Disclaimer : Transformers belongs to Hasboro, I believe. The idea for this chapter belongs to Negimasamurai. I'm just happy to write it. :)

Note : Due to a review, I've decided to post 'Prowlie Claus' at a later date, as a one-shot. Instead, I hope you enjoy femme Optimus. :) Oh, and I'm sorry for the late update, I was visiting my best friend for her birthday, and only just realized I couldn't open any of my files on her computer for some reason. :S

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(Normal POV)

Stalking down the hall, Sideswipe's face was a mask of grimness. Those seeing the large silver and black mech quickly got out of his way, and never suspected a thing as he rolled by, not even sparing any of them a glance. Little did they know that despite his gruff exterior, he was dying of laughter within.

He rolled past Ironhide, who shot him a look, and returned the gesture with a narrowing of dark blue optics. As if the grim mood he was in satisfied the weapons specialist's curiosity, 'Hide shrugged and turned, walking off in the distance. Once he was out of sight, Sideswipe's optics widened, and he covered his mouth with one hand to keep back a snicker threatening to escape.

'Hurry up, Sides. He's not going to remain in recharge for long!' Sunstreaker's voice shot over the internal communications line, startling his brother back on track.

Turning, Sideswipe eyed the corridor warily a moment, before swiping his hand over a panel and ducking into an office, letting the door silently slide shut behind him. He then turn and stared at the other two figures in the room and snickered again, before holding up a tiny micro chip. 'Got it! Not to mention...' He held up a data pad with an evil grin. 'Got all the instructions on how to use it.'

With twinkling optics, Sunstreaker held out his hand for the chip, while simultaneously leaning over a larger mech, who appeared to be in recharge. 'They always said he worked too hard.' While following Sideswipe's instructions, and making a few...simple modifications of his own, Sunstreaker attached the chip to an area of the other mech's armor, where he wouldn't be able to reach it himself. 'Time to see how it works.'

Flicking a small button on the data pad, there was a flash of light in the room that was almost blinding.

'Huh, at least the fragger fixed the explosion part.' Sunstreaker's optics narrowed and he grinned victoriously as the light faded, revealing the form of the other former mech. "Let's see how you like it." He muttered, walking around the desk and towards the door. 'Come on, Sides. I'm tired and I don't wanna miss this.'

With a low snicker, the two 'bots left the room, leaving behind the femme 'bot who recharged on, oblivious to what had just happened.

(Next day)

Ironhide and Ratchet were walking down the hall, past a particular office and talking about the defense training for the humans, when a loud shriek caught their attention, causing them to stop cold and spin around with weapons raised. They looked for whatever the threat could be, but never could have expected what they saw as the door to the said office opened.

A scantily armored, voluptuous femme 'bot came stumbling out of the office, blue optics wide with horror and confusion, only to pause when she found herself staring down to mechs with weapons raised in her direction. "Whoa! Wait a minute!" She cried, raising her hands in a sign of harmlessness.

Slowly, they lowered their weapons, taking in the gorgeous femme in front of them. It seemed to bypass their logistics routines that the armor she was wearing was a familiar red and blue, and the flame decale was even more familiar.

"Why, hello there." Ironhide sidled up to the femme, smiling brightly. Even more so when he saw the Autobot emblem on her chest, and realizing she was an ally. "What's a pretty little thing like you doing here?"

Ratchet stood there dumbfounded. "Primus!" He walked over slowly, his own grin forming. "Are you lost? Maybe we can help. I wasn't aware that any femmes had landed, but if they all look like you, I can imagine why Prime would wish to keep you secret." His optics narrowed a moment, taking in her armor, but then he brushed it off.

Her optics had narrowed considerably at what the medibot was implying, until she realized what he was saying and then they widened impossibly more, and cooling jets switched on as her mask came over her face, covering her nose and mouth. "I, um..." She backed up, noticing how hungrily both mechs were staring at her. "Stop that!" Turning, she dashed off, past several confused humans, and very intrigued mechs. "Stop staring at me!" She yelled at Jazz, swinging her hand and clipping his helmet as his optics scowered her body.

