It's Only Life

Chapter Two: Warwick Avenue

"When I get to Warwick Avenue,
Please drop the past and be true.
Don't think we're okay,
Just because I'm here.
You hurt me bad, but I won't shed a tear..."

"Warwick Avenue"- Duffy


"Are you breathing?"

"Yes…"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive…"

"Really? Because, I'm looking at you right now, and you don't look like you're bre-"

"Arnold, rest assured, I will tear your lips off, if you don't shut up." Helga said, her arms uncrossing so that she could reach out and grip Arnold's forearm roughly. From her tone and her clench that she wasn't seriously upset. At least, not at him.

Her grip grew slack and she let her arm fall limp between them in the old Packard. The anger washed from her face and Helga sat in the car, looking nothing short of despondent. Her other hand repeatedly dashed in and out of her pocket, fingering the tiny ring that she kept in her pocket.

"I'm not sure if I told you, but I'm really proud of you for doing this. You know that, right?" Arnold said, latching onto her hand before she let it slip back onto her lap. He gave her hand a squeeze so that she'd respond.

Helga nodded in response, allowing a tiny smile to grace her face. "I wish you people would quit being 'proud' of me and let me got to the stinkin' park…" she said, jokingly. Helga coined the phrase after a particularly brutal fight between herself and Olga a few months back, where she immediately retreated to Tina Park. After arriving back home, she found herself grounded and with a new phrase. "Going to the park" was Helga's code for running away from a situation that she'd rather avoid than tackle.

"Unfortunately, that's not an option." Arnold said, chidingly, as he found a parking space along the curb, across from the small establishment. "You should be proud, Helga."

Helga sighed, and turned from Arnold to the Ice cream parlor across the street. "It's different for me, Arnold. I haven't done anything special. I'm just here. I might not even go in…" she said, leaning her head on the window of the car. Despite the summer heat, the glass was cool against her forehead.

"You can do this. You've already made the first step: being the bigger person, and putting some of your anger aside for the sake of your sister."

Helga pouted and audibly huffed, thinking of how Olga "roped" her into coming, against her will.


"They called."

Helga was exiting her room, having finished her third crossword puzzle of the day, and looking for another newspaper to scribble on. Drew was bound to have one or two lying around. The man was unusually obsessed with them. She was refusing to leave the house, and with good reason. Even though it was a full week since she'd seen her "biological gene donors" as she now called them, she was till certain that they were waiting around any street corner, eager to talk to her.

"So?" Helga asked, refusing to care about anything that they had to say. They could go jump up a rope, for all she cared.

"They want to meet. On Friday. At that ice cream place down on Warwick Avenue." Olga said, wringing her hands, nervously.

Helga made her way around Olga in the narrow hallway, and walked into the living room area. To her left sat Drew, facing her on the couch, a fresh newspaper in his hands. He was reading, but still clearly absorbed in the conversation going on between his wife and sister-in-law.

"Drew, can I have the crossword puzzle?" she asked, holding her hand out to him. His response was only to move the paper further up, shielding his face from the two blondes. Helga huffed and turned away from him.

"Did you hear me, Helga?" Olga asked, calmly.

"Yeah, I heard you." Helga replied, trying not to get too frustrated. Unfortunately her "genetic DNA benefactors" had the power to do so without even speaking to her. "Have fun. Bring me home a carton of Triple Chocolate Fudge."

Drew shook his head from behind the paper and Olga sighed, gathering her patience. "Helga, I would really like it if you'd come."

Helga yanked open the refrigerator, and stared at the contents angrily. 'She wants me to come along? And do what?' she asked herself. "And I'd like it if they disappeared from the face of the earth." Helga responded.

"You should give them a chance, Helga. People change." Olga suggested.

"I doubt people change that much…"

"We don't have to stay long. We can even-"

Helga took a deep breath and interrupted. "I'm gonna stop you right there, Olga. I don't want to go to see them. I don't ever want to see them. I think they're terrible people, and even if they did change, which I find hard to believe, it doesn't change the fact that they left us. Do you get that? They abandoned their kids. Why would you want to get to know people who do that? Regardless, you can do whatever you want. But I refuse to open myself up to that again. " Helga asked. Taking her weight off of the fridge, Helga stood up and looked her sister in the face. "Maybe it's just harder for you…"

"What is?" Olga asked, as though she were offended.

"Letting go of your image of them. Maybe, because you were so close to them, what they did doesn't hurt as much." Helga said, turning away from her sister.

In an instant, Helga was whirled around, with her back roughly pressed up against the refrigerator. Before she could open her mouth to retort, Olga was in her face, eyes brimming with tears and angry lines running across her forehead.

"Now, you listen to me. I am trying everything I can to keep us together. All I've ever asked of you is to work with me! Fine! Don't come! Stay in your room and sulk and don't let anyone try and help you, but don't you dare tell me that I wasn't hurt by what happened to us! More than for myself, I was hurting for you. So, don't give me any crap about how it effected me, because you don't know!" Olga shouted, angrily. "When I said that you and Drew were all the family that I needed, I meant it. I'm not going to let anything, especially our parents, tear us apart, understand?"

Helga met her sister's eyes, trying to quell the quivering of her chin and bottom lip, in response to her sister's outburst. Moving tentatively forward, Helga wrapped her arms around Olga's shoulders and gave hr sister a small, yet sincere hug.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered. Her anger was never directed at Olga. She and Drew had been nothing but amazing to her, and she always regretted her brief lapses into anger at either of them.

Olga returned the gesture, and stood up, wiping at her face briefly and running a hand through her hair. "It's quite alright, Helga." she said, clearing her voice. "Now, I'm going to the office to pick up a few things, and then, when I come back, we will have dinner. Like the family that we are, okay?" she asked. Helga nodded and watched her gather her bag and leave.

Helga settled back against the dining room table, her interest piqued when she saw Drew pull the newspaper up to his face again. Walking over to him, she placed her hands on her hips, as if waiting for something. Drew lowered the paper, and looked at her quizzically.

"Yes?"

"Well? What do you think of all this?" Helga asked.

"Oh no, I'm not even touching that. I am Switzerland to your Poland and Germany." he said, shaking his head.

Helga sighed. "This is what happens when college professors decide to marry each other…"

"All I'm saying is…I think you're right. You have that right to be upset and to not go see your…parents, if you don't want to." he said, folding up the paper and handing it to Helga. "But…

"There's always a big butt in one of these things…"

"But, I don't think you should let your resentment get in the way of your growth as a person. And it definitely shouldn't get in the way of free ice cream." Drew said, leaving the room.

Helga stood alone for a moment, thinking over what he said. Snapping her head up, she turned in the direction of the hallway where Drew just disappeared. "Hey! What happened to being Switzerland?!"


"I don't think I can do this." Helga said, standing on the sidewalk, looking toward the building, but turning away quickly. Arnold immediately stepped forward, and took hold of both of her hands.

"Yes, you can. You can do this." he rebutted, reassuringly. "Say it."

Helga exhaled loudly, moving her shoulders to relieve some of the tension, but keeping her hands in Arnold's. "Okay, fine, I can do this." she said, reluctantly.

"Do you want me to walk in with you?"

"No…if I'm going to do it, then I just need to bite the bullet and do it, right?" she finished, not really seeking an answer.

Arnold smiled, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Helga's lips. "Did I already tell you how proud of you I am?"

"You could stand to say it a few more times." Helga joked, detaching herself from Arnold's grasp. "Just do me a favor…try and remember me as I am now, and not as I will be in a few hours-clinically insane."

"It's okay, you're already clinically insane." Arnold replied, leaving Helga with a reassuring pat on her back. "I have some errands to run for my grandpa. Call me when you leave, and I'll pick you up." Helga nodded in reply, and turned back toward the ice cream shop. Taking in another deep breath, Helga began crossing the street and made her way to the door.

'I think they have a name for places like this…' she thought, eyeing the establishment. 'Oh yeah, The Ninth Circle of Hell…'


"Who is that?"

Olga followed her father's eyes to the large window a few tables away from where they were seated. Outside and across the street, stood Helga and Arnold, hand in hand staring at one another. Arnold was saying something to Helga, and Olga had no doubts that he was trying to encourage her to come inside. She could only take so much credit for getting Helga as far as she did; but Olga was very aware that Arnold had a large influence on Helga's life and decisions.

"That's Helga's boyfriend, Arnold." Olga said, trying not to give away too much information. Bob and Miriam seemed unusually at ease around her, but she didn't want to go and tell them everything about Helga.

"Hmm…" Bob said, turning away from the window.

Olga, who dubbed herself the unofficial voice of reason regarding her estranged parents and Helga, was growing somewhat peeved. She wanted to believe that Bob's concern was normal for a parent, but Helga made a valid point on the day of their latest argument. Bob and Miriam weren't parents, anymore. They hadn't been for a long time. And as Helga's acting guardian, Olga felt upset that he was judging his youngest daughter before he got a chance to speak with her.

"They both got into NYU. They start this fall." she said, sounding like a proud mother at a PTA meeting.

"NYU?" Miriam asked, her voice tinier than Olga remembered. "That's amazing. Maybe when she comes we can all…" she said, her voice drifting off and getting lost among the noise of the small eatery around them. Her eyes focused on something behind Olga, causing them to widen and glaze over. When Olga turned to follow her mother's stare, she found Helga, looking nervously around the establishment, clutching a brown messenger bag over her shoulder.

None of them called her over; just waited silently until her eyes landed on the table and she took a noticeable intake of air and began walking over. Initially, Olga wanted to stand and hug her sister, quietly reassuring her that she was proud of her and happy that she came and that everything would turn out alright. But, she surmised, that such a gesture may prompt their parents to react in like fashion, and she was aware that physical contact was not something Helga was ready for. As she watched Helga on the sidewalk, getting reassurance from Arnold, she almost wondered if Helga was ready for verbal contact with Bob and Miriam.

"Hi." Olga said, as soon as Helga slid into the empty chair next to her. Bob and Miriam muttered greetings as well, but Helga turned to Olga and smiled, nodding, however to her parents.

"We're glad you decided to come…" Miriam said, quietly. Helga expertly avoided looking at either of her parents, and was content with looking around the table and scratching her arm. "It's been a very long time."

Helga continued facing the table, but her eyes shot up to her parents; a look that read, "No figure…" even though no words followed to support them. "I suppose…" Bob began seriously. "We owe you an explanation." Helga's look returned, this time with more venom as she awaited the rest of Bob's statement.

"About ten years ago, Big Bob's Beepers was…well, it was going under. I was up to my ears in bank loans, but I had no way to pay them back. When I finally did obtain some funding, it was…well, from a far less credible source."

Olga narrowed her gaze and looked between her parents. "You…borrowed money? From a loan shark?"

"More or less." Bob answered after a few seconds of silence. "It's something that I've regretted ever since. Even after the 'loan', I still didn't have enough to pay them back, or the banks for that matter. So, before they came to me, I went to the police. Hinted that there was some illegal money laundering going on.

"I thought, at best, that the police would be able to protect us. But, they couldn't. Somehow, the case wasn't serious enough for them to grant us any kind of witness protection-"

"So, you decided to run off and make your own? A Bob and Miriam Protection Agency?" Helga asked. She didn't want the first words to her parents to be out of anger, but she didn't like the way the story was headed.

Miriam looked at Bob, as if confirming her next statement before she said it. "We considered…taking you, Helga. But, you were so young, and we didn't want you to live out so much of your youth running-"

"So, you thought that leaving me at a train station was a better idea? What? I'm too young to travel the country with my parents, but just old enough to have them abandon me?" she asked, looking at her mother now. For some reason, unbeknownst even to her, Helga never really pinned much of the blame on Miriam. Somewhere in her mind, she knew that even with Miriam's business smarts, had Bob been the one to leave them, they would not have survived for long. She fancied that maybe Miriam went with Bob out of obligation, instead of actually supporting his reasons for leaving. The conversation thus far, however, was slowly stripping her of that idea.

"Helga, there were so many things…so many things that you wouldn't have understood…" Miriam began, her face contorting, as she turned from the table to hide her tears. Exiting the table she ran toward the bathroom.

Helga looked to her right at Olga, expecting a look of disappointment and anger to mar her face. Instead, Olga looked at her sympathetically, as if she knew why Helga said what she did. Standing up, Olga left the table to possibly console their mother, all the while leaving Helga alone with Bob.

A few minutes passed before either of them spoke, and, of course, the first to initiate polite conversation was Bob. "So…Olga tells us you got into NYU. That's impressive."

"It's no Wellington University, but it's something…" Helga said, turning to look out of the window instead of at her father. Regardless of the fact that she regretted making her mother cry, she was still angry, and Bob was the only person within ten feet that she could lash out at.

"It's a great school. Do you know what you're going to study?" he asked, a hint of enthusiasm in his voice.

"Okay, that's enough." Helga said, sitting up straight and looking her father in the eye. "I know you wanna play catch up, and everything, but let me tell you now, that that's not gonna happen. To be perfectly honest, I don't want to be here right now. I only came because Olga asked me to, and I respect, love, and occasionally fear her. So, I think it'd be best if the two of us didn't talk anymore until Olga comes back from the bathroom, okay?"

Bob seemed to shrink in his seat momentarily, but continued trying to connect with Helga. He reasoned in his mind, that something aside from Olga had to have made her come. Part of her actually wanted to see them, even if she wasn't aware of it yet.

"I know that you're angry, Helga. And you should be, but your mother and I-"

"What? What else do I need to know about the two of you?" she asked, banging her fist on the table. Trying to calm herself down, Helga ran her hands over her face and through her hair. "Don't you get it? This isn't about you. It's about us; me and Olga. You say you understand that I'm angry, but do you understand why? I'm your daughter, Bob, and you left me. Do you get that?

"And, you show up in Hillwood, at my graduation party, which, by the way, you completely ruined, expecting some grand reception, and you're actually surprised when your kids-the ones you abandoned- are scared to trust you? You're not the victim here. Me and Olga; we're the victims. You hurt us. End of story." Helga sat back in her chair, not realizing how worked up she managed to get. Her hand flew to her pocket this time, feeling the ring through her pants. Instead of comforting her, it only served to make her more upset, and in an instant she felt the need to exit the table and the restaurant.

"I have to go." Helga said quickly, taking a deep breath, and reaching under the table for her bag. Standing up, she was able to get a few feet from the table before Bob's voice called her back.

"Helga, I know…I that we missed a lot of important things in your life so far, but we're trying. We are."

Shaking her head, Helga looked back at her father. "It's too late. You have a daughter who's going off to college at the end of the summer, and another who's married and happier than ever. It's too late to start trying now." Helga started off again, before turning back to the table. "In case you were wondering, she was the most beautiful bride anyone's ever seen. And I gave her away."


"So, you think I should forgive them, too?" Helga asked, bouncing the small child on her knee.

"I'm saying that you have a right to feel the way that you do, at present. Not many teenagers are in your position, and can so freely choose how they want to interact with their parents. You need to make sure that you've weighed both sides of the coin, as it were, before you make any final decisions." Dr. Phelps said, sifting around the mint-green baby bag on her lap. She'd taken off a year off from counseling, after she found outt hat she was pregnant, but Helga made sure to keep her updated.

"What do you mean 'both sides'?" Helga asked. As far as she was concerned, there was only one side.

"You can either put your anger aside and forgive them. Start your relationship anew, while still being cautious, or", Dr. Phelps began again, taking a deep breath. "You can put your anger behind you and never speak to them again. It's entirely your decision. No one can make it for you."

Helga wrinkled her brow and tried to think. In theory, Option number one sounded like a good idea. But a relationship with her parents? Again? 'What would make this one any different from the one before?' she asked herself. She reasoned that these were the same people that left her alone and scared at age ten, knowing nothing about the world, or their whereabouts, and didn't bother to contact her or offer any explanation for eight years.

Lost in her own thought, Helga hardly noticed Dr. Phelps packing up her baby bag. "Just think about what I said. And remember, you have options. They're bound to take you in different directions, but they have a common root."

Helga nodded and stood, placing young Caroline back in her stroller. "Thanks." she answered, offering the doctor and long-time friend a short hug and watching her wheel the child away.

Once again, Helga sat alone on the bench. 'Dr. Phelps made a valid point,' she reasoned. 'Either way, I have to let go of my anger…but how?' she asked herself. Helga was certain that she could manage to not be angry at her parents, but, at the time, it seemed too far off. And she knew that they wouldn't be around forever. They didn't even need to tell her that.

She would have to forgive them someday. Someday soon.

"Waiting for someone?"


"So, you didn't talk to them at all…?" Arnold asked, only somewhat chidingly. He was proud of Helga for having the guts to meet with her parents, but slightly disappointed that she ran out on them. 'You can't expect her to go running into their arms right away…' he told himself. Maybe he was expecting too much from her.

"I did talk to them. Well, Miriam ran off to the bathroom after a few minutes, but I did talk to Bob. I figure it's largely his fault anyway." Helga answered. She was aware that it was her task to put her anger behind her, but she figured that as long as she was angry, she might as well take advantage of it.

"What did you talk about?"

"I merely gave him an update on my life, as well as Olga's. The wedding, mostly, and I hinted at the fact that the two of them completely ruined my party…the usual."

"Helga…" Arnold said, bringing the car to a stop on the side of the movie theater.

"Dr. Phelps said I can either quit being angry at them and erase them from my life, or I can quit being angry at them and be cool with the fact that they're back, okay? I just haven't decided yet." she shot out, crossing her arms. Arnold was used to the gesture.

"Who's Dr. Phelps?"

"Our old guidance counselor. I ran into her at the park. I kind of…know her." Helga said. She knew that Arnold probably wouldn't remember Dr. Bliss, and didn't feel the need to go into a long story.

"Well, I think they're both worth thinking over." Arnold added. "But, if you want, you can always talk to me-"

"What do you want to see? Cliché apocalypse movie, where the good-looking male protagonist saves the planet alongside an equally attractive female neurosurgeon, or a fluffy romantic comedy about a handsome widower who finds solace within the pages of a historical romance novel only to find out that the author is not only female, but single as well?" Helga asked, attempting to distract Arnold.

"I'll go with Option number one." Arnold said, rolling his eyes.

'Maybe I should too.' Helga thought, exiting the car.


For once, I really have nothing at all to say. Hmm.

Thanks for reading.

-Pointy_Objects