Kay guys, this is the second last chapter in The Obstacle, and it's also the most Important. The next one is simply going to explain what happened to Zeff, but it's going to be emotional, so definitely read it.
Jacob's POV
"Renesmee," I asked for the thousandth time these few days, "Why won't you speak to me?" I sat next to her on the couch, but not too close. I didn't want to invade her personal space.
She looked at me again with the same blank stare. It held no anger; it held no remorse- almost as if I was just another person passing by on a sidewalk. Edward was the only one who had any means of communication with her, and even his search inquiry was limited. He would ask if she needed anything, and she would think no. He would ask if she wanted him to get Bella, she thought no. If he asked a more detailed question, she would concentrate on not thinking too much, covering up her real thoughts with decoys.
I was concerned she wasn't speaking. What ever she felt, she was bottling it up. I feared that the cap needed to come off soon, and whatever it was she was hiding, she was shaken up about. Literally. I feared that her emotions would explode all too fast- and it wouldn't be healthy. I felt so unhelpful; almost as if I was a burden to her. She wouldn't even show anyone anything- and even if she did, they would find out much. It was horrible, not knowing how she felt, but I had to give it a try.
"Can you show me how you feel?" I dared to ask. Of course, Renesmee didn't move. I didn't really expect her to, but it would've been nice. She sighed; that was the most noise she made in the past few days. Then she shook her head. She was improving.
"I'm sorry," I said again, "I shouldn't have let-"
She shook her head once more with a look of agitation on her face. But beyond the agitation, I thought I could see tears welling up. She noticed, and quickly turned away, wiping them from her eyes.
"Nessie, I-"
"It isn't you, Jacob."
She talked.
Renesmee talked!
Hearing her voice again saved the last little bit of my heart I had left from jumping off the edge of a building. It was indescribable- almost as if had fallen a hundred feet and walked away from it with barely a scratch.
Only there was a scratch- something in her voice that didn't belong. A sort of longing, almost, coated in sadness. I loved hearing her voice, of course, but it brought me a completely different feeling to hear it filled with despair. She should never feel like that- she deserves better.
"Then what's wrong?" I asked, being as fragile as possible.
She hesitated, and I thought she was going to stop talking altogether once again. But she didn't.
"She's gone." Her eyes became the blank stare again. The only way I could possibly tell what she was feeling was by the single tear the rolled down her cheek.
"I know." I slid closer to her, and extended my arm to wipe away the out of place tear. Again, she turned around. I put my hand on my shoulder, surprised she didn't shrug it off like I expected she would. These passed few days; she wouldn't let anyone put a hand on her except for Edward (and quite frankly, even he had a difficult time). "But we'll get through this." I finished. I wanted to tell her that It was going to be alright, that things would go back to normal soon- but that wasn't the case.
She didn't respond. I should've expected I could only get two sentences out of her. I was lucky, even. Yet hearing her voice even once was enough to last forever in my memory. It was all I needed. But even so, the last piece of my heart jumped, and joined all the other pieces with a nice splat.
"Come with me." I said. I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing, or if she would follow, but she did.
I thought of Edward coming back from hunting and not seeing us there. At first, I was a little scared of his reaction. He'd get out his verbal machine gun and shoot at me later, and I'd probably end up fighting back with diarrhea of the mouth (*A/N: Constant talk with no information value. Unstoppable talking. Saying a lot but saying nothing at all. Speaking without thinking.) But then, I thought, if his daughter wasn't home for once in the past few days, I managed to get her out. And if I managed to get her outside, I was probably talking to her… and she was probably talking back. He'd get the point. Besides, he knew I wouldn't let anyone hurt her.
But I let that happen once- and it would never let it happen again.
We found ourselves walking a familiar path- only this time, I wasn't hiding in the bushes hoping Nessie wouldn't see me. I guided her through the think brush of trees, which sheltered us from the slight rain. I could tell she started to feel uncomfortable; she walked slowly, pausing at some points, and looked around nervously once she realized where we were going. Her hand searched for mine. When she finally found it, I could confirm my theory.
'Jacob,' she thought, 'what are we doing here?'
I looked back at her, unable to find the strength to smile. I squeezed her hand as we entered the small clearing, where everything happened only a few days ago. She looked around, and I could almost believe she thought Zeff would jump out at us or something. 'What happened to him, anyway?' I asked myself.
Nessie bit her lip and sighed. She would much rather be somewhere else, I was sure. I squeezed her hand again, making sure she was still responsive and not ready to faint. We finally stopped, directly in the middle- where Zeff and Renesmee once stood, among other things. She shuddered, and looked down.
"So this is where it happened." I gestured toward the open space. She instinctively put two fingers to her lips. When she noticed me notice, she looked away, she flushed a bright pink and nodded. It wasn't an 'OMG! That cute guy just looked my way!' blush (As it would have been a few days ago), it was more an 'I'm so ashamed!' blush. She didn't have to be. What happened wasn't her fault, it was mine.
I pointed toward the Western part of the clearing, where a group of barely noticeable, large bushes were. "And that was where I was hiding." I began, "I sat back and watched it all happen. I had so much time to kick his ass, and I picked the last second- the second your life depended on. You could have died. You would have."
"But I didn't. Jacob you couldn't have done anything." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but I could still hear it crack.
"I could've done so much. You don't know how tempting it was to kill him." I said it through my teeth, "But instead, I just watched. You could have-" I was interrupted put cupped her hand over my mouth to shut me up.
"Yes, Jacob. I could have died. But I didn't." She said, I wanted to counter, but she continued, "But if you keep blaming yourself, I will wish I was dead, so you could finally have a valid excuse to blame yourself. You could say you sat back and watched me die, rather than sat back and watched me almost die, until you came into view and nearly kicked his ass. You could blame yourself all you wanted and I wouldn't be around to hear it. But I am here- and want to know something else? I'm alive. It's hell when you blame yourself, Jacob. And when you do, it feels like I did die." I was speechless for a minute or so, and if I had any heart left, it would jump as well. But it was all gone, so my eyes just dropped, looking at the shattered remains.
"Could… I see your shoulder?" I asked, "Let me just show you what I've done, and I'll shut up." She looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. Then, realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She nodded.
Nessie moved her left sleeve up and turned around, revealing the part of her shoulder where the feather tattoo once was. Considering it was gone, I wondered why I gasped so loudly. When my brain finally caught up to my eyesight, I growled quietly. Instead of the tattoo, a feather scar was etched in on her shoulder; ad although it was a scar, it was just as intricate as it was before. It was deep, and shimmered slightly under the moonlight. I cursed the moon, as it had never betrayed me in such a way before. I clenched my fists. It would never disappear.
"Does it hurt?" I asked through my teeth, unable to disguise the unbelievable amount of hate and disgust I had for myself. This was just as much my fault as that damned Zeff. She turned around.
"M-my shoulder?" she asked. I nodded, "It hurt before… badly. But it's only throbbing right now." She said it like it was no big deal. I reached my right arm around her to stroke the scar gently once. She winced, and I withdrew my hand. Her sleeve fell back down.
"Did that hurt?" I asked. She bit her lip and shook her head; her bronze curls swaying around in the moonlight. Who ever thought a sight so beautiful could be an answer to such a self-betraying question. I might have cracked a smile- she wasn't a very convincing liar.
"N-no…"
"Ness, if you downplay it, it isn't going to make things any better." I said.
"No, really, I'm alright." She insisted.
I sighed, "What can I do?" She looked at me is if I was a specimen she was studying in biology class.
"What?"
"What can I do to make it up to you?" She looked as if she was going to object again, but I continued, "I could give you anything. The whole world, the sun, or even the moon! It's right there!" I pointed to the silver orb that hung, illuminated, in the dark sky. That gave me a crazy idea, "Or maybe I could… no- I don't have the guts for that."
"Jacob, I don't need the world, the sun or the moon- even though you're tall enough to reach it. All I need is… you." It seemed like I could have counted to infinity- twice, before I understood what she meant. And suddenly, my crazy idea didn't seem so crazy anymore.
"I think I just got my stomach back." I said. She looked at me with curiosity wedged in her eyes.
I closed the already short distance between us in one stride and placed my arms around her small waist. Her cheeks flamed a bright crimson, and her beautiful eyes grew wide.
"J-Jacob, I-" But she didn't have time to complete her sentence. I dropped my head down, planting my mouth onto hers. She was shocked for a moment, but in a second or two, I could feel her smile against my lips, and she flung her arm around my shoulders. She kissed back. All the pieces of my heart that had jumped off the building came back to life, pulling off a Thriller (A/N: R.I.P Michael Jackson) and coming back to life. They moon-walked their way through me, back up to the place my heart should be.
I can try to describe to you how that moment felt. How's perfect? No. It's too cliché. Maybe… to good to be true? Definitely not, because it was true. Aha! I've got it!
How about… jaw dropping, heart stopping, to lie for, to die for, I'm gonna have to thank above for the only real shot I had at love; this is something I've been craving- can you give me another way to say amazing?
Our lips finally broke apart, much to my dismay, so we could catch our breath. Our grasp on each other turned into an embrace. I held on to her like I'd never let go again. I wouldn't.
"I don't know if you've picked this up yet, but I love you." I whispered. She nodded, and smiled. How I missed that smile.
"I love you," she said, "So we're even."
That reminded me- I needed to check my to-do list.
"Renesmee, there's still one more thing I need to tell you." I took a big intake of air, ready for a big explanation. She looked at me curiously, not letting go, just as I wasn't.
"What more could there be?" Nessie asked. She had no clue, "You've already given me enough to last forever."
"You're forever or my forever? Because depending on what you think," There it was, the diarrhea of the mouth, "they could be two totally different-"
"Our forever, Jake."
I took another deep breath, "Remember when… um… Zeff said something like being 'Chosen' is a lot like an Imprint?" it came out in a rush, "Well… it is- except you won't die, and I'm meant to make sure you're safe." I said, throwing in words like "I" and "You" hoping she would notice them. She looked at me oddly for a second before what I said slowly clicked in. She untangled herself from my grasp, again, and just stared at me.
"He was talking about us." I said for extra measure.
"What?" I couldn't read her reaction for a few seconds, and I fear the worst- but then she cracked a bright smile. And I do mean bright. Brighter than the moon would ever get.
She literally jumped back into my waiting, empty arms, and I was glad she did. They just didn't feel right without her- almost as if they were made just to hold her. I didn't think it would go down that easily. She knew and she accepted it- with open arms (literally). That was more than I could ever ask for.
"I imprinted on you, but that isn't the only reason I love you. It just makes sure that I'm not going anywhere- unlike any idiot who would ever 'love' then leave you. That's because no one- no one out of the billions of people on this planet- will ever love you like I do. You're everything I'll ever want… or need."
"I don't think you'll have to worry about that 'idiot' you talk about. You're the only idiot for me." She said, and then burst out laughing. I joined her. I was many things, but an idiot? Definitely. How could I ever think that she needed reassurance?
"I know this'll sound really cliché, Jake, but you've made me that happiest girl in… forever- and in only a few minutes! How do you-"
Again, my lips pressed against hers, cutting her sentence off, but also giving the answer to her question. And so I held her. Held her closer than humanly possible.
Humanly.
…
The Obstacle-
An Obstacle is the only thing- object or human- that ever stops one from achieving their greatest goals. Some (the weak ones) give up upon seeing it. Others (the risk takers) will try and try until they realize that there is absolutely no way to cross it. But the strongest (the fighters) will do anything in their might-and more- to cross this deceptive object.
Any Obstacle can be overcome- From the smallest to the largest, the easiest to the hardest. But no matter the size, shape or form of it, it can never completely drain someone of hope. Some people seek Obstacles, while others run from them.
If a race is run with no Obstacle at all, you will be excited once you've won. If a race is run, but a hurdle separates you from the finish line, it may take you a few tries to jump over it. But when you do- when you cross the finish line- how much shinier will that trophy be?
So maybe an Obstacle is not that bad a thing. When an Obstacle is overcome, it brings the victory more meaning. You will be more proud of the win, knowing you did what you did to get to it.
In this case, Zeff was the Obstacle, Jacob was the Fighter, and Renesmee was the Victory. And if there was no Obstacle, this would be just another cliché story- a story with only happiness. How shiny would that trophy be?
Pretty dull if you ask me.
-
Remember- there's only one chapter left! Make sure to read it!
Did you think I forgot Zeff?
By the way, make sure you also read Inside Out, my new JacobxNessie story. If you liked this one, you'll love Inside Out. That's code for read (and more importantly, review). By they way, to anyone who previously favourited/reviewed on the story already, I had to delete it and repost it- so review again! LOL! :)
