sorry this took so long everyone. it was a rough holiday for me. hopefully it will get better...but getting so close to christmas now has me a little down. i keep thinking of the things Elizabeth Taylor said on the morning of Michael's very first christmas. "I can't imagine a Michael without christmas, or a christmas without Michael." and this will be our first one without him here. now is the time all fans must stick close together. we may not be strong alone, but together we are unstoppable.

i've got to give major thanks to AmberDoodle87. with her story and reviews and emails, i was able to get more inspiration for upcoming chapters.

also major thanks to Lauren and Rebecca...always giving me comfort even when i dont think i really need it. Love u all so much!

Two Hearts. One Dream Ch. 28

It had been a couple of months since Emily passed away, and Michael had me smiling again within a week or so. Leave it to him to make me do things when I really don't want to. He grew very irritated that I wouldn't smile. I wasn't eating as much either, and every time he tried to corner me to talk to me, I scooped up Neveah and put my full attention on her.

After a few days of playing cat and mouse, or so Raymone called it, I talked myself into going back to work. My family was perfectly content on babysitting Neveah. Michael disappeared for two days once I started working again. I planned on confronting him one day when I came home from work. I walked in and changed out of my scrubs and walked outside where mother and my sisters were sitting with my daughter.

"Hey girls, how's it going?" I asked, slipping onto the back patio.

"Quite good, as always," Janet smiled as she rocked my daughter in her arms.

"Any trouble?" I asked.

"None at all. She's really living up to her name, Lola," mother smiled. "Little Heaven...she really is."

"Mike calls her little angel," Rebbie beamed. "How sweet is that? I wish more men were like my brother."

I giggled as she pouted a little. "Speaking of which, where is he?" I looked around the yard and the girls silently looked at each other with plotting grins on their faces. "What?"

"Uh, I think he's out by the pool. He told us to ask you to join him when you got here," Latoya said sweetly.

"Okay...now I know something's up," I snapped, folding my arms and looking at Latoya.

"What?" she asked.

"When you talk like that...there has to be some freaky plan going on..." the girls giggled and shook their heads. "Ugh...fine, I'll bite. Don't be suprised if Mike walks by here soaked from head to toe."

"Just like last time," Janet laughed. I nodded and headed out to the pool. I walked around the shed with my back against the side.

Maybe it was just me but I had a serious case of deja vu just then. I saw no signs of Michael and after a few minutes, I relaxed and stepped around the corner. A split second later, I heard a twig snapped and I dove behind a tree just being missed by a water balloon.

"Dam!" Max yelled. "Almost had you. You're almost as good as Mike now!"

"Almost?" I raised a brow. I saw Max grin and I dove again, missing a shot from a super soaker. I turned to glare at Michael and he shrugged and gave me an innocent smile. "Michael Joseph Jackson..." I growled, walking towards him slowly.

"Max...now!" he yelled and I jumped around Michael and dodged more water balloons coming from Max. Eventually, I was laughing but still determined to nail my husband. At some point, Max decided it was every man for himself and he turned on Michael, so now we were both running from him.

We hid on either side of the shed, not realizing it, and we both ran out to nail Max at the same time. When we did, we caught sight of each other and I grabbed him and got ready to smash his face with a balloon. However, I was taken by suprise when he wrapped his arms around me and jumped into the pool.

When we surfaced, the whole family was standing by the pool laughing. Even little Neveah was kicking and cooing at the sight and it made me smile.

"That's what I've been waiting to see, right there..." Michael whispered into my ear. I turned and splashed him in the face.

"Oh shut up," I grunted.

That was the first time I had laughed since Emily died and it honestly felt good. Michael could have done things a little differently, but of course with my luck, I married the mischievious one. Go figure.

The night of the first storm for Neveah, I was quite proud of myself. My motherly instincts took over, and when the power went out, I held onto her and rocked her until the storm passed. I was a little caught off guard when Michael didn't even stir. Usually, he was awakened easily by the loud thunder, but he was in a deep sleep.

I didn't think anything of it until a couple of days later when he left for the VMA's. Liz accompanied him and I stayed behind incase Dr. Murray decided to call me into work.

"Hey Lola...you got a minute?" Raymone came into Mike's office as I was reading at his desk.

"Sure Raymone, what's up?" I asked, setting the book down on the table. He looked at me and then looked away as if he were trying to find the words to say. "What's wrong?" I stood and stared at him.

"There's something you need to see. Come with me..." he walked out the door and I followed him into the living room. Janet was sitting on the couch watching the television and biting her nails. Her foot was on Neveah's swing as she rocked it. Neveah was sound asleep.

"What's going on?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

"Sit down..." Janet mumbled. I sat and looked at her for a minute before turning my attention to the television. Michael and Liz had just walked out of the VMA's and was now being interviewed. I didn't see why we needed to see this until Michael started to speak.

"What in the world?" I whispered. I got closer to the screen and studied him as he spoke. "What the hell? He looks terrible! How'd this happen?" I looked at Raymone and he shrugged.

"He seemed fine to me. I thought he was sleeping more than a normal person should, but he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks."

"He looks like he's gonna collapse..." I mumbled, biting back tears.

"It's not like that..." Janet whispered and I shot my eyes to her. "He was diagnosed a few years ago with insomnia. He...used to be addicted to...pain killers..." she bit her lip and clenched her fists.

I looked down at my hands for a minute. "Pain killers?" I thought outloud. My eyes shot up as I remembered the night I went into his room looking for him and all of those perscription bottles fell out of his bathroom cabinet. I jumped up and ran into his room. I opened the cabinet and found scripts, but no bottles.

I paced the room and then walked around his bed, which was not made for once. Raymone walked in as I flipped the sheets and four bottles fell onto the floor. My face went pale and I looked at Raymone. He looked away sadly and shook his head.

"No..." I whispered. I picked up each bottle and read the label carefully. By the dates it was perscribed and the amount that was in the bottle in the beginning to how many were in there now made me realize he was taking alot more than he should have been. "He's addicted..."

I clenched the bottles in my hands and stormed past Raymone. "What do you plan to do Lola?"

"I'm gonna confront him. I'm not gonna let him kill himself," I growled as I walked through the hall into the living room.

"So...how bad is the addiction?" Janet asked, not even looking up at me. I tossed the bottles next to her and she looked at them and then looked away. "I see...well then I think an intervention is in order," she said quietly.

"Intervention again?" Jermaine walked in and looked at the bottles next to Janet. "Last time we tried that Mike shut us out for three months. I don't wanna deal with that again."

"What choice do we have Jermaine?" she shot back and then looked down at my sleeping daughter. "For her sake, something must be done."

"Let me..." I interrupted. "Let me just get him alone for a while. Maybe I can talk some sense into him or something."

With a few more arguments about how he wouldn't listen and that I was waisting my time, they finally agreed. That night, I waited in Michael's room. Janet stayed in my old room with Neveah for me. When he walked in, my heart felt like it was about to shatter. He looked exhausted and incredibly pale.

"Hey," he said tiredly.

"Oh Mike..." I whispered as a tear slid down my face.

"What?" he asked, slipping next to me and putting his arm around me. "What is it? Is everything okay?"

"You tell me Michael," I said.

"What are you talking about?" he looked at me strangely and I felt anger boiling in me. I stood up, brushing his arm off and pulled the almost empty bottles out of his bedside drawer where I had hidden them from his mother.

"I'm talking about these, Mike..." I threw them on the bed next to him and he eyed them and then looked back at me.

"Is it bad that I'm in pain?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, it is bad. Even worse when you're taking too much of this crap. You know this could kill you, don't you?" I asked, clenching my fists.

"You don't know what it's like," he looked away.

"Then tell me..." I kneeled in front of him and he continued to look away. "Let me help you. I'll fight this addiction with you..."

He snapped his eyes at me and snarled. "Addiction? I'm not addicted Lola. I'm just in pain. I didn't know it was a crime to take medicine to help ease the pain. You just don't understand..." his voice, harsh at first, slowed and got quiet.

"Mike...please let me help you. I may not know what it's like to be in the pain you are in. That's why I want you to tell me. I want to help you. I love you..." I put my hands on his shoulders and he flenched.

"You'll never understand. Go to bed Lola. I have a concert to prepare for in the morning."

I'd never seen him in this state before. I was too shocked to say anything after that, so I did what he had asked and went to bed. The next few days went by and I hadn't hardly seen Mike at all. Neveah was sensing a change in the atmosphere and she cried alot during the night. Michael hadn't seen her in days and she wasn't happy about it.

"Lola, why don't you go to the concert tonight? It will do you some good to see him dancing again," mother said. "Go on now, I'll take the little angel."

"No, I don't wanna leave her now. I think she senses the absence of her father. I should be here to comfort her. To be both parents until Michael can get a hold of himself."

"Honey, you will be no use to Neveah if you aren't yourself, and you aren't yourself when you aren't with Mike."

I nodded and then looked at her for a minute. "What is it that you're not telling me?"

"You're too smart for your own good, Lola," she smiled. "This concert is not for rankings or money or anything like that. This is your brothers pulling out the big guns in attempt to save Mike. It took alot of convincing for him to finally agree to this show, but its supposed to be a Jackson 5 reunion, so you should go enjoy it."

I smiled and nodded. "Okay, call if you need anything mother. I love you," I kissed her cheek and then kissed my daughter on the head.

"Love you too child," she said.

When I got to the arena, Michael was already in his dressing room getting ready. I wasn't suprised no one else was in the room with him. He liked the solitude just before a big show. I walked up as he was arguing with a button he couldn't fasten on his white shirt and I shook my head and smiled.

"You know, my mother always said you always gotta be ten percent smarter than what you're working with," I teased. He gave me a fake smile and I helped him buckle on some gold leg straps onto his pants. "Looking fabulous, as always. I wish I could dress like you and get away with it."

He looked down at his feet. "Yea well there's only one me, you know..." he mumbled.

"Yea and thank God for that. Two Michael Jackson's would be too hard to handle for me," I grinned and he smirked. I put my hands on his shoulders and he brought his dull eyes to mine. "Don't worry so much, okay? I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

He kissed me lightly and smiled. "I love you," he whispered. He rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes for a minute before backing away and heading for the stage. I followed soon after and watched him and my brothers dance together.

At first, he still looked tired and in pain, but after the first few songs, he loosened up alot and finally started smiling like he used to. He looked in my direction with a huge grin on his face and my heart nearly melted. I got excited when he started to sing You Rock My World. That song always had me dancing.

Near the bridge of the song, I felt someone slide beside me and kiss my cheek. I glanced over and saw Usher with a huge grin on his face.

"My lady," he bowed and I smiled.

"What are you doing here?" I smiled back.

"Helping anyway I can," he winked and slid out onto the stage. Apparently, Michael had no idea Usher was there. He glided onto the stage next to Michael and danced with him. I laughed as they had a dance off. After a minute, Chris Tucker slid out from behind me and scared me nearly to death.

"Watch yourself girl!" he grabbed my sides and I held in a scream.

I smacked his arm. "You've seriously gotta stop doing that to people."

He smiled and shrugged and then rubbed my head like a kid and ran out on stage. Michael laughed widely when he saw him slide up next to him and try to dance like him. Michael challenged him by doing the kick and Chris intentionally kicked with the wrong foot. Michael fell onto his back from laughter and my heart pounded. Finally seeing him like that made me feel like I could fly.

My phone rang shortly after and I ran outside to answer. "Hello?"

"Hey Lola...its Janet...Neveah is running a little fever and she won't stop crying. Can you come home?"

"Yea, of course. I'll be right there," I spoke quickly and snapped the phone shut. Raymone walked up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"No, Neveah's sick. I gotta get home. Tell Mike for me, okay?" he nodded and I rushed home.

I ran into the house and Janet was walking up and down the hall with my crying daughter. "Thank goodness you're here," she sighed when she saw me.

"What happened? She was just fine when I left."

"I don't know. I came in and mother looked like she was ready to pass out so I told her to go on home. After she left, Neveah just started crying and she's burning up."

I took Neveah from her and rocked her. She was running a low grade fever which didn't bother me too much. I walked into the kitchen and filled a needle-less surenge full of children's tylenol and gave it to her. She quit crying after a minute and Janet sighed.

"Why don't you go home Janet, you look exhausted."

"No it's okay, I wanna stay and..."

"No. I've got this. Thank you for your help girl, but you need to rest. I'll call you tomorrow." She smiled and kissed my cheek and Neveah's head and left. I went into my room and sat in the rocking chair. For a while, Neveah cried on and off. Her fever broke, but she still continued to cry. "Sweet angel...what is it that has you so upset? What can mommy do to help?" I cooed.

After a minute I started to sing the spanish lullaby to her and my voice cracked a little. Curse my luck for this night to be the night of a concert when I couldn't stop cheering for my husband. Neveah cried again and I groaned and paced the floor with her.

After what seemed to be an eternity, strong hands grasped my shoulders and a light kiss was felt on the back of my neck. I smiled knowing exactly who it was. "Michael..." I whispered.

"Here...let me," he took Neveah and held her up against his chest and walked over to the bed. He held her with one hand and grabbed some pillows with the other and placed them against the head board and leaned against it. He placed Neveah on his chest and opened his arm towards me. I crawled into the bed with him and layed my head on his chest next to Neveah.

"It's good to have you back, love," I whispered. He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you for not giving up on me," he whispered. I closed my eyes as he started to sing the lullaby to both me and our daughter. Pretty soon, Neveah stopped crying and we both fell into a deep sleep, both of us listening to the steady beating heart belonging to the number one man in our lives.