Disclaimer : I don't own it.

Note : This chapter was requested by Darklight8121 who got the idea from hummergrey's 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following', Chapter 40. Most of the lines from the liason, and the twins (and later, Optimus, Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide) were taken directly from the other fic, so I don't own them. I don't own the scene, it was the idea of hummergrey.

Huh, you know, I think 'I don't own it' covered all that. LOL.

Also, this might be the only chapter update this week. I'm sick with a stubborn cold (though my teas are keeping it from getting worse at the moment), and because of Thanksgiving, my schedule is all messed up, so I'm not home on a stable connection all week.

On the upside, I'm working on a special Halloween chapter, a prank, and hopefully will have that up soon.

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(Normal POV)

Rule # 139 : Do not assist in the removal, capture or relocation of wild animals from Diego Garcia or other NEST sites, back to their native habitat. Let human Fish and Game, or Wildlife experts handle the situation. Liasons, Budget Personelle, Congressional Aides, and the Witwicky dogs are not classified as Wild Animals. - Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Skids, Mudflap and Hound.

Sunstreaker barely seemed to bite back a growl as he watched the overweight human male practically inhale a burger dripping in disgusting grease. 'Who is this human, and why are we stuck with him?!' Grease dripped into the plastic wrapper on the man's lap, and Sunstreaker swallowed heavily, trying not to gag.

'A budget reviewer, an over eater, and our punishment for letting Major Lennox get caught in our last prank.' Sideswipe shuddered a little as the man took another massive bite, using a napkin to wipe at the sweat beading on his face. Eww. The napkin had grease on it already, from wiping up the mess on the man's face. Instead of wiping his forehead, he only seemed to be shining it.

Dropping the used wrapper on the ground, the man took a fresh one out of the bag and began eating again. The locals seemed to be used to the rude, disgusting behavior of the man, ignoring him even as they openly ogled the twin Corvettes. They, the twins that is, had been informed of his identity that morning, but neither twin had listened, until Optimus assigned them temporary guardianship over him.

Flashback

"You will accompany him off the island, to the main research storage facility on the mainland, and carry him and the appropriate files back here without incident or injury."

End Flashback

Neither twin had argued simply because the brig was still being repaired from Ratchet's break out, earlier, and with the Fall rains coming, being locked outside in their alternate modes meant for a lousy recharge time.

'It was supposed to be Sam, not Lennox, who triggered it.' Sunstreaker sulked, briefly contemplating how much trouble he'd be in if he suddenly reversed, leaving the human to fall over instead of leaning on him.

Sideswipe shuddered again, but this time for a totally different reason. 'Count your energon chips that Prime and Bumblebee never find that out.' He cycled his vents quietly. 'Since Sam's accident, they are worse than over wired femmes on protecting him. Lennox was bad enough. Worse, his sparkmate, Sarah Lennox, arrives next week and has promised to deal with us personally upon arrival.'

Snorting internally, Sunstreaker kept his optics on the dripping grease, less than six inches from his hood. 'I'd rather her than this slob. He's wearing as much as his lip plates are pulling in.' He watched in disgust as the budget reviewer wiped hastily at his face, before picking at one of multiple grease and condiment stains on his shirt. 'We can't transform here, either. Too many humans to see.' That would have taken care of the problem. The nameless man wouldn't dare refuse them allowance to transform, and if they were in their bipedal forms, he couldn't very well lean against their hoods. 'Public fountain anywhere in optic range?'

Sideswipe noticed how much grease was all over the man's face, and noted with relief none was on Sunstreaker's hood. At least the man had the wits around him not to mess up the paint job of the psychotic yellow Corvette.

The man wiped his face for probably the twentieth time, before beginning to speak, with his mouth still full. "Smart beings, you both are." He wiped at a chunk of burger that splattered onto his shirt, absently. "Heard you pull pranks." Chubby, slimy lip plates pulled up into a smirk, as he finally swallowed his food and took a massive drink of his soda, belching when he was done.

"Got kicked off the island, but I understand." He ripped open another ketchup packet and squeezed the ketchup onto the open wrapper of the second demolished burger, sliding fries through it and practically swallowing them whole. "First job was working six months at a McGreasy Burger joint."

That explains the massive buddah-belly and his infinity with the pit-slagged things. Sideswipe sank down on his axles, thanking Primus the budget reviewer was leaning against his brother, and not him.

"Learned a valuable lesson I have followed ever since." The man took another pull of his drink, before finishing off his fries and tossing the second used wrapper aside, grabbing a final one from the bag at his side and opening it to reveal yet another burger.

Does he ever stop?! 'If he keeps eating, he's gonna turn into an earth mammal known as a whale, or explode!' It took everything Sunstreaker had not to growl, or take off then and there to blast the pit out of some random distant mountain range.

Sideswipe smirked. 'Thar she blows!' He called, earning a hint of a snicker from his brother.

"Hard work and patience gets you ahead?" Sunstreaker verbally asked, returning his attention to the grease ball who somehow managed not to slide off his hood. He probably shouldn't have spoken out loud, in case random civilians heard him, but the budget reviewer was really starting to get on his nerves, and he really couldn't care less at the moment.

Shaking his head, the man belched again, before looking around them like he was checking out the area. "Take a job where you advance by hopping over someone else, or turning him or her in to be fired. Still eat the Maximus McGreasy with extra sauce-"

'Is that what that slag is??' Sideswipe complained, eyeing the unnnamed stains on the man's shirt.

"Doc tells me to cut back, says I'm taking off the last ten years of my life." The man continued, completely unaware of the wandering attentions of the twin Corvettes. "However, the last ten years are the worst, anyways. Who wants them?" He sat the burger in its greasy wrapper, before plopping said wrapper on the hood of the yellow Corvette, ignoring or perhaps just not noticing the growl of the engine and the way the surface trembled minutely.

"You two, you understand that principal." He leered at a couple of young women who ignored him but eyed the Corvettes appreciatively, before he took another long drink of his soda. "Moving up quickly by kicking others down. They think you have their back." He picked up his burger and finished it in two bites, crumbling the wrapper when he was done. "Only they are your next target."

The engines of both Corvettes rumbled angrily, but he paid them no heed as he resumed stuffing his face.

'Is that what he thinks of us??' Sunstreaker growled quietly, reconsidering reversing and letting the budget review fall flat on his generous aft. Especially when he saw the horrid grease stain left behind on his hood. 'I might just dump him in the bay. Primus knows he could use the clean up.'

Sideswipe, ever the fairer bot, stretched a hint, before settling back down. 'Our pranks might seem that way to an outsider, and we probably haven't been the best team mates lately.'

'We're the best on the battle field!' His twin argued.

Raising a hidden optic ridge, Sideswipe cycled his vents. 'And when not fighting? In the brig or fighting with the others?'

Letting out a long, low belch, the budget reviewer began collecting the used, crumpled wrappers and tossed them into the empty bag, before finishing off his drink and tossing the container in there as well. He absenly brushed at his clothing, before grabbing the bag, waddling over to the trash can and tossing it, before returning.

"A few more years and you could be like me." He smirked as he climbed into a very reluctant Sunstreaker, failing to notice the ketchup on his hands until he was inside, and then simply licking it off.

Both twins immediately imagined themselves with hefty stomachs, chugging massive amounts of energon, sitting on their ever enlarging afts and discussing reports. Both twins shuddered violently.

He didn't seem to notice. "Head of the department, with power and fear and no one around to bug you." He patted the dash with a leer. "I'm going to request you the entire week I am here. Help me to remember the good old days."

'Primus, no! I'd rather watch Megatron pole dancing!' Sideswipe's optics widened and he nearly swerved into an oncoming dump truck. Purposely.

Sunstreaker's own optics narrowed as the last words of the man hit him. So... He wants to experience the 'good old days', does he? With a smirk forming over his lip plates, he immediately began planning.

(The Base, That Night)

Driving down the hall, the twins carefully side-stepped-err drove around the sleepy, grumbling soldiers and civilians milling around. For a moment, they were almost concerned as to why so many humans were awake that time of night, but then the horrendous sounds started up, and both twins found themselves transforming quickly, raising their blades and looking around warily.

"What the slag is that?" Sunstreaker growled lowly.

Will staggered up to the mechs with clear exhaustion and sighed loudly. "Budget reviewer."

"What the slag is he doing?!" The yellow twin's optics narrowed in confusion.

"Snoring." Waving a little, Will continued on, clearing the halls with the last of the humans.

Turning to his brother, Sunstreaker raised an optic ridge, even as he lowered his weapon. ".....What the slag is 'snoring'??"

Sideswipe's optics went dim a moment, obviously looking it up. With a snort, he sent the data burst to his brother, whose optics narrowed dangerously, even as his lip plates trembled minutely. "We really need to do something about this. Lack of sleep is detrimental to human health." He paused a moment and frowned. "I've been locked up with Ratchet too long."

Sunstreaker nodded with a snicker, chosing to remain quiet about how much he agreed with his twin, on the part about spending too much time with Ratchet. "So, shall we?"

The twin terrors transformed once again, activating their holoforms as they drove to the budget reviewer's room. They 'parked' outside the door, while the holographic boys left the Corvettes and snuck into the room. Then they paused as a loud snore echoed through the room.

'Isn't there a human saying about something to do with snoring, and buzz saws or chain saws or something?' Sideswipe smirked, pushing his light blonde hair out of his face as he snuck over to the bed side.

'I have better things to do than to look it up.' Sunstreaker rolled his eyes and snuck over, hastily pulling the sheet down.

A loud....grumbling roar echoed through the room, making both bots freeze, before they realized he was still snoring. They exchanged a look, and set to work, stripping the man down to his underwear, and looking for all the world like they were planning on having Ratchet scrub their processors clean with hydrochloric acid after. Once the man was left in his undies, they lifted him, pausing with wide eyes when something seemed to crack in Sunny's back.

'Good thing I'm not human, or I'd be dead.' His eyes narrowed, and he boosted the strength of his hologram, hefting the heavy man up and leading the way to their parked forms, settling him into the driver's seat of the silver Corvette. Once that was done, he cracked his back again, and sighed in relief.

Sideswipe raised an eyebrow, smirking as he vanished into thin air.

Then the twins hightailed it out of the base, as silently as they could. They made their way to the nearest McGreasy Burger joint, snickering and amazed that the reviewer never woke once, and then got him out. He only shifted when they set him on the ground to transform, then he was hefted again, and both bots got to work on the security system, overriding the alarms, unlocking the doors, and getting him inside.

They looked around a moment, before Sideswipe led the way to a large dining table more or less in the middle of the room. Of course, they were using their holographic forms inside, not wanting the security cameras to catch their true forms. Together, they plopped the heavy set man on it and watched as he rolled onto his side and curled up, still sleeping away. Then they took off and set up a hack into the security camera systems, making sure they got a copy of what would happen when he woke up.

(Later the Next Day)

Prowl was steaming. Almost literally. The normally stoic second in command had his arms folded over his chest, and the narrowed optics showed his displeasure. Ok, ok, he was pissed. There was no doubt he knew what happened, especially with copies of the results circulating through the base. There were also several things he could have said, but instead, he settled on a single word.

"Why?"

Sunstreaker sneered in disgust. "He left greasy fingerprints down my hood, and ketchup on my door!"

"That still doesn't mean you can kidnap him from his bed and drug him!" Prowl's voice began to rise, along with his internal temperatures.

Behind him, Optimus' optics were dim as he once again reviewed the tape. The man appeared to be sleeping peacefully on the center of one of the tables in the restaurant, until about 6:35am when the first worker arrived. However, unlike he expected, the worker didn't actually scream. They just stood there, staring at the stranger. It was about 6:43am when he rolled a little too far and fell off the table, to bounce on the floor, that the worker screamed, and he awoke.

The rather high pitched scream that came from his throat was expected, and Optimus watched as the budget reviewer realized he was almost naked, and struggled to cover himself. The only problem was, because of the size of his stomach, he was unable to get his hands down far enough to cover anything.

The battle mask slid over his face, before the expected smirk made itself known.

"We didn't drug him." Sideswipe corrected with a frown.

Sunstreaker snorted inelegantly. "He sleeps like a mech overdosed on old grade, star strap energon. A 'Con attack wouldn't wake him, though his snoring woke half the base." And Will would confirm that, too.

Prowl didn't seem to be listening, and continued on, his voice getting even louder, until he was almost shouting at the top of his lungs. "Strip him down to his underwear, and dump him in a fast food restaurant at four o'clock in the morning."

Two hours. Optimus mentally calculated. It's truly amazing he didn't wake once.

"What did you think you were doing??" Prowl finally finished.

The twins exchanged a look before shrugging. "Returning him to his native environment?" 'At least we decided not to 'debrief' him.' He added with an internal snicker, watching as Sunstreaker's optics widened in disgusted horror, before the twin managed to mask his expression.

With a sigh, Optimus shook his head a little, knowing that although no one was hurt, someone could have been. "The end result was reckless and endangering to a human life assigned to our care. Have you anything to say?"

They exchanged another look, before seemingly perking up with great interest.

"Whatever it is, we accept full responsibility for our actions!" Sunstreaker eagerly spoke, willing to take even the cold rainy seasonal weather, than be stuck as that guy's ride for a week.

Sideswipe nodded just as eagerly, looking at the two mechs in front of him. "We will abide by your judgement. We've earned it. You have always been fair, more than any other commander would have." He lavished on the praise, watching as both bots in front of them stared in open shock.

Prowl blinked a moment. They...want their punishment? He tried to analyse it, but his systems crashed with a loud pop, and he offlined, toppling over and into the shell shocked Optimus, who quickly caught him.

Optimus just stared, waiting to find out what the 'strings' were, so to speak. He wanted to know what catch the twins would pose on them, but when nothing seemed forth coming, he finally frowned.

Autobot Emergency Frequency

'The twins have glitched! Main Autobot hangar!' Ironhide's optics were perhaps the widest, and he kept a close, wary eye on Will, who was watching the scene with equal amounts of shock.

'Now what?' Maybe Ratchet didn't catch the desperate shock in Ironhide's voice, because he sounded bored.

'Twins pulled a prank.' Optimus decided to keep briefing short and to the point. 'Accepting full responsibility and not objecting to their punishment.'

The line went quiet for a frighteningly long time, and Optimus began to wonder if even Ratchet glitched and offlined at the news. Then the medic's voice came through, just as urgent as Ironhide's was earlier.

Evacuate the humans. Make no sudden movements, or approach, or make physical contact. I'm on my way!'

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Note : Ok, if I had to guess, I'd say about 90% of this chapter is hummergrey's idea, just with a little more on personal thought, and the prank added in. You should read it, I LMAO a lot while reading it, and it's got more of a plot than mine! :)

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi