Jeff found Jack sitting all alone in the men's bathroom. The teenager was looking down at his knees, and he appeared to be pretty upset. "Jack?" Jeff said hesitantly. He didn't want his oldest son blowing up at him. "Can you talk to me honey?"
Jack sighed. "He fucking hit me."
"I know Randy did. I saw him. He shouldn't have done that, but when he gets scared, sometimes his temper gets away from him," Jeff tried to explain. He sat down next to Jack. "When we saw that Raven had Sid, we freaked out, and Randy was still freaking out back there. He didn't mean to do it."
Jack rolled his eyes. "I should have known you were going to defend him. You always take his side."
Jeff frowned. "Jack stop, it's not like that. I'm just--"
"Yeah, you're trying to tell me that Dad only did it because my stupid plan almost went wrong completely. I was very well aware of that fact before he slapped me" Jack leaned his head back against the wall. "I was just trying to make sure nothing happened to us. What were we supposed to do, wait until someone got kidnapped or worse before we did anything?"
"Jack, honey, I get why you did what you did," Jeff assured him. "It was stupid and reckless, but I get it. It's just that…well, you need to leave that kind of stuff up to me and Randy, okay? We couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."
Jack snorted. "In case you haven't noticed Dad, something already has happened to me. I've turned into a fucked up head case."
Jeff hugged his son tightly. "You are not a fucked up head case," he said vehemently. "You're angry, confused, and depressed, but you are not a fucked up head case. I used to be a fucked up head case, so I would be the one to know what one is."
"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Jack accused. "You know damn well I'm fucked up."
"You know, you can get down on yourself all you want, but to me, you're still as perfect as you were the day Randy and I brought you home." Jeff kissed Jack on the side of the head. "And there is not a thing you can say or do to convince me otherwise."
Jack glared at him. "You know, you're making it really hard for me to stay in this cranky mood of mine."
"Good," Jeff said. "I don't want you to stay that way. I want you to be happy again. I spent a lot of my time when I was younger being completely miserable and wishing I could die. I don't want you doing the same thing."
"Well to be fair, you had good reason to be miserable and hating life," Jack pointed out. He rested his head against Jeff's shoulder. "I don't think I could have gone through all that and came out of it in one piece."
"Honey, I wasn't in one piece for a long time," Jeff admitted. "It was Randy who put me back together again. I know this is going to sound corny as hell, but he was my savior. He's the reason I'm alive today." He tilted Jack's head up so his son was looking up at him. "Look, I know you're furious at him right now and I don't blame you. But you didn't see the look in his eyes after you stormed out. He was beating himself up over what he did to you."
Jack just grunted. He didn't seem completely willing to forgive and forget just yet. Jeff sighed and got back up to his feet. "Would you please just come back to the locker room with me?" he asked. "I would feel better if you did."
"But Raven's not here anymore Daddy," Jack protested. "I'm not in any danger here."
Jeff gave his oldest boy a pleading look. "Jack please, just come on. Could you humor me here just for a little bit?"
Jack groaned but got up. "I'm only doing this for you Daddy," he muttered. "I hope you appreciate that."
Jeff gave Jack a hug and a kiss. "I do. I really, really do."
The two of them left the bathroom and went back to Jeff and Randy's locker room. When they got back there, Sid handed Jack the BB gun. "Here, shoot Dad with this."
Jack stared back and forth between Sid and the gun. "Uh…why?"
"If you hurt him back, it will make him feel better," Maggie explained.
Jeff gave Randy an exasperated look. "Is that really the appropriate way to solve this problem?"
Randy shrugged. "Probably not, but he's a teenager. He'll reject my apology, so I figured that this would be the next best thing."
Jack looked at the gun and for a minute, it looked like he was going to do it. But then he sighed and put the weapon down. "Yeah, that will just make me feel guilty later," he muttered. "I might as well not do it."
Randy grinned a little bit and pulled Jack into a hug.
Jack groaned. "I never said I forgave you! Ugh! I hate it when you get mushy!"
Randy frowned. "Oh and why does Jeff get to hug you?"
"Well he's the mommy and--"
"What?" Jeff yelled at the top of his lungs. He could hardly believe what he just heard.
Randy studied Jeff carefully before nodding at Jack. "You know, you're right. He's always has been the motherly type with you kids and he looks--"
"Randall Keith Orton, if you finished that sentence, you will not get laid for a month!" Jeff shouted.
Sid and Maggie laughed and hugged Jeff's legs. "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"
Jeff sighed and smacked his forehead. He couldn't believe he was taking this from his own family. "You are all going to get it," he informed them. "I will make every single one of you pay. You can count on that."
Jack snorted. "Oh come on. What's the worst you can do?"
Jeff grinned evilly.
Randy groaned. "Oh God, we are all doomed."
