Disclaimer : I don't own it.

Note : This is a multichapter segment, known as 'The Autobot Fair'. I have at least three Fair chapters to come, focusing intently on numerous rides and such.

My ideas are slowly but surely running out, I'm afraid. I'm going to see what I can do, but I have very few chapters complete. When I do run out of ideas, I will set the story status to complete, but if I am ever hit with a prank muse again, I can add it on later. It's what I did with other one-shots series I've written.

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(Sam's POV)

"You know what would be cool." I paused and looked at Mikaela, who raised her eyebrow in response. "A fair." When she gave me an odd look, I shrugged. "Something fun and normal we can do together and have a good time."

Mikaela smiled slowly. "Until the smaller twins decided they wanted to ride the ferris wheel."

The image flooded my mind and I blinked. I could just see it, too. The ferris wheel stopped, and the attendant lets Skids and Mudflap into a single cabin. Then they start to fight as it rises up in the air, the said cabin shaking back and forth before two robotic heads stuck out. The laugh that escaped me was shocked and a little disturbed, as I pictured them panicking and screaming for help.

"Optimus would just be able to reach up and pull the entire cabin down."

I hadn't realized it, but Mikaela was taking a drink when I mentioned that, and snorted into it, causing her to break out into a coughing fit, even as she laughed.

"A fair is an event for humans, meant to entertain, isn't it?" The voice was unexpected, and Mikaela and I both spun to find the major twins behind us. Sunstreaker's eyes gleamed in a way that told me if I told him I'd be in trouble, and if I didn't I'd be in trouble. "With rides and games and such?"

"What's a ride?" Sideswipe asked, standing beside his brother.

I exchanged a look with Mikaela. Oh, how to explain this. "Well..."

We tried. We really did. In the end, I think we did too good a job. We'd taken the twins to the rec room and then turned the tv on to where it was broadcasting about a local fair. It showed the rides from the outside, and in some cases from the inside as well. The games were of little interest to the brothers, but the look in their eyes as they took in some of the rides...

"Hey Sunny, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"That if you call me that again, you'll seriously regret it?" Sunstreaker shot his brother a look. Then he smirked. "I'm thinking we need to check out one of the local 'fairs'."

"Right." Mikaela raised an eyebrow. "Because people see Autobots at fairs all the time."

"Then maybe we should build an Autobot fair." Sunstreaker shot back, glaring at her a little. "And we won't invite the humans."

With a snort, Mikaela laughed. "Trust me, any fair built by an Autobot, I doubt a human would want to go to." She shook her head, brushing her hair out of her face. "Who wants to get splattered in 'bot bumper cars?"

I blinked for a moment. "They wouldn't need the 'bumper car' part, either. Just their alt forms." Then I winced. "Although Ratchet might have a few afts to weld later." I saw the look both brothers shot me and ducked down a little. "Never mind."

Mikael then laughed even harder. "Autobot merry-go-round, anyone?"

I tried to picture Ironhide sitting on the back of a pony, holding on to the pole and glaring. Then I blinked and scrubbed at my eyes, even as I shuddered. "That is a seriously messed up idea. Very scary." I groaned, hearing Mikaela giggle.

"I got it!" Sideswipe was grinning evilly as he grabbed his brother's arm. "We need a mini fair, just for Autobots." The words were innocent enough, but the tone he spoke in had Mikaela and I exchanging worried looks.

"Um, you know the government will never go for it."

Sides waved off her concerns. "We're out in the middle of nowhere, with miles of space. We can raid scrap yards for scrap metal and other spare parts. We have a lot of down time since there's been no recent Decepticon attacks, and we can tell them it's for morale and experiencing more of human life."

Sunstreaker's eyes slowly narrowed as he listened to his brother. "We need to make sure even Prime will fit in the rides."

Mikaela and I exchanged a look, both wondering why Optimus would want to try the rides, then both of us grimacing as we undoubtedly had similar images of said Prime on various rides.

(Two Months Later)

"I still say Optimus on the Tilt-a-Whirl." Mikaela grinned at me, giggling as Bumblebee bounced excitedly, jostling us a little.

