Ayame

Three weeks. Three weeks since that devastating, absolutely heart-breaking phone call. I couldn't believe I did that, that I'd hurt Mine. Mine was talented, she would find someone else to work for in an instant. But her love life… that was another matter. Ayame held the tiny red velvet box. Inside it was the ring that he had meant to propose to Mine with. It was all for the best, right? It was protecting Mine, right? Then why'd I feel this way? Like a two ton truck just rolled over me.

I kept waiting. Waiting beside the telephone. I knew it was stupid. What did I expect her to do? It was meant to be me. Me begging her to take me back, telling her I loved her. I wished I could do these things now. But Akito's threats were barely concealed within his words.

I couldn't, wouldn't hurt Mine, however indirectly. How many times had I told her I loved her, only for her to believe that, in a few words, that I didn't love her anymore? How could I do something so unforgiveable? It was all for the best. These six wrods were all I had for comfort and understanding. 'Tori and 'Gure got mad at me. I didn't tell them about Akito. What would be the point?

I loved her. I was going mad. Stark raving mad. I couldn't survive without her – we were meant to be. If we were meant to be, I'll have to stay away. But how? How do you love and protect somebody if you're far away?

Akito

I'm sorry… Ayame. I'm… jealous… that you have… somebody who loves … you for who you are… and that… I'm selfish…that… I don't… want you to… have a happy… ending. For…you to… be lonely… selfish… like… me.

I'm… sorry…

So… sorry…

Ayame

The Zodiac had been assembled to the main house. We didn't know why. We didn't know what had happened.

Akito. Has. A. Terminally. Ill. Condition.

Even though we hated him, absolutely loathed him, we still hurt much. We were bonded, linked if you want, by blood, perhaps even something deeper than blood, perhaps centuries of magic. This was the magic bond of the Sohmas.

But.. wait… I could go back to Mine! Once Akito was… dead… his word didn't count anymore did it? Mine! How much my heart leapt with this news.

I walked over to Hatori. "Hey, 'Tori. Weren't you with Akito?"

"No.. I was out.. on business. Trust him to get sick that time."

I just kept thinking about Mine, her soft voice, her sweet eyes, her kind face. What was it stopping me going after her now?

My two inner sides fighted with each other. The angel, and the devil. How ironic. The angel wanted me to be cautious – this might be exactly what Akito wanted. The devil told me to go to her and propose – be risky for once in your life, use your freedom. It was inner turmoil – inner conflict. How could I live like this? Akito's memory haunting me every step I went, every breath I took, every thought I thought, had to be Akito's. I felt sick. My life did not belong to that… monster. But on the other hand, I couldn't help but feel… like I was his. That it was my, the Zodiac's, fault for his ill health.

Akito was still alive – barely, though. Still, that didn't mean that his mind was in any worse condition. His mind was still active, still plotting to make our lives harder. But how, how could I get around his notice to see Mine, tell her I was sorry, that I loved her?

Ayame would no doubt tell his advisors to keep an eye out for the Sohma members, the Zodiac especially… how?

Ayame

"Hiro…" Ayame coughed. Hiro, his advisor, was over in an instant.

"Yes… Master?" Hiro asked, bowing his head.

"I told you… to keep an eye.. on Zodiac members… yes?... But… now you must… leave Ayame… and Mine… alone." In Ayame's mind there was guilt, there was moral, and there was a sense of righteous. She knew what she had done to Ayame and Mine was wrong. But it would have been the way that everyone expected Ayame Sohma to act.

Ayame Sohma, thought herself sourly. The fake me, not the real me. How can I live with this…this… farce, everyday of my life? Ayame loved Mine, and they went for their love.

Against all odds.. fighting… fighting for results… fighting for their… love… Shigure…

Ayame drifted off into sleep…

Ayame

I'm going to visit Mine. Today. I have to. If I don't I'll go mad – you only get love like this once in a lifetime, and only if you're lucky anyway. I love Mine, and I'll give my all to her, but she should know, I need to protect her as well. Will she reject me? After that terrible phone call, I'd reject myself. Hope for the best…

Two Days Later (Mine)

It had been barely a week. Before, before well, the Incident. Not a break-up, because deep down, I somehow knew that this was not Ayame's fault, and that it was something out of his control. Call me crazy, but I always thought he'd protect me, at whatever costs. Call me mad, but I thought I did still love him after all that happened.

My doorbell rang. I quickly cleaned up the pillow case I'd been sewing and rushed over to the door. I didn't even bother looking in the hole to see who was there. I got just about the biggest shock of my life. Ayame, my personal sun, just stood there. He looked abashed, and quite… embarassed?

I was… I have to admit… quite shocked. After all, he told me there was somebody else, and that he really didn't love me anymore. Of course, that could all be a lie.. but unlikely. I did believe him then, on the phone, but then I started having doubts. Ayame looked at me. I stared back. This was awkward.

I started blushing. I thought I was over Ayame! Turns out I wasn't… But now that he's here, I can finally tell him how much he hurt me, how much anger I feel towards him, how much I also love him, and how much I wish I didn't love him. All this and more. I felt like a wreck. I had so many feelings running around in me that I couldn't even figure them out myself.

"Well," Ayame cleared his throat, "Mine… I came to say… ah… well… it's… it's like… you see… I'm sorry… it's not what you think… I was wrong… I'm sorry!"

I was about to respond, to hurt him like he hurt me, but suddenly he was hugging me, and it felt perfect, even if it was just for a brief second. Suddenly there was a flash of sound, and I was holding empty clothes and a snake. So this was what Ayame was talking about… I mused.