I hope you're enjoying this story so far. Yes it is my first and I dont own MJ bla bla...I dont know why that must be said by authors. Kinda hard to own people, u know? Anyway, I know this timeline is a little messed up but this story came from a dream i had. In this dream he was 28 when he was going through the charges. Review if u want...just be gentle :)
Two Hearts. One Dream Ch. 2
The next couple of days seemed to go by one second at a time...for two years, or so it seemed. It took me a while to get back up on my feet after collapsing on the waiting room floor. My cousin, Jon, showed up and helped me to my feet. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. The last thing I needed was pity. I brushed his hand off and left.
My mother wasn't speaking much, so it was up to my brothers and myself to set up the funeral.
"We could play Michael Jackson songs. He really loved 'Billie Jean'," Ryan suggested.
"Yeah, and Lola has a bunch of family pictures on her computer. We can make a slide show. Maybe even play some video of Will dancing to MJ's music." Cody replied.
I just stared out the window and tried to ignore the conversation. I didnt want any part in this.
"Lola, what color should the casket be? We could put him in his fedora hat so that he can be buried in style. Come on Lola, speak up!" Ryan paused. "Hello? Earth to Lola!"
"What the hell is your problem, guys? You're acting like this is some stupid play you're putting together for the hell of it. My son is gone. It doesnt matter what we put him in. I just want to get this over with so that he can rest in peace." I gritted my teeth and stood up. "If you get such a kick out of all this, then you plan the damned funeral. I just want to bury him and call it done."
My brothers stared blankly at me as i stormed out of the room. I couldnt see how they could be so calm about planning Will's funeral. He just passed away two days ago. My mother was like me. She didnt want any part of the planning either. I had to get online and send out many emails to friends and far away family. That was a mistake on my part. All I received in return was pity and it made the hole in my heart burn worse than ever.
We got the funeral set up. Atleast my brothers did, and they decided to do an open casket. Many close friends and family showed up. Half of them were part of my family. The other have was from Brian's, but I still hadn't seen any sign of Brian yet. I couldnt decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. My father showed up to my suprise. I was nervous to say the least. My brothers hated him with a dying passion. On this day, however, they seemed to embrace each other without a fight.
My brothers put up a slide show and showed a few videos of Will dancing along to Michael Jackson's music. People laughed as they watched him pull his hat over his eyes and pose like Michael. He would walk backwards when someone told him to do the Moonwalk and throw his hat to the side with a spin. The one video that made me lose the tears I held in for so long was a waltz me and Will did. I was on my knees in front of him and he held my hand. He had the right stance of a professional. I missed him so much. It just wasnt fair at all for him to be gone.
At the end of the service, three men in black suits moved forward and slowly opened the casket. At that point, my heart skipped a few beats and for a moment, I had forgotten how to breathe. I didnt want to see my son like that. I wanted to remember him as the free spirited, happy little red head that he had always been.
"If you would please move forward one aisle at a time," the pastor spoke softly. "I will lead you by the casket to say your final goodbyes."
I shivered and looked at the pastor. He held his hand out to me and helped me up. When he put his hand on the small of my back and ushered me forward to the casket, I froze.
"Miss Lola, I can understand if you would rather not do this."
"Yeah, you should have thought of that before," I snarled at him.
"Lola, be nice. Dont cause a scene," my father whispered sternly.
I snapped my eyes to his and he froze when he saw the fresh tears slide down my cheeks. His face fell from stern to sorrowful and he looked away.
"My apologies miss. Allow me to lead you outside," the pastor apologized.
I nodded and followed him out the door. I went outside immediately and walked as far away from the chapel as I could without actually leaving the property. I stared at the pink sky as the sun began to set. It almost looked like the sky was bleeding. It matched the feeling I had in my heart perfectly.
After a few moments, everyone else started to make their way out of the chapel and followed the casket into the middle of the cemetary for the graveside ceremony. I followed far behind, avoiding everyone around me. No one seemed to mind, thank God.
'Memories...I hoped I never had to come back to this place again. Not this soon.' I thought sadly as we walked into a small open building. They had called it "The Last Supper". The building was just big enough to fit the casket and two small metal benches. The front wall was a giant painting of "The Last supper."
I remember this place. This was the place we came to bury my grandfather. I looked around for a minute and noticed the spot they had set to bury Will, and it was ironically right next to my grandfather's grave. I smiled a little on the inside. My grandfather got very sick just before I gave birth to Will. I remember the last time we spoke to each other before he had died...
- Flashback -
"Hey Papa, what would you say if I told you I wanted to name my first born after you?" I asked. We were sitting in the front room of my grandparents' house. He always kept his chair facing the back patio. He always came to this room to think or just to be alone and pray. I sat in the rocking chair across from him and I slowly sank down into it. I was already pregnant, but I didnt want my grandfather to know. He was starting to lose his memory and get pretty sick. The last thing he needed was something like his only granddaughter having his first great grandchild and not being able to be there.
"It would be a great honor Lolo," I smiled at his nickname for me. He's always called me Lolo since I was born. "That would be great to see my only granddaughter raise a little one in my honor. You just make sure you teach him right. Make sure he knows to always follow his heart." He smiled and winked at me.
"Dont you worry Papa, he will follow in your footsteps. I promise." He nodded and kissed my forehead.
Two days after Will was born, my mother broke the news to our family that my grandfather had passed away. Her exact words to me were "as one life leaves the world, a new life joins it".
- End Flashback -
I wiped the fresh tears from my eyes and rejoined the ceremony. I stood in the back instead of sitting on the front bench with the rest of my family. I stood for a while and took another look around. When I turned to look behind me, I saw Brian walking towards me. When he saw me, he gave me a cocky grin as if this was some kind of party. My face went red and I walked towards him.
When I got closer, he opened his arms as if he were expecting a hug. I put as much force behind my hand as I could and I slapped him across the face. Everyone who was present grew silent.
"Ow! God Lola, what the hell was that for?" he yelled.
"What was that for? Are you freaking kidding me? You freaking asshole! My son is dead because of you and you have absolutely no remorse at all, do you?" I yelled back.
"Remorse? Come on Lola, I said I was sorry. What more do you want from me?" he questioned.
"What do I want? I want my son back in my arms, smiling and giggling instead of lying there, lifeless, in that metal box," I pointed to the casket as I spoke, but never took my eyes off of Brian. "but that will never happen." I paused and took a deep breath. "No, you know what I want? What I truly want? I want you to disappear! I never want to see you again! How's that for an answer? I dont want to talk to you or see your face EVER again! If you try and talk to me again, I will break your freaking nose. I dont care who's with you. Forget I ever existed Brian. This shit ends now."
Brian stood still holding his face. He didnt speak at all after that. I took that as an agreement on his part and I stormed off. I was suprised I wasnt in tears anymore. Perhaps I cried it all out for one day. I continued walking and my dad ran after me.
'What do you want from me...are you serious? What a jerk! I bet he doesnt have a guilty feeling bone in his freaking body! I cant believe him...' my mind was going crazy.
"Lola, come on, slow down. Where are you going?" my dad called after me. He caught up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and tried to turn me around.
I pulled away harshly, not even looking back at him. "I dont know. Away from here. Let me go, dad."
He hesitated and I heard him sigh and he let me go. I continued to walk away and my cousin's voice came next.
"Prima, you cant just leave like this. Atleast tell me where you're going." he begged.
"Jon, I love you. You know that, but I just cant stay here anymore. I have to get away from all the pain. The hole in my heart is so big, I'm not even sure if it's still beating. I have to get away from here. Away from everything that reminds me of Will. Away from Oklahoma." I sighed and kissed him on the cheek. "Take care of our family, chulo. I love you."
Jon sighed and looked down for a minute. "If that's what it takes to mend, then go for it." He looked up at me as a single tear slid down his cheek and he kissed my forehead. "I love you, Lola. Take care of yourself."
I nodded and turned on my heels and headed back home. It would've been easier to wait for a ride home, but I really felt better being alone right now. It took me about three hours to make it back home. Cody was already there waiting for me. He stood at the door as if he was waiting for an explanation. I brushed past him and headed for the bedroom and began packing as much as I could. Cody walked into the door way.
"Would you care to explain what the hell you think you're doing?" he asked calmly.
"Leaving. What does it look like? Dont try to stop me, okay? I cant handle this much pain. I need to get away from all these things. Everything around here screams Will's name." I explained.
"Alright. The Mustang keys are on the front table by the door." I spun around and looked at him in shock. 'He's not going to put up a fight? He's letting me leave this easy? Wow...' "Jon told me what you were going to do," he interrupted my thoughts. "I filled up the gas tank for you. Just make sure once you get to wherever you're going, you contact me."
I nodded and he hugged me and left the room. I packed as much as I possibly could and loaded up the Mustang. I had two suitcases full of clothes and other items. I packed my backpack with some books and snacks, and the rest of my things were shoved into grocery bags. I went back and grabbed the last bag and stopped in front of the living room and looked around at the number of Will's old toys scattered around the room. I imagined him running around with some of his toys and giggling like crazy.
'I wonder if I'll ever get over this pain...' I shook my head and turned to walk towards the front door. Suddenly, I heard a familiar name coming from the television and I turned back around.
"This just in: Michael Jackson is now facing child molestation charges. Reports say as many as nine children are testifying against the pop star for what he had apparently done to them during their stay at his beloved Neverland Ranch..." the reporter went on and on.
I just snorted. 'God, when will they ever leave him alone? He's just a normal person trying to live his own life.' I didnt realize it, but when I thought about Michael, my pain didnt seem as unbareable.
I felt so bad for him. Just hearing such horrible accusations these people were making against him made me sick to my stomach. The sad part was that his own fans turned their backs on him. So much for loyalty. I didnt understand how these people, who once worshipped him like some kind of god, was so easy to believe someone so gentle hearted could hurt a child like that.
I shook my head in shame and walked outside and threw the last bag in the back seat. I turned back to take one last look at my home and Cody walked out to give me a hug.
"Promise me you'll keep in touch," he said.
"I promise. Love you bro. Take care of mom," I replied.
"Love you too, sis. And I will," he smiled.
I smiled back and got into the car and took off. I jumped onto the nearest highway. I had no idea where I was going. As long as I was far away from the horrible memories, maybe my heart would mend itself in time. As I drove, my mind started to go crazy again.
'Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I should've kept to the schedule and picked Will up myself. No no...I cant blame myself. It was Brian's fault, not mine.'
I was arguing with myself over and over in my mind. I got frustrated and grabbed my IPod and switched on my music. I immediately felt calm when Michael Jackson's voice surrounded me. I felt such peace when I heard his music. I didnt know what it was about him. He worked such magic and spoke to his fans through his music. I got so lost in it all, I could've sworn I saw him sitting in the passenger seat, singing with me and holding my hand.
I drove for a long time without stopping. I only stopped when had to get gas or use the restroom. I considered stopping to sleep a few times, but some of the surrounding hotels that I saw looked way too dark and dangerous for me. At this point, I really wished my hallucinations of Michael were real. Atleast I wouldnt be alone and scared. I watched the sun rise and fall three times before my car eventually quit on me on what seemed to be a rural road.
"Son of a...come on, dont die on me now," I tried not to use harsh language. Even being by myself, I wanted to better myself and have more control. To be more like Michael and not use such vulgar language. The car slowed to a stop and smoke poured out from under the hood. I groaned and climbed out.
"Great...freaking great. I dont even know where I am."
I looked around and saw a sign that read "Downtown L.A. - One Mile Ahead". I sighed and leaned against the side of my car.
"Great. I'm in L.A....what the hell am I supposed to do in L.A.?" I yelled at myself.
'Dont worry Lola, just move forward. You were brought to L.A. for a reason.' a soft voice caught my attention.
I whipped around nervously, looking for the owner of that voice. I couldnt see anyone around me.
"Who are you? Where are you? What's going on here?" I was beginning to panic.
'Woa, hey calm down. I'm just a voice in your mind. I'm not physically real.'
"Not real?" I snorted. "Okay, so why does your voice sound so familiar to me?" I wondered.
'I am not in control of whose voice you hear in your own mind, Lola. Perhaps it is someone who has been on your mind, or on your heart a lot lately.'
"Oh, now I know that voice. You have Michael Jackson's angelic voice. Okay, I can live with that. So why exactly am I hearing you now? Why wasnt I hearing you before?"
'I suppose you could call me your voice of reason. My purpose is to guide you down the right path so that you have a chance at a better future. And you only hear me now because you are listening to your heart.'
I paused for a minute and then laughed bitterly. "A better future eh? I must be going insane! The voice of my idle is leading me to a better future. Wow."
'It is better than living on the streets for the rest of your life.'
"If it kills the pain I have in my heart, I dont care where I end up." I admitted quietly.
'I know a way. There is a way for that pain to subside, Lola. Now, put some faith in yourself and move forward. It may not make sense to you now, but it will when you get there. You will meet someone who will help you tremendously.'
"Now you're being ridiculous. Faith in myself? Do you realize how much pain I feel? The pain in my heart is too...wait a minute, when I get there? Where exactly is there?" I questioned.
'Move forward...' the voice whispered.
I groaned again when I didnt hear the voice anymore and leaned my head back on the car.
'Move forward huh?' I took another look around and shrugged. 'Well, I guess it's better than staying here.'
I opened the driver's side door and put the car in gear and began pushing it down the road. As I got closer into town, alot of people stopped to stare at me. I tripped a few times and tore my jeans. I started getting mad at the people around me for simply staring at me instead of asking if I needed help. I walked about a mile up the road and tripped again, scraping my leg. I growled at myself and my clumsyness.
'Ugh! If I ever had hope in finding the right guy, he would seriously have to be very patient. Damn.'
A few minutes later, I heard a crowd of people making quite a bit of noise. I looked across the street and noticed I'd stopped in front of the L.A. Courthouse. A bunch of people were standing by the doors.
Some held up signs while others simply screamed. I took a few steps closer to try and hear what all the commotion was about.
"Michael is innocent! Set him free!" one lady cried.
"No way! He's a pedophile! Our children arent safe here!" A man argued. I growled at the man and moved further into the crowd. I wasnt sure if this was some kind of town meeting or something like that. Eventually, I made it to the front of the crowd and looked at everyone around me. They all seemed to be waiting for something.
'Michael...God I hope this isnt what I think it is,' I thought to myself. Suddenly, a familiar looking black SUV pulled up and Michael slowly stepped out of the back seat. He hid under his big sunglasses and was followed closely by many of his body guards. The crowd began screaming his name and I covered my ears.
'Oh no...' I started to remember what I saw on the news before I left my home in Oklahoma. 'Poor Michael...'
Michael slowly made his way up the ramp. I read his body language quite well. He kept on a fake smile for the fans, but there was something about him that just felt so sad and alone. Suddenly, my pain didnt matter anymore. The way he walked and the way his lips pursed together in a forced smile made me want to reach out to him and just hug him. He continued to walk up the ramp until he was a few feet away from me.
'Now is the time,' my so called voice of reason spoke. 'Speak your heart to him. Let him know you're there for him.'
'Are you crazy?' I mentally argued with the voice. 'I'm just another crazed fan in his eyes. Words coming from someone like me would mean nothing to someone like him.'
'But you see him in a different way than everyone else. Look around you...' I looked at all the screaming fans around me, all trying to reach out and touch him. Some were even crying and I rolled my eyes. 'You're the only one here that sees him as a normal human being, Lola. Do you honestly think that will go unnoticed by him? He needs encouragement from someone who doesnt worship him.'
'I dont know...'
'Do you want a chance at a better future? You must speak now!'
I nodded and took a deep breath and stepped forward. Michael slowed down a little bit and he was close enough to where I could touch his shoulder if I reached out. My heart suddenly felt warm and I opened my mouth slowly, not sure what my heart was going to say for me.
"Mr. Jackson, no matter what happens in there, dont lose hope. I have faith in you." I was suprised at how smoothly that came out of my mouth. I didnt sound like a stuttering, crazed fan of his. I spoke to him as if I've known him for years.
Michael stopped and slowly turned towards me. I could feel his eyes on me and it sent shivers down my spine. He took a step forward and took off his sunglasses and stared deeply into my eyes. My heart almost shattered. His eyes held so much pain, it was unbelievable. What could've happened to make him this heartbroken and lonely?
He continued to stare at me and his expression changed. At first, his face was full of curiousity, like he was trying to study me and figure me out. Then, his expression changed to sadness, like he was sad on my behalf.
'Why is he looking at me like that?' I silently gasped and rand my hands down the sides of my legs, suddenly remembering how horrible I must've looked. I hadnt slept in three days and my clothes were torn and covered in dirt. I had dark circles under my eyes and my face was pale, and I still had some blood on my leg from scraping it earlier. 'Oh hell, I should've fixed myself up a little.'
After the longest minute of my life, Michael finally smiled at me. I started blushing. It was the sweetest smile I've ever seen. I couldnt help but smile back. Then he reached out and put his hand on my shoulder and it sent a jolt of electricity through my body. His body guards had to pry nearby fans off of Michael's arm. My eyes never left his.
"Thank you, miss...?"
"Lola." I smiled.
"Lola. I appreciate your kindness. You dont know how much that means to me," he spoke softly.
"Anytime."
He smiled and winked at me and turned back towards the building and slowly made his way inside. A few people around me were glaring at me, but I wasnt paying much attention. I started walking back towards my car and smiled to myself.
'So, my voice of reason was right. I was sent here to meet someone. To meet him.'
'Yes Lola, but there is more to it than just meeting him,' the voice spoke again.
'Really now? Well, I'm curious how this will turn out. But how is he going to help me? He seems to have enough to deal with already.'
'You both hold the same amount of pain. Give it time, Lola and be patient. Your better future awaits you.'