Shaking my head, I didn't even keep up the pretense of driving, considering we were in the middle of nowhere, and there were several driver-less vehicles all around us. Well, with the exception of Will, who was riding in Ironhide, and Maggie and Glen who rode in Ratchet. "Ferris wheel."

"That would bore him. Hm... Tunnel of love?"

Bumblebee gave off a metallic snort.

Shaking my head, I grimaced. I really didn't want to imagine Optimus sitting on a giant swan shaped boat going through a tunnel with all sorts of lovey dovey stuff around him. "How about... Bumper cars he'd definitely win at. Who'd stand a chance against a Peterbuilt Semi made out of super strong alien materials? Um..." I tried to think. Oh!" I snapped my fingers as I mentally listed all the rides the twins had included in their giant fair. "I so wanna see Optimus get on the open Gravitron."

Mikaela's eyes widened and she pointed to my window, even as she covered her mouth.

Startled by her reaction, I turned to find the window down and Optimus driving alongside Bee. Crap. There was a slight crackle over the radio before his confused voice cut through the smaller Camaro.

"What's a 'Gravitron'?"

I sighed and shook my head. I could tell him, or he could look it up. "Wait until we get there. I could tell you, but who knows what the twins have done?"

It was the truth, too. The twins had secluded themselves, along with the help of several other Autobots, including the minor twins, the Arcee triplets, Volt, Hound and Wheeljack. Even on occasion, Ratchet would go out or Bumblebee. Ironhide, Jazz, Prowl and Optimus were completely clueless to what was going on.

"How'd you manage to get the government to agree to it, anyways?" I asked curiously, trying to figure out why they'd ok a giant fair for alien robots.

"We told them the cost to them would be very low, and there would not be many people to explain anything to." Optimus sounded almost surprised. "I must admit, the idea sounds like fun."

Then a police cruiser snuck up on our other side. "Yes, until the twins spring whatever prank they're pulling." He groused, before driving ahead of us.

"What if the fair is the prank?" Mikaela wondered out loud. "I mean, some of the rides would be pretty hilarious."

I nodded, my mind stuck on Optimus in a gravitron. Seeing something up ahead, I had to do a double take, and then it took everything I had for my eyes not to fall out of their socket. "Holy sh-"

Bumblebee honked loudly, much to our amusement, and sped off ahead, his excitement almost tangible. He squeeled into the massive fair that towered over us tiny humans even more than usual, and threw his doors open, almost booting us out in his hurry.

Once he was transformed, he began to bounce around, making all these excited little squeals and chirps, his antenni wiggling back and forth and his door wings fluttering. Giant mech or not, he was absolutely cute, and Mikaela's little coo proved it.

The other mechs slowly transformed, even as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, along with their friends, all came out of hiding. Some of the rides moved on their own, and much to our enjoyment, there were even human concession stands, with cotton candy, candy apples, and more. Apparently that was an add in on Ratchet's request, which Wheeljack and Volt were only too happy to agree to.

Immediately, everyone began to split up. Ironhide and Prowl stayed close to Optimus, who stayed at our sides along with Bumblebee, and the minor twins took off for a giant, covered, flat ground. Jazz looked around a moment before gently taking Flare-up's arm and leading her to the biggest ferris wheel I'd ever seen.

"Player." I murmured, pointing it out to Mikaela, who giggled.

Jazz looked over at us and winked.

I watched as Jazz and Flare-up bypassed the ferris wheel, seemingly at the last moment, and heading to a giant merry-go-round. I blinked awkwardly as I watched Jazz help Flare-up up onto the back of a unicorn before he took a pony next to her. Then I felt my jaw drop when Hound started the ride and walked off. It seemed simple enough. Ride the back of the 'animals' around and around at a calm, liesurely pace.

Then it began to speed up. Jazz's optics remained fairly calm, even as he leaned over and took Flare-up's free hand.

Slowly, the ride went faster and faster, until I couldn't make them out anymore. I could hear a faint squeal from the ride, and watched silently in fascination as after a moment, it began to slow down, before easing to a stop. Jazz and Flare-up were both swaying on the backs of their rides, no longer simply holding hands, but actually clutching at each other for dear life.

When they failed to get off quick enough, I watched as the ride started up again. Jazz shot Flare-up a horrified look, which soon disappeared when the ride spun too fast for my eyes to keep up.

There was a low chuckle, and Hound walked over. He stood there with his arms crossed and waited patiently until the ride slowed enough, before getting on it and turning it off.

Mikaela and I busted up laughing when Jazz actually fell off the back of the ride, and Flare-up leaned against the pole on the unicorn's back, still swaying unsteadily. Exchanging a look with my beautiful girlfriend, we turned to the Autobots, who seemed lost in discussion. Bee was the only one really paying attention, like us, and he chirped happily, shaking in silent laughter.

"Ok, so what first?" I asked, wrapping an arm around Mikaela's waist. Bumblebee helped us up into his hand, and we realized the group of mechs sticking to our side were suddenly staring at us intently. "What?"

"Seeing as how this is a human affair, we do not know what to do." Optimus answered easily. "What do we do?"

"Pick a ride, any ride." I swept my hands out, ignoring the way Sunny and Sides were grinning as they ran off towards a massive open...thing. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a giant gravitron, and I grinned. "But you might wanna save that beast for last." I admitted, pointing.

Ironhide's eyes narrowed. "Why? It doesn't look dangerous." Leave it to the weapons specialist to find the challenge in my simple warning, and rise to it.

"Looks can be deceiving." I shrugged. Then I slapped my hand over my face when Ironhide grunted and made a straight line towards the said ride. "Oh, boy. Come on, Bee, we'd better follow him."

We did just that, too. With Optimus heading off in another direction to check something out, and Prowl going over to the bumper car ring where the shouts of Skids and Mudflap could be heard, we were on our own. Ironhide ignored the snickering twins as he boarded the ride. Then he stood in the center of it.

"Uh, 'Hide?" Vaguely I wondered where Will had gone off to, but I let it be as the massive weapons specialist turned to us. "First of all, you're supposed to go over to one of those padded...areas." I pointed to one and he did so. "Then you slide off the belt part at the waist, step in and turn your back to the pad." He did so again. "And re-attach the belt thing."

As soon as he did, Sideswipe hit a button, and the entry way slid up, leaving the giant ride unaccessable by human means. Before Ironhide could get worried, however, I assured him it was supposed to do that.

Then the ride began to move.

I almost fell off Bee's hand as the three of us laughed, hearing 'whOA, whOA, whOA' over and over again as the ride spun in place, going faster and faster until Ironhide was nothing more than a streak of black. As the ride picked up speed, so did the volume of his 'whOA, whOA, whOA's.

"Whoa, guys!" I watched with wide eyes as Ironhide began to curse. "It's not supposed to go that fast!"

"I compensated for the weight of Autobots, as well as our advanced sensors." Wheeljack walked up to us. "In fact, it is supposed to go that fast." He pointed out a smaller version right next to it. "That is the one for humans." His optics shuttered briefly as Ironhide yelled furiously.

"Let ME outTA here YOu slaGGErs!!"

I laughed even harder, hearing the tinge of panic to his voice, and I clutched on to Mikaela and Bee, who weren't doing much better.

"STop thIS fragGINg rIDE!!"

Finally, after several moments of watching the thing spin in place, Sunny hit a button, and we all watched -slightly dizzy by this point- as the ride slowed and eventually stopped. Ironhide was seen standing clearly unsteadily in the spot before clumsily unhooking the belt, taking a single step out of the booth, three quick steps to the side and doing a face plant on the ground, where he lay, groaning.

By this point, Bumblebee hurriedly put us down as he bent over and clutched at his midsection, energon tears streaming down his face as he laughed so hard. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe weren't much better. Then Ratchet came running over. He started to scream at the twins, but I managed to get his attention.

Wiping tears from my eyes, I gave him a frank stare. "The ride is supposed to do that." I warned him.

His optics widened as he warily stared at all the rides. I don't think I'd ever seen him turn so suddenly nervous before.

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Coming up next...

Volt and the Minor Twins star in... Chapter 16. The Autobot Fair, Part 2

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi