head could not wrap around the idea of having another baby adding to the equation in five months time. I'd just gotten sort of used to one baby. Now two. I returned to the waiting room where Kim was standing impatiently tapping her foot, her bag gripped tightly in her fist. I joined by her side and she took off as soon as I caught up to her.
"Kim, it'll be okay," I say, striding by her side. I find it kind of adorable that she's trying to out-walk me. My legs go up to her elbow, there's no way she could ever be faster than me.
"Will it, Jared? Because right now I can't see how it will be!" She reaches the car and throws open the drivers-side door. Okay, I guess she'll be driving. I round the car, jump into the passenger seat, then look over at her. She hesitates before starting the car.
"There's an upside. There has to be," I mumble to myself. Our house is fairly small. We had one decent sized room for the new baby and the other room we have is so damn tiny, that it would barely be able to fit a bed in there. Two cribs! Two highchairs! Two of everything!
I groaned, slamming my head on the dashboard. Suddenly, my head was pounding, the feeling that it was about to be split in two.
--
I looked around the studio, watching all these expectant fathers with their pregnant wives. There were tall men, short men, skinny men, large men, odd looking men, average-Joe men and then there was me. Tall, dark, muscled and glaring because this was the last thing I wanted to do. I felt embarrassed being here; I know I shouldn't, I should be proud of my accomplishment with my wife, but the idea of sitting here and practicing my breathing patterns with a group full of men and judgemental, pregnant women, turned me off of the idea of pregnancy class.
Kim was beside me, pulling off her jacket and placing it on the bench which was pressed up against a wall of floor-to-ceiling mirrors. Her back was facing me, though I could see her expression through the reflection. She saw me staring and winked, turning around to face me. This would be fine; I'd just hang on to Kim the entire time.
I didn't want to be left alone.
A woman, who I could only assume was the teacher, walked into the center of the room, clapping her hands, calling our attention to her.
"Alright, let's have everyone grab a mat and form a circle in the center of the room." The woman moved over to her lonely mat on the floor and waited for the couples to continue the circle.
I saw a pile of mats in a corner of the room. Sighing, I headed over where the men were all tottering toward them for their wives. As I pulled off a mat, I saw that these men were just as lost with this situation as I was. Well, most of them were.
I brought the mat where Kim was standing awkwardly in the forming circle. I saw a few women sitting on their mats already and their husbands sitting behind them with their legs open, so that they could sit between them. Once I lay the mat down, Kim sat and I sat. I didn't do the same thing the other men were doing, because I wasn't sure I was supposed to do that, so I just decided to sit my own way.
Kim turned her neck around and winked at me again, in an attempt to calm me. It didn't help.
"Alright! Hello everyone, my name is Angelica and I'll be your guide into learning more about your baby and pregnancy. We meet here every week and each week we'll explore a new subject or topic that reaches your concerns. But, first, I'd like us to go around the circle and introduce ourselves and your baby's due date. "
Oh fucking, great. Not only do I have to participate in this crack class but I have to talk as well? This is shit. Kim scoots back a bit so she's closer to me.
"I don't wanna do this," she mutters so only I can hear.
I sigh, because even though I want to say 'let's hit the road then, baby,' what I really need to say is this: "It's alright, I can do the talking, hon." And I do. She smiles gratefully at me, and then turns her attention to the circle.
As each person speaks around the circle, it gets closer to us. Luckily, there's one woman who can't seem to shut up as she tells us her fears and dreams for her baby as if this was some sort of therapy session. Kill me, now.
Angelica walks and stands in front of our mat, prompting us to speak.
"Okay, this is my wife Kim and I'm Jared. The baby's due date is February sixteenth," I say slowly, staring at Angelica. I don't want to see everyone's judgemental eyes.
What would they be judging me for?
"Nice, so your wife is six months along," Angelica asks.
"Nearly," I respond.
"Are you excited for your baby's arrival, Jared?" she asks another question. She never asked anyone else these questions! Why me?
I frown; Kim turns her body around to watch my expression. I stare into her eyes and she stares back. I can't see anyone else.
"Yes, I am."
Angelica taps her foot; I can see that out of the corner of my eye. "Jared?" Reluctantly, I look back up at our teacher. She is watching my expression, carefully, which is an odd thing to do to your student who has his wife with you. "That was a very honest answer, but I can see your fear." Her voice is softer when she speaks these words to me, and I'm a bit puzzled by this.
She smiles, and then turns to the couple next to us. They only respond with the same questions and she doesn't ask them any additional ones. Not fair. Kim reaches and grabs my hand, I look back at her. Her face looks a bit disgruntled. I give her a questioning look, but Angelica demands our attention once again.
Watching the other couples almost automatically knowing what to do, I followed their lead, hesitantly. I opened my legs and Kim sat in between them. This reminded me of dirty things, but it was so incredibly unerotic in this place that it was kind of a downer. First thing we did, was breathing rhythms, which apparently I was supposed to contribute to as well. Even though I wouldn't be the one giving birth, it was essential that I learn how to breathe in a pattern that would be inspiring and beneficial to Kim's birthing plan...What?
I was supposed to put a hand on Kim's stomach to get a better idea of how she's breathing and if it's suitable. So there I sat, reaching around my wife, and she breathed in a rhythm that seemed quite acceptable to me. How could I know the difference? How come all the other men knew if they were doing this all right or not? Argh.
"Jared, no, no, no. Here let me show you," I see Angelica move forwards to me and I notice that my hand isn't moving up and down on Kim's stomach.
"Babe, why aren't you breathing?" I ask her.
Angelica sits behind me, she opens her legs and I notice them on opposite sides of my sitting position. She reaches forward and places a hand on my stomach.
"Now, breathe in deeply, Jared," she says. Kim pushes my hand away and turns around to watch, her eyes narrowed. Not sure what else to do, I breathe in. "Hold it there for a while," she says softly. I wait for her to give the signal, I can keep my breath in for quite a while, she's in for a shocker if this is some kind of competition or something. "Now, exhale," she breathes out too, and her breath tickles my ear. I smile, slightly. Kim does not look amused. "Breathe in...and out. In...and out. There you go! This is how it's supposed to be, do you understand now, Jared?"
"Yeah, sure," I say. She pats my stomach a little and then disentangles herself from me. I wave to Kim to get back into our previous position. "Come on, I'm practically the breathing master right now. Get between my legs, woman!" I tease. Her face is blank, yet determined.
Kim sets herself on her knees, and shuffles toward me. What is she doing? She's supposed to settle in a legs crossing position facing away from me? What I'm not prepared for, as she stares at me seriously, is for her to punch me in the groin. I fall over to the side, and push my legs together in pain. I see spots in front of my eyes as I groan, ah, the agony. What the fuck was that for? As I glance over at her in my current fetal position, she's sitting cross-legged ready to continue.
Angelica comes over to us again. "Is everything alright? Jared?"
"He's fine," Kim says firmly. She glares up at Angelica. I close my eyes, biting my lip, waiting for the throbbing to ease up. It will go away soon enough.
Angelica nods, then turns back to the class wrapping up the lesson. I finally get myself to sit up and Kim is already getting herself to her feet and going to our bags by the benches. I slowly stand up, a little shaky on my feet. Kim grabs her coat, throwing it on in a rather pissed off mood and manner. Being a guy sucks sometimes. I wish I knew what I did to piss her off. Plus, this wouldn't hurt so badly if I didn't have a dick and balls.
"Jared!" I turn to see Angelica smiling as she walks over to me. "You were doing great today."
"I spent the last ten minutes, wincing in the fetal position," I remind her. She rolls her eyes, not caring about the truth, it seems.
"But before that, you were doing excellent. You really took control. You were a great birthing partner. I wish you were mine," she says, her eyes won't look away from me, so I do that for us, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the staring. I like to look around when I talk and I feel very uneasy when I'm talking to someone who always has to look people in the eye.
"Thank you, I thought I sucked, personally."
"Oh, no, you were showing up the other men in here."
"You mean the other dads?" Kim comes up to my side and slides her coat-arm around my bare one. "Not to mention they're husbands."
Angelica's smile freezes slightly. "Well yes, of course. Jared will be an amazing dad. So dedicated and loving, I can see it now."
"You don't know him. He could be a horrible father who beats his kids," Kim snaps.
"I won't beat my kids!" I say, outraged. Kim squeezes my arms, but that doesn't reassure me.
"I'm a great judge of character," Angelica insists. "Jared will be great."
"I think otherwise," Kim steps closer to her.
"Kim!" I say. I'm very confused right now. For the past six months she's been telling me I'll be awesome, now she's taking it all back in front of a complete stranger!
"You don't trust your husband?" Angelica says in a way that I feel as if I'm missing something. They're staring intently at one another and it reminds me of...the pack. They're staring one another down in a very territorial fashion, staking their claim. This is their land.
And then suddenly it clicks. Kim is jealous.
"Alright! Alright! Look at the time, Kim, it's time for me to go to bed, you know how I get if I don't get my beauty sleep. Bye, Angelica. Thank you," I'm pulling Kim away rather forcefully, I grab my coat, then drag her to the door.
"Oh yeah! We're having twins!" Kim shouts out before I pull her through the door. I take her down the stairs holding onto her tightly, we're silent. When we go down three flights and make it through the main floor and out of the building, she tears herself away from me.
"That was pretty funny," I say about what just happened. I thought it was obvious, but I have to make it clear that I had no idea she felt threatened until the last second. I mean, I would never have led that on as long as I did.
"Funny," she scoffs. Whoa, someone is in a bad mood, and it's my entire fault.
"Can I just say: I didn't know you were jealous until the last few seconds? Just before I dragged you outta there kicking and screaming."
"I didn't kick. And I wouldn't call it 'jealous', I would call it -," she starts.
"Territorial?" I finish. "Look, I've seen that all with the pack before, hell, I've been the defensive one, you think I like your Dr. Hottie examining you every week?"
"'Dr. Hottie'? You can't be serious. That's the most uncomfortable, awkward thing ever. Sure, at first I noticed his looks, but now he's seen a side of me that I can never find sexy in our relationship. Our doctor-patient relationship," she clarifies.
"Either way, he's sticking things up your vagina. As far as I'm concerned, that should be my job."
"You're not a doctor!"
"I'm just saying."
"Well, Dr. Hottie has an excuse, it's purely professional. Angelica was invading your personal bubble and touching your stomach, breathing in your ear. That's not part of her job description – hitting on the hot husbands!"
I smirk. "Well, I can't help it if I'm hot. Ow!" I receive a smack to the arm. It didn't really hurt, but I reflexively exclaim a confirmation that it 'hurt', just for her self-esteem.
"Did you even notice she was making advances?"
I thought about this. "Nope. I just thought she was being the teacher. I don't know the regular distance a teacher and its students have?"
"Teacher's do not make the moves on students. Just so you can remember this in the future. God, I hope you didn't believe this in high school," she eyes me carefully. We're already in the car, driving home. I keep my mouth closed, not wanting to bring any of this up. "Well?"
I shrug.
She persists. "Did you have an affair with a teacher once, Jared?"
Oh for God's sake. "Yeah."
This is what I didn't want, this silence as she learns of my sexual past. It's horrible and I've spent the past ten years keeping it a secret from her. She doesn't have to know this. All I want or think about is her now, but for a woman, that isn't enough.
"You slept with a teacher, Jared?" her voice is dangerous. I'm on a mine-field; I have to be careful where I tread. How I word things...
"I..." that's all I can say. Stupid.
"Jared."
"Let's just say, I now know the student-teacher relationship."
"You know now, doesn't change the fact that you didn't know then. How old were you?"
"Kim, let's not talk about this. You'll only get upset. Your blood pressure is already pretty high -," I say.
"How old were you?" she repeats. No getting out of this one.
"Sixteen," I sigh.
"Which teacher?"
I hesitate. This is rather embarrassing. "Mrs. Goodenough."
"Mrs. Goodenough?" Yep, I knew it would get that type of reaction. "She was married, Jared. She had two kids! She was in her forties when we were at school."
"And she loved me," I say slowly.
"Is that why she left?"
"Probably."
She thinks it over; her face is contorted into one of disbelief. "Did you love her?"
"Nope." I thought I did at the time, but when I compare that to the love I feel for Kim, it's nothing. I know it wasn't love I felt for Mrs. Goodenough. It was lust, mixed in with 'we could get caught'.
"Did anyone ever find out?"
"Nope." I'm keeping my eyes on the road. Simple, one word answers, will save me through all of this. "Well, my sister."
"That's why she left."
"Yep."
She nodded, not taking her eyes away from me. "Was she...'good enough'?"
I try not to, but I can't help it – I laugh.
"Stop it, I'm serious. I want an answer."
"Kim, I can't even remember."
She seems to have let it go, when I hear her small voice "am I good enough?"
The way she says it, breaks my heart. "Aw, baby, come here," I pull her into my side, kiss her head, but I can't help but chuckle.
"Don't laugh."
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry. That was the cutest thing," I say, not being able to help the smile from taking over my features.
"It wasn't meant to be cute..." She's waiting.
"You're great enough. Amazing enough. Perfect enough."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"It does to me."
She snuggles closer. "I guess that's a good enough answer."
"Good."
We drive the rest of the way in comfortable silence as we think about the day, our future and I think about Kim, mostly. When we're about five minutes away from home, she sits up, ready to say something, I can tell.
"Have you thought about baby names?"
No. "Sure." I think it's better if I lie and say I have thought about it. Is it so wrong that all I ever really think about is Kim? I mean, I'm excited for the babies, sure, it's just...Kim's my imprint, my life. She is what occupies most of my thoughts. Kim read to me from something that a woman becomes a mother when she's pregnant; a man becomes a father when he sees his child. I'm hoping that will be the way for me. Otherwise, I'm a horrible father, like she said I would be. I know she just said that in contrast to Angelica's word, but it made me wonder if that were true. I definitely would never beat my children, but would I be horrible in other ways?
"Like what?" she continues. Oh, right, baby names.
"Jared."
"Jared, Jr.? Absolutely not."
I'm not too choked up about that, I just said the first thing that came to mind, which was my own name.
"What else?"
Quick, think. It's hard when I'm put on the spot. "Ooh, look. There's our house!" I dramatically, lean forward over the steering wheel, and obviously point to our home. I pull up in the driveway, which is pretty much our front lawn. I turn off the engine, then quickly exit the car, race around the front of it and open the door for Kim. She gets out and looks up at me expectantly.
"What other names?"
"What names have you thought of?" I counter, hoping it will work.
"Oh, I don't know. A few, but none of them feel right, you know?"
"Totally, same here. None of them feel right." I open the door and we step into the house, turning on all the lights. She stakes off her shoes, then walks straight to the kitchen.
"You hungry?"
"Always." I follow her through the living room, our dining room, then our kitchen. It's all just one big open space, so I never really know what I should call it but the first floor.
As I sat at the table, watching Kim make us something to eat, I can't help but stare at her stomach and wonder in astonishment how there are two baby boys in there. I don't get it, nor do I think I'll understand it anymore once they're out, but what I do know is I love her and eventually, I will love them too. Kim glanced over her shoulder and smiled beautifully at me, making me feel as if everything was going to be okay even if we didn't exactly have the money to afford everything, we could make it work. She just told me all of that with her smile.
R/R!
