Author's Note: I got the warm-fuzzies while writing this chapter…. Hope you love it!
Bloody wanker's a funny word. I use it a lot in this chapter.
Thanks to everyone who tried to give me Neville's eye color. I have now concluded that his eyes are blue. That's what JK Rowling said, anyway. Thanks, Florescent Moon for finding that out for me! :)
Oh, and thanks, again, for the help on this chapter, Indy! That's Indigo March, everyone, Indigo March. She the GREATEST!
WARNING: This chapter contains random snogs, lots of jealousy, some minor bad language, and very sweet fluffy moments.
Enjoy!
* * *
Chapter 11:
Dates, jealousy, and really sweet kisses
"I said what?!"
Neville had come to ask Hermione what he had said to Luna that night he drank a little too much butterbeer. Suddenly, he wished he hadn't.
"You said you were going to marry her, called her pretty three times, called her nice, funny and smart, oh, and then you whispered, 'Don't tell Luna.'"
Neville groaned and covered his eyes with his hands. "No… no… this can't be happening…. No…."
Hermione frowned. "What's the matter? You told her how you feel, shouldn't you feel liberated?"
Neville looked up. "Not if she heard my confession from a drunken Neville! Why, why, why did I say that?" He now found it necessary to hit himself in the head after every why.
Hermione grabbed his wrist. "Neville, stop it. No, really, stop trying to hit yourself! Neville, you don't want me to curse your hands to your sides, do you?"
"No," he moaned miserably.
"I thought not." She released his wrist and pointed at her watch. "Now, hurry up. You told Parvati you'd meet her in twenty minutes!"
Neville grumbled something about not wanting to go and dragged his feet back up to his dormitory.
* * *
Parvati stood, waiting for Neville, at the bottom of the staircase. She tapped her foot and swayed around a bit, patiently waiting for Neville to descend the stairs.
Finally, he came down. When he got to the bottom, he held his arm out for Parvati to take.
"Shall we?" he asked.
She giggled and took his arm. "We shall."
They marched out of the common room and out to the grounds of the castle. As they walked, people watched and whispered. Parvati, being the social butterfly and cheerful person she was, waved and greeted everyone they passed. Just because Neville was a little frozen, didn't mean she couldn't lead.
* * *
Luna was standing outside, Ernie right beside her. He had started talking to her about something of no importance whatsoever. She was feeling unnaturally moody. Neville didn't remember anything!
"—and then I said, you know what, Hannah? You're a bloody wanker!"
Luna sighed. "Ernie, do you particularly like to call people 'bloody wankers'?"
But he was too busy fuming about Hannah Abbott to reply. "—she thinks she can go around snogging some random guy every other Wednesday! And look who she's going to Hogsmeade with this time! Colin Creevy! The nerve of that insufferable man—if you could even call him a man. He's a bloody wanker!"
Luna rolled her eyes. There it was again. Bloody Wanker. You know, she's getting really sick of Ernie. She'd rather go to Hogsmeade alone—or with Neville! But nooooooo! Neville had his arm draped around Parvati, that peppy, preppy, cheerful, nice-to-everyone, sunshine-y, GRYFFINDOR! Luna shuddered. She was thinking murderous thoughts again.
"ENOUGH ABOUT YOU, ERNIE! HAVEN'T YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT THERE'RE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS BLOODY WANKER-FILLED UNIVERSE?! OR, MAYBE THAT THOUGHT JUST ESCAPED YOU! AND, YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE THAT'S WHY HANNAH ABBOTT WON'T GIVE YOU TIME OF DAY! YOU'RE A BLOODY WANKER YOURSELF!"
Oops. Had she just said that out-loud? Ernie only stared at her. "My word, woman, what's wrong with you?! I hardly said a word!"
Luna threw her hands up in the air in disbelief. Gritting her teeth together she said, "Sure you did, Ernie! Sure you did."
"Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted—"
Luna sighed explosively, not even attempting to pretend she wasn't annoyed, because, truth be told, she was very annoyed.
"Guess what, Ernie?" said Luna as he rambled on about Hannah Abbott, not paying her the slightest bit of attention, "I hate you!"
Had she just said that aloud, too?
But Luna didn't have to bother worrying if he'd heard her or not, since he just kept talking.
"—and then she was all like, 'Yeah, well, I don't care if you call me a bloody wanker, Ernie. And you know what, you can take your comments and shove them up your'—"
Luna groaned. Neville had just walked by, his arm resting rather too comfortably around Parvati's waist, laughing quietly with her, all smiles and giggles. Well, it could've been worse, Neville's hand could've slipped a little bit more south—
Luna shook herself forcibly and nearly screamed as Ernie grabbed her roughly by the hand, just as Hannah Abbott happened to walk by holding hands with Colin Creevy.
"OH!" Ernie exclaimed, catching the attention of both Hannah and Neville. "LUNA! DON'T MOVE SO FAST WITH ME! I'M NOT READY!"
"What the heck are you talking about, you bloody wanker?! Oh, Nargles, now you've got me saying that!" Luna shouted, cheeks flaming as Neville's eyebrows raced north. "You're the one who just grabbed my hand out of nowhere—"
"What are you talking about, you bloodier wanker?" said Ernie, blushing as Hannah's eyebrows traveled North.
Luna saw Parvati lean close—too close for Luna's liking—to Neville and whisper in his ear loud enough for her to 'happen' to overhear, "Do couples usually call each other 'Bloody Wankers'?"
"SHUT UP, PARVATI!" Luna roared, turning to her. She was so angrily out of character, it's wasn't even funny.
"Um, Vati, maybe we should leave—" said Neville, a look of uneasiness on his face.
Right there, Luna lost it. VATI? HE GAVE HER A NICKNAME? A PET NAME? A LOVER'S NAME? And all he ever called her was "LUNA!" Luna this, and Luna that, and 'Hey, Luna, how are you?' But never a cute nickname like Vati!
And then, with Neville, Parvati, Colin, and Hannah watching, Luna grabbed Ernie's face and kissed him.
Neville's mouth dropped to the floor and he gasped for air, like it had been smacked out of him. She had kissed him. All Neville got was kisses on the cheek! He never got lip action!
Neville fainted and Parvati screamed his name. But just as quickly he jerked awake.
"Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh?" he screamed for everyone gathered to hear. Without another word he got up, took Parvati's face into his hands and kissed her. Parvati's eyes widened with shock. Neville Longbottom was kissing her. She pulled away, staring at him.
"Whoa," was all she said.
Luna was ready to explode.
Hannah was gawking at Ernie, and just as quickly, her shock was replaced with fury. She turned to Colin and grabbed him by the collar and pressed her lips forcefully to his. Colin didn't know what hit him.
Ron, who was walking by with Hermione and Harry, suddenly screamed, "WHAT'S WITH ALL THE RANDOM SNOGS?!"
"Random Snogs? Where?!" said Fred and George, who were also walking by.
"WHERE'S ANGELINA WHEN YOU NEED HER?!" Fred shouted.
Neville was so enraged, he didn't say another word.
Luna could have killed someone with one punch.
Ernie was feeling fairly embarrassed.
Hannah was furious.
Colin had no clue what had just happened.
Parvati, on the other hand, was rather happy.
Suddenly, it was time for them to walk to Hogsmeade. Neville grumpily walked with Parvati, with his arm wrapped tightly around her waist. Parvati just stood there happily, tracing her fingers on Neville's arm, giggling and whispering in his ear.
Luna walked, keeping a forced hold on Ernie's hand. Hannah kept glaring at them, Colin's arm around her shoulder. She cuddled close to Colin, seeing that Ernie was staring at her from the corner of his eye.
When they got to Hogsmeade, they all drifted apart. Colin and Hannah went to Madam Puddifoot's, while Neville and Parvati, as well as Luna and Ernie, went to the Three Broomsticks. Luna stared at Parvati through narrowed eyes: Neville was taking her to Three Broomsticks. That was their place!
Luna clenched her fist and walked alongside Ernie into the pub. They sat down at a table. To Luna's discontent, Neville sat with Vati at a table nearly right next to theirs.
She grinded her teeth as she looked over at the two. They were speaking loud enough that Luna could hear every word.
"So, Nevy," Parvati said, combing back a piece of stray hair from Neville's face with her finger, "what exactly are we going to do today?" Ever since Neville had kissed her, it felt as if she was under a love potion.
"Um… I didn't really plan ahead. I was just going to have us do stuff as we go along, I—um…."
It took every fiber in Luna's being not to reach over and slaughter Parvati. She leaned closer to Ernie and held onto his hand. She started talking in her sweet voice.
"Ernie, would you mind ordering the butterbeers?" She batted her eyelashes several times.
Ernie's brain was still shocked about what had happened earlier, so it took him a while to hear her. "Oh, um… sure."
Luna saw Neville look at her from the corner of his eye.
When Ernie got up, Luna quickly grabbed his hand. "Oh, and, Ernie?" She kissed his cheek and whispered something in his ear. Ernie blushed and ran off to get the butterbeers.
Neville felt fury surge through him. He cuddled Parvati closer. "Vati, what do you want to drink? It's on me."
Vati shrugged. "I'm fine. Why don't you pick for me, Nevy?"
Luna felt furious. Nevy? NEVY?! ANOTHER LOVER'S NAME?! Ernie had left the table, so Luna didn't have anyone to call cute while Neville was watching.
Neville smiled and bent down. He planted a kiss on her cheek. Luna was positively breathing fire now.
He got up to order their drinks. Parvati sighed when he was out of sight and giggled to herself. She turned to face Luna.
"Oh, hi, Luna! I didn't know you were going to be here!" she said, as if she was in a trance. She sighed again and said, "Isn't Neville the greatest? He's such a gentlemen! And he's so nice!" She traced her fingers over the table.
Luna gritted her teeth to stop herself from saying words she'd regret, and not to mention her father would be ashamed she'd use that kind of language, and said, "Well, I'm glad you two are having… fun. Ernie's quite the prize, too. He's… well he's," she paused, trying to think of another word to describe Ernie besides Bloody Wanker, "well, he's just Ernie."
Parvati smiled and squealed, "Look! He's coming back!"
There he was, Neville, marching back, two butterbeers in hand. Luna seethed with rage. That's what they always got! Ernie was coming back, too. When he approached the table, Luna grabbed his arm and hauled it down to get him to sit.
Luna could see Neville looking at her before he sat down. She saw him slide in next to Parvati and set down the drinks: Parvati wrapped her arms around his neck.
Luna quickly yelled, "Oh!" catching Neville's attention, as she pretended to fall. Ernie caught her, slightly startled.
"Luna! Are—are you ok?"
Neville felt himself snarling. He wasn't surprised if he would start foaming at the mouth.
Luna smiled up at Ernie, seeing Neville's face. "I am now."
Ernie blushed and helped her sit back down. As he threw himself into a conversation about absolutely nothing, again, Luna snuck a peek at Neville. What she saw nearly made her want to scream.
There he was, holding Parvati, drinking his butterbeer, listening intently as she spoke. He was smiling at her, laughing and whispering in her ear. Parvati was laughing, too, blushing like crazy.
And then, Luna did something either really clever, or really stupid. She grabbed Ernie by the collar and pressed his lips to her's. Then she pulled away and screamed, "Ernie! What was that for?!"
Neville gawked at her. She. Just. Kissed. Him. Again. AGAIN! She barely even knew him! Neville had known her way longer than he did! All he ever got were kisses on the cheek!
Ernie blinked. "Wh-What? I didn't—"
Luna, seeing that Neville was staring at them, pulled him in again and silenced him with her lips.
When she pulled away, she screeched, "Ernie! Would you stop?!"
"What did I do?! You're the one who keeps—"
Luna lifted her hand up signaling for Ernie to be quiet. "Ernie, please stop talking, it'll be a nice change."
Ernie grumpily sipped his butterbeer, while Neville went back to adoring Parvati. Luna drank her butterbeer quietly: It tasted bitter. Maybe it was because Neville didn't come there with her. Maybe it was because she felt sick seeing him with VATI. Or, maybe it was because Ernie had put something in it....
Before long, Luna had finished her weird-tasting butterbeer and gotten up. Ernie, who had finished too, did the same. They both walked out to the door, holding hands.
Neville stared after them. Where were they going? Maybe they were going behind an alley to snog! Neville shot out of his seat.
"Come on, Parvati. I'm done."
She got up and stared at him weirdly. "Ok, we can go, now."
Neville marched out the door with a firm hold on Parvati's hand.
* * *
Meanwhile, Luna and Ernie were walking. Luna didn't really know where, exactly: Ernie was just kind of leading. Soon, they reached Madam Puddifoot's. Ernie stopped Luna suddenly before they went inside.
"Look," he said, taking a deep breath, "I know you're just using me to make Longbottom jealous."
Luna blushed and looked down. "What?! I would never!"
"No, it's ok, really, because… truthfully… I only asked you out to make Hannah jealous."
Luna gave a shocked look. "You… you used me? You were just, playing with my emotions just to get Hannah jealous?!"
Ernie looked up. "Well, isn't that what you were doing with me to your precious Neville?"
Luna blushed and didn't answer.
"Exactly," stated Ernie, with triumph. "So," he continued, "since I've helped you make Longbottom jealous, now you have to repay the favor: We're going into Madam Puddifoot's to get Hannah to see us."
Luna suddenly looked up. "What?! Neville still has his arm wrapped around Parvati. It didn't do much to help that we were in there!"
Ernie sighed. "Please," he begged, "Neville will come! He'll see us, I promise! We'll make them both jealous!"
"How can you be so sure Neville will follow us?" asked Luna, completely perplexed.
Ernie laughed lightly to himself. "Boy, for a Ravenclaw, you sure miss the completely obvious…."
Luna's eyebrows scrunched together. "What do you mean?"
"Longbottom likes you! I could see that by the way he looks at you when you're with me. Come to think of it, it's much like the stares I give Colin… and Roger Davies… and Cedric Diggory… and Seamus Finnegan… and every other guy Hannah's ever gone out with. You know, I couldn't even count how many guys that's been, I think it started in third year, this whole every-other-week-snogs thing. I--"
"Ernie!" Luna snapped. "Now's not the time for one of your monologues!"
Ernie took a deep breath. "Right, sorry." He pointed over at the Three Broomsticks. "Look, there he comes. I told you he would." Luna looked over to where he was pointing. It was true. Neville had jump stormed out of the pub, Parvati at his side, and was looking around: He was searching for where Ernie and Luna had gone.
Luna smiled to herself as Ernie steered her inside Madam Puddifoot's by the hand. "Come on! Quick!" he said.
When they walked inside, they were greeted by tons of frill and lace hanging all over the place.
"Whoa," Luna muttered, suddenly feeling like they should have stayed at the Three Broomsticks.
"Look! There's Hannah!" Ernie whispered, pointing at a table near the very back. There was Hannah, right next to Colin, laughing and talking. Colin had brought his camera with him and was taking pictures of Hannah in funny poses. Hannah was sitting there, a funny face on, laughing with Colin, as if she was enjoying herself greatly. He whispered something to her; she smiled and started to giggle.
"Um, Ernie?" Luna asked, looking around cautiously like the frilly ribbons were about to explode in her face. "Why don't we go back to Three Broomsticks and--"
"No time!" Ernie snapped, dragging her deeper in Barbie's closet.
He plopped them down at a table, two away from Colin and Hannah.
Luna looked over to the door of the tea shop. Ernie was right, they hadn't had any time to leave or do anything else. Neville had just walked in, a determined look on his face, with Parvati not too far behind him.
* * *
Neville searched around the tea shop frantically. Where were Luna and Ernie? Why did they come in here? Were they going in here to privately snog?
Before Neville could explode with worry, Parvati grabbed his hand. He turned around to face her and found her looking up at him, a silly expression over her face.
"Ooh, Neville, this is sooo romantic," she said, giggling.
"What?" he asked, feeling confused. Then he stared down at their joined hands and at all of the other couples sitting in the room, laughing and snogging. He blushed and looked away.
Neville tried to dismiss that and continued to look around. He finally found Luna and Ernie: almost at the very back of the tea shop. Neville gulped. He had a feeling that his privately snogging theory had just been confirmed.
Neville nearly ran to the back, Parvati just barely sprinting behind him.
He sat them down one table away from Luna and Ernie.
Parvati sat down and grabbed both of Neville's hands over the table.
"So, Neville," she began, batting her eyelashes like a maniac, "I really think we should start talking about our status together...."
The rest was droned out to Neville. He was watching Luna and Ernie over Parvati's shoulder. Luna had just leaned over and whispered something to Ernie. He then began talking to her, as if giving her a lecture, like he was explaining something to her. Neville felt rage seething inside him.
"Neville?" Parvati asked, letting go of one of his hands to snap her fingers in front of his face. "Neville!"