Oh Primus! She ran through the halls. "Excuse me, Sam!" She called, hopping over the startled boy, only to shriek when she crashed into Bumblebee and the two went sprawling across the ground. "Ow." She murmured, shaking her head and leaning up, staring down at the smaller 'bot.

Bumblebee looked a little dazed, but as he seemed to realize he was straddled by a gorgeous femme, he began to chirp out Cybertronian apologies. Then he got a good look at her, and his optics widened before a low wolf whistle sounded.

"I'm bringing sexy back." The music began pouring from his speakers, even as his own cooling jets switched on. "Yeah!"

Realizing the awkward position, the femme squealed and got off the young 'bot in a hurry, blushing as she dashed off. She could hear Sam laughing at poor Bumblebee's awkwardness as she went. Luckily, she had no more bad luck as she made her way to the more empty area of the base, where Wheeljack performed his experiments.

Let's see... There's no way this could have just happened. The last time something like this happened... Her optics narrowed angrily. The twins. I should have known. 'Sunstreaker. Sideswipe. Where are you?' They obviously weren't at the base, or she was sure she would have seen them.

'Out on patrol. Who... Um, who is this?' Was that a snicker over the line.

'You'll be finding out first hand, very soon.' Came the low threat, before she muted her comms and walked into Wheeljack's office. "Wheeljack."

The blue and white mech spun around, looking confused. "Oh, hello there. I wasn't aware we were getting a new member of the team today, let alone a femme." He paused and seemed to appreciate the view. "Very nice, what's your speciality?" Once the words were out, his cooling jets switched on, and he ducked his head. Obviously, he'd been spending too much time around humans.

Not even hesitating, the femme let one long orange blade slide down from her wrist and held it against the mech's throat. "What do you think?!" She hissed, her entire body trembling. First Ironhide and Ratchet. Then Jazz and Bumblebee. Now Wheeljack? She realized this must have been how Sunstreaker had felt when he was in this position. "Find the chip. Remove it."

The orders were simple, and Wheeljack's optics widened in horror as he finally recognized the blue and red flamed armor. "Op... Optimus? S-Sir??" His optics shuttered once. Twice. Then he shuddered and pushed the blade out of his way. "I'm really starting to regret this damn chip." He murmured, optics scaling the tall, slender back in front of him. "Has anyone ever told you, you make a lovely femme?"

A low growl was his answer.

"Right, uh...never mind." Bad thing to say. Bad thing to say. Shaking a little, he finally located the chip and began working to remove the holographic image it was producing. After several moments, he pulled back with a horrified look. "Um, sir? I... I believe we m-might have a problem." He fiddled with the chip some more. "Something's been tampered with. It's going to take a while before I can remove this."

Another low growl echoed through the room, and the femme went rigid in front of him. "Get the scans over with. I have a mission to complete." Her tone was low and deadly. I'm going to declare a... Her optics narrowed as she searched the Worldwide Web. An 'open season' on the twins. Whomever finds them can offline them. She barely resisted shaking her head. No. That won't work. They're mine!

Once the scans were over with, she took off out of the office and speedily made her way back to the main hangar, where unfortunately, she was surrounded by several mechs. "Move it! I'm going twin hunting!" She hissed, pushing Volt out of her way as she made her way to a clear area.

"Twins?" Ironhide seemed to temporarily shake out of his stupor to stare in confusion. "They're not here."

"I know that!" Without even turning around, the femme quickly transformed, freezing in horror when she realized that her truck form had also changed. It was still a semi cab, but the form itself was more slender and curvy. She groaned at the numerous whistles before starting her engine and roaring out of the hangar.

She barely paid heed to the vehicles following her.

'Sunny... Sides... Where are you?!' The tone was only slightly psychotic, even as she felt an optic twitch. While she could appreciate a good joke, this was going too far. 'Don't worry... I'm not going to hurt you.' Much.

Ironhide pulled up in Topkick form beside her. 'Miss, uhh... Are you sure you have clearance to be out here?'

You'd think they'd pick up on a few things. First of all, sure she was a femme, but she was a blue and red flamed femme, who turned into a semi, who also appeared at the same time their leader disappeared. Did they even notice 'Optimus' was gone?? She wanted to smack her head on something, but settled for picking up her pace.

Soon enough, two shiny Corvettes appeared in the distance, speeding off. She picked up her pace even more, growling as she slowly closed in. Hmmm... Offline them, beat them, or destroy their paint jobs beyond hope of simple repair... She contemplated. She managed to out maneuvre Sunstreaker, and bashed into his side, ignoring the horrified squeal he made when her armor scraped against his paint and left traces of hers on him.

Then she proceeded to knock Sideswipe off course and into Sunstreaker, further messing up his paint.

'You two...' She bashed into Sunstreaker's fender, grinning evilly at his indignant squeak. 'Will be lucky if I don't tear you into little pieces.' She swerved and avoided Ratchet, who was blocking her and trying to stop her from doing any damage. 'No one will mind, I'm sure. Besides, I'm 'boss 'bot'. I can do whatever I please.' She drove around Ironhide, who was too busy admiring her murderous mood to interfere.

It went on that way for quite a while. The twins taking a beating in alternate form, and many of the 'bots hanging back, wondering what was going on.

"Hell hath no fury like a femme scorned." Ironhide sang out, causing the twins to speed up, pushing their engines as they struggled to avoid the clearly psychotic semi.

Then a blast rocked the ground, and everyone scattered. Many transformations later, and several Autobots, along with four femmes -our blue and red femme, along with the Arcee triplets- stood glaring at Megatron and Starscream, who dropped out of the sky.

"Fragging Autobot scum! We're here to-hello." Megatron blinked at the femme in the lead, with the curvy body. A slimy smile appeared on his face plates and he scanned her form. "Where did you come from?" He stalked over, ignoring the Autobots tensing as he approached, and checked her out.

Apparently, he failed to notice Wheeljack arriving, or the look of blatant horror and disgust on the femme's face.

Running a claw up her arm, he leaned in a little. "How about you join me and together we can conquer this pathetic back water planet and create a new race of Cybertronian warriors?"

Blue optics blinked and widened, even as the claw that had been rubbing her arm, slowly wound lower and lower, until it brushed against her aft.

"Optimus, sir! I found-oh! Oh! Oh, Primus!"

Everyone blinked at Wheeljack's bizzarre reaction, looking at him, and then to the femme who looked about ready to tear Megatron to pieces. Well, more so than she had earlier. Then they all took in her armor, and the fact that their boss was M.I.A.

Several sets of optics widened in blatant horror.

Megatron almost shot away from the femme's side, realizing the horrifying indications. "PRIME?!" His own horror was easy to tell, as he glared at Optimus, before glaring at his own claw, like it had somehow betrayed him. "I felt up my sibling?!"

A snicker escaped Starscream.

Big mistake.

Turning on him, Megatron scowled. "You! You failed to warn me! You fail me yet again!" He bashed his claw into Starscream's head.

"I didn't know, sir!"

"That's no excuse!" Turning back to the Autobots, Megatron shuddered. "This isn't over!" Transforming, he took to the air and disappeared faster than anyone had ever seen him fly.

Meanwhile, Wheeljack walked over and after a moment of tinkering, successfully removed the chip. The holographic image shimmered a moment before Optimus' true form broke through. Turning, he glared at the twins and stalked towards them, pausing as he reached Bumblebee's side. With a smirk, he turned to the horrified youngling.

'I'm bringing sexy back, yeah!'

Bee shuddered and squealed, his cooling jets flipping on and his mask dropping down over his face.

With a hint of a laugh, Optimus transformed and returned to the task of teaching the twins a lesson, much to the amusement of the entire Autobot base, which sat back and enjoyed the impromptu smash-em-up dirby.

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Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi