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Chapter 6: Emmett's Departure

Last night had quite possibly been the best night of my life. I hadn't done anything but kiss Bella a for a couple minutes, but they were the most passionate minutes I'd ever shared with anybody. They also made me more hard than the prospect of having actual sex with anybody else had ever made me. But that's beside the point.

Bella had went back inside when we heard people comign and I drove back home, with out Tanya- I was possitive she could get a ride from Tyler so I wasn't too worried. I had spent the night jacking off, and, once again, damnign Emmett to the deepest pit of hell. Emmett would be leaving to catch his plane at noon- exactly one hour from now. Had last night's kiss not happened, I would have been going to see Bella in about three hours. However, it had, and now I wasn't.

I decided that it probably wasn't a good idea to try to seduce Bella the day her boyfriend leaves. But today, everything I had planned was teill for Bella. I needed to consult with Alice and Rose again. Before, some small part of my mind had desperately hoped that my quickly growing infatuation and love for Bella would disappear if I ever knew that she returned my feelings or at least lusted after me as I did her. After last night I knew she lusted after me. And yet, my affection did not dwindle- it grew. I was in one hell of a rut, and I needed help.

So, after about two hours of working on my thesis paper, I drove as slow as I could, trying to dely the inevitable. I knew that this conversation would decide everything. For me, at least. My last talk with them had really been about admitting to Bella how I felt, though I failed to come straight out and say it and instead practically told her I wanted to fuck her against a wall. Now, I needed to talk to the girls about whether or not I should follow through on that. Not the wall part, though that would be fun, but if I should sleep with Bella at all. Or even have any sort of a relationship with her. I didn't even have to knock when I did get there because the door flew open.

"Come on. Hurry up and get inside," Alice demanded as she grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. After she pulled me in she roughly pushed me down onto the couch and began pacing furiously in front of me. As she continued her pacing, Rosalie came into the room and sat down on the chair across from me, casually picking at her fingers as she looked around the room. Just then Alice came to an abrupt alt in front of me and asked loudly, "What did you do to Bella?"

"What do you mean?" I was honestly confused. She seamed angery. But hadn't she just told me the other day that I should tell Bella how I feel. The only thing I did was kiss her. Why's she angery?

"When Bella left last night she looked beyond pissed. You followed her and then when she came back she was like a zombie. She barely said three words to anybody!" Alice explained

"Relax Alice. I'll tell tell you everything. Just calm down, okay?" Instead of answering me she simply took a deep breath, exhaled, then silently walked over to the couch and took a seat. "Yesterday, at the party," I continued, "I went over to speak with Bella- under the facade of getting something to drink of course. Now, I did not intend to practically tell her I'm in love with her-"

"What!?!" Both Alice and Rosalie scream simultaneously at me. I knew they would interrupt me here, and most likely through all of my explaination, but this was a big step- I figured I should get it over and done with.

"I didn't straight out tell her I loved her. I told her that I couldn't be with the woman I loved, because she was already with my best friend. She understood my meaning perfectly."

"Oh my gosh! What happened?" Alice demanded to know as she jumped up and down a little in her seat.

"I pussied out. She looked so shocked. Like she couldn't ever fathom the thought of her being with me. Like I wasn't worthy. Like the only man she'd ever want was Emmett. Fucking Emmett." As I was recounting my story to the girls, I was rapidly losing all my self confidence. Reminding myself of he look in her eye sent my mind into overdrive. It was all to possible that Bella physically wanted me. But that look told me everything. She would never give me what I wanted most. Her love.

"Edward!" Rosalie yelled while snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Oh, sorry," I apologized while shaking myself out of my rather gloomy thoughts. "Anyway, I pussied out and tried to leave. However, I only got about half way to the door before Tanya grabbed me and pulled me into the bathroom."

"No,"Alice said dejectedly. She looked absolutely mortified. I simply nodded my head.

"Yeah. I know I shouldn't have followed her, but I guess I was just in the mood for a little... pick me up."

Alice scoffed at me and turned her head away, while Rosalie shook her and looked at me with pure and utter disappiontment.

"Yeah. So during my session in the bathroom, Bella walked in." Again I paused, waiting for them to interceed. Instead they remained completely sitll, silent. "So that's why Bella left so abruptly and so angery to say the least."

"She was livid," Alice whispered.

"We've established that Alice," I snapped, not wanting to be reminded of the look on Bella's face.

"She likes you," Rosalie said in return.

"Yeah, I know that too. She likes me. I'm kinda trying to get her to steer away from like and a little more toward love. Just so you know," I told them. Seriously, did they not understand why I am here.

"No, I mean she likes you!" Rosalie esclaimed loudly. At my still confused expression she elaborated. "She likes you as in, 'oh, Edward! I want you to take my v-card!'"

We all laughted at Rosalie's pour attempt to immitate Bella's angelic voice. And then, her words clicked and I stopped mid-laugh.

"Bella's a virgin!?!" Oh my God, please say yes. Please say yes! Fingers crossed.

"Yeah." Rosalie shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Her and Emmett haven't...." I trailed off, unable to finish the nauseating thought.

"No. I mean, we talk to Bella about it sometimes. She always gets real embarrassed though and says she's waiting for marriage. One time though, we had been out drinking and Rose had started talking about this guy, um... Jay?" At Rosalie's nod, Alice continued. "Yeah, Jay. Rosalie started talking about how good he was in the sack. And then, to everybodies surprise, Bella starts talking about 'this thing Emmett does with his tongue.' I was so shocked." Alice said, flabbergasted.

"Okay. I don't want to know anymore." When Alice had siad that Bella was a virgin I just couldn't stop myself from imagining so many scenarios where I took her for the first time. In all of these I would ravage her with my tongue before popping her cherry. I would be the first to have ever touched her there. Now that dream was shattered.

"So what happened after you followed her?" Rosalie inquired, sounding annoyed at my frequent pauses.

"Well after I caught up with her, I started asking her why she was so mad. Long story short, she defended herself. I asked if she wanted me to fuck her. She hesitantly told me she did, to which I kissed her," I told them hurriedly, not wanting to be interrupted.

"You asked her what?" Rosalie stared, bewildered.

"I asked her if she wished it was her sucking me. Then I asked if she wished I would fuck her up against a wall." Act cool. Show no sign of excitement. Damnit. Mr. Boner has arrived.

"You didn't," Alice exclaimed.

"I did." I needed to get out of here. Maybe go home and take a nice long shower.

"And you guys kissed? She didn't pull away or slap you?"

"No, there was no slapping nor pulling away. Until we needed to breath, that is." I told them smugly.

"Dear God! What are you going to do now?"

"For today, I'm just going to lay low. Give her some time to think. Give myself time to think. I mean, I love her. Every part of me- body, mind, and soul- knows that I love her. But Emmett is my best friend. I want him to be happy. Also, if Emmett is who she wants, I won't try to seperate them. But I have to try to show Bella that I love her as well. That I could take care of her and make her happy. So that she can make the right choice, right?" I needed their reassurences, their guidance. However, as they looked blankly at me, I knew I wouldn't get it Because if they were honest with themselves, they did not have a clue. I only hoped that by tomorrow morning, when I went to go see Bells, I myself would know if I was going to die happy or live in sorrow.