"Huh? What?" Neville asked, awakened from his trance. "What? What happened? Who died?"
Parvati sighed and grabbed his hand again. She smiled. "Boy, Neville, for being really cute, you sure do forget things easily."
Neville blushed and looked at Luna again. She was staring at him in horror. She could clearly see him holding Parvati's hands. This only made him blush harder.
Parvati went on. "Neville, I think we should discuss our status together. Are we..." she seemed to be struggling for the right words.
Neville let go of one of her hands to pick up the tea that had just been laid out in front of them. He took a sip of the tea as Parvati struggled to say, "Are we a couple?"
Neville's eyes widened as he leaned to the side and did a spit take, showering an unknowing couple that had just walked by in tea.
"Wha-What?" he said, feeling utterly confused. Since Luna was still watching him intently, eyes full of murder, Neville grasped Parvati's hands and said, in his coolest voice, "Of course, Vati-dear! Of course we are."
Parvati beamed. "Oh, Neville, that's great! Now, we should really start discussing our time together. I mean, we want people to know we're a couple, don't we?"
As Parvati went on, discussing her plans for them, Neville tuned out again and watched Luna. She just sat there with Ernie, looking peaceful, laughing occasionally. She seemed to be looking at, more intently than anything, at Colin and Hannah. Ernie seemed to, too. Neville noticed Hannah's eyes darting back and forth between Colin and Ernie sitting with Luna. Ah, Luna.
Neville watched her closer. She seemed perfectly fine, expect, Neville could see a slight sadness in her eyes. She laughed only half-heartedly. She didn't seem to be enjoying herself the way she should have. Neville suddenly longed to be at her side, to comfort her, and ask her what was wrong.
"Oh Neville!" Parvati screeched, clearly excited at the aspect of having a boyfriend, "This is so romantic!"
Neville abruptly regretted his decision to ever try and make Luna jealous. He quickly attempted to push Parvati away, but it was too late. She grabbed the sides of his face and planted a kiss on his lips.
Neville's eyes widen. He pushed Parvati away, leaving her slightly disappointed, and turned to check if Luna had seen.
Oh, Luna had seen. Luna had seen everything. The sadness deepened in her eyes. How could she be losing Neville to some cheerful, peppy Gryffindor Luna knew he didn't really even like? She felt a slight emptiness in her heart.
Ernie leaned over and whispered to Luna, "We have to do it now. Hannah's clearly interested in why we're here. They look like they're about to leave."
Luna sighed. "Ok. Let's just get this over with."
She sat straighter in her chair and grabbed Ernie's hand. "Oh Ernie! Thank you sooooo much for taking me out this evening." She batted her eyelashes so hard, they hurt. She could see Hannah, looking REALLY angry at her from the corner of her eye.
Ernie pretended to be embarrassed. "Oh, really, it was nothing."
Luna smiled and said in her sweet voice. "It was something, Ernie. Don't be so modest." She leaned over and kissed him.
Neville couldn't take it anymore. He let out a yell of frustration and stalked out of the tea room.
"Neville!" Parvati yelled, running after him.
"Oh no," Luna muttered, beginning to leave, too.
"Luna, wait up!" Ernie shouted after her, following close behind.
Hannah followed them, Colin holding onto her hand for dear life at the speed she was walking.
"Neville! Neville, wait!" Luna ran to catch up with him.
Hannah walked right next Ernie, grabbed his wrist to stop him from walking any further, and screeched, "That's it, Ernie! I'm tired of playing games!" She grabbed his face and kissed him, leaving Colin in the dust behind her.
Luna was now very ahead of Ernie, Hannah and a very confused Colin Creevy, so she didn't see that everything had worked out for Ernie. She ran harder, pushed past Parvati, and grabbed Neville's arm.
"Neville! What's wrong?"
He stared at her, a look of anger mixed with disbelief. "What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG?! What's wrong is you and Macmillan making kissy-face at each other for everyone to see!"
Luna looked down, slightly ashamed of herself. "I'm sorry, Neville. I--"
Neville didn't want to hear it. "Oh, so now you're SORRY?!"
"Well, what was I supposed to do?!" Luna yelled right in his face, fighting back, tired of being blamed for something that went both ways. "You and little Vati cuddling each other every other chance you get!"
Neville blushed. "That's… That's completely off topic!"
"Really, Neville?" Luna said, voice littered with sarcasm. "Because, I believe that's totally on topic!"
Neville scrambled to change the subject. "Well—you and Ernie, I mean, what was with that?"
"Why do you even care?" Luna asked.
As Neville blushed an even deeper scarlet and attempted to explain very unconvincingly that he didn't care, Luna looked up at his eyes: They were a deep blue. She stared in them, tuning out all of the confusion and yelling. Neville's eyes reminded Luna of the sea. She would have happily drowned in his eyes.
She felt herself moving closer, though she wasn't really aware of it. Then, completely out of the blue, Luna reached up, took Neville's face into her hands, and cut off his screaming by planting a gentle kiss on his lips.
Neville was absolutely stunned. He was cut off in mid-sentence by a kiss. A kiss. From Luna Lovegood. Right here, right now. His eyes widened.
After about two seconds, Luna pulled away.
Even though the kiss had only lasted for two seconds, they had both felt every tingle and spark they had EVER felt, magnified by ten. It was something they hadn't felt through all of those fake kisses with Ernie and Parvati.
Neville felt dizzy. He probably would have passed out if it wasn't for Luna grabbing his arm.
"I'm sorry, Neville," Luna said, blushing. "I—I don't know what came over me, I just… um… I, uh--"
Luna began to walk them both back to the castle, refusing to meet his eyes. They had been the cause of this awkward silence.
Ernie and Hannah followed close behind, now. They were both giggling and whispering to each other.
Parvati had taken company in Colin. They were just talking, comparing each other's interests, laughing here and there.
When they reached the castle, Neville and Luna were the only two who stayed outside. They stood there, waiting for the other to talk first.
When Neville finally worked up the courage to speak, so had Luna.
"Luna, I—"
"Um, I have to—"
They both blushed harder, having spoken at the exact same time. Luna looked up.
"You go first."
Neville took a deep breath. The floor seemed to move under him. He felt himself swaying to the side.
"Neville!"
Luna grabbed his arm, catching him. He looked into her eyes. Luna felt slightly breathless. There were his ocean blue eyes again. Before she could move any closer and accidently kiss him again, she straightened him up into a standing position.
"Why don't I walk you to the common room?" Luna asked, trying hard not to look at his eyes.
Neville began to argue. "No, I'm fine." He felt that he should be the one walking her to her common room.
Luna grinned. "It's no problem, really."
They walked into the castle and up the stairs. Neither of them said anything. When they reached the portrait hole, the Fat Lady wasn't there. Neville and Luna were forced to stand and wait for her.
Luna looked around, pretending to be very interested in her shoes. Neville just stared at her, still not fully sure of what had happened outside. Had she really kissed him? Or was it all just in his head? What was going on?!
Luna opened her mouth, finally ready to speak. "Listen, Neville, I'm not sure why I… why I, did what I did out there. I… It's just that--"
Neville smiled reassuringly. "It's ok. Don't worry about it."
Luna grinned, relived that he understood.
"I just have one question," Neville said, looking like he needed this question answered. "Are you and Ernie dating?"
"Of course not!" Luna answered, reassuring Neville even more. "What about you and Vati?"
Neville smiled. "Nah, she's way too hyper."
Luna groaned. "Oh, I know what you mean! Ernie NEVER shuts-up!"
Neville laughed. They stood there, comparing the annoying things about their fake-dates, until they heard a slightly irritated cough form behind them. The Fat Lady had returned.
"Password?" The Fat Lady asked, clearly annoyed.
Neville turned around the face the portrait. "Twiddle Wits. Sorry, Luna. I have to go."
"It's ok," she said. "So, I'll see you at the lake on Friday?"
Neville grinned. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
Luna grabbed his arm just as he turned to walk away. She leaned forward and softly kissed his cheek.
Neville swayed a little as he backed up into the common room.
After he stood at the portrait hole for a while, waving good-bye, he walked into the common room, but not before he heard the Fat Lady mutter, "Neville Longbottom? Kiss a girl? Who would've guessed it…?"
Neville backed up to answer her. "Oh, I kissed a girl, alright."
The Fat Lady continued, utterly confused. "And you didn't have to torture her or tell her you had her mother?"
"Nope," Neville stated in triumph. "She kissed me."
He marched into the common room, leaving the Fat Lady muttering words of disbelief behind him.
