She now knew the true meaning of torture; she endured it nightly in the form of dreams. Nightly she was haunted by memories, dreams, thoughts of her former best friend, Zero. Every time her eyes closed, she saw his lavender ones. His voice whispered in the silence of the night. It pained her greatly and confused her.

She loved Kaname with all her heart or so she had thought. Yet there was a nagging feeling that something was missing when they were alone together, a thirst that his blood could not satisfy no matter how much of it she drank, and a pain that even the sweetest of his kisses could not numb. A piece of her still belonged to Zero.

That was why she dreamt of him nightly. Since that first dream, many others had followed each and every time she fell asleep and caused her to awake drenched in cold sweat. The blissful dreams of earlier days were a memory of the past. Memories in particular kept replaying in her mind.

Once during their first year at Cross Academy, their last year living together, they had gone into the town together to do errands for the Headmaster. This was not unusual as their duties as prefects and guardians often caused them to go into the town to pick-up or deliver items in the town. As usual, she had taken him to her favorite cafe without even asking him after they completed their tasks. As usual, he had complained.

"I love the parfait here," she said in an attempt to justify her choice. Despite his hatred of that place, she took him there every single time they went into the town together. She knew that if he really did not want to be there, he would not have gone in with her. It seemed like any other time they had gone, except it was right after she had found out his secret and began letting him drink her blood to save his sanity.

She sighed. Memories such as those kept haunting her, every single day since the first dream had caused her to awaken in a cold sweat. Was this the curse of being a being that lived so long? That she could never forget her past? That she could never learn to let it go? Would she still have these scars in a thousand years?

She was in the bathroom, taking a bath and pondering why she could not remember anything of her past. Something told her that she needed to remember it because it would help her to unlock all the mysteries that surrounded her. Perhaps some memory could even help her to save Zero.

As she struggled to remember it became harder to maintain consciousness. This was what happened every single time she attempted to remember her past. Why did it happen? She knew what would happen once her strength began to fade...

It was then she lost control and began to hallucinate. The water looked like blood; she screamed. Zero then said "Yuki, are you okay?" Suddenly everything seemed peaceful and safe. No matter what happened he would be there to protect her.

She opened her eyes to see the pale light of twilight. She wondered when the dreams would end if they ever did. She listened to the steady breathing of her lover beside her. There was something about that sound that she found calming when she woke from her nightmares. She felt safe next to him.

Even as a "human" she had been in love with Kaname Kuran. Her mother had been unable to seal away her love for him completely because of its incredible strength. She loved him more than anything in this world; she would willingly lay down her life for his if she ever had to make that choice. As her mother had been to her father, she would be to Kaname. Yet in the decade she had spent "asleep", she had started to love another, Zero.

There had also been times when she was sure that his feelings for her were the same. When he protected her from the Level E vampire that time in the town, when he stayed up outside her room all night once when she had been ill, when he nearly kissed her in his room and when he had told her that she had been his reason for living despite no longer being human. If things had gone a little differently, they could have become as close as she had become with Kaname during the past year. However, that path was no longer an option.

Although he was a vampire himself, a Level D, a former human, he could not accept her for what she truly was, a pureblood and a Kuran. He did not truly love her back if he could accept her. How could he when he blamed vampires for the loss of his family and his humanity?

He had been so ashamed the first time he had given-in to his vampire side as vampires where the only thing in this world that he hated so much. He hated vampires and hated himself more for what he had nearly done to her. She knew that. However that did not prepare her for the sight she saw when she entered his room in the Sun Dormitory. The Bloody Rose was in his hands and he was considering using it. Although he had hurt her that night, she had forgiven him. The only thing she could do was react instinctively. She jumped on him and attempted to wrestle the weapon from him. He flipped her easily, but her goal was successful; he did not kill himself. For that she was grateful.

She wondered if she would ever be okay. The Zero she had loved did not exist anymore. His hatred, prejudice and anger had corrupted the once sweet boy she had known. In their last meeting, he stated his intention to kill her at their next meeting. That day she hoped would never come because she would not not be able to protect herself if it meant harming him. She had already caused enough harm to the both of them.