Disclaimer : I don't own it.
Note : Collaboration with Gixxer Pilot .
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(Normal POV)
Optimus Prime was a lot of things. Benevolant, kind, compassionate, supremely forgiving, insightful, strong, funny...patient. But, like everyone else, he had his limits.
The war had started out simple enough. One mech, looking for a good time, pranked another. It was amusing, a good distraction from the real war at hand, and best of all no one got hurt. Unfortunately, instead of remaining an isolated incident, like he'd partially hoped it would, it spread quickly.
Somehow, I knew it would.
Sighing heavily, Optimus slowly made his way out of the hangar. Seeing what stood before him, he barely resisted the urge to roll his optics.
Things had certainly escalated. More so than he'd expected. What started out as a surprisingly routine prank pulled by the infamous 'Vette twins, ended up including more or less all of his troops, including the much smaller, much more fragile humans under his command.
Then again, they gave as good as they got.
He mentally recalled the pranks, some of them placed right up in the front as the funnier ones. The car wash and fake pregnancies were admittedly very original and clever, and was definitely his favorite prank by far, followed closely by the glitch mice and worms, not to mention messing with Jazz's processors to get him to sing...and the fake wedding... His battle mask engaged without him even meaning to, as a smirk threatened to destroy the grim expression he was struggling to give.
And in some cases, gave more than they got. Especially the earth femmes.
Still... This was a military base. Some shenanigans would be expected, of course, but this had gone on far too long, taking up precious time the troops could be training, or the civilians studying, in the case of Mikeala Banes and Samuel Witwicky.
He couldn't begrudge them their fun. What kind of leader would he be?
Pit! He even pulled some pranks of his own!
Shaking his head a little, he paused a moment, staring at them as he folded his arms over his chest. He was standing directly across from them, trying to mentally gather a stern enough speech to do some good, but he could clearly tell the entire group was distracted.
Sam and Mikeala were stuck in an animated chat about his wanting her to move in with him, and her arguing that she still had her father to look after. Sarah Lennox was cooing at Annabelle, who was comfortably held within the strong arms of her father, William Lennox.
Epps was facing a nameless soldier who'd really had no reason to be there but for support for his friend.
Ironhide, Prowl, Wheeljack and Ratchet were the only ones out of the entire group standing at attention.
With a subtle clearing of his throat, he watched as more Autobots snapped to attention, and even smirked behind his mask when Bumblebee very slightly nudged Sam and Mikeala with his foot, to get their attention. Ironhide did the same for Sarah, and then apologized when she fell onto said foot with a yelp.
"Nice going, bolts-for-brains." Sunny murmured sarcastically, getting a growl in place.
"Enough!" Optimus' voice raised a little, catching everyone's attention. Once he'd gathered control of his emotions, he retracted his battle mask and stared them down. "As I'm sure everyone has become aware of, the prank battle has gotten far out of hand." A few snickers and smirks answered him, and he eyed the jokers with narrowed optics. "This is not a good thing. This is a military base, after all. All this time you've spent pranking each other, and I bet you've forgotten your training, or your studies."
Sam blushed and looked down, linking his arms behind his back and scuffing one foot on the ground, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Mikeala just giggled at him and kissed his cheeks.
"No one has been hurt, yet, but it is only a matter of time. We are simply quite lucky the Decepticons haven't attacked."
"Yeah, 'cause they're too busy playing their own pranks." Epps snickered, sending another round of muffled laughter through the group.
Optimus shuddered violently, setting off the real laughter, when he recalled Megatron singing, and the reports of Decepticons with holoform mods. Shaking his head again, he managed somehow to usher up a glare, and directed it where it needed directly.
Namely, both sets of mech twins.
After all, they were the worst for the pranks, even if Skids and Muflap hadn't performed too many themselves. The bad thing about that is that they were watching and learning what the other twins were doing.
Autobot see, Autobot do, Autobot get blasted into space dust.
"Since you've all... Wait, who are you?" He looked down at the man next to Epps.
The man blinked, before pointing a single finger at his own chest and clearing his throat. Standing at attention, he looked straight ahead and saluted. "Cadet Jeremy Wilson, sir!"
"And you're here...why?" He raised an optic ridge.
"Moral support, sir!"
I see... Letting his raised optic ridge drop, he nodded a little. "Fine. Since you're all here, and you've all performed at least one prank, you're all going to have to deal with the consequences." He thought for a moment, before smirking.
He'd just gotten the perfect idea.
(Later, with the pranksters)
"A military cheer? What the pit is that?" Mikeala raised an eyebrow, not even flinching when she used an Autobot curse.
"It's supposed to boost morale." Will groaned. "But to do squats during the whole thing? That's just cruel!"
Epps nodded. "I don't think any of us are fit enough to pull that off, and just where are we supposed to get a military cheer?"
Annabelle was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on Maggie's laptop, an seeing this, Will watched his daughter smile and clap happily. Pausing a moment, he stared at the screen a long moment before smirking. "Why don't we make one up? Our own cheer?" His smirk grew, catching everyone's attention. "And I've got just the song, too!" He leaned in close to the humans and began to plan, blushing and raising his voice a little when all the Autobots leaned down to listen as well. He explained in detail what they'd be doing.
And thankfully, Prime had given them a month to prepare.
After all, great things couldn't be rushed.
(A month later)
"This is gonna be humiliating." Mikeala groaned, looking down at her white overalls and brown shirt. Looking over at the other humans in their identical outfits, she suddenly giggled. "But at least I'm not alone."
Sam chuckled a little from her side. Looking up, he blinked and then whistled. "Everyone, he's coming!"
The Autobots all lined up in two rows, tallest behind the shorter, and the humans lined up in front of them. They stood at attention as Optimus approached, and watched as said leader raised an optic ridge at their choice in clothing, before shaking his head. He gestured to his side, where Secretary of Defence John Keller stood, along with General Morshower and a few other dignitarys.
The humans exchanged slightly worried looks before resolving themselves to their plan.
"I hope you have had sufficient time to prepare your cheer." Optimus stated calmly, his tone expectant.
"We have, sir!" Will spoke up, his lips trembling. "Permission to begin?"
The large Autobot regarded him a long moment with a look that clearly screamed 'Oh Primus no!', before he hesitated and nodded, letting out a huge breath as he did. Obviously he figured out something was up, just not what.
Exchanging a look, the group began. There was no music, so they kept at least partial visuals on their partners to help them keep in time as they cheered. They didn't sing either, but belted out the words as loud as they could, doing the squats in a wave motion, starting with front line, then second, then third.
Oompa
Loompa doompadee doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa
Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
What
do you get from a glut of TV?
A pain in the neck and an IQ of
three
Why don't you try simply reading a book?
Or could you
just not bear to look?
You'll
get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll get no
You'll
get no commercials
Optimus' look was one of mild expectation, like he knew they'd screw up his punishment. Even so, he couldn't fight off the minor horror at what they were doing, right in front of the group he'd arrived with. On the upside, Keller and Morshower were at least chuckling, even if the others looked confused.
Cycling his vents, Optimus shook his head and sighed. I knew it. I knew they'd pull something.
Oompa
Loompa Doompadee Dah
If you're not greedy you will go far
You
will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa
Oompa Loompa
doompadee do
Once done, several of the younger mechs sat down, not that they were hurting but they just felt like being lazy. Mikeala followed their lead because her legs did hurt, and Sam almost toppled over backwards. Even with a month of practicing and lots of squats, this was still trying on their legs.
Glenn looked winded just watching them. He was lucky enough that his weight alone forbade him from joining them. Ratchet's health kick had worked in his favor, for once. If he didn't do squats, he didn't risk a heart attack.
Shaking his head, Optimus grumbled to himself in Cybertronian as the humans and Autobots snickered at each other. Even Ratchet, Prowl and Ironhide, who'd taken a load of persuasion to even join in, in the first place, were looking pleased with themselves. Without so much as a word to the others, Optimus turned and headed back into the hangar, leaving his visitors and the pranksters behind him as he went.
It was early in the day, and yet he just knew today was going to be a long day.
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Hope you like it.
R+R please.
Thank you.
Tenshi
