Chapter Twenty: Numb
The troops shoved me into the round, windowless room, and I suppressed a scowl as my gaze went straight to Han. I had known that Vader would likely torture him – not only to keep up appearances, but also to weaken his body so that he would be more receptive to hibernation. At full strength, human beings tend to fight the process, which results in death. When weakened, they accept it in an effort to give the body time to heal.
Which actually made sense, in a twisted sort of way. But then, this explanation had come from Vader, and that man was nothing if not twisted.
And I had to wonder how he knew all this in the first place. Just how many people has he frozen in carbonite?
But knowing about the torture and seeing its effects were two completely different things. I immediately went to his side and smoothed his hair back from his forehead, trying to assess the damage.
"Why are they doing this?" I whispered for Calrissian's sake. I knew he was standing right outside the door, trying to work up the courage to come in. The troopers and I had passed him on our way here.
Han blinked at me, and I schooled my features into a concerned mask, using only my eyes to convince him to play along with me.
Then his eyes closed again. "They never even asked me any questions," he replied tiredly, when a rather severe overtone of pain.
The door opened. "Lando, " I whispered to Han, who immediately struggled to his feet.
"Get out of here!" he attempted to bark as I held him up.
"Shut up and listen!" Lando retorted. "Vader has agreed to turn Leia and Chewie over to me –"
"Over to you?" Han snorted disbelievingly, leaning heavily upon my shoulder.
"They'll have to stay here, but at least they'll be safe," Lando pointed out. I frowned, not reassured. I'd rather be with Vader than with this character.
"What about Han?" I snapped pointedly.
"Vader's giving him to the bounty hunter," Lando replied, then winced, waiting for our reactions.
"Vader wants us all dead!" I snarled, mentally adding, Sorry, Vader.
"He doesn't want you at all!" Lando objected. "He's after somebody called . . . Skywalker."
Han sagged in my arms. "Luke?"
"Lord Vader has set a trap for him," Lando confirmed.
I hadn't thought about that, and nearly became angry over Vader for doing something so underhanded, but then I realized that if Vader wanted to talk to Luke, a trap would be the only way to get near him. Luke, unlike me, wasn't about to sit down to dinner with Vader.
And then I understood, exactly and completely, why Vader was here. Here, and not somewhere else he could have set a trap for Luke.
"And we're the bait," I said aloud, wondering tiredly if I should bother getting angry about the fact that Vader had omitted this little detail.
And I suddenly, fully realized that Vader had been planning to hand Han over to Boba Fett all along, likely without carbonite to protect him. What had he said about not knowing how close we were? He had thought Han was just – a chauffeur, or something. Someone expendable. But somehow he had found out the truth . . .
I sighed mentally, too weary to bother being angry, even though I probably should have been furious.
"Well, he's on his way," Lando confirmed, jolting me back to the present.
"Perfect," Han growled, his entire body tensing. "You fixed us all pretty good, didn't you? My friend!"
And with that, he slammed his fist into Lando's face.
The fight ended just as quickly as it began as Lando's guards entered the fray and thrust Han away from Lando. Chewie growled fiercely and started toward the knave, earning the unwanted attention of the guards and their guns.
"Stop!" Lando shouted at all of us before anyone could get hurt. "I've done all I can," he told Han tightly. "I'm sorry I couldn't do better, but I have my own problems!"
"Yeah, you're a real hero," Han spit back sarcastically.
Lando left without another word. When we were alone again, Han gratefully sank back onto the hard bench with my and Chewie's help.
"You certainly have a way with people I commented wryly, inspecting the wound on his chin. I tore off a piece of my shirt and used it as a rough rag to soak up his blood.
"So do you, apparently," he commented wryly, catching and holding my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Chewie turn his back discreetly, trying to give us the semblance of privacy, but I knew he would be listening. The big carpet was nothing if not curious.
However, I found myself profoundly embarrassed by the whole situation, and I cast my eyes down to my hands, which were still wiping away his blood.. At the time I had confronted Vader, I hadn't cared what Han found out. What he knew now was a different story entirely.
"How long, Leia?" he persisted.
I paused and closed my eyes briefly, then went back to work. "Just over three years," I replied evenly, unable to mistake his meaning.
A covet glance at his face revealed that his eyes had widened in shock. "Before or after we met?" he asked, sounding a little shaken.
I paused, then replied, "Before."
"Damn it to the hells, Leia –!" he swore, stunned.
"I know, Han!" I shot back, not able to bear his criticism. "I know. I've beaten myself up over it numerous times, tired to get out of it just as many! But I'm stuck now."
"Go to Mothma."
"And be tried as a traitor?"
He was silent, and I blew out a breath. "I'm sorry."
"You're right – about Mothma, anyway. She is kinda quick to judge."
"I'm still sorry."
There was another heavy, oppressive silence.
"Look," I said finally, "Vader wants the same thing we do . . ."
Han snorted. "What, to kill Old Toadface?"
I raised my head and stared at him in shock. "How did you –"
Han attempted to roll his eyes. "Oh, come on, Princess. Guy's had him in a stranglehold for years. Why wouldn't he want to kill him?"
I tried to smile. "You know, for a smuggler you have an uncanny grasp of Imperial politics."
He smirked, which turned into a grimace of pain. "Comes with the company," he grunted in reply.
I didn't know what to say to that, so I apologized again. "I'm sorry, Han."
He waved it off. "I know. And Leia –" he paused for a moment, as if thinking something through, then continued. "Whatever you need . . . I'll help. I'll keep this secret for you. I'll fly you to rendevous. I'll deliver messages. Whatever you need."
I was shocked at his offer, and it took me a moment to respond. ". . . Why?"
"Because I trust you to know what you're doing," he replied instantly. "And I trust you to do the right thing. And because I love you."
That shocked me even more than the last statement had. "You . . . love me?" I choked out.
He nodded feebly. "Yeah, Princess, I do."
I st back on my heels, confused by the intense rush of feelings that was overwhelming me. ". . . Oh . . ."
He smiled. "Why? What did you think I felt for you?"
I glanced at him quickly, then back down at the floor. "Honestly . . . I wasn't too sure."
"Well, I figured it out about two hours go, and now you know too. And I mean it, Leia. I'm here for you."
I took his hand, tears welling in my eyes. "Thank you, Han."
He touched my hair lightly. "You're welcome."
The carbon freezing platform was bustling with activity as we were led onto it, all of us handcuffed – except Threepio, of course. Droids weren't usually handcuffed, they were instead fitted with restraining blots. When they had the means to run away, anyway, wich Threepio currently didn't.
"If only you had attached my legs, I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position," the golden droid was busy squawking at Chewie from his harness on the Wookiee's back. "Now remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so don't do anything foolish."
"What's going on, buddy?" Han snarled at Lando under his breath as were placed next to the mine administrator.
"You're being put into carbon freeze," Lando replied shortly.
A muscle in Han's jaw jumped, but other than that he didn't show any sort of response. I wished he would. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so guilty about not warning him . . . or about agreeing to this stupid, stupid idea in the first place.
Across the way, Boba Fett leaned close to Vader. I assumed he was saying something, but I could hear him. However, Vader's reply, amplified by the vocalizer, carried easily.
"The Empire will compensate you if he dies. Put him in!" he ordered Lando's workers, ugly little aliens that were well-suited to mine work.
Suddenly, Chewie howled in grief and swung at the guards. Other troopers joined the scuffle, but it's not easy to control a rampaging Wookiee.
I stole a look at Vader, who was watching impassively, and likely impatiently, too, as Threepio began screeching at Chewie.
And then Han's voice entered the mix, and my attention immediately swung back to my own side of the platform. "Stop, Chewie, stop! Do you hear me? Stop!"
"Yes, stop, please! Threepio begged, sounding terrified. "I'm not ready to die!"
Han shrugged out of the grip of the trooper beside him, who made to hold him back until Vader's black gaze swung in his direction. He ceased his attempts immediately. I was impressed despite myself at Vader's control over his troops.
Han was at Chewie's side by now. "Chewie! Chewie, this won't help me. Hey! Save your strength. There'll be another time. The princess –" Han glanced over at me, and I moved closer, understanding the role Han wanted me to play. "You have to take care of her. You hear me?"
I snuggled up close to Chewie's side and looked up at him, making my gaze as wide and pathetic as I could.
I worked. Chewie let out a stricken wail, but stopped his attack. The troopers immediately clapped binders on him.
And then Han turned to me – and suddenly he was giving me the most heart-stopping kiss I had ever received in my life. Of course, it didn't help that I was so worried about him that my heart felt like it would stop at any time anyway, but it was at that moment that I knew that what he had told me earlier was true – he really did love me . . . truly, madly and deeply, with all his heart. And so I had to tell him.
As soon as they dragged him away from me, I called out, "I love you!"
He just smirked at me. "I know," he replied simply and calmly, and I realized that he had known before I had. That knowledge made me cry as I watched the freezing plate lower, and I had to turn away, unable to watch my beloved smuggler disappear in a cloud of carbon smoke.
And then he was lifted out, and my eyes went wide in shock. Whatever I had expected, it was not this, this giant slab of metal with Han's face and hands pressing out of it. And I could have borne the pain of seeing him like this, if it weren't for the expression on his face, the expression that screamed at me to help him, to save him. Lando knelt down beside the slab, checking the readings on the side.
"What's going on?" Threepio jabbered. "Turn round, Chewbacca, I can't see. Oh . . . they've encased him in carbonite. He should be quite well protected – if he survived the freezing process, that is."
Sometimes, I could cheerfully dismantle Threepio.
"Well, Calrissian?" Vader barked. "Did he survive?"
Lando sighed. "Yes, he's alive. And in perfect hibernation,"
Vader turned to Fett. "He's all yours, bounty hunter." He looked back at Lando. "Reset the chamber for Skywalker."
My head shot up at this, and I glared at him in fury. He was going to do this to Luke, too? And what was his excuse this time? I doubted a carbonite wall hanging would be as attractive to the Emperor as it would be to Jabba the Hutt, especially when the person inside was Force-sensitive.
"Skywalker has just landed, my lord," an officer announced.
"Good," Vader replied. "See to it that he finds his way in here. Calrissian, take the Princess and the Wookiee to my ship."
Lando reared bak in outrage. "You said they'd be left in the city under my supervision!"
"I am altering the deal," Vader hissed at him. "Pray I don't alter it any further."
Lando gulped and his hand jerked instinctively to his throat before he ushered us out of the room.
Vader had refused to meet my eyes throughout the whole exchange.
I had a bad feeling about this.
I saw Luke on our way through the halls. I did my civic duty and yelled, "Luke! Luke, don't – it's a trap! It's a trap!" at him, but other than that, I couldn't bring myself to care about much of anything. I was terrified, and I was numb, and for the first time in years, all I wanted was my father to come and make everything all better.
