Disclaimer : I don't own it.
Note : This is a requested idea by Clifjumpersfangirl.
Also, I never usually put in where the lyrics/broadcasts Bumblebee uses, because they're totally random, and I couldn't place most if I wanted to. Considering all the movies, tv shows, games, and songs out there, I figure there's one that should have at least one of the lines I've used...somwehere.
IMPORTANT NOTICE : Ok, so I've gotten an idea in my head. Can't guarantee when it'll come out, but due to a lot of AMAZING reviews, requests for more 'femme mechs', and a severe caffeine/sugar overload, I have decided I'd like to attempt a........
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
MISS CYBERTRON PAGEANT!!!
-.-' ....Ok, so I was thinking of bringing in the mechs as femmes again, due to a little....motivation, and having a beauty pageant. I'm just wondering if readers would like to read something like that? Also, I wanted to mention it would be a separate fanfiction in its own, and there is no guarantee I'll be able to finish it. I've already got the first two chapters written, so far.
ALSO While I am attempting it, my writing of other stories will be a lot shorter and further between...meaning I only have a few more chapters of this story done so far, and I'm going to post them a little further apart (no longer than a few days in between) in order to space them out better.
Anywho, let me know!
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(Sam's POV)
"This is so childish." I murmured, biting my lip to keep from laughing nervously, as Bee drove us as silently as he could towards the Lennox household. "How did I even come up with it, again? And why exactly are you so eager to help me??"
The engine revved a little, before falling silent. Strangely, Bumblebee didn't even play a clip from a movie, or a song, to answer me.
I felt my eyes narrow. Does he know something I don't? "Bee?"
Message from Starfleet. The radio buzzed to life, and Bumblebee bounced a little as his excitement became tangible. Mission accomplished.
Blinking a moment, I nodded. He managed to actually spike his energon? "Anyone hurt?"
Negative, captain. Zero casualties.
"Wow, you'd think he'd get a shot in, or two. What about the Lennox's? Will's not gonna be happy with what we're about to do, so I'd rather he didn't know about it." I felt my heart pounding frantically in my chest. If Ironhide wakes up, we're dead. If Will or Sarah wake up, we're dead.
Bee gave a reassuring whistle from his engine, before falling silent as we drove up the path towards the house.
It was a dark night out, overcast and really windy. I'd been talking to Bumblebee earlier, mentioning how everyone seemed to be pulling pranks and how I wanted to get in on it all. I'd been listing different pranks, none all that original or creative, when I came upon a classic. I explained it to Bumblebee, who seemed confused, before searching it up on the internet.
When his optics widened, and he nodded frantically, I should have known something was wrong. When he immediately involved Jolt, I should have turned tail and ran.
I didn't, and here I was.
As Bee pulled to a stop, I took in Ironhide's prone figure, laying sprawled out on the ground. "Uh, Bee, what is this? When I said... We were gonna do this with his truck form, weren't we? I mean, it's gonna be harder to do it with him, uh, like this."
A small squeak reached my ears and the driver side door swung open, even as the seatbelt released itself and slid back out of the way.
Taking the hint, I climbed out of the Camaro, and walked around to where the already open trunk waited for me. I took out the large package, and set it on the ground as Bumblebee inched a foot forward and began changing. I couldn't resist watching. Even after all this time, it was still neat to watch the way all the parts and gears rearranged themselves to show Bee's true form.
Once he was standing upright, he nodded to Jolt, said something in a series of clicks and whistles, then turned to me. Now what?
I picked open the package, keeping a nervous eye out as I grabbed a roll. Then I looked at Ironhide's prone form with a frown. "How exactly-?"
My question was cut off when Jolt moved behind Ironhide and began lifting him. First he lifted the 'bot into a sitting position, then with the help of Bee, a standing one. Fiddling with something a moment, his blue optics then turn to me. "Done." He stepped back, releasing his hold on the still standing Ironhide.
I was about to duck behind Bee, certain the giant metallic body was about to fall and make me a squishy pancake, but froze when I saw him standing upright on his own. I was even more ready to run then, thinking he had regained consciousness, but seeing his optics still dark....
"I engaged his stabilizers. They will keep him upright until I disengage them. The rest is all up to you." The blue mech stepped back, even as Bumblebee lowered his massive hand for me.
I hesitated a moment, before a slow smirk crossed my features. "You know, we're so gonna be screwed when he wakes up." I climbed into Bumblebee's palm, grabbing the package as I went. As we approached Ironhide, I explained briefly to Bee what I wanted him to do.
He waited until I had attached one part of the roll to Ironhide's neck, then began to walk around Ironhide. The roll began to unravel around the metallic throat, coating it in white. Before we were even done the throat, I was out and had to grab another roll. This continued over and over, until Bumblebee began to get dizzy from circling the temporarily offlined mech. Then Jolt took me into his hand, and we continued.
We'd reached the waist line, not counting the arms, when I ran out of rolls, and turned to Jolt, rubbing my aching arms. "Well, this didn't turn out too good."
A low, quiet whistle hit my ears, and I turned to find Bumblebee standing next to what looked like half a dozen packages on the ground.
"We calculated for how much paper is on a roll, and the size of Ironhide's form. There should be more than enough there, total." Jolt informed me, even as Bumblebee carefully passed me another package, taking the one with the empty cardboard rolls inside.
I nodded a little, pushing aside my pain when I ripped open the second bag and got back to work.
It took a lot longer than I had anticipated, as I was expecting to work with a black GMC Topkick, not a twenty-something foot tall robot, but we managed to get his entire body coated in paper. Even his canons, except where the blast would occur, were covered.
What was formerly a black 'bot, was now a white 'bot.
With a snicker, I groaned a little as Bumblebee transformed, and Jolt passed me to the ground.
"You are in pain, Sam." There was a cycling of vents. "Why didn't you simply ask us to help?"
"You were helping." I pointed out, sagging gratefully into the warmed seats within the Camaro, and relaxing against them, even as they vibrated under me a little, relaxing tensed muscles. I groaned again, this time happily. "Oh man, thanks Bee, I needed that."
"Here. Take these."
Opening my eyes, I took a bottle of pills from Jolt's hand, as well as a small bottle of water. Huh, advil. Ratchet's teaching him well. I took two of the pills and sighed as I handed him back the pill bottle, keeping the open water bottle with me. "Alright, everyone. Time to head back and wait for the call."
Jolt nodded, smirking at Ironhide's prone form before transforming and taking off. Bumblebee was hot on his heels. It wasn't long before we arrived back at my house, and I was changed and sinking happily into my soft sheets of my bed.
(Next Morning)
"ARRAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
With a startled shriek -yes, shriek- I jumped out of bed, as the inhuman scream echoed through the neighborhood. Looking around wildly, I jumped to my window and looked out just in time to see my Camaro drive out of the garage on it's own, it's lights flashing as it sank down on it's axles and seemed to pause.
He's not in robot form, so that's....gotta be a good sign.
I blinked then, as Bee began to shake wildly and quickly backpedalled right back into the garage again, as metallic laughter choked up audibly from his still damaged vocal processors.
I watched as people began to emerge from houses, looking around in confusion. Then I heard a knock on my door.
"Just a sec!" I called, turning and going to the door. Opening it, I found mom carrying a baseball bat, and dad staring at me with suspicious eyes. "Yes?"
"Do you have a girl in there?"
I blinked again, and frowned. "Do I...? What? No!"
"I heard a girl's shriek, Samuel James Witwicky."
Feeling my eyes widen, I ducked my head as my cheeks flamed. Opening the door, I let my parents inside and let them look around. "See a girl, anywhere?" I shot back, trying not to hunch up even more into myself. Great. Just what I needed.
Just then my phone beeped, and I almost ran over to check it out.
Time to go, sunshine. Lennox is calling - B
"I gotta go, but I gotta get dressed first." It took a lot of reassuring my parents, that I didn't have a girl in here, and even telling them the scream they'd heard was me, to get them to leave. They didn't look like they believed me, but reluctantly left and allowed me to get changed.
The entire drive to the Lennox Household was spent with me wondering what had caused that inhuman screech.
(Lennox Household)
When we finally pulled up, I found a scene straight out of a horror movie.
Autobots were gathered around, most laughing, but a few upset or confused. Annabelle was screaming and crying in her mother's arms, while Will eyed the 'bots suspiciously, as if looking for something.
With all the Autobots crowded close together, I couldn't make out what they were all staring at. Suddenly, it all came rushing back.
"Hold still, Ironhide!"
"Get this fragging stuff off me!"
"Language!"
I hopped out of Bumblebee, and he swiftly transformed, before lifting me onto a shoulder. He managed, somehow, to work his way through the throng of 'bots, and then seemed to stutter with enormous optics.
Seeing the scene before me, I froze as well.
Ironhide was standing stiffly, still covered in toilet paper. Unfortunately, it had turned more into paper mache overnight, somehow. Then there was the fact that the paper was no longer white, and had even attracted twigs and stones to it. He really did look like a giant mummy with a metallic face.
Bumblebee began shaking, and when I looked, he was laughing, though one hand covered his mouth and he seemed to be trying to hide it.
It suddenly dawned on me what happened. The wet grass, which I was only now noticing. The way water dropped from the trees... The wind from last night, and the unusually dark night. "It rained." I whispered to myself. Half glaring at Bumblebee, I raised an eyebrow. "Tell me, Bee, did you know this was gonna happen?" I was whispering, hoping none of the mechs would be listening.
He shook his head, but a quiet snicker beside me had me turning.
"I did." Jolt winked at me.
"Oh, crap." I hissed. Goodbye, quick painless death, and hellow slow painful hell.
Looking to Ironhide, I watched as he tried to take a step forward, but his legs wouldn't bend. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, watching him waddle stiffly a little, before Ratchet pulled him back.
"Stop moving about! You're only going to make this worse!"
"When I find the slagger-"
"Language, Ironhide!!" Sarah warned in a quiet but deadly tone.
"-who did this, they're gonna pay, dearly." Blue optics flashed crimson, briefly.
I swallowed nervously, but it choked out in a laugh when he tried to raise his arms, only to find they wouldn't bend either. He tried to walk, with his arms out in front of him, and let out a low groan.
Annabelle squealed and hugged her mother tighter. "Mummy."
"Yes, sweetheart?" Sarah cooed, rubbing the long blonde locks of her little girl gently.
Shaking her head, Anna pointed to Ironhide. "Mummy."
Several Autobots snickered.
"Look at that, the little sparkling thinks Ironhide's her femme creator." Sideswipe snickered, earning him a glare.
It was Mikaela, sitting on Jolt's shoulder, who shook her head and spoke up. "Not 'mommy', Sides. 'Mummy." When the Autobots shot her a confused look, she sighed, even though she wore a grin on her face the entire time. "As in undead, bandaged wrapped human corpse. There are horror movies where mummies come to life and..." She shot a look down at little Annabelle and trailed off. "Well, yeah. Just look it up."
Several pairs of optics went dim, and moments later several Autobots were doubled over laughing.
Ratchet cycled his vents. "This isn't funny. It's going to take forever to get all this off." He peeled a long strip off, wincing a little, and then trying to pick off tiny pieces.
Annabelle squealed again, burying her face in Sarah's hair and shaking a little.
Seeing that, Ironhide's face softened and he seemed to sigh a little sadly, before the glower was abruptly back. "I will find who did this to me. I vow it."
I exchanged a look with Bumblebee and Jolt, and when no one was looking, we slowly edged away. We were a few feet away, and the 'bots had transformed, when Mikaela opened her mouth.
Immediately, I put my hand over her mouth, and made a 'shush' motion, pleading with her with my eyes to stay quiet. Her eyes narrowed before widening in realization. A look passed her eyes, but was gone before I could recognize it, and she nodded.
I removed my hand from her mouth, and she climbed into Bee's passenger seat. I was just climbing into Bee's driver side when Ratchet doomed us all.
"Oh, yes, Jolt? How did that sedative work, that you asked for last night. You were more awake this morning than I was expecting."
Ironhide's optics widened. "Jolt? He was here...last...night." Optics slowly darkened and flashed red, even as a squealing of tires was heard and Jolt took off at a speed that would make Blur look slow. "Come back here, you slagging-"
"LANGUAGE!"
Ironhide winced, but tried to chase after Jolt. That's when Bumblebee took off, and as we looked out his windows, we could see Ironhide waddling after us, looking for all the world like a mummy.
I couldn't help it. Despite fearing for my life, I couldn't help but laugh at how he looked. "Well, I guess I now know what that scream was, this morning."
Mikaela winced. "I'd be surprised if all of Tranquility didn't hear it." And considering the Lennox household was a good distance outside of Tranquility...
I laughed again, and nodded. "Oh we did. We did."
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Hope you like it.
R+R please.
Thank you.
Tenshi
