Disclaimer : I don't own it.

Note : Totally random idea. I was reading a chapter of hummergrey's 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following' when one thing caught my attention. It was a simple thing really, just someone mentioning 'hanging off a ceiling'. I may have that worded wrong, but it brought this idea to mind.

Note 2 : OMG! Sunstreaker lives in my town! *Squeals like a rabid fangirl!* OMG! Errr...OMP! :o This is like the third time this month I've seen the same yellow Corvette. :D And he's like the spitting image of Sideswipe (movie Sides) only in yellow! XD *dies*

Wolf Mystic - I'm going to have his girlish scream stuck in my head for ages! LOL

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(Wheeljack's POV)

I could feel my optics narrowing as I took in the screen before me. Cartoons... How is this entertaining? Next to me, the humans whispered amongst themselves, occasionally laughing at something they saw. I never really understood their....entertainment. Then again, a lot about this planet served only to confuse me.

Then, a new image popped up, and I only just barely managed to keep from jumping up in excitement as it immediately illicited an idea. As it was, I felt my optics widen and my fingers twitch.

"That's just...wrong." Mikaela murmured as she leaned into her husband's arm, pecking his cheek and giggling at the screen.

Perhaps...not so much. I took in what one 'character' was doing, and immediately mathematical equasions began popping into my processors. It might be easier done than said... I frowned a moment. Or was that backwards? Shaking my head, I remained silent as I watched the mostly confusing 'movie' the humans had insisted upon. It was a strange habit, I admitted quietly, but it did seem to have it's purposes.

As the movie ended, I watched as Mikaela and Samuel Witwicky crawled into Bumblebee's waiting hand, and then exited the room. William and Sarah Lennox were not too far behind, following their example while carefully shifting Annabelle so she wouldn't be jostled. I watched fondly as Ironhide's optics softened towards the fleshy sparkling.

Mechs and femmes split up, but I remained in the room, leaning against the wall as I regarded the mechs who remained behind, not having anything important to do. I was only half aware of them, however, as my processors began drawing detailed schematics of what I wanted. The more I thought about it, the easier it seemed.

Before long, I had the plans drawn up, ready to be initialized. I only needed the materials, and... As my optics landed on the 'Vette Twins', as the humans like to call them, wrestling around and cursing at each other in Cybertronian.

And willing subjects... My optics narrowed as I pushed off the wall and began walking towards them.

The risk factor was weighed, and considering the nature of my soon-to-be experiment, it was surprisingly small. A small part of my processor wondered about the dangers, if this experiment backfired, but as I saw no real disastrous outcome, I smirked as I approached, putting a hand on each twins' shoulder to get their attention.

(Later)

"Why did we agree to this again?" Sunstreaker groaned, carrying a load of tools into my workshop. He uncerimoniously dropped them on an empty table, then looked down at himself, seemingly examining his body. "If I scratched my paint-"

"You didn't agree." Sideswipe shot, swinging his legs a little as he sat impatiently on an otherwise unoccupied berth, shooting me a wary look. He'd removed all his shiny silver armor, leaving him basically nude in his protoform, and he shivered a little. "You must be outta your mind, agreeing to help."

"Says the currently nekkie Autobot allowing Wheeljack to experiment on you." Sunstreaker shot back. When both his brother and myself gave him confused looks, he raised an optic ridge. "What?"

Sideswipe snickered a little, before jolting a little. "Watch your hands!" He hissed, swatting at me half heartedly. He turned back to his brother. "'Nekkie'??"

Sunstreaker blinked, then leaned to the side a little, folding his arms over his chest. "It's a human slang for naked. As you're in nothing but your protoform, you're currently one nekkie 'bot."

"Riiiiiight-Ahh! 'Jack!"

I jumped back and swatted Sideswipe's hand out of the way, before glaring at him. "Hold still, or I might accidentally fuse the wrong wires!" He froze, his optics going wide. "I told you this is a delicate procedure."

"Doesn't feel all that delicate."

Wheelie, uh...wheeled around the corner at that moment, and smirked. "That's what she said!" He called, clapping his little hands together. "Do I wanna know? Warrior Goddess said you guys were actin' kinda suspicious."

"Get lost, glitch." Sunstreaker stomped in the general direction of the little blue former 'con, before turning his attention back to the matter at hand. "Wheeljack got an idea. Enough said."

