Disclaimer : I don't own it.

Note : I have so many chapters done at the moment (well, 5), and I don't know which one to post first. LMAO. Guess I'll go with this one. I will tell you what's coming up though...

Seriously Mass Prank - Thriller

Megatron - I Will Survive

Ratchet - Bah Humbug

Prowl - Snapped.

Oh, and you know you have it bad when you dream of there being an Autobot/Decepticon fight in your town, but Megatron disappears and you help Optimus look for him only to realize.... Said leader of the Decepticons is doing a pole dance on the top of one of the nearby buildings. *Falls over laughing hysterically* Oh my Primus, what a dream! ROFLMFAO!

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(Sam's POV)

Raising an eyebrow, I turned and watched as the newest femme walked down the hall. She was taller than the others, leaner and walking with more regalty and inner strength than the others. She was bright pink, and she almost sauntered past Optimus Prime, who's eyes followed her almost longingly. I saw her stiffen up minutely, and the way her optics shot to him before she continued past.

It was subtle, and anyone not paying attention would have missed it. Hell, even anyone paying attention could have missed it! It was just with all my time spent around the Autobots that I'd learned to pick up on the faintest of things. I saw the way her shoulder hunched, the way her steps faltered. I saw the look she shot Optimus, as their optics locked, and I knew what was going on.

When Mikaela and I had been separated for one college semester, we were so awkward around each other after we were reunited. We didn't know what to say or do, and although we really missed each other, we were unsure of...well, anything.

Hm... I watched as Prowl gave them both a knowing look, before turning and walking right into a pile of red and green streamers hanging from the door frame, cursing in Cybertronian as he immediately got tangled, and a laughing Optimus and Elita struggled to free him. I.... Watching as they freed him and seemed to stare at each other a long moment, I turned and walked off. Have an idea, but I'm going to need some help.

I marched off, thinking about what I wanted to do. It seemed simple enough, but there were always complications. I'd definitely need Mikeala's help, and maybe Ratchet as well.

(Med Bay)

The lucky thing was the two very people I was looking for could both be found in the same place. With Mikeala being taught under Ratchet, she was more often than not found in the med bay with him.

As I entered the room, I saw him sitting on the berth, 'Keala perched on his knee as he spoke to her. As I entered, they both paused and looked my way, smiling and returning my wave before Ratchet carefully helped Mikaela up and lowered her to the floor.

I hugged her tightly and kissed her tenderly. "Hey gorgeous." She smiled my favorite smile, and it almost felt like time stood still. Then I remembered my idea. "Hey, wanna help me get another pair of lovers together?" When she raised an eyebrow, I explained. "Remember Elita's arrival? It still looks like she and Optimus are pretty awkward together."

"You'd think they'd be over that by now." Ratchet rolled his optics, kneeling on the ground next to us. "They've been sparkmated for ages, and they're both well into their...adult years."

"So?" I frowned a little. "They've also been away from each other for ages."

"It doesn't matter." Shaking his head, Ratchet sighed. "They can sense each other's emotions. Or, rather..." Slowly, his optics narrowed. "They could. Elita sustained some damage in her flight from Cybertron." He cursed. "She still can't sense him, and that's probably what's got them so awkward."

"So....we should do something about it." I could see the wary looks on their faces and sighed. "Oh, relax. It's simple and I promise it's harmless. Here's what we do." Leaning forward a little, I began to explain the plan. At first Ratchet looked lost.....

Actually, at no point during the explanation did he ever seem to get it, but considering Mikeala's eerie eagerness to help me out once she heard, he agreed to help readily enough. As soon as the plan was hatched, Ratchet commed Optimus to come to the med bay, while Mikeala and I split up to secure our portions of the...prank.

(Mikeala's POV)

I couldn't believe how perfect Sam's idea was. It was simple, required little in the way of materials, would be quick to fulfill and would undoubtedly end up with a sweet, romantic feeling. It definitely reminded me of how lucky I was to have such a sweet, loving guy.

As I walked down the hall, I thought about the spark bond Ratchet had explained to me. While it seemed like it carried a large toll, the ability to always feel what your mate is feeling.... Having it be forever, not temporary, and considering it meant the truest, purest love conceivable, it seemed like a dream come true. The only real downside was when you were separated. You could still feel your mate, and if they were in pain...or if something happened to them...

Shaking my head, I dispelled those thoughts as I walked down another hall. I didn't really know where I was going, I was just wandering around, looking for a new, bright pink femme Autobot.

And I didn't have to look long.

Elita came strolling around the corner, and I called to her, waving when she looked down and blinked at me a moment. "Mikeala Banes-Witwicky?" She tilted her head a little.

I smiled, blushing a little at my name. It was still such a new thing to me. Nodding a little, I gestured her over, waiting as she seemed to search the internet for something -if the dimming of her optics were anything to go by- before walking over and bending down. "Hey. How are you?"

She inclined her head. "Confused. There are so many differences between your planet's customs and my own."

I nodded again. "I can imagine. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You heard it's almost Chrismas, right? The time of year we celebrate the birth of baby Jesus, and tend to exchange presents and stuff?" She nodded, and I smiled bigger. "Well, I wanted to explain another custom to you. It's based around a sprig of a plant called 'mistletoe' and usually that plant is placed above a doorway. Can we go somewhere private?"

She nodded silently, her expression quizzical, and held out her hand. It was a little awkward, considering her hand was smaller than Optimus', but I managed to climb in and settle myself comfortably. Then I began mentally rehearsing what I was going to say, and how I was going to explain the custom of 'the mistletoe kiss'.

(Later)

Looking to Sam, I raised an eyebrow at the grin that he wore, seemingly threatening to split his face in half. "Do I wanna know?" Realization dawned on me, and I felt my own grin forming. "You found some?" When he shook his head, my grin fell and I frowned. "Then what's with the cheshire grin?"

He snickered a little and looked to where Elita was in conversation with Prowl, who looked confused. "We didn't find any, but we managed to make some."

Now I frowned. "How the hell did you manage to make a plant in an hour??"

A small snort was my answer, and he covered his face as he giggled slightly. "Ratchet. Metal shards. Welder and paint."

Blinking a moment, I still didn't get it. How was that supposed to... Suddenly, Optimus walked into the room and I felt my eyes widen, and my jaw drop. "Oh my freakin' God!" It all made sense, and I grabbed Sam to me, burying my face into his shoulder to muffle my almost screaming laughter.

It didn't help.

All chatter in the room stopped, but for a few gasps and Sam's own muffled laughter against my shoulder. Suddenly, the entire room erupted into laughter loud enough to shake the furniture placed around it.

Daring a peek out of the corner of my eye, I snorted a giggle, which was rather painful, at the confused look on Optimus' face. Then I looked up at Sam, who looked like he was dying of internal laughter. "You actually.... How did you get him to hold still long enough to...??" I looked to Optimus, who was looking around, then to the yellow medibot who was leaning against the wall, energon tears coursing down his cheeks from his own muffled laughter. "Ratchet?!?!" I hissed, my eyes widening even more.

"Optimus...?" Prowl tilted his head a little. "What is the purpose of-oof!" He grunted and glared at Ratchet, who had the decency to try and look innocent, even as he removed his elbow from the second in command's side.

Optimus' optics narrowed. "What?" His totally innocent tone sent his troops into even worse hysterics. "What??"

Blinking a moment, I saw Elita turn to me in confusion, before understanding crossed her face. With an almost sly look, she sauntered over to the confused leader, slipped one arm gracefully around his neck, then pulled him to her and kissed him deeply.

The entire room went silent as his optics widened momentarily before closing and he seemed to give into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her. They seemed to melt into each other before a loud, forced clearing of the throat brought them apart.

"What was that for?"

Elita smirked and I giggled. "It's an earth custom to kiss one under the mistletoe, although..." She shot a look to the other femmes in the room. "If anyone else goes for it, their aft is mine." Her tone turned into a mock warning, and she smirked as the femmes laughed. Turning back, she winked, and giggled as Optimus looked up, searching the empty doorway for the mistletoe. "It's not on the doorway, sweetspark." With a wink, she sauntered out of the room. "And as the humans say, Merry Christmas!"

He blinked a moment, frowning in confusion. "But... You said..." He turned to see the doorway completely empty.

"It's not on the doorway." I finally spoke up, listening to the choked laughter and almost silent snapping of pictures. As Optimus turned towards me, I smirked. "It's on your forehead."

His optics widened and he walked over to a mirror hanging on the wall. Looking into it, his jaw dropped, and suddenly a very deep growl echoed through the room. Ratchet wisely chose that moment to casually push himself off the wall and quite leisurely walk out of the room, whistling innocently as he twirled a wrench in one hand.

On Optimus' forehead was a large metallic 'sprig' of mistletoe. It was expertly carved with three leaves and three tiny little white berries. It even stood on the end of a branch, which...incidentally, was welded to his forehead.

His cooling jets switched on loudly enough to send everyone into fresh peals of laughter, and he turned to the doorway, stalking out it. "RATCHET!"

Turning to Sam, I raised an eyebrow. "Think we should run for it?"

He regarded me silently a moment. "Nah, he wouldn't rat us out...." He nervously glanced at the door. "...Would he?"

".....SAM! MIKEALA!!"

Turning to Sam, I grabbed his hand and began running. "You were saying???"

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Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi