Chapter 6 – What's that mother?

"Master, someone is coming in…it's the boss!"

"Master Lucien, forgive me. I have been neglecting my duties as host, my name is Mathieu Bellamont and this is my Mother."

"Eh?….Oh right! Your Mother, yes I can see the resemblance."

"But Master, he's just holding a decapitated hea….."

"Yes, yes, thank you Teineeva. You'll have to forgive him Mr. Bellamont, he's got leprosy."

"Leprosy?"

"Of the brain!"

"Regardless, Master Lucien. I hope the you will accept my apologies for the inconvenience."

"I accept nothing from a man who imprisons his guests in a commode."

"I hope my Nord scum didn't inconvenience you?"

"It takes more than a platoon of battle-axe wielding Nord marauders to inconvenience me!"

"Good, Master Lucien. If they did inconvenience you I was going to offer you their tongues."

"Believe me, Sir. If they did inconvenience me, you would not have a tongue with which to make such an offer."

"Let me assure you, Master Lucien. If I no longer had a tongue with which to make such an offer, you would no longer have a tongue with which to tell me that, if I had inconvenienced you, I would no longer have a tongue with which to offer you their tongues."

"Yes…well, uh….what in the name of Sithis do you want?"

"You do not remember me then, Master Lucien?"

"We've met before? I don't believe I've had the pleasure."

"On the contrary. We have met many times, although you knew me by another name. Do you recall a mysterious black marketeer and smuggler called Hauls Ropes Faster with whom you used to dine and plot and play the biscuit game in The Fo'c's'le?"

"Sweet Sithis."

"Yes! I was the tavern wench."

"I don't believe it! You? Mirabelle Monet."

"Will you have another round of mead, My Lord?"

"….but….but, I went to bed with you, didn't I?

"For my Mother, I am willing to make any sacrifice, Master Lucien."

"Yes, but I'm not…eh…I must have been paralytic."

"Indeed you were, Mr. Floppy."

"Yes, alright, alright. Now would you mind…"

"Such a disappointment for a girl…"

"Yes, alright, you've had your little joke Bellamont."

"It really doesn't matter, we'll try again in a few minutes. Have a look through these naughty parchments."

"Oh, yes, we are proud of our comic-serving wench voice, aren't we Bellamont?"

"BE SILENT! And as for you, my little Argonian friend, I'm glad you're snickering at your Master because I'm glad to meet you again, too."

"I don't believe we've had…."

"You don't recognise me then, Teineeva?"

"No…"

"Let me refresh your memory. You remember when you used to travel past Weynon Priory, there was an old shepherd with whom you used to talk."

"Sweet Sithis….Eronor?"

"Yes! I was one of his sheep, Teineeva!"

"One of his sheep? Not…?"

"Yes!"

"Snowy?"

"Yes!"

"But didn't we…?"

"Yes, Teineeva! BBBAAAAA!"

"Oh my…."

"But enough of such reminiscences, eh? Mother and I are not interested in the past, we're only interested in what's to come."

"Perhaps a lobotomy of some sorts is in order?"

"Laugh now LaChance because you won't be able to do it later, Mother and I will leave you now but think on this while we're gone. I want the Night-Mother's location and if you don't give me what I want, we're going to chop your heads off!"

5 MINUTES LATER

"What say you, Master. How about I sing a song to keep our spirits up?"

"That all depends on whether you want the slop bucket on your head or not, Teineeva."

"Well then, Master, perhaps a pleasant word game?"

"Yes, alright child. Make a sentence out of the following words: face, sodding, your, shut."

"For Sithis sake, Master. Shall I never see Tamriel again? Her rolling fields, her glistening lakes…."

"Her playful sheep, Teineeva?"

"Eh…yes, well….I, erm…."

"Never mind, child. Never mind, lets focus our attention on getting out of here, shall we?"

"What's all the commotion outside?"

"It sounds like a battle, I can hear the marauders screaming. By Sithis, they're panicking."

"What's happening now, Master?"

"They're running away, child. I can see them climbing a ladder to the outside, all of them are throwing their weapons and armour to the ground and fleeing"

"What could make a dozen marauders run away, Master?"

"I don't know child, I can't quite see from inside the cell but there's someone or something coming down the corridor towards us."

"Who, Master? Is it our Brothers come to rescue us?"

"No, child. I can just about see a shadow, it's just one person. It's quite a small shadow actually!"

"What?! A small shadow means a small person doesn't it? What kind of a saviour could make a dozen, battle-hardened Nord marauders run away in panic without a fight?"

"Oh, dear Sithis no."

"Who is it Master?"

"No, no, no, no….please no, sweet Sithis….it can't be, it just can't."

"Who is it?"

"Ssshhussssh, he might not find us."

"…….."

"…….."

"…….."

"…….."

"Golly!"