"Jack! Jack wait up!"
Jack stopped so Jenny could catch up with him. "What's up with you?" she asked.
"Nothing," he lied.
"Bullshit. I know you Jack. You're not acting right and everyone can see it. Come on, this is me you're talking to. You can tell me anything."
He looked down. He knew his behavior had been pretty bad lately. He didn't mean for it to be. "Zach's getting out of control," he said quietly.
Her eyes widened. "Oh no, how bad is it? What has he done to you?"
Zach Taylor was probably the most dangerous and volatile person in their high school, which was impressive for a freshman. Nobody really liked him and everybody stayed away from him. Everybody except Jack anyway. He had been curious about what made Zach tick. They had started out as friends and they had started secretly dating about four months ago. At first Jack had been convinced that he was the only one who knew the real Zach and everyone else just saw a protective mask. But within the first week he learned that the real Zach was meaner and nastier than anybody knew.
Jack slowly lifted up his shirt and his tank top to show her the bruises Zach's foot had left two days ago. He couldn't even take off his tank top in his own house because he was afraid someone would walk in and see what had been done to him. "I found him cheating on me and I confronted him about it," he admitted. "He really didn't like that."
Jenny looked appalled. "Oh my God. Tell me you dumped his sorry ass."
He shook his head. "I can't dump him."
"Why not?"
"I'm afraid."
"You think he'll hurt you if you try to leave for good."
He shrugged. "Maybe. I'm more afraid of being alone though." He laughed bitterly. "My own boyfriend can't stand the sight of me and the guy I actually do love won't give me the time of day. Sid's got a more stable love life than I do. Hell, he's already planning his wedding."
"First of all, he's ten and his little relationship with Nancy Jenkins does not count," Jenny told him. "Second of all, Zach's a psycho. You have to get out like right now. He's just going to keep hurting you."
Jack knew she was right but he didn't want to admit it. "I think he's about to dump me anyway. He says I whine and bitch too much." He leaned up against a tree and sighed. "God, I am so stupid. Between Zach and not being able to have Doug--"
"Doug?" Jenny repeated. "Phil and Kofi's Doug? The Doug that is not gay?"
"Thank you for reminding me of that. I wasn't miserable enough already."
"Sorry." She shifted around from foot to foot. "Is that all that's bugging you or is there more?"
He just shrugged. "That's all that's actually wrong. Other than that, I'm just depressed."
"Well turn that frown, upside down!" Aaron said as he finally caught up with them. "There shall be no depression while I am around."
Jack rolled his eyes. Aaron was always so damn cheerful for some reason. It had been bothering him ever since the depression had really kicked in. It was a painful reminder of the way he used to be before the black cloud of despair had taken over his life. It had been forming even before the Zach thing started and was just getting progressively worse. He knew he should say something but he didn't want to burden anyone with his problems. Besides, he had thought he could handle it until recently. Lately he had found himself getting so down that it was getting harder and harder to sleep and eat. Hell, it was just getting hard to even pretend he wasn't half as miserable as he really was.
They were about ten minutes late for school because none of them were in a big hurry to get there. Jack's first class was biology. Zach was supposed to be in his class, but he wasn't there. Jack found himself unable to concentrate because he was so unsure about what all of it meant. Were they actually over or was this all just another fight to add to the list? He asked himself that over and over again, and while he was heading to his next class, he got his answer. Zach was with the kid Jack had caught him with in the first place. He didn't know who the kid was and he didn't care. He couldn't stand looking at the sight before him anymore. He turned right around and ran right out of the school. He ran until he was on the town limits, which was where he finally collapsed.
"Oh Jesus," he muttered. The blackness was threatening to swallow him whole again. He tried to take several deep breaths to calm himself down. It used to work a couple months ago but now it just made his chest ache even more. Everything felt wrong. Even with Dave being an asshole and the probability that Doug would never love him shouldn't cause this kind of pain. He had a family and bunch of friends that loved him to death. Why didn't he feel happy at all anymore? What was wrong with him?
He lost track of how long he just laid there. But after awhile, he got up and hid out in the woods. If the school called home and told his parents he was truant for his seven other classes, he was going to be in big trouble. He didn't care though, which made him feel even worse. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't even care about much of anything anymore.