Wheelie glared at the much larger yellow 'bot, but seemed to have long since grown a better sense of self preservation, and for the sake of his spark, chose to remain quiet. He did, however, wheel back out, no doubt intending to warn Mikaela to stay away from this portion of the base. It no longer bothered me, as I admittedly made a lot of mistakes in my experiments.

That thought in mind, I mentally went over the plans again, as I began working once again on Sideswipe's wiring. I picked up a small canister and inserted it in a small slot, welding it into place, before attaching wires to it, and making sure the connections travelled properly all the way up his arms.

"Are you done yet?" Sunstreaker inquired in a bored voice.

Raising an optic ridge, I resisted the urge to cycle my vents. "Not yet." I kept working.

A few minutes passed.

"Are you done yet?" Sideswipe spoke up, hissing a little as I accidentally pulled on some sensitive wires.

"Not yet." I felt my optics narrow, hearing a snicker behind me.

A few more minutes passed.

"Are you-"

"Keep asking and I'll make sure I wire something backwards." I warned, glaring at Sideswipe, although it had been Sunstreaker to speak. "If you like having free motion range in this arm, I suggest you quiet down." Seeing the look in his optics, I went back to work, knowing not even Sunstreaker would speak up again, fearing for his brother's safety.

Once I was satisfied with the results, I nodded and stepped back. "Alright. Time to test it out."

(That Evening)

The humans were gathered for their daily third meal, called 'dinner', or 'supper', depending on the person asked. I was there as well as a few other mechs, watching over our charges as they spoke lightly and laughed amongst themselves.

Suddenly, Mikaela tilted her head back, laughing at something her husband had said, but startling the entire group with a shrill screech.

Everyone looked around wildly, raising their weapons and keeping a wary optic out for the source of her fright. Slowly, several humans and mechs all looked up, eyes and optics going wide.

I followed their gaze and smirked to see the successful use of my experiment.

"Sideswipe?! What the pit are you-How'd you get up there??" Ironhide was staring with wide optics, his cannons powering down but remaining at the ready.

"It was Wheeljack." Sunstreaker spoke from the door. "One of his experiments." He shrugged a little, before looking up with a thoughtful gaze.

Several Autobots turned to me a moment, obviously curious, but then returned their attention to the 'bot on the ceiling.

Everyone was watching as Sideswipe effortlessly crawled around on the ceiling. He flung one wrist out, and laughed as Wheelie, with a startled yelp, was plastered to the wall behind him with what appeared to be webbing. "I'm not Sideswipe!" The silver and black mech grinned and turned so he was resting with his back to the ceiling, facing everyone below him. "It's Spider Mech!"

"Damn!" Sam whistled lowly, a smirk making it's way across his face. "I think someone's suffering from an identity crisis." He looked down at his now giggling wife. "Static Mech, and now Spider Mech?"

"What's next, Super Mech?" Mikaela agreed, gigglnig again.

"Spider mech, spider mech." Will busted up laughing. "Does....whatever a spider mech does!" He doubled over, and moved safely out from underneath the ceiling-bound mech. He gently picked up Annabelle and helped Sarah to her feet before moving them as well.

"Can he swing, from a web?" Epps added.

I felt my optics go wide when a truly inspired look crossed Sideswipe's facial plates. I saw him eye the far side of the room a moment, before lifting a hand. Uh-oh! "Sideswipe, no!"

It was too late.

With a fling of his wrist, Sideswipe shot out a string of webbing. It stuck to the far corner of the ceiling, and he tugged lightly on it before letting go of the ceiling.

Everyone watched, quickly moving out from underneath the mech, even as he laughed and swung down and forward. They grabbed those not moving, and almost raced behind the other standng mechs as Sideswipe attempted to try the theory out.

Suddenly, the webbing snapped, and with a startled cry, he was sent careening into the opposite wall with a loud crash. Luckily, he didn't break the wall, but he did let out a pained groan as he slowly slid down it, only to topple over backwards and lay twitching on the floor.

Everyone stared in shock as Ratchet cursed and ran over to check on him. Then, as if a massive roar was let out, all the humans and half the mechs began laughing. Even Will and Robert were leaning against each other, laughing so hard they had to support each other from falling over.

Casting them a glance, Mikaela raised an eyebrow. "Can he swing, from a web?"

"No he can't, he's a mech." Sam finished, doubling over in a fit of laughter.

"Watch out, there goes the spider mech!" Will finished, backing up and leaning against the wall as he laughed.

One thing was for certain, no one wanted to be a fly on that wall.

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Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi