Disclaimer : I don't own it.
Note : My longest chapter, yet. LOL Inspired by hummergrey's 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following'.
I actually saw this done to a woman's SUV before (though not painted pink), and it came complete with the, erm... added hood ornament you'll read below. LOL I wished I had my camera to get a picture of it! LOL!
Thank you all for your lovely reviews. :) I'm glad you're all liking it so far. :)
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(Ratchet's POV)
"I've had enough of their pranks!" I hissed, stalking around my med bay. Luckily, no one had been seriously harmed in the acts, but the twins were becoming quite the nuisance. Sparing a single glare towards Ironhide and Prowl, I could see the red flecks in their optics, showing their displeasure as well, and cycled my vents. "We need to come up with a plan of revenge."
Ironhide nodded. "Apparently having their afts welded together wasn't good enough." He groused, folding his arms over his chest.
"Revenge should be easy enough." Prowl nodded as well, leaning against the wall. "Sideswipe is cocky, and Sunstreaker is obssessive about his paint job. All we need is a prank to focus on one of those aspects."
"We won't be able to get them to come to the med bay that easily again." I turned and stared at my co-conspirators. "They'll be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary." I quickly did a mental check and smirked. "Sunstreaker does have a physical, however, in two Earth days."
"We have until then to come up with a plan." Ironhide stood up, ceasing his leaning against my workbench. "Something focusing on his paint job."
"Wait." Something clicked in my processors, and I was suddenly recalling a prank done on a friend of Mikaela's. It involved a girl's vehicle, paint, spray paint, and fuzzy boas, and I quickly did an inventory, realizing I had all the necessary equipment in my confiscation from. Especially considering I'd confiscated the boas glued to Jazz's fenders earlier. There was only one piece missing. Mentally, I thanked Primus Mikaela had seen fit to inform me of this incident.
"Ironhide, I'll need you to have a private talk with Mikaela Banes and Sarah Lennox." Briefly, I explained what I was looking for, despite the odd looks I received, and I chuckled when the other two pairs of optics in the room narrowed evilly. "Bring the stuff to me, and hide it in the back room. Make sure no one sees you." I instructed, before chasing them out of my bay.
This is going to be good!
(The Next Day, Ironhide's POV)
This is embarrassing.
Once the initial glee had worn off, to have the agreement and full support of the two formidable human femmes, I found myself accosted. Sarah almost demanded I take her and Mikaela to their homes for 'supplies' while simultaneously, she gave her husband the evil eye until he agreed to watch Annabelle, promising to watch his language around her and behave like a father.
I would have argued, but I'd learned long ago not to mess with human femmes. They were surprisingly strong and impressively resourceful when they were angry.
Still, this had to be one of the most demeaning things I'd ever done, and it didn't help I was getting curious gazes from my fellow mechs, who silently promised inquisitions later, just because it was Sarah Lennox behind my wheel, not Will. Not that, that was a rarity, but with Mikaela in the passenger seat, both wearing grins that would make Decepticons fear for their lives...
I shuddered a little, just barely managing to keep it out of the notice of the femmes as I slowly drove through the hangar. A glance out my back window had me sighing in relief a little. Thankfully they thought to cover it with a tarp.
Then I did a double take and screeched to a halt when I spotted something.
"Human-err... Mikaela, there is a strap hanging out of my bed." I tried to keep my tone quiet and somewhat polite.
She shot me a look that said 'So what?', but a low growl sent her scampering out of my cab and towards the bed, where she hurriedly stuffed the strap back under the tarp. Her eyes glittered a little as she returned and calmly slid back into the seat, but she remained otherwise quiet.
These femmes had surprisingly good...poker faces.
"This is gonna be good." Sarah bit back a snicker as she relaxed her already light grip on my wheel and let her arms drop to her side. "Promise me you're gonna get a picture of the finished product?" Her wide doe eyes turned to me, and I sighed again, making her squeal a little. "Thank you, 'Hide!"
Mikaela giggled. "Bee wants to know why you got to take me out today, instead of him."
"Optimus wasn't happy that Bumblebee was a part of the floating office prank." I shrugged a little, sending the humans jumping a little when the seat beneath them moved. "He has been watching over the youngling to find out whether the twins have had an adverse effect on him or whether this was a one time thing."
"And he doesn't know about the limbo cops thing?"
Considering most of the base was talking about it and had participated in it, it would be pretty much impossible for him not to. Especially since, after much badgering from fellow Autobots and pleading from humans alike, he finally took a turn. I shrugged again, purposely blocking all memory of having participated in that event myself. Luckily, some of the humans had been absent from the event. "He does, but considering that time it was Jazz, the situation is different."
As we pulled up to the med bay, we spotted the twins coming down the hall. Quickly, Mikaela bent over and groaned loudly, appearing to be in pain. I was about to question what was wrong when I caught her glancing up at the dash and winking with a smirk, before letting out another groan.
The twins didn't even pause as they drove by and I entered the bay. Once the doors were shut, both femmes burst out laughing and exited my cab, stalking out of the way as I drove past an evilly smirking Ratchet and into the back room.
(Next Day, Normal POV)
"I really need you to be offline and in your alternate form for these scans." Ratchet raised an eyebrow. "The scans are rather painful."
Sunstreaker shot Ratchet a wary look. His optics scanned the room, certain something wasn't right. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary and fully aware Ratchet was reaching for a wrench, however, he wisely chose to transform into his sleek yellow 2009 Stingray Corvette Concept form, popped his hood, and he cycled his vents before reluctantly going into forced recharge.
What he had failed to see, however, was Ratchet reaching beyond the wrench for a syringe filled with a strange liquid.
Once Sunstreaker was offlined, Ratchet smirked and grabbed the syringe, stabbing it into a vulnerable cable on the left side of the engine. Then he retracted the syringe, chuckled, and made his way into the back room. 'Ironhide, Prowl, it's time.'
It only took seconds before he heard the door to his med bay opening, and the familiar roar of the black GMC Topkick C4500 pulling into the room, followed by the quick blare of police sirens. He gathered what he could carry with ease and exited the back room, ignoring the looks on the others' faces as he handed them each items and began ordering them around.
Then he returned to the back room and picked the last piece, entering the room again and laughing at the way Prowl's head began to smoke, before the chief security officer forcefully shook it and focused on the task at hand.
Together, it took the three officers about an hour to finish the work, and Ironhide and Prowl were long gone before the effects of the cybertronian sedative wore off, or Sideswipe came looking for his brother. Ratchet even made sure he had all the scans he needed, before quickly vacating the office.
It didn't take long before a horrendous screech echoed through the entire base, and the three prankers in the main hangar doubled over laughing. Everyone else was confused, even as trailing mechs came rushing into the room to find out what the problem was. That only served to make Ratchet and the others laugh harder, realizing they had a large audience for what they knew was coming next.
And they were right.
"YOU FRAGGING SONS-OF-GLITCHES!!!" Sunstreaker's angry yell echoed through the entire base, as well as over internal comm links, causing all the Autobots and humans alike to wince at the volume and sheer venom.
"I think we went a little far this time." Ironhide crouched down and his cannons came out momentarily before he seemed to think better and quickly transformed into his Topkick form, before transforming back. He wasn't scared, though, he was just preparing to take the fight he knew was coming to a safer area.
Ratchet nodded, only slightly nervous, even as he backed up the file with the 'finished product' images and hid it in his memory banks. He quickly transformed into his yellow Search and Rescue Hummer H2 form, and awaited what he kne was coming.
"I'M GONNA OFFLINE YOU SO...SO.... SIDEWIPE, STOP LAUGHING!!"
Said laughter was echoing over the link, and seconds later a silver Corvette swerved into the hangar, driving back and forth like a drunk was behind the wheel. He barely managed to avoid hitting several humans and then proceeded to hide behind Optimus Prime's legs, his entire body shaking from his laughter. "Primus! I... I..." He broke up into laughter again, unable to finish his sentence.
"RATCHET! THIS IS ALL YOUR SLAGGING FAULT, YOU GLITCHING-!!" A loud screech was heard.
All of a sudden, a sight practically flew into the hangar. All noise stopped as absolutely every set of eyes and optics focused on the....pink, fuzzy mass. Mechs, femmes and humans alike all stared in horrified awe of the image before them, even as the said vehicle screeched to a stop and froze dead in it's tracks, leaving an extremely long set of black skid marks along the cement floors.
Sunstreaker sat quietly as everyone seemed to take him in. His usual golden yellow paint job had been replaced with a faded pink coat, and pink fuzzy boas were glued firmly to his fenders. Then, to top it all off, a giant stuffed...thing was strung across his hood, and the words 'Cougarmobile' were spray painted across his windshield and windows.
Several Autobots needed to look up the meaning of 'Cougarmobile' as well as identify the strange object on his hood. Then they all began to double over laughing, and loud clicks began to whir through the room, both from them speaking in their native language, and from them taking pictures of the work. Jazz collapsed into a graceless heap on the ground, recognizing the muse for the paint job and boas, and pointing as he laughed hysterically.
Bumblebee choked on his laughter, his wings bouncing around as he doubled over, standing over his human charge, who looked too horrified to laugh.
Ironhide carefully shifted around as Sarah and Will were standing beneath his feet, Annabelle sitting firmly in Sarah's arms. She was glaring forcefully at Sunstreaker for his language, but he obviously didn't care, and she broke out of her glare when Will shuffled her aside so they avoided being stepped on, when Ironhide accidentally stumbled a little with the force of his laughter.
Prowl's head smoked violently, but somehow he managed to stay online. He was leaning against a rather shocked Optimus Prime, clutching said leader's arm to keep from falling over. Said leader was standing there with his mouth wide open and his optics so wide, everyone wondered how they didn't fall out.
Then it got better.
Having had enough of standing there, looking like a fool, Sunstreaker decided to transform.
Mikaela and Sarah exchanged a look before turning and taking off out of the room, at least one hand covering their mouths as they tried not to laugh. Sarah was worst off, carrying a curious two year old Annabelle, and trying to run straight as tears streamed down her face with the force of with holding her laughter.
Sam and Will also exchanged looks before Will trailed off after his wife, somewhat worried about her balance and Annabelle's safety. Sam obviously wasn't quite so worried.
Or smart.
The fuzzy boas got caught up in Sunstreaker's internal mechanics, but considering they were made of harmless fluff, they didn't do any damage as they were ripped off. Unfortunately, they got stuck in certain areas, so when he was finished transforming, several bits of fluffy boa were hanging out of his lower midsection, hanging over the juncture between his legs, almost like a fuzzy curtain.
To top it all off, the strange object on his hood, quickly idenfitied as a massive, stuffed bra, was also moved, and still hung over his chest. No one dared ask the question on all their minds, about how he transformed without tearing it to pieces.
"How did you transform without tearing the bra up?" Sam's head was tilted in confusion, a mild look of horror on his face, completely overwhelmed by the look on amusement.
Well, almost no one. Ratchet thought, watching with a smirk as the human ducked out of sight and through the open window of the waiting Topkick -startling Ironhide in the process- when Sunny shot him a murderous look.
"I KNOW RATCHET, YOU WERE BEHIND THIS!" Sunstreaker was shaking, and held on to his blades tightly. "AND I WOULDN'T DOUBT YOU, EITHER IRONHIDE!" His optics settled on Prowl, who wasn't able to hide a snicker. "AND YOU, PROWL!! I'M GONNA FRAGGING CUT YOU IN HALF!! ALL OF YOU!!"
Optimus coughed slightly, a human gesture used to get attention, and blinked as the formerly yellow 'bot turned towards him, his left optic twitching. "Now, Lady Sunny-" He choked off in laughter, even as several other mechs made the connection to the incident with Wheeljack, and backed off when Sunstreaker's other optic began twitching as well.
"Wow, an Autobot with gender confusion. There's something you don't see every day." Epps spoke up, before disappearing out of the room in a fit of laughter.
Sunstreaker growled loudly and transformed again, managing to finally tear the boas off in the process. However, he ignored the massive bra still on his hood as he sped off after the laughing soldier.
Everyone who was able to think clearly enough to move, grabbed their cameras and cell phones and began getting video of the laughing soldier being chased around by the pink Corvette with the bra on top.
Then they all began laughing again, as said Corvette turned on the pranksters, and everyone watched a Hummer H2, GMC Topkick, and blue and white Police Cruiser were chased around the hangar, laughing their afts off at the cursing 'Cougarmobile' on their heels.
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Coming up Next on Autobot Pranks...
Prowl stars in... Chapter 14, Happy Holidays, Prowlie Claus
NOTE
: I have a chapter about a femme Optimus, as revenge from Sunny, (all credit given due), do I post that next, or the one listed above? Let me know what you think. :)
Hope you like it.R+R Please
Thank you
Tenshi
