AN: I started writing this chapter when I had finished the previous one. I only started getting back into it recently. I love Jared, I love writing him, so I can't say this is the end of the story. I could go back to it at anytime, I don't know. I hope you enjoy this chapter and while I like it, I really think I could have made it better if I had the patience. Thanks for sticking around, loyal readers.
Chapter 9: The Ice Cream
So young and so handsome
So easily led
They told me to wait
I said
It makes a man out of me
You take the fun out of me
And I've been consistent to the fucking dream
And I've paid my dues
Just to get them all back
A simple man with simple desire
- Skeleton by Bloc Party
"Good morning," I say huskily in her ear, my voice low, as I wrap my long arms around her perfect waist. I pull her tightly to my chest and press my mouth to the side of her head. She leans back, and twists her arm around so that it's resting on the nape of my neck.
"Someone's up early," she says.
"I'm always up for you," I kiss her long, beautifully tanned neck, her skin so soft and smelling of water lilies; which was actually the name of our Dove body lotion that sat in a corner of our narrow shower. I used the same, so technically, this scent shouldn't be so pleasurable to me...but oh, it was.
"The kids will be up soon," she stage whispers and cocks her head to the side. I look over and Wes is standing by the couch, staring at his mother and father, curiously. I freeze in my position in the kitchen. He sees us. There's no escape.
"Morning Wes," I sigh, leaning against Kim, who is pushed up against the counter do to my weight.
"Hi," he mumbles, rubbing his eye. Behind him the television is softly being ignored as they relay the morning news. His small feet, that on normal days I would find adorable, but today I found irritating as he walked over to his mother, to no doubt claim her attention. And he did. Kim slid from me and the counter and scooped our five year old son into her arms. She walked him past our kitchen table and gently placed him on the couch, pulling the blanket on the arm rest, over his small form. I glance at the clock. It's six-twenty-two in the morning. This was mine and Kim's time. But kids didn't seem to understand that. They loved to get up early to torture fathers who just wanted alone time with their wives who they haven't fucked in eight days.
I mean, sure, he was all sorts of cute all cuddled up on the couch that was about ten times his size. And his little Spiderman pyjamas were super cool and his hair was all messy and bed-head-like. But. But. He was here. He shouldn't have to wake up until, like seven. Kim and I were up for a reason. I had to leave for work in about twenty minutes, and she was getting the kids lunches ready for their kindergarten classes this morning while she went off to work at the La Push high school.
It was only a matter of time before Joanna came down the stairs on her bottom, a habit she still hasn't gotten over. I went to the fridge to get my lunch that I had prepared for myself the night before. I might as well leave for work early. What was the point in staying any longer? I kissed Kim briefly on her temple before making my way to the front of the house.
"See ya later, Wes," I waved to him. He didn't even take his eyes off the television. I nodded, and went out the door toward work.
For the rest of the day, I had holed myself up in my office, doing my work, business as usual. Everything was fine and boring until my phone rang just after twelve. I picked it up, routinely.
"La Push Mechanics, how can I help you?"
"Hi, I'd like to speak to Jared Martin?" the gruff male voice said on the other line.
"Speaking," I said.
"Mr. Martin, this is Dave Lee from La Push Elementary School, I'm here calling in regards of your daughter, Joanna," he said.
I pushed the buttons on my calculator, again, realizing the number I had just configured couldn't be accurate. Start from the beginning. I recheck the numbers. "Uh huh, what's up?" I say, pressing the phone between my shoulder and cheek.
"We tried reaching your wife, but it appears she has taken one of her classes on a field trip. We're sorry to bother you but we have some urgent matters to discuss. There was an incident during lunch recess..."
"What incident?" I demand, feeling impatience sift over me. What was I calculating wrong?
"Do you think you could come in? I'd prefer not to do tell you over the phone."
"Is she alright?" I search my desk for last month's numbers. I just saw it. Where was it?
"Yes, Joanna is fine. But her behaviour is most unacceptable."
"Can't it wait until tomorrow? Or afterschool? I'm a bit swamped here," I ask gruffly.
"It cannot, because she is suspended," the man said, finally.
I stop looking for the papers and push the calculator away. "Excuse me?" I rub my forehead from exhaustion.
"You heard me correctly, Mr. Martin. Now, can you make it in for a small meeting?"
"I'm not good with this stuff," I defend. "You'd be better of talking to her mother."
"This cannot be stalled. I'll see you at one. Good-bye, Mr. Martin," and he hung up on me. I'm the one who has a right to hang up. He was the one accusing my daughter of something I'm sure she didn't do.
Well, I was sure but it seemed like something a father would say to a teacher who was trying to suspend her. It's part of my job as a father to defend her. To protect her from the world. What the hell could she have done that could get her into so much trouble?
Groaning, I picked up the phone and tried Kim's cell phone. It rang and rang until finally her voicemail kicked in. I left a brief message explaining what I knew – which wasn't a lot. I tried to continue work for the next half hour before heading out into the garage.
"Hey, Quil, I've got to go to the school for a bit. Something about Joanna," I said. Quil nodded, barely looking away from his task at hand.
"Tell me how it goes!" he called out to me as I swiftly walked the fifteen minutes to the school from our shop.
I hadn't been there in a while, but I remembered it almost perfectly. I'd spent the first nine years of my education at this school and don't remember a thing I learned. I hoped Joanna and Wesley would take more from it than I. But they seemed smart – seemed to have gotten their mother's genes, lucky them. They could pay attention to things, they liked trivia. Wes loved emperor penguins. He saw a documentary on them on the Discovery channel about a month ago and for like a week afterward that was all he could talk about. It was a bit disturbing watching your son act out the mating ritual of a bunch of penguins – although, he had no idea what it meant. But he would bow to the air and then curtsy, re-enacting how the male and female interact before they made a baby penguin. He would laugh and talk about how they were the tallest and heaviest penguins. He couldn't even really say 'penguins'. Each time he'd say it, he'd have a different pronunciation for us. Sometimes he'd say something like, 'pengins', 'penguns', 'penglins'... I don't know, but it was hilarious.
I entered through the front of the school and into the small foyer. There was a water fountain straight ahead that was rusty and unhygienic looking. I thought about getting the kids some canteens for them to hold their water instead of leaning over that thing. I scowled and entered through the glass wall that seemed to be the only new thing in the school – money spent on the secretaries and principal, of course.
"Hi," I said, leaning over the front desk to a large, miserable, grey-haired woman who had a permanent grimace on her face.
"Yeah?" she said. No hello, no how are you. What an ungrateful bitch. Sorry, I clearly wasn't in the mood for this today.
"I got a call from Mr. Lee. I'm here regarding my daughter Joanna Martin," I said.
"Take a seat," she pointed to blue armchairs. The foam was falling out of the scratchy upholstery. I smiled weakly and took a seat. I shuffled and the old wooden frame creaked loudly in the small, cramped office. I'm surprised to see a young woman lead my small daughter into the office. I look at her bright, large brown eyes, her lower lip, jutting out slightly and her long dark hair, falling out of its simple braid that Kim had arranged this morning.
"Is this your daddy, Joanna?" the woman asked, putting her face close to Joanna's.
Joanna nodded, twisting her lips, displeased by the sight of me. Well, I wasn't too happy about this either, kid. I stand and take a step toward the young woman.
"I'm Jared Martin," I say holding out my hand. With her one hand on Joanna's shoulder, she shook mine with her other.
"I'm Ms. Lynn, Joanna and Wes' teacher," she said, smiling, her long lighter brown hair, pulled into a loose bun, her glasses falling down her nose. She was very young. I resisted the urge to ask her age, knowing women didn't take too kindly to that question. Ms. Lynn looked a little guilty as she smiled weakly and said, "Honestly, I think this is being blown completely out of –"
"Mr. Martin?" A short, round, square-headed man was standing at the edge of a hall that led to his office. "Joanna, back so soon?" he leered. She was a child. She did not get the implications of sarcasm quite yet.
"Jared Martin," I assured him. A feeling of protectiveness bubbled to the surface of my being as I watched the way this principal stared at my daughter. "Can we begin?" I ask him.
Shaking his head, Mr. Lee said, "Yes, yes, of course, follow me, please." Ms. Lynn pushed Joanna forward. Joanna looked at me with the most plainly written 'guilty' face I had ever seen. She didn't even want to move ahead until I had. I shook my head and walked down the hall to Mr. Lee's office. I could hear Joanna's small feet, drag across the carpet in a shuffle.
I entered the office that had no personal touch to it at all. There was an attempt at one, with a tall plant in the corner, but it did no good. I sat in a chair that was in far better condition than the couches in the main office. Ms. Lynn directed Joanna into the seat next to me, facing the desk of Mr. Lee who sat behind it, looking almost giddy at what was to come.
Joanna crawled onto the seat, for it was far too big for a five year old. My heart tugged at how adorable she looked, turning on her knees to get more comfortable on the leather cushioned chair. I looked away, believing I had to keep my head in this situation and not let her cuteness waive my judgement.
"This is most unfortunate, most unfortunate, indeed," Mr. Lee said.
In my opinion, any man who used 'indeed' in a meeting concerning a present kindergartener was just a gigantic douche.
"Why is it misfortunate?" I asked, feeling the annoyance seeping into my tone. This was most ridiculous, most ridiculous, indeed.
"Joanna is a very smart young girl," he said. If you refer to someone as a girl, wouldn't they already be young, as a given? I don't understand that.
"I know," I said, stuffily. Joanna was kicking her shoes together out of the corner of my eye. Thwack, thwack. I looked down and saw her tiny, pink light-up shoes and reminded myself that I had to be strong and immune to her cute.
"Almost too smart," Mr. Lee elaborated.
"What?" I said, not understanding. "Is there a point? Please don't try and build suspense, this is already a major inconvenience for me."
"We have sent several notes concerning your daughter over the past couple of months, but something tells me they have been...apprehended." He eyes Joanna.
I look at my daughter who is staring innocently at the ceiling, counting the tiles. I can tell because her little mouth was mouthing the numbers. She was so little. Be strong, Jared.
"What are you suggesting?"
"You daughter is quite the devious child. I and Ms. Lynn have tried calling your home three times. And each time, we have been hung up on!" he says sharply.
I feel the snap of anger at his tone of voice. "Do not accuse my daughter," I say defensively.
"She is a troublemaker! And she is not being punished," Mr. Lee said.
"Punished? Who punishes a five year old?" I fire back, my temper rising in its familiar wolfish way. Only this time I wouldn't burst into fur. That was long ago. In my past. But still a small part of my present.
"Mr. Martin, please. No one is suggesting punishment. What Mr. Lee was trying to say was, maybe, a little more discipline should be enforced on Joanna," Ms. Lynn said softly from her position, beside the desk, standing, worriedly. She was obviously the mediator.
"She gets disciplined," I said, and yet, I tried to remember... She was a good kid!
"She's a good kid," I said.
"No parent wants to believe their child is bad," Mr. Lee said, smugly.
"She is not bad!" Ms. Lynn gasps in shock.
"Who in their right mind would hire you as a teacher for an elementary school?" I rage, rising to my feet, my face contorted into a ferocious glare that had Mr. Lee backing into his seat, Ms. Lynn's eyes widening in fear, and Joanna cowering into her corner of the chair. I couldn't care less at the moment though. My hands were shaking and I tried to recall the last time I had lost control like this. But I felt the natural need to protect mine. This man was attacking my daughter and I wasn't going to sit by passively and let him say these things.
See, this was why Kim was far better suited for these kinds of things.
"Mr. Martin, please let's all calm down. We need to discuss Joanna! Should I call Mrs. Martin?" Ms. Lynn fretted, twisting her hands together.
Mrs. Martin. Kim. My wife. She's gonna be pissed when she finds out what I'm doing. I look down through my red-eyed rage at my daughter, who is looking up at me in fear and shock. My shoulders ease up and I attempt to push out all the tension that built up. I nod slowly and sit stiffly in the seat, gripping my knees cautiously.
"Okay?" Ms. Lynn looked at all the occupants of the room.
"Daddy?" Joanna leaned over her chair towards me. I looked down at her little hand reaching across teh gap and placing it on my arm. She smiled at me and I wondered how on Earth this girl could be seen as bad in this fucking principals head.
I clear my throat and attempt to regain my composure. "What's the bottom line?"
Mr. Lee looks a bit shaken up and shuffles the papers on his desk. "Without you reacting violently, Mr. Martin," he starts, a threat clear in his voice. If he wants me to remain calm he better not threaten me, because I'm this close to ripping into his flesh. "We will be asking you to keep Joanna home from school until Monday."
Ms. Lynn sucks in a breath and stares at me expectantly.
"What does that mean?" Joanna asks, giving her principal an odd look. Bless her heart.
Mr. Lee is not a kid person. Why is this his job? He regards Joanna with a look of discontent. "It means Joanna that you have disobeyed school rules, several times. We have given you warnings and have attempted to contact your parents for months and you have skilfully avoided all of this from being resolved. You must be punished, so you will be removed from school property for the next several days in hopes that you will learn from this lesson."
Joanna scowled. "What?"
I jumped to my feet and pushed the chair back violently. "Fuck this!" I declare, reaching over and picking up Joanna, who squeals. I hold her under my arm and give the principal a glowering look. "Thanks for your kindness Ms. Lynn," I try not to spit out, because she has been nice, but this – bastard...I storm out of the office without a second glance and stomp my way rather childishly out of the school, with Joanna screaming at me to let go. "You don't need this fucking school. Fuck, fuck! Son of a bitch!" I know I shouldn't swear in front of my kid, but I was just so worked up that I couldn't start censoring myself now.
Somewhere on the way to work I remembered I had my daughter with me. She had remained silent while I fumed loudly, receiving several heady looks I might add, and never slowing down as she bounced in my arm. I turned her around and cradled her to my chest, she leaned automatically into me and sighed.
"I'm sorry, baby," I said, feeling overwhelmingly sad, suddenly.
"For what?" she whispers, nuzzling her nose into my shirt.
I'm such a wuss, I'm nearly blubbering at her words. Why was I crying? Be a man, Jared! "Oh," is all I say, stopping in the middle of the street and hugging her tightly.
"I love you, Daddy," she says.
Oh, God. I'm getting choked up, the lump in my throat and my eyes are stinging, threatening tears. "I love you," I begin to cry. What is wrong with me today? I'm acting like a hormonal pregnant woman (I do not miss those days).
She pulls back and wipes my tears away with her palm which is like the size of my thumb.
"Your tears are big," she comments, a smile breaking out across her face that is so innocent that I wished she would always be this naive.
"Yeah," I laugh weakly.
"Where are we going?" she asks.
I press my forehead to hers and shrug. "Where do you want to go?" I ask, not really caring.
"To the park!" she begs me with her enthusiasm.
"You got it, babe," I say, straightening up. No more crying. Be happy. I would not tell Kim that I cried in front of our daughter. Jesus, she'd probably be scarred for the rest of her life, I'll be paying for her therapy sessions in ten years because she is traumatized by her childhood memory involving her Dad's loss of control and sobs. Thankssomuch, Dad.
So, I took her to the park. She laughed a lot, which made me feel slightly better as I pushed her on the swing, waited for her at the bottom of the slide, held her up off the ground while she pretended to be doing the monkey bars all by herself – it was grounding and distracting. Until my phone vibrated and I caught the time, we were eating ice cream and sitting by the beach despite it being quite cold and the sky darkening. I hadn't even noticed. It was just after five and it was Kim. Oh and I had missed two other calls. I guess I hadn't felt it at all until I was sitting on it now.
"Uh oh, Mommy," I grimaced, glancing at Joanna who was licking the dripping ice cream off her hand. She beamed but didn't say a word, for she was quite preoccupied.
I wondered if I could get away with not answering the phone.
"Hello?" I hedged, waiting for an explosion.
Instead there was a small silence before, "When you left the school with Joanna, you forgot your son." Her voice was even and not as tense as I imagined.
"Did you pick him up?" I said, handing my ice cream to Joanna who looked overjoyed with having a cone in each hand. She paid attention to both of them equally. See, that was easy enough to do with food, but with twins, it was a challenge.
"Yes, about fifteen minutes ago because I got a call from the school telling me he had been left behind and was staying in the afterschool day care they provide. It cost us twenty dollars for him to stay an hour and a half."
"Thieves," I remark.
"Where are you?"
"The beach," I said.
"You have Joanna with you, right?"
"Yes."
"When are you coming home?" she is being very patient and I am thankful for that. I need it to be slow right now.
"Now," I decide, motioning to Joanna to finish up the ice cream quickly. Joanna nods enthusiastically at the challenge.
"Good, I'll see you soon."
"Yeah," I hang up and pick Joanna up easily. She sits comfortably in my arms and licks away the ice cream. I see her face covered in chocolate and remember I stuffed some napkins in my pocket.
By the time we get home, ten minutes later, I plop her on her feet at the end of our walkway and diligently wipe away the traces of ice cream as best I can in the dimming light. The winter months are rolling in and it's getting darker earlier each day.
"Don't tell Mom about the ice cream, kay?" I whisper to her, like it's our own little secret. She nods and shhh's me, spitting in my eye.
I open the front door with my key and usher her inside, undoing her small jacket and hanging it up on the hooks beside the door. I didn't have one since my temperature was still running quite warmer than these regular folks.
"Anyone home?" I called out, stupidly. I knew Kim was in the kitchen, waiting. We rounded the corner and she was sitting at the dining table. The television was off, I noticed, looking to my left. I guess Wes was up stairs.
"Hey, Momma," Joanna grinned sheepishly at Kim, who smiled back at her.
"How was your day?" she asks to humour her.
"Really great! Daddy took me to the park and we bought -," she gushed before I cleared my throat pointedly. She looked back at me and grinned. "I can't tell you what we bought," she informs Kim. I wish kids knew the art of subtlety – it would only be helpful to them.
"Mmm-hmm. Joanna, go upstairs for a while. I'm gonna talk to your Dad and when we're done the three of us will have a serious chat," Kim said, brushing back Joanna's messy, wind-blown hair from her eyes. Joanna looked a bit scared at the prospect of a talk and hurried up the stairs, calling Wes' name.
How to get out of this without getting into a lot of trouble? As I thought about it quickly, the only thing that came to mind was seduction. Glancing at my wife told me that wouldn't work out too well. I was gonna try, though, dammit. It's all I got – this body.
I pouted and widened my eyes as innocently as possible taking a page out of Joanna's book. I mean, she had to get the sad puppy-dog face from someone didn't she? Kim rolled her eyes.
"Ms. Lynn called me as soon as you stormed out of the office, she said you were very upset. She didn't mention that you left Wes behind, though. Jared," she leaned forward against the table and pushed her face into her waiting hands. I hedged forward and took the seat at the right side of the table, while she sat at the head. She looked at me. "I know it was probably difficult for you to deal with an authority figure since you haven't had to in years," she looks a bit amused, but I figured it was only a fool's hope.
"Mr. Lee is a jackass," I said, putting my hand on top of hers. She laughed.
"He is, but Joanna did wrong. If she's this deceitful at five then imagine what she'll be like when she starts getting boyfriends," Kim stressed.
Boyfriends? "Boyfriends?" The thought strikes me like a punch to the gut. I glance at the stairs where Joanna is on the second floor playing with her brother. This is too soon. Boys shouldn't be in her life unless it's me or Wes.
Kim smiled. Why was she in such a good mood? "We'll have to ground her," Kim said.
"Okay. How?"
"No TV, no candy, no friends, no computer -," Kim listed off.
"Whoa, then what is she supposed to do?" I ask, frowning.
"That's part of the punishment."
"You don't punish kids."
"You do if they misbehave."
"They're kids," I say in disbelief.
"Jared, you didn't have any discipline and do you remember your teen years before me?" Kim said, rather smugly. How irritating.
"So? Joanna and Wes have two parents. I didn't," I said.
"I had one, as well," Kim pointed out.
I groaned in frustration, and then suddenly remembered my plan. I was a little horny, anyway. So if this worked out... I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers. She was a bit shocked, but she responded in kind. Whooo-eee. I cradled her face in my hands, remembering us being interrupted this morning. I opened my mouth and she let me slide my tongue in. I shifted my chair so I could get closer to her. She held onto my wrist that was on her face and reached forward for my shirt with her other, yanking me closer. Oh, well, alright. I was kneeling on the ground between her legs. She didn't have to lean down to me all that much, we were practically level with one another. We kissed for a while, my hands running up and down her sides and skimming over her breasts. She gasped and pulled away so I moved down her jaw, lower down her neck.
"Daddy, Joanna hided my truck!" I growled and pulled away from Kim, who was wiping her mouth quickly. I turned my body, leaning my arms on the side of her chair.
"Wes," I said slowly, trying to regain some form of composure. He stood there, his right cheek pink, his hair tussled and his face disgruntled.
"She hit me!" he ran to me and threw his arms around my neck, pulling me down. I let out a frustrated noise and Kim disentangled herself, leaving me to lean against no one but the damn chair.
Kim was at the bottom of the stairs calling for Joanna to come down this instant. I stood up and Wes' arms were still locked around my neck.
"Are you gonna let go anytime soon, buddy?" I ask him.
He shakes his head, scared to fall the six feet down. I don't blame him and walk over to the couch where I unlatch his arms around my neck and drop him down, he laughs and rolls around among the cushions. I'm glad someone's happy because I sure wasn't for being interrupted, and something told me Joanna wouldn't be pretty soon either. I sat down with Wes jumping up and down behind me and beside me. His sister was getting in trouble – it was a good day.
Joanna sulks as she comes down the stairs, knowing her predicament. She is so smart. Kim glances at me and sees me soften up – which, only makes her expression harden.
"Sit," Kim orders, pointing at the other couch.
"Whoa!" Wes giggles, jumping higher and higher.
"Jared," Kim says and I reach over and hold Wes to my chest, locking him still. He squeals as he tries to escape my arms. His head whips back and knocks my jaw, causing me to bite my tongue.
"Jesus Christ, Wes!" I shout.
"Jared!" Kim scolds, giving me a look of disgust.
"Sorry. Wes stay still, I mean it," I say, loosening my grip and he slinks to the floor with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
Joanna sits down, her legs stretched out before her, only her ankles reaching the edge of the seat cushion. She is so tiny. How can we punish her when she looks like that?
I look over at Kim who is sitting on the ottoman. She gives me a pointed look and I try to look impassive and resolved.
Joanna's eyes are round and dark brown, her lower lip is trembling as she lets out a shaky breath. Damn, this kid is good. She knows how to lay it on thick. I'm incredibly impressed with her ability to make me feel like the worst father on the planet.
"Joanna, apologize to Wes," Kim orders. She is the rock of this family. I'm a big pussy, crying and weeping and easy. I would be a terrible single parent. I shudder at the thought.
"Sorry," she mumbles, her head down, chin to her chest.
"Look him in the eye," Kim says.
Joanna looks up, her eyes watering and stares at her brother, who is still smiling. I put a hand on his head, as a warning, but he only sees it as hilarious. Kids.
"Sorry," Joanna says, slowly with a hint of sass. Kim notices it to and her eyes narrow slightly.
"Good," she says, nevertheless. She turns to Wes. "Go upstairs, Mommy and Daddy need to talk to Joanna alone."
"But, I want to stay here!" Wes announces locking his arms around my leg. Oh for crying out loud.
"Wes," Kim says. "Jared, help," she says, realizing she'll have to be the enforcer with Joanna.
I clear my throat and lower my voice to sound more commanding and father-like. "Wesley, go upstairs, right this instant."
Wesley looks up at me from his position on the ground, and gives me a curious look. I think children can smell fear and lies. I mean, he was sizing me up, trying to come to the appropriate conclusion on if I was serious or not. He realized I was faking it, and gave me an amused look. Oh, it was so humourous that I was acting as the disciplinary one. Well, I'll show him.
"Hey, I'm being serious, man," I said. Yeah, I had to add 'man'. What was wrong with me?
"Okay, man," he laughed. How did I raise such smart-mouthed kids? I look up at Kim for help and she is giving me the exact same amused stare. That's where he got it from. My own wife, laughing at me, with my own son.
"Wes, listen to your father or there will be no ice cream for you tonight," she says, and Wesley sighs. He gets up and stomps up the stairs. "No, stomping!" Kim shouts, and he doesn't because he is scared of his mother. See, I don't want that. I want them to like me, which I realize is completely ridiculous since I should be a father first and a friend second, but, I still want that. I mean, don't get me wrong, Wesley is a Mommy's-boy and loves her dearly, but he also takes her seriously and with respect. I realized my kid had no respect for me. That was disarming and I felt myself become incredibly depressed all of a sudden.
I tried to focus on Kim's lecture to Joanna, who began crying when Kim laid out the punishment, but I couldn't concentrate.
What kind of father was I going to be?
I know it's a bit late to think about this, since I had been one for five years now, but it was such a shock to finally think about it that I became absorbed in my own thoughts.
"Now you're father and I are in complete agreement on this. So, no tricking him, got it? Right Jared?" I heard Kim wrapping up.
I nodded, my hand to my chin. Joanna was crying and I had to look away or the guilt would consume my already sad thoughts.
"Go to your room and tell your brother to come down," Kim said, and Joanna cried all the way up the stairs.
Kim looked at me with a grim expression and got up from the ottoman and sat beside me on the couch. She pulled me back so I could sink into the back cushions. She rested her head on my shoulder and linked her arm through mine. She curled her legs up onto the couch and leaned heavily on me. I didn't mind, but I was distracted. I placed my hand, the one not attached to hers, on her knee and rubbed it absently.
Wes came down the stairs slowly and turned the TV on, then folding himself into a position on his stomach on the carpet in front.
"What are you thinking?" Kim whispered, reaching to press her lips to my jaw. The loud banter of the cartoon characters drowned out Joanna's tantrum upstairs, as Wes turned up the volume to an almost deafening sound.
I was too distracted to care, and so was Kim, it seemed. "I think my kids don't respect me," I tell her.
"What?" I hear her sound truly astonished. "What are you talking about? They love you."
"Love is not respect," I reply.
"Yes it is," she insists. She places a hand on my cheek and forces me to stare at her. The flash of bright colours fills my peripheral vision. "Jared, they look up to you so much."
"I'm tall," I say.
"Shut up," she practically has to press her mouth to my ear so I can hear her over the television. We're both in no mood to snap at Wes, to tell him to turn it down. "They adore you. They laugh at you and with you. They love your voice when you read them stories before bed. They always ask for your opinion on what they do. They beg you to take them to the park. They get you to kill the bugs in their room. They ask you to fix their toys. They want you to watch them jump into the pool during their swimming lessons. They do funny things because when you laugh at their jokes it's a high compliment. They love it when you make them macaroni and cheese, it's the best. They know you will protect them and that they're safe with you. They know you love their Mommy deeply. And they know you love them, very much."
I'm getting choked up at her words, for like, the fiftieth time today. I look up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. Fatherhood has made me into a sucker. How was I going to survive the next twelve years? When I thought about it, I realized one day Wes and Joanna would have kids of their own, and I would be a grandfather. Oh God, I'd forever be surrounded by children that will own me. They'll manipulate me and I'll be a gooey mess.
Kim kisses me on the lips and wipes away a tear I didn't know had fallen.
"My big werewolf, reduced to tears by love," she teased me, poking my side.
I smile. I don't want her to turn her attention to the television, and she doesn't, even though it is incredibly seductive.
"Hi," I whisper.
"Hi," her mouth moves, but I can't hear her. I wonder if she had heard me?
I capture her lips, and kiss softly and slowly, revelling in her feel. I grip her soft waist, and pull her closer to me, as I angle my body so that I can get her whole body lined with mine. It won't go any further then us just kissing, with our son right there on the floor, and who knew if we'd actually get around to having sex that night, but it didn't matter. She, Wes and Joanna were my life and I never wanted that to change. If I could keep this moment, I would: with Kim kissing me, Wes laughing manically at the television, and even with my unhappy daughter upstairs. I wished Joanna was happy, but that would be for another day.
R/R!!
