Disclaimer : I don't own it.
Note : Requested by Darklight8121. A lot of the details and planning is also Dark's.
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(Normal POV)
"The is getting out of hand." Ironhide grumbled as he glared around at the others. I have a sense of humor and can appreciate a good joke like the rest, but this is going too far. He agreed with Prime's earlier assessment that the pranking was going too far. Actually, it was probably more the glitch mice and worms that got him.
He shuddered a little as he stalked down the hall. Ratchet. He's the worst for it. Optics narrowed as he stalked quietly past the med bay. No, Prime. It was Prime who was there for the incidents, so it was him who told Ratchet.
Some part of his mind argued it was logical for Prime to talk to Ratchet about it, to explain his injuries and so the medic would know exactly how best to treat him, but what he didn't appreciate was that Ratchet seemed to be having trouble with doctor patient confidentiality when it came to it.
On one hand, however, he did have to admit that all the pranksters were all playing to their strengths. Wheeljack used his mind, the human femmes their creativity, and Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were just plain twin terrors. Then you had Ratchet and Jolt adding in their medical smarts and Jazz thinking outside the box.
Optics blinked off and then back on again.
Heading to his quarters, he entered and locked the doors behind him, before settling down, grabbing one of the many human weapons he'd collected, some wax and a rag, and began cleaning. They all work to their strengths. It really showed in the quality and effectiveness of the pranks. Somehow, the thought kept repeating in his head, begging him to do something with it.
Then it hit him.
A smirk lit up Ironhide's features. I need to do that. He looked down at himself, his smirk growing. I'll play to my strengths. His cannons appeared, whirled as if in agreement, and then disappeared again. Now... I just need an accomplice.
Not one of the usuals, either. Knowing a lot of them, they'd take the credit, screw up the prank or tell everyone, or turn on him at the last moment. He needed someone who'd never been involved before, and one name came to mind immediately.
Quickly finishing his work, he placed the tiny human gun back, put his things away and went in search of his hopefully soon-to-be accomplice.
(Rec room. Two Days Later)
"Where'd you get this idea?" Hound looked up from where he was tediously working several tiny rubber things the humans called 'balloons'. He cursed as one of them snapped against his hold, before he carefully took hold of another one, using slightly less pressure. "These are tiny."
"They're perfect." Ironhide looked over several jars and containers. "We need them to be small, so I can carry more. Hm, the red ones.... Use this." He held up a hot sauce jar with an evil smirk.
Raising an optic ridge, Hound shot him an uncertain look, before shrugging and gently taking the bottle. He grimaced after a moment, and sighed, before activating his new holoform and taking the balloon and hot sauce in the smaller hands. Immediately, he sighed, realizing he was having a much easier time of it with the smaller hands.
Ironhide also activated his holoform, solidifying it and taking a can of whipped cream that had been left in the sun all day. He grimaced as he began to fill a balloon, the smell hitting his receptors and making him positively cringe. Oh yeah, this is going to be so worth it.
"You're certain he won't have you offlined?" Hound actually gagged as he cracked open a container of egg yolks that had been sitting over a heater all day. "This is a little extreme."
"He'll be angry, yes, but he'd never offline his own weapons specialist." Once he was done filling the balloon, he started the next, meanwhile he was simultaneously working on his cannons, rewiring them a little as his internal sensors recalibrated one of his internal holds.
Hound let out a small laugh. "If you're certain." he opened another container, took a deep breath, and cussed voilently. "Holy sweet Primus! What did he do to you?!" Blinking rapidly, the holoform swayed a little and put down the mysterious container, before dissipating as Hound swayed on his mechanical feet, his optics dim a little.
Ironhide couldn't help but chuckle at the image, even as Hound shook his head and seemed to snap out of it. "Ok, maybe that ones a little much."
"You think??" Blinking at him, Hound shook his head again and returned to work.
(With Prowl)
If there was one thing Prowl was, it was very observant.
He was the one who noticed right away when Ironhide began secluding himself from the others. The weapons specialist had said it was because he was avoiding being hit by any more pranks, but this was a little much, even for him. Things had been quiet for a while, and the second in command kept expecting to see Ironhide at the range, or complaining about one thing or another in the rec room.
No such luck.
And worse off, Hound seemed to have vanished as well.
Logically, if one was missing, the other was probably with them. After all, he'd looked all over the base for both and neither were to be found. Why they were missing was a whole other thing all together.
Finding Prime wandering around, Prowl cocked his head a little to one side. "Prime." He nodded in greeting as his leader turned towards him. "Have you seen Ironhide or Hound lately?"
"Yes, actually. I spotted Hound heading towards Ironhide's quarters earlier."
"This is strange. They've both been isolating themselves from the others for some time now. And more so, they've been spending all their time together." Prowl's optics narrowed. The week has been too quiet so far. "Sir, I think they may be planning something."
Optimus sighed and barely resisted the urge to roll his optics. "They've been isolating themselves for two days, Prowl. That's hardly anything serious." Still, he did have doubts. It was unusual for Hound to isolate himself, and Ironhide rarely did so unless he was planning something. Frowning a little, he shook his head. He was about to dismiss the idea when a shout erupted from the rec room.
Startled, both mechs froze, even as Ironhide's voice began rising, his shouting drawing all kinds of attention.
"I'VE HAD IT!!"
Prowl shot Optimus an 'I told you so' look before leading the way into the rec room, where both mechs froze to find Ironhide standing in the center of the room, his cannons whirling at his sides as he glared at the other Autobots in the room.
"THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!" Glaring at the Corvette twins, he raised one arm complete with glowing cannon and sneered at them, his optics flashing. "You two, you started all this! I should offline you both and end it!" He growled and took a menacing step forward.
"Ironhide!" Optimus never raised his voice, but put enough steel into it that Ironhide actually seemed to freeze. Stepping foward, he turned and firmly put himself between Ironhide and the twins, optics narrowed. "We don't harm humans or each other. What has gotten in to you?!"
Remaining silent, the weapons specialist glared at Optimus for a long moment, blankly.
Taking that as a possibly good sign, Optimus took a step forward.
...Only to find himself facing two glowing cannons.
He froze again, even as a loud chorus of gasps sounded through the room, and it went deadly silent. he stared at the cannons, feeling his spark pulsing erratically before lifting his optics to Ironhide. "Lower your weapons." His voice remained steady as he stared down his old friend. This can't be happening. Vaguely, Optimus could make out the sounds of several other sets of weapons coming out.
Prowl began to move slowly, pacing silently until he was behind Ironhide. He took a step forward, his arms raising in a grabing motion, when Hound, who'd been leaning against a nearby wall, launched himself off it and grabbed Prowl. The element of surprise worked in his favor, he was able to take down the second in command, restraining him before looking up.
"Shoot, 'Hide! Shoot! Now!"
With a smirk, Ironhide did just that. He fired his cannons at Prime's face.
Everyone cried out in shock, expecting their leaders head to blow apart from the force, and weapons raised, aiming at Ironhide. Then, everyone froze.
Optimus gaped, optics shuttered and jaw hanging losely while tan seeds, orange gunk and bits of orange rubber slowly dripped down his face. Raising a hand, he wiped his face off, then onlined his optics, glaring slightly at the now laughing weapons specialist.
"Whoo! Go Ironhide!" Hound cheered, letting go of Prowl in the process.
Quick as lightning, Prowl had pushed Hound off him, and got up, spinning to Ironhide.
And getting a brown balloon of some sort of peanut butter goop all over his own face.
All standing by began to laugh, especially the twins. That is, until one got a face full of rancid whipped cream in a white balloon and the other egg yolk in a yellow balloon. Everyone began ducking and screaming, the humans vacating the room before Ironhide could come after them. Meanwhile, said Ironhide was cackling evilly with glee as he shot one bot after the other.
About the only Autobot not targeted was hound, who was once again leaning against the wall, laughing his aft off, even as he watched the others dodging nasty balloons filled with countlss items. He watched as Prime took a hit to the aft, causing him to give a rather unmechly yelp, before turning and shooting a glare at Ironhide. Then Prime ducked as Ironhide shot at him again, and Ratchet who'd been standing behind Prime took the shot to the face.
After about an hour, Ironhide powered down his now empty cannons, smirking as he stared at the goop-covered troops.
"Haha. I win!" He smirked at the others. The Corvette twins snarled and shot him glares, but he only raised one of his cannons and raised an optic ridge. "I. WIN."
They backed down, slipping and sliding on the goop all over the floors, and wincing at the smell that filtered through the room.
With a final grunt, Ironhide turned and walked out of the room, high fiving Hound as he passed him. Hound quickly followed, not wanting to be left behind as the other Autobots gathered their wits.
One thing was for sure, he now had one hell of a target on his back!
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Hope you like it.
R+R please.
Thank you.
Tenshi
